Chapter 3: Firebender and Firefucker

I looked at my two lovely lady friends. For once Mel didn’t have a stank face. Helen on the other hand looked angry, that we had left our home all too easily. She looked like she was itching for a fight. She either wanted to go back or was gonna have words with me instead.

Real talk, in those moments I was kinda afraid. My powers are only about creating pocket dimensions to chillax in. I can’t square off against real superheroes. Helen could be a real freak in the sack and I loved that about her. But I knew she could kick my ass just as much as she could fuck my pass up. I loved it when she did the second. I wasn’t looking forward to the first anytime soon.

And check it, all three of us were naked in public. There were people standing and gawking, looking at us. Not a flattering situation, although I took pride in being naked around two hot MILFs. I hoped people saw me as a pimp. Young and growing baby!

But just as I was about to say something, there was a loud crashing sound in the distance. That was what it sounded like at first anyway. Soon it got louder and began to sound more like an explosion. People had just started to notice our sexy naked entourage and then they were looking past us in the distance. Dudes looked like they were gonna shit bricks and the ladies had on that sweet ahegao face, but not because they were gonna cum anytime soon. I knew there was trouble.

And I didn’t have to look back to know what it was. It was Meruem, that giant freaky fuck had followed us out of my private dimension back to the real world. Looked back anyway to see if my hunch was true and you’re goddamn right it was. He was a fair distance away, must have been a couple miles at least. But even that far away, I recognized that big kaiju piece of shit. Comes trashing my home, decides to trash another.

I know he’s come here for me too. Mel for once doesn’t have that stank face on. She’s just looking on in horror, and then back at me. I don’t know what to say. What can I say? I’m looking over at Helen, she’s ready to fight. Cracking her knuckles, ready to take that thing on. My powers are purely for crossing into dimension, and Mel isn’t cut out for this sort of thing. She really is the only one of us here who can take him on.

But she’s also stinking hot. Not to mention the mother of one of my children. And as I’m watching Meruem, there’s already a whole bunch of helicopters engaged with it. Shots fired, explosions. That don’t mean a thing to that fucker, he’s just knocking them right out of the sky, sending them crashing to the ground. Maybe Helen might be able to do it, maybe. I ain’t putting any bets on it anytime soon.

I put my hand on her shoulder and she looks at me. No words need to be said. “Come on,” I say, and forcefully take her away from that mayhem. I don’t know how this one’s gonna end. But it ain’t gonna be like how she wants things to be.

The three of us are on the move again. We’re hotfooting it the fuck out of there, past skyscrapers into alleyways and onto the streets, and no matter how far we get, it’s chaos all around us. Cops and firefighters walk past us without a care in the world. Keep in mind the three of us are still naked as the day we were born, but nobody cares. Way more important things out there right now.

I lose track of time. Eventually the sounds of destruction seem to taper out. But I know it’s still going on. Up above, the blue sky has dimmed down to an orange pink and the clouds have become darker. It’s gonna be night soon. I don’t know if things seem to be calming down because we’re that far away from that giant buggy fuck or if it’s because it’s getting dark and even giant hellbeasts like him need some shuteye to rest and recuperate. I don’t know, and I don’t care. Losing my little private home away from home sucks and is a loss I’ll never forget. But I can always make a new one. That’s what it means to be an esper, that’s what it means to be Rick Blazer.

Soon it is night and the only thing left to light our way are the streetlights. We’re all vulnerable right now and I know that. Criminals and thugs all over the place, and our little posse is still naked. My powers are only good for opening up dimensional gateways and fuck if that’ll do us any good with that thing on our tails. I’m glad I stopped Helen from wanting to go toe to toe with Meruem. Because right now having her around is keeping our little family safe.

Not long before we find a shelter for all those displaced the recent disaster. People all around us, whole families and loners alike. We get some spare clothes and cover ourselves up. The least of my concerns, but hey, makes things easier for me. I’m a man of dick and fucking, not a guy who likes to throw hands. Even it would be to defend my lovely ladies’ honor.

We’re safe and away from all that chaos for the time being. I hear everyone talking about what happened, all the chaos left behind. And it’s not just people from the main city either. There are people from Amestris, outcasts from Outworld, pirates who once went sailing in search of the One Piece, hell there are even criminals from Gotham. All have had their homes and places one hundred percent wrecked by Meruem. I used to think my presence was what attracted Meruem to this fine city. But clearly I was deadass fuckin’ wrong, my home away from home was just another tourist stop on his very long travels.

That explained it. For the longest time, I had been wondering to myself how Meruem had gotten that big. Everybody knew he was dangerous, one of the most feared creatures in all the lands. But even then he was still just the size of your average bro. Someone Mike Tyson himself with just his hands could look scary next to. But now I know why he’s so big. Why he went after my place.

Fucker has been stealing power. Like the little bug he is, that parasite has only been getting bigger and bigger until he’s all but unstoppable. I’m glad I got out of my personal dimension when I did. A few seconds later and we really would all be dead.

And there’s more too. The fight we heard was fleeing from that titanic asswipe wasn’t just people from the local military around here. It was people from all over the many lands who banded together to make a concentrated effort against him. The battle was so bad that Meruem all but exhausted his power and is no longer a kaiju, but a little guy the size of you and me.

But there’s good news and bad news. Because people are also talking about how the military are all but spent exchanging fire with this thing. It lifts a weight off my chest to hear he got his shit kicked in left and right. I also know that going toe to toe with him even at this size, he’s dangerous. And I know that if he ain’t dead, it means I ain’t got time to rest anytime soon.

But someone in our little three people posse isn’t okay with that. Helen stands up.

“I’m gonna take care of him right now.”

“Are you kidding me?” I said to her. “Those armed helicopters and those soldiers couldn’t handle him. What makes you think that you can?”

She smiled. “I’m a hero. Tangled with stuff even the army had to run away from. They might as well make me part of Seal Team Six.”

I snicker. “For awhile you were part of Seal Team Sex. Ain’t that right baby mama?” I say on over to Mel. She actually smiles a bit. Reminds me of one of the reasons I took her beyond that overwhelming fucking hotness of hers. She can melt when I want her to. I turn back to Helen. “And you’re my other baby mama too.”

“Might not be any of your baby mamas by tomorrow,” said Helen.

Standing up I tell her to her face, “I ain’t having it. You try anything and I’ll warp us all to another pocket dimension. We might not be completely safe. But I can stop you from doing anything stupid.”

She frowned and arched an eyebrow at me. It’s rare when Helen gives me that stank face, I’ve become so used to seeing it on Mel’s pretty face. But this one scared me a little.

“Like to see you try.”

I know I can’t match up to her. I’m not strong enough to handle Meruem, I’m definitely not strong enough to handle this one. And as much as I’m inclined to frown at her thinking her stretchy elastic powers are enough to handle a monster like Meruem, she knew how to extend body inflation to all parts of her. One of the most fun things I’ve ever done with her involved her grabbing my little boy downstairs and stretching that palm and her fingers in and out while jerking me off. Those soft hands of hers moving in and out, it was like I had a vibrating fleshlight for my dick. If she can use her powers to those perverted ends, she could probably wrap herself around individual parts of him and then crush down on him until he’s nothing.

Not like I’m gonna let that stop me. “I said I ain’t letting it happen. Cut our losses and let’s get outta here. Let the rest of the military handle him.”

She frowns. I expect another exchange of words. But then there’s a sharp whistling sound.

I know it’s aimed right at us. We all turn to see a loner sitting in the corner. They’re only wearing a blanket and rags. But they’ve got that presence about them. Even in the darkness and only wearing that, I can tell they’re trouble. Deep down in my gut, I’m shitting my pants that I’ve run into another monster.

The stranger stood up. They keep their rags and blankets close around themselves, but as they walk on over to us, there’s a focus swiftness in their speed. Like they’re unafraid and got nothing to lose.

As soon as they’re close enough, they take down their hood and I get a good look at their face. My heart skips a beat and it feels like my balls shrivel up at the same time. I know who this is.

It’s Azula. A firebender who would have been queen, now just an exile hanging on the streets same as the rest of us. After her fall from grace, I know a lot of people have forgotten about her in the wake of Aang’s victory over Ozai. But to people like me who are in the know about this sort of thing, she’s a legend. It’s always been whispered that she’s been hiding, waiting for her next foray into power. Someone to fear as much as Meruem.

She’s just as hot as ever too. Even in a place like this sharing space with the rest of us refugees, her royal beauty is unmarred, flawless skin and raven black hair falling past her shoulders. Despite living in such meager conditions, her eyes are as smart as quicksilver and the smile on her face betrays so many wicked intentions. Under that royal robe she’s wearing, a keepsake of her heritage that keeps her regal after having fallen so far, I can see the fine shape of her form underneath, her breasts and her lustable womanly figure. And she’s looking right at me.

“I heard you’re looking to take on that Meruem,” she said.

“Yeah he trashed my place,” I said.

“He’s ignored this city until now. I wonder what it was that brought him here. He must have been looking for something.”

That cuts like a knife. Most people don’t know about the existence of people like me. Ladies like my lovely Helen are well known but they’re freak accidents. People like me even if our power isn’t that amazing just draw trouble no matter where we are.

I wonder if Azula is here because of me too. Doesn’t really matter why, point is she’s right in front of me. And she’s got me by the short hairs. Most people treat her and Meruem as just basic facts of life like nobody dares to question. Like if they’re God and the devil. They don’t know just what kind of crazy world we’re living in.

Especially not fucking normies living in this city. Azula is right here before me and nobody’s reacting. I know that everyone here has been through a lot. But if these people had any fucking sense, they’d know that right now they’re in the presence of a monster who is just as dangerous as the one who trashed their homes. Hell I’m tempted to open another pocket dimension right now just to get away from her.