Chapter 10

DM from Jalen to Rachel:

“Hey. Just checking in. I’m still here for you. I hope you’re okay.”

Rachel and Jalen haven’t spoken since the morning after their encounter at the gym. Rachel stares at her phone, her thumb hovering over Jalen’s message. She hasn’t spoken to him since that morning. She hasn’t spoken to anyone about what happened. She’s barely even spoken to Trevor, who’s repeatedly asked her what’s going on with her, to which she replies that she’s just busy. Despite all that, she’s thought about what happened every single day. She thought avoiding Jalen would help. She thought burying herself in work would keep her mind off of it. She thought pretending like it never happened would somehow make it all go away. But it hasn’t. Because it did happen. And now, she’s late. Rachel closes her eyes, exhaling sharply. She had been so caught up in the fact that she cheated on Trevor that she forgot to consider that maybe she should’ve gotten a plan B after that night with Jalen. She foolishly told him to cum inside of her, knowing she wasn’t on any kind of birth control. And now? Now she may be facing serious consequences.

She hasn’t told Trevor. She hasn’t taken a test. She hasn’t even said the words out loud. And now Jalen is reaching out, checking on her. She should ignore it. She should just pretend she didn’t see it. She should do anything other than what she’s about to do. Her fingers start moving.

Rachel → Jalen: “Hey. I’m okay. Just ... a lot on my mind. Thanks for checking in.”

She hits send before she can talk herself out of it. And then she waits. Jalen responded a few minutes later: “I miss you. But I know you probably still need space. Just know that I meant everything I said before.”

Rachel stares at Jalen’s response, her heart hammering against her ribs.

“I miss you.”

God, those three words hit her so much harder than they should. Because the truth is? She misses him too. She misses the way he made her feel. She misses the way he looked at her. She misses the way he listened, really listened, to her. But she also knows that missing him doesn’t change what happened. She cheated on Trevor. She might be pregnant. And Jalen? Jalen is the last person she should be thinking about right now. Rachel closes her eyes, running a hand through her hair. She can’t say it back. She wants to. God, she wants to, but if she does there’s no coming back from it. Her fingers hover over the keyboard and she types. She erases it and types again. Rachel finally sends a response to Jalen: “I just ... I don’t know what to say.”

Send. Because right now that’s the only truth she can give him.

Rachel continues to sit on her couch, staring at her phone. Trevor’s contact stares back at her. She knows what she has to do. He deserves the truth. He doesn’t deserve to be lied to. He doesn’t deserve to be strung along. He doesn’t deserve to be in a relationship with someone who gave her body to another man. Someone who let herself fall for someone else. She inhales sharply and presses Call. It rings. Once. Twice.

“Hey, babe,” Trevor answers, his voice casual, unaware. “What’s up?”

Rachel closes her eyes, her stomach in knots. “Can we talk?” she asks, her voice barely above a whisper.

A beat of silence.

“Uh ... yeah? Is everything okay?”

No. Nothing is okay. And after this? It never will be again.

“Can I come over?” she asks.

Because this isn’t a conversation she can have over the phone.

Trevor exhales. “Yeah, of course. I’ll see you soon?”

“Yeah.”

Her hands are shaking. But it’s time. Rachel grips her phone tightly, swallowing past the lump in her throat. “No,” she says, her voice small but firm. “Everything’s not okay.”

Trevor is quiet for a moment. Then, “What do you mean?” His tone shifts, laced with concern.

Rachel inhales deeply. “I need to see you. In person. Can I come over?”

Another pause. Then... “Yeah. Of course. I’ll be here.”

Rachel ends the call, her hands trembling. This is it. No more hiding. No more lying. No more running. She grabs her keys, throws on a hoodie over her t-shirt, and heads out. Rachel stands outside his door, her heart pounding. Her palms are sweaty. Her stomach twists violently. She raises a fist and knocks. Trevor answers almost immediately, like he was waiting by the door. His face is etched with worry, his dark eyes scanning her.

“Rachel ... what’s going on?” Rachel steps inside, her chest tight.

She doesn’t sit. She doesn’t take off her shoes. She just looks at him, this man who has been nothing but good to her and knows she’s about to break his heart.

“I need you to let me say everything before you respond.” Her voice shakes, but she powers through.

Trevor’s brows furrow, but he nods.

Rachel takes a deep breath. “I cheated on you.”

His entire body stiffens. His jaw tightens. She keeps going before she loses her nerve.

“It wasn’t planned. It wasn’t something I ever thought I would do. But it happened. And I can’t take it back. And I won’t lie to you about it.”

Trevor is stone still. Rachel forces herself to keep going.

“I met someone ... at your game a few weeks ago. I didn’t mean to notice him, but I did. And then I saw him play again. And I don’t know, Trevor, something about him just—” she chokes on her words, shaking her head. “I was drawn to him. I tried to ignore it, I did. But then work sent me to do a story on the league, and I had to talk to him, and I thought I could keep it professional; I really did. But then...”

She looks away, ashamed. “One night, we played one-on-one. And I lost. And I let something happen that should have never happened.”

Silence.

Rachel finally looks at him, her vision blurry. “I won’t make excuses. I did this. And I am so, so sorry, Trevor.”

Trevor just stares at her. His eyes darken. His hands ball into fists. Then... “Who?”

Rachel’s stomach drops. “Trevor—”

“Who was it?” His voice is eerily calm, but his knuckles are white.

She hesitates, then whispers: “Jalen Moss.”

Trevor’s eyes flash with recognition. Then anger. He laughs, but there’s no humor. “The dude from the Ballers? The one who was all over your story?”

Rachel nods slowly, feeling sick. Trevor’s expression hardens.

He shakes his head, stepping away from her, running a hand through his hair. “Are you in love with him?”

Rachel doesn’t answer. Because she doesn’t know how to lie to him anymore. And her silence is all the answer Trevor needs.

“I was wondering why you’ve been so distant lately.” Trevor says darkly. “I had a bad feeling about that Jalen dude when you told me about him. You told me that it was strictly professional, remember? That I had nothing to worry about, but you lied to me.”

Rachel closes her eyes briefly, guilt tightening in her chest. “I know,” she whispers. “I did lie. And I hate that I did.”

Trevor lets out a sharp breath, shaking his head.

“I asked you straight up if I had something to worry about, and you looked me in the face and told me no,” he says, his voice low but tight with emotion.

Rachel nods, swallowing hard. “I didn’t mean for this to happen, Trevor. I swear I didn’t. But I take full responsibility for it. I should’ve been honest with you when I felt things shifting inside me. I should’ve told you the truth instead of trying to pretend it wasn’t happening.”

Trevor laughs bitterly, rubbing a hand down his face. “So, what now, huh?” he asks. “You come here, tell me all this, and what? You expect me to just forgive you?”

Rachel shakes her head quickly. “No. No, Trevor. I don’t expect that at all. I didn’t come here for forgiveness. I came here because you deserve to know the truth. And because...” she pauses, voice breaking, “I respect you too much to keep lying to you.”

Trevor stares at her for a long moment, his jaw tight, his breathing slow and measured.

“So that’s it, huh?” he says finally. “You’re choosing him.”

Rachel hesitates. “I don’t know what I’m choosing, Trevor. But I know that this...” she gestures between them, her eyes stinging, “ ... is over.”

Trevor nods slowly, his face unreadable.

“Yeah,” he says, his voice hollow. “It definitely is.”

Silence falls between them, heavy and suffocating.

Then he finally says, “I need you to go. Now. Don’t call me. Ever. I don’t ever want to see your face or hear your voice again.”

Rachel nods, fighting the tears threatening to fall. “Okay.” She turns toward the door but stops, looking back at him one last time. “I really am sorry, Trevor.”

He doesn’t respond. He just stares at the floor, jaw clenched. Rachel leaves quietly, shutting the door behind her. She steps into the hallway, makes her way out of the apartment and into her car, gets into the driver seat and closes the door. Then the weight of everything finally crashes down on her and she sobs. Rachel hands are gripping the steering wheel, her body shaking as the tears keep come flooding out. Everything hurts. She knew this conversation would be painful, but she didn’t expect it to feel like this. Like a piece of her life was ripped away in the worst way possible. Trevor had been good to her. Maybe not always perfect, maybe not always as present as she wanted, but he had never hurt her. He didn’t deserve this. And yet ... the moment she looked him in the eye and told him the truth, it was like a weight lifted off her chest. She was free. But that freedom came with a heavy price. Rachel presses her forehead against the steering wheel, her breaths shaky and uneven. She feels so lost, so guilty, so confused. Did she really just throw away a good man for a guy she barely knows? Or had she just admitted something to herself that she had been trying to deny for weeks? She doesn’t know. She doesn’t know anything right now. Rachel sits there for nearly an hour, letting it all out.

And when the tears finally slow, and her chest no longer feels like it’s about to cave in, she pulls out her phone. She hesitates. Then, she types out a message.

“Hey. I need to see you.”

She stares at the screen. Then, finally, she presses Send.

About fifteen minutes later, Rachel pulls into her parking lot, her eyes still puffy, her body exhausted from all the crying. As she turns off her car, she spots him. Jalen, leaning against his own car, is waiting for her. Her breath catches in her throat. For a moment, she doesn’t move. She just watches him, her heart hammering in her chest. She still feels raw from everything with Trevor. The weight of it hasn’t left her yet, but she needs to see Jalen. She needs to hear his voice, to feel something other than guilt and heartbreak. So, she grabs her keys, opens the door, and steps out. Jalen pushes off his car, his expression unreadable, his eyes locked on hers as she approaches. Neither of them speaks right away.

Then... “You okay?” he asks, his voice low, gentle.

Rachel lets out a bitter laugh, shaking her head. “No.”

Jalen nods slowly, like he expected that. “You wanna talk about it?” he asks.

Rachel hesitates. She doesn’t even know where to start. But she doesn’t want to be out here, standing in the cold night air, trying to figure it out. “Come inside,” she says instead.

Jalen doesn’t hesitate. He follows her upstairs, into her apartment and into her world. As soon as the door clicks shut behind them, Rachel lets out a shaky breath, because for the first time all night, she feels like she can finally breathe again. She sits on the couch, her hands clasped tightly together, her mind racing as she tries to make sense of it all.

Jalen sits across from her, silent, just watching her process.

“I told Trevor everything,” she finally says, her voice barely above a whisper.

Jalen exhales, nodding slowly, letting her take her time. “And?” he asks.

Rachel swallows hard, her fingernails digging into her palm. “And it’s over,” she whispers.

Jalen doesn’t react right away. He just nods, letting the weight of her words settle in the air between them.

Rachel looks away, her chest tightening. “I feel like shit for betraying him,” she admits. “He didn’t deserve it. He was a good guy. And I should’ve handled things differently.”

Jalen nods again, because he knows there’s nothing he can say to take that guilt away, but then, Rachel meets his eyes again, her expression conflicted, almost tortured.

“But the crazy thing is...” she whispers, shaking her head, “ ... I don’t regret what happened with us. Not at all. And I hate that. It doesn’t make sense.”

Jalen watches her carefully, taking in her every word, her every expression. “Why does it have to make sense?” he finally says.

Rachel blinks, caught off guard. “Because ... because it should! It should make sense!” she exclaims, frustrated. “I should either regret everything, or I should feel good about it! But instead, I feel guilty and relieved at the same time! I feel sick for hurting Trevor, but I also—”

She cuts herself off, squeezing her eyes shut, her hands clenching into fists.

Jalen leans forward, his elbows resting on his knees. “But you also what?” he asks gently.

Rachel inhales sharply, then looks at him, really looks at him before saying, “But I also feel like I finally did something for me,” she admits, her voice raw. “Something that I wanted. Not something that made sense to other people. Not something that was ‘right’ on paper. Just something that felt ... real.”

Jalen nods again, his gaze softening. “Then maybe that’s your answer,” he says simply.

Rachel stares at him, her heart pounding. Maybe he’s right. Maybe this was never about logic. Maybe this was about finally listening to herself for once. Jalen exhales slowly, feeling the familiar weight settle in his chest. Rachel is staring at him, still lost in the whirlwind of her emotions, and it makes his stomach tighten, because he knows what he has to say next is going to change everything between them.

“Rachel...” Jalen starts carefully, his voice low and measured.

She blinks, snapping out of her thoughts, her brows knitting together at his tone.

“There’s something I need to tell you.” He continues.

Rachel tilts her head, the exhaustion in her eyes briefly replaced by wariness.

“Okay...?” she says slowly.

Jalen runs a hand over his face, trying to find the right words, but there’s no easy way to say this. “I haven’t exactly been ... alone in all of this,” he admits.

Rachel straightens slightly, her entire posture going rigid. “What do you mean?”

Jalen holds her gaze, knowing he can’t back out now. “There are ... other women,” he says, his voice even, but heavy. “And it’s not just casual. It’s ... complicated.”