Chapter 27

While the seven women were together at Megan’s house, Jalen himself was at his apartment comfortably sunk into his couch, controller in hand, locked into an intense Call of Duty match.

He was in his element: sweatpants, t-shirt, socks on, fully relaxed for the first time in what felt like forever. The past few months had been chaotic, but at this moment, there were no court cases, no threats, no crises. Just him and the game.

Knock*Knock*Knock

Jalen turned around at the sound of knocking and frowned. he sighed as he quit the game and put the controller down. He wasn’t expecting anyone.

He got up, stretched, and peered through the peephole.

It was Jennifer Rollins.

Jalen exhaled sharply. Of all people...

He hesitated. For a brief second, he debated not opening the door, but that wasn’t his style. He swung the door open, keeping his expression neutral.

They were silent for a moment, staring at each other before she finally spoke.

“Hi...” Jennier said softly. Her nerves were evident in the way she shifted slightly on her feet. “Can we talk?”

Jalen leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed.

“I don’t know,” he said bluntly. “Last time I saw you, you basically accused me of ruining your life.”

Jennifer winced. She knew she deserved that.

“Jalen...” she started, her voice quieter now. “I was wrong for yelling at you that day, and I’m really sorry.”

Jalen’s expression didn’t change. “Thanks,” he said flatly. “Well, at least you don’t have to agonize about choosing me anymore.”

She flinched, the words clearly hitting her hard. She stared at him, taking in the coldness in his voice and the hurt behind his eyes.

She knew she had done that. She knew she had hurt him.

Jalen, the man who had never manipulated her, pressured her, or deceived her, and who had shown her nothing but patience and care...

She had attacked his very character when she yelled at him. She had made him feel like the villain, when in reality, she had wanted him to finish inside of her. She had stayed in his lap, she had clung to him, and then she had blamed him for it.

Jennifer swallowed hard. Her face full of guilt and like she felt sick.

“ ... Can I come in?” she asked quietly.

Jalen didn’t move at first. He let the silence stretch, studying her carefully. Then, after a beat, he stepped aside, letting her in.

She walked in slowly, standing awkwardly in the middle of his living room as he closed the door behind her.

Jalen crossed his arms again, waiting. “Talk.”

Jennifer lightly crossed her arms over her stomach. The space seemingly feeling different than last time she was here. Or maybe she just felt different.

Jalen stood a few feet away with his own arms crossed. He intentionally made his posture looked like he was closed off. He wasn’t going to make this easy for her.

She took a breath, seemingly trying to steel herself. “I owe you more than just an apology, Jalen,” she began carefully. “I hurt you. I know I did.”

Jalen said nothing. He just tilted his head slightly, waiting.

Jennifer exhaled. “I was scared,” she admitted. “Not just of the whole ‘you and seven women’ thing. I was scared of how you make me feel. I was scared of how much I wanted you, and how easy it was to let myself go with you, and when I realized what I’d done, I panicked, and instead of owning that, instead of just ... admitting it, I turned it on you.”

Jalen’s jaw tensed slightly, but he still didn’t speak.

Jennifer licked her lips, shifting her weight. “I told myself for years that I’d never be one of those women who let herself fall. I told myself I’d never lose control because I’ve seen men take advantage of women who do.” She scoffed at herself. “And then I met you, and I lost control in the backseat of my own damn car.”

Jalen let out a short breath through his nose, his gaze flicking away for a moment.

“I stayed on top of you, Jalen,” Jennifer whispered now. “I knew what I was doing. I didn’t stop it, because I didn’t want to stop it.” She swallowed, eyes locking onto his. “And when I realized that? When I realized how much I wanted it? I freaked out, and I blamed you.”

Silence. Jalen’s face was remained unreadable, but his eyes weren’t as cold now.

Jennifer inhaled deeply, pushing past the lump in her throat. “You didn’t deserve that, and I don’t expect you to just forgive me right now. I just needed you to know the truth and that I’m sorry.”

A long, heavy pause settled between them.

Jalen finally shifted. He uncrossed his arms as he exhaled. “Why now?” he asked. His voice was calm, but firm. “Why are you here now? It’s been over a month.”

Jennifer hesitated.

“ ... Because I don’t want to lose you,” she admitted softly. “And I was afraid I already had. Part of the reason I waited so long to come here is because I was ashamed of myself for how I treated you. You changed my life, Jalen, and now ... when you’re not in it ... life feels empty and cold.”

Jalen studied her for a long moment, his deep brown eyes searching hers, peeling back the layers of her words. Finally, after what felt like forever, he spoke.

“I was really hurt by what you said that day, Jennifer,” he said in a low and steady voice. “I don’t think you understand just how much.”

Jennifer’s stomach twisted. “I know,” she said, voice barely above a whisper.

Jalen ran a hand over his jaw. He sighed. “I want to believe you.”

Jennifer looked up at him.

“But?” she prompted.

Jalen looked at her with his expression raw. “But I don’t know if I can trust you not to push me away again.”

She flinched again. The words seemed to hit her like a gut punch.

“I won’t,” she said quickly, stepping toward him. “I swear, I—”

Jalen held up a hand, stopping her. “Don’t make promises you aren’t sure you can keep,” he said gently. “Not to me.”

Jennifer shut her mouth. Jalen sighed again, softer this time. His fingers pinched the bridge of his nose, as if trying to think. Finally, he dropped his hand and looked back at her.

“I’m not ready yet, Jennifer. I’m not ready to trust you again. Not today.”

Jennifer nodded. Jalen knew that was painful for her to hear. But it was the truth.

“ ... Okay,” she said softly.

Jalen nodded slightly. “I appreciate you coming here, and I hear you. But this ... may take some time, and honestly, I can’t promise I’ll ever be able to let this go.”

Jennifer swallowed against the lump in her throat. “I understand.”

Silence stretched between them again.

“ ... Will you let me know if you’re ready to talk again?” she asked, voice small.

Jalen hesitated, then gave a single nod. “Yeah.”

Jennifer nodded too, then slowly walked toward the door. He knew she didn’t want to go, but he needed her to go. If there was any hope of him healing from this then she couldn’t be around right now.

She reached for the handle, then paused. She turned back.

“For what it’s worth,” she said softly, “You’re the only person who has ever made me feel completely safe to be both versions of myself. I will always appreciate you for that. And ... I really hope you can trust me again one day.”

Jalen met her gaze. He said nothing.

Jennifer nodded once, then turned and walked out the door. Jalen stood there for a long time after she left, thinking.

Jennifer got in her car, and it took everything she had to fight off tears. She felt so horrible.

She gripped the steering wheel tightly with her perfectly manicured red nails pressing into the leather as she fought against the sting in her eyes.

She took a shaky breath and exhaled slowly, trying to steady the storm of emotions raging inside her.

Jalen had every right to be guarded with her now. He had every right to question her intentions and hesitate before letting her back in, and yet ... it still hurt.

She turned the key in the ignition but made no move to shift gears. Instead, she just sat there, staring blankly ahead, the lump in her throat growing tighter by the second.

She had spent her whole life running. Running from love, from vulnerability, from any situation where she wasn’t in complete control. Jalen had been the one man who saw through her and made her feel like she didn’t have to run, and then she had run anyway.

Jennifer shut her eyes and pressed the heels of her hands against them, trying to will herself not to break down.

Not here. Not now ... but the pain was real. The weight of regret sat heavy in her chest. She didn’t know if Jalen would ever fully forgive her or truly trust her again.

That Sunday night, Jennifer did her usual performance as Jessica Robinson at the Ice and Flame Club.

She was noticeably more subdued in her performance. Despite this, she was still undeniably stunning as usual. She wore another strapless sparkling gown, bright pink this time. It hugged her curves and had long splits to show off her toned legs.

She had her usual complement of flawless makeup, including her signature purple eye shadow and red lipstick. She completed her look with a pair of sparkling pink patent leather pointed-toe high heels.

The audience, of course, had no idea where her head was truly at. She sang her song with as much enthusiasm as she could, but her feelings were bordering on despair.

She was about halfway through her song when her eyes scanned the back of the room, and they landed on a broad-shouldered black man...

JALEN.

He was there. He was actually sitting there watching her, looking as fine as ever in a dark grey blazer, white buttoned-down shirt, matching grey slacks and black dress shoes. His silver watch reflected from the lights, and he had a fresh haircut.

Jennifer never in a million years would have thought he’d come tonight given everything that’s happened and how much she’d hurt him.

The second she saw him, her breath caught in her throat. She almost missed a lyric in the middle of her song, something that had never happened before.