Chapter 13: Thanksgiving

Shirley and Kitty appeared at about 8 o’clock with bags of groceries. They planned about eight hours of cooking time so they could serve around 4. Lou tried to assist, but she was waved off.

“Go play with Danny. With the warm weather these last few days, you can put him in the stroller and go for a walk without slipping on ice. Take with you that guy you’ve been fucking...”

“KITTY!”

Lou froze, shocked and scandalized. Worse, Scott walked in then almost colliding with her butt. He pointed an accusing finger.

“What guy, Lou? Is he better than me?”

Louise wailed and buried her face in her hands. Kitty came to the rescue.

“We’re talking about you, Scott, nobody else. Lou was dancing, humming, and grinning. We had to ask her, ‘Why?’ She blistered our ears telling us how exceptional you are in the...”

“Kitty, ENOUGH!” Lou was bright red and about to explode, but Scott took it all in good humor.

“Lou, if I’m making you happy, that’s a GOOD thing. Kitty and Shirley are still in new relationships. They enjoy hearing that we still love each other after five years of marriage. It’s something to be proud of. It’s not shameful. Not at all.”

Lou looked up into Scott’s face with wet eyes.

Querulous: “Still?”

“Still.” Scott spoke decisively.

Shirley spoke for the first time.

“Why don’t you take her back to the bedroom? Just lock the door and help her relax.” She implied what he should be doing with her.

“We’re taking care of everything except feeding your son. Dinner’s at four, Scott.”

He chuckled and nodded, conveying his appreciation.

“C’mon, Dear, let’s get you off your feet.”

He cuddled with her and led her away to the bedroom.

“I’ll put a glass up against their door so I can hear them,” Kitty threatened.

“I don’t understand.”

“You know the hose the doctor uses to listen to your heart? A glass works like that.”

“Now I’m in a bad spot. I need to tell my employer she’s a brat and a pervert. Does Allen know you’re like this? Is he not meeting your needs?”

“He knows, and he does. I just say outrageous things; it’s a bad habit, but he encourages me.”

“As long as your relationship is strong, it’s whatever floats your boat, I guess. Allen’s such a great guy; he’s just one step below my Dennis. I hope you have a long and joyful life together.”

“I’m sure we will; the same for you and your deputy. Listen, I want to start on the pies while you begin the dressing. We’ll take care of the bird together.

In the afternoon when they all gathered around the table, Allen led a toast.

“Once upon a time, there was a big fire next to my house. Since then, there have been some ups and downs, but we’ve come out afterwards with love, companionship, and s.e.x.” Chuckles and giggles broke out. “I know that all of us are deeply thankful for our homes and partners for many years to come. To love!”

All smiling, they raised their glasses.

“Now, I have an announcement. Kitty and I have discussed it, and we’ve decided to make changes at the diner. In our office there, we’re going to install a crib for Danny, so Lou can go back to work in the kitchen. We’re going to hire a couple of high school girls to help her, so we can get rid of Shirley.”

Shirley was mystified and frightened, while Dennis was bristling.

“We’re making these arrangements so we can keep the diner open while Shirley and Dennis are enjoying their three-week honeymoon in Hawaii.”

Shirley was suddenly woozy, her mouth gaping. Next to her, Dennis deflated and sagged back into his chair.

“But, but, you can’t!” Shirley wasn’t believing her ears.

“Sure we can. Kitty and I have put aside the money; you just need to give us your dates.”

“We can’t let you do that,” said Dennis.

“What you can’t do, Deputy, is refuse the gift. Shirley, from the moment I met you, I’ve been impressed. I want you to have the chance for happiness that I have with, uh, what was your name again?”

“Fuck you, Allen,” Kitty smiled. “Dennis, I have four words for you: two-piece bathing suit. Shirley, your words are: eighty-degree temperatures while lying on the beach. I think I’ve made my point.”

The party was breaking up. Lou excused herself to feed Danny while the rest of them gobbled generous slices of pie. When she returned, Kitty had a question.

“What time do you want me back in the morning to wash dishes and clean up?”

“November 30th, 1999. You’re not cleaning all this up. Not a chance. I’ll bolt the goddamned door if I have to. Kitty, you do too much for me—for all of us. Just stay home tomorrow and play with old ‘what’s his name.’”

Lou returned Allen’s dig at Kitty. Meanwhile, Dennis was looking into his lap, ruefully.

“Between Shirley’s cooking and tonight’s huge meal, I won’t fit behind the steering wheel of my patrol car.”