Chapter 10

Jalen sent a direct message to Rachel.

Jalen: “Hey. Just checking in. I’m still here for you. I hope you’re okay.”

Rachel saw the message but didn’t respond right away. She and Jalen hadn’t spoken since the morning after their encounter at the gym, which was several weeks ago. Rachel stared at her phone, her thumb hovering over Jalen’s message. She hadn’t spoken to anyone about what happened. She’d barely even spoken to Trevor, who had repeatedly asked her what was going on with her, to which she replied that she was just busy. Despite all that, she had thought about what happened every single day. She thought avoiding Jalen would help. She thought burying herself in work would keep her mind off of it. She thought pretending like it never happened would somehow make it all go away, but it hadn’t because it did happen. Now, to add another layer to this complicated mess, she was late on her period.

Rachel closed her eyes, exhaling sharply. She had been so caught up in the fact that she had cheated on Trevor that she completely forgot to consider that maybe she should’ve gotten a plan B after that night with Jalen. She foolishly told him to cum inside of her, knowing good and well she wasn’t on any kind of birth control, and now she was possibly facing serious consequences.

She hadn’t told Trevor. She hadn’t taken a test. She hadn’t even said the words out loud, and now Jalen was reaching out, checking on her. She should’ve ignored it. She should have just pretended she didn’t see it. She should do anything other than what she was about to do. Her fingers started moving.

Rachel: “Hey. I’m okay. Just ... a lot on my mind. Thanks for checking in.”

She hit send before she could talk herself out of it, and then she waited. Jalen responded a few minutes later.

Jalen: “I miss you, but I know you probably still need space. Just know that I meant everything I said before.”

Rachel stared at Jalen’s response, her heart hammering against her ribs.

“I miss you”.

God, those three words hit her so much harder than they should because the truth was she missed him too. She missed the way he made her feel, the way he looked at her, the way he listened, really listened, to her, but she also knew that missing him didn’t change what happened. She cheated on Trevor, she might be pregnant, and Jalen was the last person she should’ve been thinking about at that moment.

Rachel closed her eyes, running a hand through her hair. She couldn’t say it back. She wanted to. God, she wanted to, but if she did there was no coming back from it and she wasn’t sure she was ready to go down that path. Her fingers hovered over the keyboard and she typed. She erased it and typed again. After typing and erasing several times, she finally sent a response to Jalen.

Rachel: “I just ... I don’t know what to say.”

Right now, that was the only truth she could give him.

She continued to sit on her couch, staring at her phone. She went to her contact favorites and saw Trevor’s name stare back at her. She knew what she had to do. He deserved the truth. He didn’t deserve to be lied to or strung along. He didn’t deserve to be in a relationship with someone who gave her body to another man and who let herself fall for someone else. She inhaled sharply and pressed ‘Call’. It rang. Once. Twice. Then an answer.

“Hey, babe,” Trevor answered, sounding as if he had run to answer his phone. “How are you? Talk to me.”

Rachel closed her eyes, her stomach in knots. “Can we talk?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Of course ... yeah? Are you okay? It feels like you’ve been kind of avoiding me lately.”

“No. Nothing is okay, and after this, it never will be again.” She thought miserably.

Her hands were shaking, but it was time. Rachel gripped her phone tightly, swallowing past the lump in her throat. “No,” she said, her voice small but firm. “Everything’s not okay.”

Trevor was quiet for a moment. Then, “What do you mean?” His voiced laced with concern.

“Can I come over?” she asked.

This wasn’t a conversation she could have over the phone.

Trevor exhaled. “Of course. I’ll see you soon?”

“Yeah.”

Rachel ended the call, her hands trembling. This was it. No more hiding. No more lying. No more running. She grabbed her keys, threw on a hoodie over her t-shirt, and headed out.

Rachel stood outside of Trevor’s door, her heart pounding. Her palms were sweaty, and her stomach was twisting violently. She raised a fist and knocked. Trevor answered almost immediately, like he was waiting by the door. His face was etched with worry, his dark eyes scanning her.

“Rachel ... what’s going on?” He asked, sounding very concerned.

Rachel stepped inside, her chest tight.

She didn’t sit or take off her shoes. She just looked at him, this man who had been nothing but good to her and whose heart she was about to break in the worst way.

“I need you to let me say everything before you respond.” Rachel’s voice shook, but she powered through.

Trevor’s brows furrowed, but he nodded.

Rachel took a deep breath. “I cheated on you.”

His entire body stiffened. His jaw tightened. She kept going before she lost her nerve.

“It wasn’t planned. It wasn’t something I ever thought I would do, but it happened, and I can’t take it back, and I won’t lie to you about it.”

Trevor was stone still. Rachel forced herself to keep going.

“I met someone ... I first saw him at one of your games a little over a month ago. I didn’t mean to notice him, but I did, and then I saw him play again, and ... I don’t know, Trevor, something about him just—” she choked on her words, shaking her head. “I was drawn to him. I tried to ignore it, I did, but then work sent me to do a story on the league, and I had to talk to him, and I thought I could keep it professional; I really did, but then...”

She looked away, ashamed. “One night, we played one-on-one, and afterwards I let something happen that should have never happened.”

Silence.

Rachel finally looked at him, her vision blurry. “I won’t make excuses. I did this, and I am so, so sorry, Trevor.”

Trevor just stared at her. His eyes darkened. His hands ball into fists. Then he finally spoke.

“It was Jalen Moss, wasn’t it?”

Rachel’s stomach dropped. “Trevor—”

“Wasn’t it?” His voice was eerily calm, but his knuckles were white.

She hesitated, then whispered, “Yes.”

Trevor’s eyes flashed with anger. He laughed, but there was no humor. “The guy you said it was just work?”

Rachel nodded slowly, feeling sick. Trevor’s expression hardened.

He shook his head, stepping away from her, running a hand through his hair. “Are you in love with him?”

Rachel didn’t answer because she didn’t know how to lie to him anymore, and her silence was all the answer Trevor needed.

“I was wondering why you’ve been so distant lately.” Trevor said darkly. “I had a bad feeling about that Jalen dude when you told me about him. You told me that it was strictly professional, remember? That I had nothing to worry about, but you lied to me.”

Rachel closed her eyes briefly, guilt tightening in her chest. “I know,” she whispered. “I did lie, and I hate that I did.”

Trevor let out a sharp breath, shaking his head.

“I asked you straight up if I had something to worry about, and you looked me in the face and told me no,” he said, his voice low but tight with emotion.

Rachel nodded, swallowing hard. “I didn’t mean for this to happen, Trevor. I swear I didn’t, but I take full responsibility for it. I should’ve been honest with you when I felt things shifting inside me. I should’ve told you the truth instead of trying to pretend it wasn’t happening.”

Trevor laughed bitterly, rubbing a hand down his face. “So, what now, huh?” he asked. “You come here, tell me all this, and what? You expect me to just forgive you?”

Rachel shook her head quickly. “No. No, Trevor. I don’t expect that at all. I didn’t come here for forgiveness. I came here because you deserved to know the truth, and because...” she paused, voice breaking, “I respect you too much to keep lying to you.”

Trevor stared at her for a long moment, his jaw tight, his breathing slow and measured.

“So that’s it, huh?” he said finally. “You’re choosing him.”

Rachel hesitated. “I don’t know what I’m choosing, Trevor, but I know that this...” she gestured between them, her eyes stinging, “ ... is over.”

Trevor nodded slowly, his face unreadable.

“Yeah,” he said, his voice hollow. “It definitely is.”

Silence fell between them. It was heavy and suffocating.

Then Trevor finally said, “I need you to go. Now. Don’t call me. Ever. I don’t ever want to see your face or hear your voice again.”

Rachel nodded, fighting the tears threatening to fall. “Okay.” She turned toward the door but stopped, looking back at him one last time. “I really am sorry, Trevor.”

He didn’t respond. He just stared at the floor, jaw clenched. Rachel left quietly, shutting the door behind her. She stepped into the hallway, made her way out of the apartment and into her car. She got into the driver seat and closed the door.

Then the weight of everything finally crashed down on her and she sobbed. Rachel’s hands were gripping the steering wheel, her body shaking as the tears kept flooding out. Everything hurt. She knew this conversation would be painful, but she didn’t expect it to feel like this. Like a piece of her life was ripped away in the worst way possible. Trevor had been good to her. Maybe not always perfect or as present as she wanted, but he had never hurt her. He didn’t deserve this, and yet ... the moment she had looked him in the eye and told him the truth, it was like a weight lifted off her chest. She was free, but that freedom came with a heavy price.

Rachel pressed her forehead against the steering wheel, her breaths shaky and uneven. She felt so lost, guilty, and confused. Did she really just throw away a good man for a guy she barely knew, or had she just admitted something to herself that she had been trying to deny for weeks? She didn’t know. She didn’t know anything right now.

Rachel sat there for nearly an hour, letting it all out. When the tears finally slowed, and her chest no longer felt like it was about to cave in, she pulled out her phone. She hesitated. Then, she typed out a message.

She stared at the screen. Then, finally, she pressed ‘Send’.

Rachel: “Hey. I need to see you.”

About fifteen minutes later, Rachel pulled into her parking lot, her eyes still puffy, her body exhausted from all the crying. As she turned off her car, she spotted him.

Jalen, leaning against his truck, was waiting for her. Her breath caught in her throat. For a moment, she didn’t move. She just watched him, her heart hammering in her chest. She still felt raw from everything with Trevor. The weight of it hadn’t left her yet, but she needed to see Jalen. She needed to hear his voice, to feel something other than guilt and heartbreak. So, she grabbed her keys, opened the door, and stepped out. Jalen pushed off his truck, his expression unreadable, his eyes locked on hers as she approached. Neither of them spoke right away.

Then... “You okay?” he asked, his voice low, gentle.

Rachel let out a bitter laugh, shaking her head. “No.”

Jalen nodded slowly, like he expected that. “You wanna talk about it?” he asked.

Rachel hesitated. She didn’t even know where to start, but she didn’t want to be out here, standing in the cold night air, trying to figure it out.

“Come inside,” she said instead.

Jalen didn’t hesitate. He followed her upstairs, into her apartment and into her world. As soon as the door clicked shut behind them, Rachel let out a shaky breath, because for the first time all night, she felt like she could finally breathe again. She sat on the couch, her hands clasped tightly together, her mind racing as she tried to make sense of it all.

Jalen sat across from her, silent, just watching her process.

“I told Trevor everything,” she finally said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Jalen exhaled, nodding slowly, letting her take her time. “And?” he asked.

Rachel swallowed hard, her fingernails digging into her palm. “And it’s over,” she whispered.

Jalen didn’t react right away. He just nodded, letting the weight of her words settle in the air between them.

Rachel looked away, her chest tightening. “I feel like shit for betraying him,” she admitted. “He didn’t deserve it. He was a good guy, and I should’ve handled things differently.”

Jalen nodded again because he knew there was nothing he could say to take that guilt away, but then, Rachel met his eyes again, her expression conflicted, almost tortured.

“But the crazy thing is...” she whispered, shaking her head, “ ... I don’t regret what happened with us. Not at all, and I hate that. It doesn’t make sense.”

Jalen watched her carefully, taking in her every word, her every expression. “Why does it have to make sense?” he finally said.

Rachel blinked, caught off guard. “Because ... because it should! It should make sense!” she exclaimed, frustrated. “I should either regret everything, or I should feel good about it! But instead, I feel guilty and relieved at the same time! I feel sick for hurting Trevor, but I also—”

She cut herself off, squeezing her eyes shut, her hands clenching into fists.

Jalen leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. “But you also what?” he asked gently.

Rachel inhaled sharply, then looked at him, really looked at him before saying, “But I also feel like I finally did something for me,” she admitted, her voice raw. “Something that I wanted. Not something that made sense to other people or was ‘right’ on paper. Just something that felt ... real.”

Jalen nodded again, his gaze softening. “Then maybe that’s your answer,” he said simply.

Rachel stared at him, her heart pounding. Maybe he was right. Maybe this was never about logic. Maybe this was about finally listening to herself for once. Jalen exhaled slowly, feeling the familiar weight settle in his chest. Rachel was staring at him, still lost in the whirlwind of her emotions, and it made his stomach tighten, because he knew what he had to say next was going to change everything between them.

“Rachel...” Jalen started carefully, his voice low and measured.

She blinked, snapping out of her thoughts, her brows knitting together at his tone.

“There’s something I need to tell you.” He continued.