Chapter 8

You work a great deal these days. Not so much out of duty as out of hopelessness, and simply to keep yourself occupied. When you are helping someone, you think less about bad things. By the end of a day spent exhausting yourself at work, you are only capable of remembering the good. For example, the way your wife turned her ass to you on your anniversary and let you fuck her right there in the bathtub.

And you remember how afterward she turned to you and asked:

“Will you take me again on the bed?”

You were astonished by her sexual hunger and freedom that day. Only one thing troubled you: had Ann been so aroused precisely because before that the bum from the basement had just fucked and pissed on her? Ah, that Omar! He flew into your life like a bullet into the bull’s-eye, like a ball into the goal, like a rocket into star-space, hurled there by the booster engines of his lust! What was it in you that drew such a man into your lives? You could not shake the feeling that he had taken up some role in your marriage -- only what that role was remained unclear.

After the anniversary, and perhaps after your conversation, Ann changed. Or rather, she became more like her former self. She remembered that man is the spear-point of evolution. That human thought and human activity are astonishing miracles, and life must not be wasted. She threw herself once more into yoga and meditation, increased the number of her classes.

Again, you listened with admiring delight to her absurd idealist speeches.

“I want more than just a yoga school, Yuri!” she told you yesterday. “I want to create a new religion! One with the same force as the orthodox ones! You don’t believe I can?”

You wanted to answer, but had no time.

“Spirit!” Ann cried. “Spirit can do anything! Spirit can do what a person never even dreamed of! Willpower, desire, faith, fanaticism -- they can do anything! They make a person all-powerful! All-powerful!”

Looking at Annette, you believed in her omnipotence. And you understood that she would never leave you for someone like Omar, whatever the size of his organ. Only with you could she unfold the full boundless potential of an earthly goddess.

But that conversation was yesterday.

Today, on her day off, Ann was thoughtful after coming back from the store. She did no yoga. It was as if she had lost all her fervor on the way home. And later she got ready to go out again, changed clothes ... and changed them how.

“Ann, are you just taking out the trash?” you asked hopefully, looking at her miniskirt and short blouse.