Chapter 10: Kitty’s Mountain Café

Kitty’s sexy memories of her honeymoon (in Cuba and Jamaica) occupied her while she rested behind the counter during a slow time for the diner. Her reverie was interrupted when a disheveled man walked up pointing a pistol in her face.

“All the cash in the register, bitch!”

“OK, OK!”

She rang “No Sale” and started scooping out fives and tens from the small cups in the cash drawer.

“Underneath! I want the twenties, too. Hurry up!”

Kitty made a subtle motion with her foot, kicking a special button embedded in the molding under the counter. It was a billiard-ball-sized electrical pressure switch that rang a quiet little buzzer in the diner’s back office. She knew that Allen was there, as usual.

Also in the office was Allen’s long-barreled revolver. It was the same gun he threatened Carlo Rossetti with, back in his living room months ago. Silently, Allen unlatched the office door and slipped out, easing out far enough to where he had a view of Kitty and the robber.

“That’s all of it. Get on the floor, and don’t move for five minutes. I’ll be watching before I leave.”

Allen watched Kitty go to her knees and lie prone in the narrow floor space behind the counter. When the bad guy turned and put his hand on the front door’s handle, Allen shouted.

“FREEZE, or DIE!”

Stupidly, the fool turned and shot wildly at Allen’s voice. The slug hit the wall well away from him, and Allen returned fire. At this range, Allen wasn’t going to miss, and he didn’t. Stupidly, the guy looked down at his rapidly reddening shirt, muttered, “Blood?” and then dropped to the floor, face first.

“Kitty, sweetie, it’s over; you can get back up.”

She flew into his arms, and he comforted her.

“It’s all right; you did fine. Why don’t you go sit in a booth? I’ll fix the sign and bring you some coffee.”

“The sign?”

“Flip it from OPEN to CLOSED, Kitty. Just take it easy.”

“No, I’ll get my coffee; you go in the office and call the sheriff.”

Later, when Deputy York showed up, he took Allen aside.

“The ambulance is on the way to take the body. If he had survived, I would have needed to take your gun into evidence. It’s just as well. I need to caution you. I know that dead guy; he was caught with some other guys in an organized robbery, but a lawyer got him released on bail, and then he jumped his bond. So he had a bench warrant and a bounty hunter on his tail.

“And his friends got a suspended sentence and might be coming here for revenge, to the diner, Mr. Lewis. You might want that gun of yours again, I’m sorry to say. I’ll try to pay more attention to your business, but you remember that I’m about the only resource our office has available for Cedar Grove.”

“Thanks for the heads-up, Deputy York. I know I shouldn’t offer you full meals, but you know we will always have coffee for you here, on the house.”

“Appreciate it. Say, is that Shirley LeConte back there banging your pots around?”

“It certainly is. You know her?”

“I do, from school days.”

“Should I tell her she has a gentleman caller? She has time; after all, there aren’t any customers since we have a dead body blocking the front door.”

“Maybe it’s not the best time...”

“No, definitely it’s the best time. I’ll tell her to come out.”

“Dennis? Dennis York? I haven’t seen you in ages. What can I do for you?”

“Um, maybe we can go back to the kitchen and get away from the dead guy?”

“Oh, I guess.”

“Now that we’re back here, what did you want to know?”

“Shirley, I don’t mean to surprise you, but I saw you here and remembered how much I wanted to go out with you when we were in school.”

“Let me get this straight, Deputy York. You’re here with a dead body, I’m standing here in a greasy apron, a net over my hair, and a sweaty face without makeup, and this makes you come back into the kitchen and ask me out?”

“Exactly. Can I take you to dinner? Right now, I think you’re still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

“You’re either crazy or lying.”

“No, I’m telling the truth. I will admit the hairnet isn’t very fashionable. Please have dinner with me.”

“But you’re a deputy, and I, well, I was...”

“Stop. I know about Carlo Rossetti. I truly don’t care about any of that. I want to see Shirley LeConte, the hard-working chef at Kitty’s Mountain Café.”

“Now I’m sure that you’re crazy. Don’t call me a chef; I’m only a cook, and sometimes I babysit for Louise and Scott O’Malley.”

“Really? Maybe I can babysit with you.”

“Dennis, stop! But we can’t go out to dinner together.”

“You’re saying no?” She felt his self-confidence start to erode, so she put her hand on his arm.

“Besides here, sweetie, the only other place to eat in Cedar Grove is the Chow Hound, and we can’t begin a relationship with dysentery.”

“Dysentery? What’s that?”

“They don’t teach that in deputy school? Let me put it this way: what should come out as a solid starts coming out frequently as a liquid. That’s all I can explain while standing in a kitchen.”

He put his hand over his face.

“Please. No more, I get it. Wait, you said, ‘relationship’?”

“A gal can dream, Deputy. So we can’t go to a restaurant, and it would be weird to date you at Kitty’s.”

“Oh, this is terrible. What can I do?”

“Dennis, I have a little cottage behind this diner. If you agree to wash up afterwards, will you come to my place and eat my cooking?”

“Really?” He actually squeaked.

She answered him by reaching behind his neck and pulling him down for a sweet kiss.

“Now take your cute little backside out front and do your deputy stuff. I’ll see you tomorrow night at 7 o’clock.”

Kitty quickly stepped away from her spot behind the counter, where she was watching the two of them surreptitiously.

“You OK, Deputy?” Kitty asked. “You look distracted.”

“I’m fine. When there’s a shooting, I have a lot of paperwork, even in a case like this one.”

In spite of today’s violence, Kitty was thrilled by Shirley’s apparent romantic possibilities. Meanwhile, York was dealing with removing the body. Afterwards, Kitty scowled from seeing the bloodstain on her diner’s linoleum floor.

“May I come in, Miss LeConte?”

“Only if you call me Shirley from now on instead of Miss. Promise?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She crossed her arms and scowled.

“What did I just say to you?”

“My apologies, Shirley. Won’t happen again.”

“Better not. This ain’t no whorehouse, and I’m no madam. Understand?”

“Got it.”

“It’s too small for that. Only room for one guy at a time. Just one bedroom. My, Dennis, your face is a lovely shade of pink. May I take your coat?”

“Please,” he choked out, stunned by her comments. When she returned, he tried for a safer subject, so he asked her about the menu.

“Well, I had a lot of ideas, but I decided to make something pretty conventional. Oh, and I went over and begged Kitty for a bottle of wine. I’m sorry, I just realized, can you drink before you go on duty next?”

“I can have a modest amount. I go back to work at 10 a.m., and I don’t want to be hung over.”

The word “hung” flitted through her mind and distracted her for a moment.

“I will find out about that tonight,” she thought, considering her plans for him.

“What’s wrong, Shirley? You went away for a minute.”

“Sorry, I was thinking about the wine.”

“So, what is it we are having to eat?”

“It’s my version of classic chicken pot pie, Dennis.” Joking, “I plucked the carrots myself. You’re going to love it.”