Chapter 10

“Oh, it was,” she agreed. “Great meal, great movie, a great conversation, and you were so funny. And the kiss good night...” she trailed off.

“Best kiss ever,” I asserted. We had talked about it before, but all of those other times I had never realized that it was her first kiss with a guy.

“No question,” she agreed, “and, mister, you asked. You asked if you could kiss me. You didn’t just swoop in and try to stick your tongue down my throat.”

“Hey, there was tongue involved!” I said, pretending to be stern.

“Oh, there was,” she agreed, nodding. “Slow and gentle, just like it’s supposed to be. Just as good, or better, than any girl had ever kissed me. That’s when I knew.” Then she leaned in close, going up on her knees to reach me, and for the next several minutes we did our best to replicate that first, perfect kiss we had shared.

Her lips were so soft, and she tasted just like fresh coffee and cream. It wasn’t rushed or urgent, just our tongues lazily caressing one another. Her hands were on my chest, and gradually she began pushing me back into the arm of the couch. Soon she was practically lying on me, pushing her breasts into me, her robe working its way loose. That’s when I took her by the shoulders and gently pushed her away, sitting her back onto her side of the couch. She looked both shocked and hurt.

“You want me to communicate better?” I asked gently. “You want me to be a bit more out front with what I want? Okay, then before we go any further, I need to know what that was last night. How did we get from your standing in our bedroom doorway watching me fuck Delaney to my standing in the same place watching you fuck her? Exactly how?”

The hurt look faded from her face as she slowly nodded her understanding. She tightened her robe and began again, choosing her words very carefully.

“Okay, fair enough. I’ve told you that I thought I was gay before I met you. Well, since we met, I’ve never been with anybody else. But that doesn’t mean I was suddenly straight. I’m still ... attracted to women. I’ve met ladies who turn me on very much. Some of them have even come on to me. I ... can’t say the possibility of having sex with another woman hasn’t crossed my mind.”

She paused, checking me for my reaction. I was as still and attentive as possible, trying not to give anything away. She took a deep breath and continued.

“You’ve probably guessed most of what I felt when I walked in on you: shock, horror, anger, sadness. Hell, you probably felt the same things last night. Anyway, I felt like my whole world had been pulled out from under me. I was so sure I knew how life was going to happen for us, and suddenly everything was called into question. I was lost.” She paused before going on, “But I was also turned on - really turned on. And that was another shock to me that I had to work through.”

I had been doing my best to keep a neutral expression as she talked, but she took me by surprise with that last confession. I started to interrupt, but she shook her head, held up her hand, and went on.

“Yeah, I know, right? What’s up with that? But, honey, you do turn me on. Your body turns me on. Seeing you lying there, naked, being humped into the bed by this ... gorgeous Amazon. I mean. Wow.” Her eyes had glazed over a bit, but she refocused on me and continued.

“From where I was standing, I could see every detail. Her pussy stretched around your thick dick. That gorgeous ass of hers, those hard thighs flexing ... After all the screaming was over, I realized it had made me wet. Over the next few days, I ... kept going back to that memory ... trying to visualize it over and over again. I even ... masturbated, thinking about it, about what might have happened if I hadn’t screamed at you, but instead had just stripped off and joined you.”

She looked at me steadily. I had no idea in the world what to say. The house was utterly still around us, the coffee mugs sitting forgotten and cold on the table. She was grinning just a bit, but I could also see that she was waiting for my response, tense and nervous. Me? I was just trying to negotiate this curve. I felt like I had been speeding down a dark road at night and suddenly it had taken a sharp left. I was hanging onto the wheel for dear life. But I also couldn’t help but imagine the same thing. Jackie, naked, crawling into bed with Delaney and me.

She looked down at my lap, noted my sweat pants tenting out, and smiled.

“I see you approve. Well, part of my ... dilemma ... in the days after was just that. I struggled with this huge mix of emotions. I know you felt like I was shutting you out, but honestly, I had a lot to sort through. Were we going to make it? If so, would it be like before? I was pretty sure now that I didn’t want to go through the rest of my life without significant relationships with women, but how that would work into whatever the new “us” would be ... Honestly, I hadn’t a clue.

“A couple of days after I walked in on you two, I got my final grades in for the semester. You had a couple more weeks of school, so I had time to myself to sort everything out. And one thing I realized was that I was seeing Delaney every day.

“She was out running. Her route took her right by our house. True, she ran pretty quickly past the driveway, with her head down, but I needed to know what happened. I needed ... to talk to her. So, one afternoon I waited down by the mailbox for her. I didn’t know how she’d react. Would she stop, or keep going? I mean, I couldn’t force her to talk to me. There’s obviously nothing physical I could do to stop her, and I wasn’t going to make a scene in the middle of the road.