Chapter 13: Submitted

I had no idea how long I had stood there. At some point the wardens put our food boxes through the little hatch at the base of the door, but I didn’t dare move. Trix ate her evening meal and returned to reading.

Darkness had fallen by the time she spoke.

I think that’s long enough, she said, stuffing the book back under her pillow.

The first thing I did was take down my sweatpants and sit on the toilet to relief myself. As I was pissing, Trix got up and took my sealed food bowl from the floor as well as the pair of wooden cutlery I had been given with it. She sat back on her bed and patted the space next to her. I pulled my sweats up and walked towards her.

Uh-uh, she held up her hand, take that top off, it reeks of piss - and take the panties out of your mouth.

I sat down next to her, naked from the waste up. It was cold, and my skin was covered in goose flesh and my nipples were bolt stiff. She cracked the lid on my food.

Chicken curry with rice, she said, I’m sorry that it’s gone cold, but it can’t be helped.

She put the wooden fork into the bowl, stirred it all about, and came up with a portion. She brandished it at my face.

Eat, she said.

I opened my mouth and let her put the fork inside. I took the food from it and chewed.

Good girl, Trix said.

And so she fed me this way. It took a while, at least fifteen to twenty minutes, but she spooned every last bit of it into my mouth before throwing it down on the floor.

Make sure you get up early enough to clean before the wardens come, she said, and not just the food. You’ll need to clean up all the piss from the floor by the toilet.

Yes, Trix, I said.

She looked at my naked body.

I don’t think we should have sex tonight, she said, I think I have already asked enough of you.

Yes, Trix, I said again, if it pleases you.

It pleases me...

She trailed off. She was staring at my chest. I had never seen her look at me like that. It was how I had wanted her to look at me since the start. She reached out a hand and cupped a tit. She ran a thumb over my nipple. Pleasure shot through me. She looked deep into my eyes and I looked deep into hers.

When was it you knew that you liked women, Ally? She whispered to me, as if she didn’t want the world to know she had asked.

My head was spinning with the directions the day had taken.

I don’t know, Trix, I said, I’ve always liked women.

She leaned in and kissed me. There was no tongue, but it was deep and hard on the lips. My brain did somersaults. It felt like I had electricity inside my head. Nothing mattered right then; not what had just happened, not what would happen after.

She withdrew.

You taste like piss, she said.

I’m sorry, Trix, I replied.

She flicked my nipple again and then took away her hand.

Go and get some sleep, she told me, you can bring yourself off if you need to.

Thank you, Trix, I said.

I got up, took off the rest of my clothes and climbed the ladder to my bunk. I put my fingers between my legs and I was soaking wet but I just felt numb so I rolled over and closed my eyes.

In the morning I got right to cleaning the place up. My tank top reeked of piss so I had to wear the one that I’d dusted and brushed the floors with in order to get showered.

I’d smiled at Trix when she woke up but we hadn’t said a word to each other all morning and the silence remained as we walked the showers. The warden turned and looked at me and I hoped that he couldn’t smell me.