Chapter 4

Jalen took Kristen to a bar and grill with a mix of booths and high-top tables, warm lighting, and a casual crowd. It wasn’t fancy or romantic, but somehow, that almost made it worse. it wasn’t the place that mattered. It was him.

Kristen told herself this was just dinner. Nothing more than two colleagues grabbing a meal after a long week.

“So,” she started, clearing her throat, “how do you usually spend your weekends when you’re not working?” She asked.

Jalen leaned back slightly, his dark eyes flicking over her before he answered. “Nothing too crazy. I usually catch a game, maybe shoot some hoops, hang out with the boys. Occasionally we’ll go out to a bar or club but not as often as we used to. What about you?”

Kristen hesitated. What could she say? Should she tell him the truth? That most of her weekends consisted of boring, routine dinners with Rob followed by them sitting in the same room, barely talking, watching separate screens?

She went for a half-truth instead. “I don’t know. I feel like most weekends just ... blend together.”

Jalen gave her a look like he knew exactly what she meant. “Yeah?” he mused, his tone just a little too knowing.

Kristen shrugged, staring at her water glass. “Yeah.”

And then he asked the question she had been dreading. “So what’s the deal with you and Rob?”

Kristen’s stomach lurched. She looked up, and Jalen was watching her closely now.

Kristen swallowed, forcing a small smile. “What do you mean?”

Jalen leaned forward slightly, resting his arms on the table. “I mean ... how come you never talk about him? ‘Cause I’ve been around you all week, and his name barely comes up.”

Kristen’s throat went dry. She hadn’t even realized it until now. She had barely mentioned Rob at all.

Kristen licked her lips, shifting in her seat. “We’ve just been busy. He travels a lot for work. It’s fine.”

Jalen raised an eyebrow. “Is it?”

Kristen’s stomach lurched again. She knew what he was doing. He was giving her a chance to be honest.

Kristen exhaled sharply, looking away. “It’s ... complicated.”

Jalen didn’t push. But his silence said everything.

Later in the conversation Jalen was sharing his thoughts on relationships, making Kristen question her own even more. She sat perfectly still, her fingers lightly gripping the edge of her water glass, trying not to let Jalen’s words sink in too deeply, but it was impossible because every single thing he was saying was hitting home in a way she wasn’t ready for. He was relaxed but intentional.

“I just think...” Jalen started, swirling the ice in his drink before glancing back at her. “A relationship shouldn’t feel like a job. It shouldn’t feel like you’re constantly convincing yourself you’re happy when you’re really not.”

Kristen’s stomach tightened. Jalen leaned forward slightly, resting his arms on the table.

“I believe that if you’re with someone, you should feel loved. Completely. And if you ever stop feeling that way, you should be able to talk about it. If the other person isn’t willing to hear you out or give you what you need...” He shook his head, “ ... then they don’t deserve you.”

Kristen swallowed hard, looking away. The words felt like they were tailored for her like he had been watching her and Rob at home all week. She had spent so much time convincing herself that her relationship with Rob was fine, that the distance was just a phase, and the lack of passion was normal after being together for a few years. She thought about how they’d go days, sometimes weeks, without having a real conversation. Now sitting here, listening to Jalen say it so plainly and confidently made her feel like she had been lying to herself for a long time.

She forced a small smile, trying to deflect. “Sounds like you’ve got it all figured out.”

Jalen gave a low chuckle. “Not at all, but I know what I want, and I know what I won’t settle for.”

Kristen bit the inside of her cheek, her heart pounding. If Jalen believed that and refused to settle for anything less than real love, real effort, real passion then what the hell was she doing? She glanced down at her phone, still in her lap, the screen dark. There were no texts or missed calls. Rob hadn’t even seemed to noticed she wasn’t home at the usual time. Jalen noticed her though. He saw her and he listened. Kristen inhaled sharply, blinking a few times to shake the weight of her thoughts.

“I should probably get going soon,” she said quickly, feeling like she needed to run before she let this get any deeper.

Jalen didn’t argue. He just nodded slowly, his eyes still watching her closely. “Alright.”

There was something in his tone though, as if he knew this conversation wasn’t over.

Kristen went home. She walked into the house, her mind still tangled in the conversation she’d just had with Jalen. Her entire drive home, she had told herself that this wasn’t about Jalen. This was about her relationship and figuring out if she and Rob were even on the same page anymore. She had to talk to him. She had been putting it off for too long, and after hearing Jalen say, so clearly, that a relationship should be about feeling loved, that partners should be able to communicate when they don’t feel that way, Kristen knew she had to say something. Her biggest fear right now was that Jalen may be right. Maybe Rob really didn’t deserve her.

Kristen found Rob in the living room, unsurprisingly, sitting on the couch, laptop open, barely acknowledging her when she walked in. She set her purse down and took a deep breath. “Hey, can we talk?”

Rob barely looked up, still typing something. “Yeah, give me a second, just finishing this email.”

Kristen swallowed down her frustration, waiting until he finally shut his laptop and turned to her.

“What’s up?” he asked, as if this was just a normal night, and she hadn’t been sitting on something that had been eating away at her for months.

She crossed her arms, choosing her words carefully. “I just ... I feel like we don’t really talk anymore. We don’t spend time together like we used to.”

Rob sighed, already looking exhausted by the conversation before it even started. “Kristen, we’ve been over this. You know I’ve been busy with work.”

Kristen’s chest tightened. She wasn’t going to let him brush her off this time. “I know you’re busy, Rob. But I’m telling you that I feel like our relationship isn’t getting the attention it needs, and if we don’t put in the effort, it’s going to--”

“Kristen, this is a crucial time in my career,” he cut in, rubbing his temples like he was already tired of this. “I need to be hyper-focused right now because this could eventually set me up for a cushy position in the future.”

Kristen stared at him. That’s what this was about? He wanted her to just wait it out until he got some easier job in the future? “Rob, I get that your job is important. But our relationship needs attention too, or it can die.”

Rob shook his head, clearly not seeing it the same way. “No, what I need is for you to be more supportive during this time,” he argued. “This isn’t forever, Kristen. I just need you to hang on until I get to a better position.”

Kristen felt a sharp pang in her chest. That was it? That was his solution? For her to just wait and deal with the loneliness, the lack of connection, the emotional distance until some undefined point in the future when he finally decided to make her a priority?

Her fingers tightened into fists at her sides. “And what if I don’t want to wait, Rob?” she asked quietly.

Rob finally looked at her, really looked at her, and for a split second, she saw the realization that maybe, just maybe, he was losing her, but instead of trying to fix it, instead of meeting her halfway, he just exhaled sharply. “Kristen, I don’t have time for this conversation right now.”

And with that, he grabbed his laptop, stood up, and walked toward the stairs to their bedroom leaving her standing there alone, again. Just like always. Kristen felt frozen in place, her mind spinning, her chest tight. He didn’t get it. He wasn’t even trying to get it, and maybe that was the real problem. She had been fooling herself for months, pretending that things would get better, that this was just a rough patch, but what if it wasn’t? What if this was just who Rob was? Someone who would always put work first, and expect her to just wait around, hoping for scraps of his attention. She had been waiting for a sign, and now, she had it. Jalen’s words echoed in her head.

“If the other person isn’t willing to hear you out or give you what you need ... then they don’t deserve you.”

Kristen blinked, her throat tight, her mind made up. She wasn’t going to wait forever. She wasn’t going to let herself disappear in this relationship, because she deserved more. She deserved to be loved, and if Rob couldn’t see that then maybe it was time to stop pretending this was something it wasn’t.

Kristen hadn’t even thought to check her phone while arguing with Rob. She had been too caught up, frustrated, and disappointed to even glance at it, but now that she was alone, sitting on the couch in the dimly lit living room. She finally picked up her phone and unlocked it. That’s when she saw the message from Jalen. On Facebook Messenger it read:

“Hey, thanks for having dinner with me. I know your schedule is busy. I hope your fiancé knows how amazing you are.”

Kristen stared at the words, her breath catching in her throat. It wasn’t flirtatious or even inappropriate, but somehow, it still felt heavier than it should. Jalen had just done something Rob hadn’t done in a long time. He had acknowledged her, and had even shown appreciation to her. The worst part was that she didn’t even have an answer to the unspoken question in his message. Did Rob know how amazing she was? After the conversation she’d just had with him, the answer felt painfully clear. No, he didn’t. Not in the way Jalen already seemed to.

Kristen’s fingers hovered over the keyboard. She wanted to respond, but what? What was there to say? She couldn’t tell him about the argument she’d just had with Rob, how much his words had made her feel seen in a way she hadn’t felt in so long, or that she was laying here, heart pounding, knowing damn well that she was on the edge of something she wouldn’t be able to come back from. So instead, she did nothing. She locked her phone and set it face-down on the couch, as if that would stop her from thinking about him, as if she didn’t already know, deep down, that her life was on the verge of changing.

A few hours later, Kristen laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, her mind a war zone. Her body was exhausted, but her brain wouldn’t shut off, not after that conversation with Rob and Jalen’s message. The words from the message were still there in the forefront of her mind, playing over and over again in her head like a song she couldn’t turn off.

“Hey, thanks for having dinner with me. I know your schedule is busy. I hope your fiancé knows how awesome you are.”

Kristen rolled onto her side, her fingers itching to pick up her phone again. She wanted to respond. She wanted to type something, anything, just to keep the conversation going, but she didn’t trust herself. Not when her emotions were too raw and tangled up in everything that had just happened. She needed to be careful. One wrong move, and she was crossing a line that she wasn’t sure she’d be able to come back from. She stared at her phone, debating. She could say something polite and neutral.

“Thanks, Jalen. Dinner was nice.”

Safe but that felt too impersonal, like she was ignoring what he had really said.

She could be honest.

“Rob doesn’t see me the way you do.”

Kristen’s heart skipped a beat just thinking about typing that because if she said it out loud, then she couldn’t keep pretending anymore, and she would have to face the truth that there was something real between them, and if she admitted that then what would that mean for everything else?

On Monday, Kristen hung back at the end of the day to talk to Jalen again. She had been telling herself all day that she wasn’t going to do this, but here she was. It was 5:20, and most of the staff had left, leaving the building quiet. Jalen was still wrapping up in the storage room, looking over his notes, packing up his tools. Kristen was standing in the doorway not even remembering how she got here, but the moment Jalen looked up and saw her standing there, she remembered immediately.

Jalen smiled lightly, tossing his gloves into his bag. “You checking on me again?”

Kristen tried to play it cool, crossing her arms. “Someone’s gotta make sure you’re actually working.”

Jalen let out a low chuckle, shaking his head. “You really don’t trust me, huh?”

Kristen hated how easily he could disarm her, and how comfortable this felt, like they were already more than they should be.

She exhaled, stepping further into the room. “I just ... wanted to talk.”

Jalen nodded slowly, leaning against the workbench, watching her. Before she knew it, they were talking again, but really talking. They talked about work, life, and even things they hadn’t told anyone else. Eventually, the conversation landed on Rob. Kristen felt that uncomfortable feeling in her chest again, but for some reason, it didn’t feel as scary as it had before. Jalen wasn’t asking her anything or prying. He was just relating. She told him how she and Rob didn’t feel close anymore and how their last conversation went the previous night and how Rob said she needed to “hold on”.

“I get it,” Jalen said, exhaling. “I mean, it’s not the same, but me and my brother? We haven’t been that close lately.”

Kristen looked at him, surprised. “Really? What happened?”

Jalen hesitated, running a hand over his jaw. “It’s not one big thing. Just ... life. We grew up together, we were close, but after high school, we started going in different directions. And now?” He exhaled sharply. “Feels like we don’t even talk anymore. And when we do, it’s short. Surface-level. Like we’re just going through the motions.”

That sounded so familiar to Kristen. It was like he was describing her relationship with Rob. The slow disconnect and the feeling of being around someone, but still feeling alone.

“That must be hard,” she murmured.

Jalen gave a small, tired shrug. “Yeah. It is, but I’ve realized something.”

Kristen tilted her head. “What’s that?”

Jalen’s dark eyes met hers. “Some things you can fix. Some things you can’t, but either way, you gotta be real with yourself about which one it is.”

Kristen swallowed hard, her heart pounding. The moment he said that, she felt an even worse feeling in her chest. She already knew the answer when it came to Rob. She knew she had been lying to herself for too long, and Jalen could see it in her eyes.

Kristen hadn’t meant to say it. Before she could stop herself, she said, “Rob and I ... we haven’t had a real date in almost eight months.”

Jalen’s eyebrows lifted slightly, but he didn’t interrupt, instead just letting her talk. Kristen let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through her hair.

“I can’t even remember the last time I had a fun night out with him. Not one that didn’t feel forced, where I wasn’t just ... just waiting for him to stop checking his damn phone or thinking about work.”

Jalen leaned against the workbench, arms crossed over his chest, watching her closely, and then ... he smiled.

“Then maybe it’s time you have one.”

Kristen blinked. “What?”

Jalen shrugged casually, like it was the easiest thing in the world.

“I was already planning to hit up Dave & Buster’s tonight. Figured I’d unwind with some arcade games and wings. If you’re free, you should come with me.”

Kristen’s stomach dropped. That was so, so dangerous. She hesitated. “Jalen, I...”, then she remembered that Rob wasn’t even in town. She didn’t have an excuse, except for the one that really mattered. That this was a bad idea and that she already wanted to say yes too much. Jalen must have seen the hesitation on her face, because he began chuckling.

“Relax, Kristen. It’s just games, bar food, drinks, and a good time. No pressure.”

‘No pressure.’ That was where he was wrong because every time she was around him, it felt like the air was thick with pressure. Still ... she craved a night where she could just be herself, and wasn’t waiting for someone to pay attention to her. Also she wanted to see what it would feel like to be out with Jalen. Just once. Kristen took a breath.

Then, before she could talk herself out of it... “Okay. I’ll go.”

Jalen’s smile widened, slow and knowing. “Good choice.”

Kristen had spent the entire drive in her car to Dave & Buster’s giving herself a pep talk. “This isn’t a date. This isn’t a date. This isn’t a date.”

She changed into more comfortable clothes. She changesd out of her blouse, skirt and heels, and put on a grey tank top with a dark green jacket, black leggings, and New Balance sneakers. It was just a casual night out; a friendship thing. This was something normal and harmless.

The moment she walked into the bar area and saw Jalen standing there waiting for her, however, her stomach did somersaults. He looked good. Too good. He wasn’t in his usual work clothes. There was no worn-out T-shirt or tool belt. Instead, he was wearing a fitted black polo that clung to his broad chest and shoulders, paired with clean dark blue fitted jeans and fresh Nike sneakers. He looked effortlessly casual, but still ridiculously attractive. When he saw her she felt completely exposed like he already knew this wasn’t just casual for her, no matter how much she tried to pretend. God, what was she doing here?

They started with drinks at the bar, something light to ease into the night. Kristen again kept telling herself that this was just hanging out, and for a while, it worked. They talked, laughed, and the drinks flowed.

Then they started playing the games, and that’s when it really started to feel like something else.

Kristen hadn’t been to Dave & Buster’s in years, but Jalen moved through the place like it was his second home. Skee-ball, basketball hoops, racing games, he was good at all of it. He played so relaxed, confident, and so effortlessly fun. Kristen suddenly realized that she hadn’t felt this alive in a long time. She wasn’t thinking about work, checking her phone, or wondering if Rob was going to call. She was just in the moment, and with every game, playful challenge, and little bit of teasing and laughter between them, she could feel that undeniable pull. Her body instinctively gravitated toward his. Her pulse jumped every time he leaned in close or when his hand brushed against hers. At one point, they were at a basketball shooting game, and Jalen stood behind her, watching her take a shot. It felt so good feeling him stand right up on her.

“You got the form down, but your release is too slow,” he murmured.

Kristen rolled her eyes, lightly smiling. “Oh, so now you’re a coach?”

Jalen chuckled. “I’m just saying, I could help.” Then before she could say anything else, he stepped even closer behind her so that now his crotch was touching her butt, and his hands lightly resting on her waist as he adjusted her posture.

Kristen’s breath hitched because suddenly, she wasn’t thinking about the game anymore. She was thinking about how close he was, how warm his hands felt and how every inch of her body was hyper-aware of his presence.

“Try now,” he said, his voice close to her ear. Kristen tried and she missed.

Jalen laughed. “Yeah, no, that was worse.”

Kristen turned, smacking him lightly on the chest. “You’re terrible at this!”

Jalen grinned. “Or maybe you’re just distracted.”

The way he said it, low, teasing, a little too knowing, once again made her feel completely exposed.

It wasn’t until later in the night, when they were sitting at a high-top table, sharing a plate of wings and another round of drinks, that it really hit her. This wasn’t just casual and fun. This was a date, and the worst part about it was that it was the best date she’d had in years. She wasn’t pretending to have fun, waiting for Rob to engage, or feeling like an afterthought. She was just enjoying herself, and enjoying Jalen.

Then ... Jalen said something that changed everything in an instant.

“I didn’t expect to like you as much as I do.”

And just like that, the ground beneath Kristen shifted. Her breath caught in her throat. Her fingers tightened around her glass, not taking a sip. Jalen wasn’t smiling or teasing anymore. He was just looking at her, calm and sure, like he had nothing to hide.

Kristen swallowed hard, her heart pounding. She should have shut this down, laughed it off, pretended like she didn’t feel the exact same thing, but she couldn’t. Because, obviously, she liked him too. A lot more than she ever expected to.

Kristen finally found her voice, but it was softer than she meant it to be. “Jalen...”

He tilted his head slightly, watching her closely. “What?”

Kristen inhaled sharply, trying to pull herself together. “We ... this-” she hesitated, shaking her head. “This isn’t supposed to happen.”

Jalen didn’t flinch. “Yeah ... but it is.”

His confidence rattled her. Like he wasn’t confused about this at all. Kristen exhaled, finally tearing her eyes away from him.

“I have a fiancé,” she murmured, as if she needed to remind herself.

Jalen let out a low chuckle, but there was no humor in it. “Yeah, Kristen. I know.”

The way he said it, like it didn’t mean what she wanted it to mean, and didn’t change what was happening between them, it sent a sharp, heated jolt through her chest.

The moment hung in the air. Kristen’s pulse felt like it was going a thousand miles an hour. Her body was too warm, her mind was spinning, and she knew ... she had to go. Now, before she said something she couldn’t take back.

She pushed back from the table, trying to keep her voice steady. “I ... I have to go.”

Jalen’s expression shifted. For the first time tonight, he looked ... disappointed. Not angry or frustrated, just ... sad. As if he had been expecting this to happen but had hoped, even just a little, that she might stay. Kristen grabbed her purse, avoiding his gaze.

“Thanks for tonight,” she said quickly, already turning away.

She walked fast to her car. This was a retreat, a desperate attempt to get away from a feeling that was already sinking too deep. Jalen just sat there, watching her go, his fingers drumming lightly against the table. She could feel his eyes on her as she hurriedly walked away. The worst part about all this was that she didn’t even want to leave, but she had to because if she stayed, she knew exactly what would happen. Kristen sat in her car, gripping the steering wheel, staring at the glowing city lights through her windshield. Her chest was tight, her thoughts racing. What the hell was she doing? What was she feeling? Why did leaving Jalen feel like she had just made the biggest mistake of her life? She had done the right thing. She had stopped this before it could go too far. So why did she feel like she had just lost something?

She thought about his face and that moment of visible sadness. He hadn’t even tried to stop her. Kristen exhaled sharply, pressing her forehead against the steering wheel. The truth was she didn’t know what she needed anymore, but one thing was becoming painfully clear. She had never felt this way about Rob.

Kristen did exactly what she thought she needed to do. She stayed away. No check-ins, lingering conversations, casual “just passing by” excuses to see him. Nothing. Tuesday. Wednesday. Thursday. Three whole days of forcing herself to focus on just work, to pretend that nothing had happened, and act normal. Yet ... it didn’t feel normal. The second she started avoiding Jalen, it was like she had switched off a light inside herself. What made it worse is that she knew Jalen noticed. The absence of their usual banter, the way he didn’t so much as glance in her direction when she passed by, the way he didn’t reach out or didn’t text, didn’t even try to get her attention, it was like he was giving her exactly what she wanted. At least, what she thought she wanted.

She sat in her office late Thursday afternoon, staring blankly at her computer screen, realizing that she had barely gotten anything done. Her mind kept wandering back to Friday night at Dave & Buster’s. She had laughed so freely, smiled so effortlessly, and felt so seen. She thought about how Jalen had looked at her when he said: “I didn’t expect to like you as much as I do.”

Kristen swallowed hard, shutting her eyes. She had been running all week. She had been trying to pretend like she wasn’t feeling something, but now, she had to ask herself if she really wanted him to stop trying. If she kept this up, eventually, he was going to believe that she didn’t want him.

On Thursday night, Kristen was in the kitchen at her house, sipping a glass of white wine when she heard the front door open at 7:45 pm. She turned, watching as Rob dropped his bags by the entrance, loosened his tie, and let out a long sigh. He saw her, but he didn’t smile or rush over to kiss her. He didn’t even seem happy to be home.

“Hey,” he muttered, rubbing his neck. “Long week.”

Kristen set her glass down. “Yeah, I bet. How was the trip?”

Rob shrugged. “Fine. Tiring.”

Kristen waited for him to ask how she was doing, show some interest, or at least pretend that he cared about being back home with her. Instead, he just exhaled, grabbed the remote, sat down on the couch and turned on the TV like she wasn’t even there.

Kristen felt a tightness in her chest, but she gave him one more chance. “Do you wanna sit and talk for a bit? Catch up?”

Rob didn’t even look away from the screen. “Not really. I just wanna watch this and head to bed soon.”

That was it. That was the final straw. Kristen stared at him, something inside her snapping. She had enough. She had spent so much time trying to make this work and convince herself that Rob would come around. and start seeing her again. But this wasn’t love. This was a one-sided relationship where she was just supposed to sit and wait for permission to matter, and she was done waiting. She was going to choose herself.

Kristen picked up her phone, heart pounding. She didn’t even hesitate. She pulled up Jalen’s name in her messages. Her fingers hovered over the keyboard for half a second. Then she typed: “Are you free?”

Then hit Send.

Jalen and Kristen met at the office even though it’s 8:30 pm. Kristen unlocked the door and waited for Jalen to arrive. Jalen pulled up in his truck about five minutes later, and she let him inside the office building. They simply said, “Hey” to each other, before Kristen led him downstairs to the storage room, her red-bottom 10-cm Pigalle high-heeled pumps clicking as she walked. She flicked on the light and went inside with Jalen following her and then turned to face him.

“I really appreciate you coming,” she said in a low voice, “I ... I really needed to see you.”

“Kristen...” Jalen’s voice was low, cautious. “What’s going on?”

She inhaled shakily, trying to find the words.

Before she could, Jalen took a step closer. “Why did you bail on me Friday?” he added, his tone shifting slightly. “Why have you been avoiding me all week?”

Kristen’s chest tightened. She knew this was coming. She knew she had hurt him, whether he wanted to admit it or not. For Kristen, it was time to stop running.

She lifted her gaze to meet his. “Because I was scared.”

Jalen’s jaw tightened, his eyes searching hers. “Scared of what?”

Kristen let out a slow, shaky breath. “Scared of what I was feeling. Scared of what I almost did that night at Dave & Buster’s. Scared of how much I wanted you.”

Jalen exhaled sharply, running a hand over his beard. “Damn, Kristen...”

She shook her head, pressing forward. “I didn’t expect any of this. I didn’t expect to meet you and feel ... this. I didn’t expect to have fun with you. I didn’t expect to want more. And I definitely didn’t expect to realize just how empty my relationship with Rob is.” Jalen’s eyes darkened, his posture stiffening.

“You really about to say this to me right now?” he murmured, his voice unreadable.

Kristen swallowed hard, nodding. “I am. Because I’m done pretending.” She stepped closer, closing the space between them. “Rob came back tonight,” she admitted, voice shaking. “He walked through the door after four days away, and you know what he did? He sat on the couch, turned on the TV, and said he didn’t want to talk. He didn’t even care that he hadn’t seen me since Sunday.”

Jalen’s eyes flashed, but he didn’t say anything.

Kristen let out a bitter laugh, shaking her head. “And that was it for me. That was my breaking point because no matter how much I tried to convince myself that I was fine, that I should just keep waiting for things to get better ... I realized something tonight.” She met his gaze, heart racing. “I don’t want to wait anymore. I don’t want to settle. I don’t want to feel invisible. And I don’t want him.”