Chapter 15

“What did you see?”

Delilah was glaring at Adam, her eyes bright with overwhelming emotion. Adam was still trying to catch up with reality. He’d had sex with Delilah again? No, he hadn’t. She’d fucked him. He had felt it, but ... he couldn’t exactly claim to have been a part of it.

But everything he had seen? What the hell had that been? It had been the clearest he had ever seen the figure. Certainly the clearest he had ever heard it. But the things it had said...

Adam had no idea.

“I’m not sure — look, I don’t know, alright! I mean kind of? But it’s so hazy...”

Adam got off the chair and pulled his pants up, not looking Delilah in the face. It wasn’t hazy, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to talk to Delilah about what he had seen. Not yet. Maybe not ever. She had secrets, he knew she did.

“Is that really true? You were — I don’t even know how to describe it! And how I felt ... it was fucking terrifying.”

Delilah shuddered, holding herself tightly. She moved, and more of Adam’s seed dripped out of her pussy. She glanced down in irritation, and quickly walked over to the bathroom. She was gone barely a minute before she returned, wearing a pair of shorts.

“You need to tell me what you saw. Anything you can remember! I’ve never experienced anything like that when I use the pipe. Not even close!”

Adam thought quickly. He had to give her something.

“I was back at the cave ... I think. It was like a memory of the first time I was there. You know, like I told you. But it’s like it’s not as clear? I think I saw something else ... but it’s like I can’t focus on it.”

Delilah stared searchingly at Adam. Then she flung herself down on the sofa. She crossed one leg over the other, folding her arms across her chest. She murmured quietly, mostly to herself.

“That sounds like ... fuck. I never read anything like that in my grandfather’s writings. But he ate them, not smoked them ... would that really make a difference? Are you sure that’s all you remember?”

Adam nodded. He didn’t sit down with her on the sofa, instead slowly pacing around the kitchen.

“Yeah, it was all a blur. And didn’t feel like a long time? Then suddenly I was back here, and you were...”

Adam gestured vaguely. Delilah flushed, looking away from him. She frowned.

“I don’t like that I didn’t have any control. And if anything, the fact that you didn’t have any control is a greater worry. I think I don’t need to even say that you aren’t going to try smoking my pipe again?”

Adam was acutely aware of the purloined dried sample of the fungi sitting in his pocket.

“Yeah, I figured.”

“Although ... dammit. If you could remember what you saw, and tell me, what could I learn? I’ve been fumbling in the dark for so long I’ve almost forgotten...”

Delilah got up and started pacing as well. She looked at Adam warily.

“And you’re sure you don’t remember anything else?”

Adam shook his head.

“Only what I told you.”

Delilah looked at him for a long moment. She didn’t accuse him of lying to her, but Adam could tell she was suspicious. She sighed.

“Adam ... we’ll talk about it later. But right now ... I think we should part ways for the night.”

Adam looked at Delilah. She was clearly uncomfortable. Whether it was him or what had happened, he couldn’t say. He agreed in part. Adam had come here to get help about what he had done to Kendra. It was his mistake to own. But Delilah didn’t have the answers he wanted, even if that wasn’t her fault. Everything that had happened between them ... Adam needed time to process as well.

They parted ways, both slightly wary of the other. Both suspicious. Adam headed back towards Serenity Falls, his mind whirling. Trying to make sense of what he had seen. Wondering if he even wanted to.

Delilah watched him go, standing at her front door. Staring after Adam as he vanished into the gloom.

She hadn’t offered to give him a ride.

Once back at the Retreat, Adam stopped by his room and took a quick shower. The stolen sample from Delilah was hidden at the back of the small fridge in a container. Adam was feeling too restless to call it a night — the nap he had taken with Holly and Kendra had given him enough energy that he didn’t feel overly tired. He had a lot weighing on his mind, but he was trying not to think of it yet. Adam didn’t want to go to bed, he knew he would just be staring up at the ceiling as everything cascaded through his brain. Besides, it wasn’t even ten pm yet.

“I should go back to their room. I told Holly I would...”

Adam hesitated. He had done something he had told himself he wouldn’t ever do. It didn’t matter that it had been an accident. Not to him. Adam didn’t feel up to facing Holly or Kendra yet. He didn’t know what he would say to them.

But he couldn’t just ghost them either.

Reluctantly, Adam started to head towards their bungalow. The Retreat was filled with a low murmur of noise, people laughing and socialising. It seemed at odds to how he felt.

Adam was cutting through the bar area, on his way to Holly and Kendra’s, when he paused. There were a decent amount of people sitting down and drinking even if it wasn’t overly crowded. However, one figure sitting alone off to the side caught his eye. Adam hesitated, and then made his way over.

Adam’s mother, Erin, looked up as her son walked up to her table. Her eyes widened in surprise. Adam’s mother was dressed stylishly as usual, wearing an a light blue off-shoulder dress that hugged her figure. She looked a little out of place in a bar where most people were wearing beach-going outfits.

Adam cleared his throat. He wasn’t sure why he came over. Something in his mother’s posture had drawn him to her. Added to that, he could really use a distraction from everything.

“Hey.”

Erin blinked up at her son. She was holding an overfull glass of red wine.

“Adam. I’m surprised to see you.”

“Why? Where else should I be?”

Adam pulled out a chair and sat down at his mother’s table across from her. She took a long drink from her glass, her lips stained a vivid red from the wine. Erin graced him with a self-deprecating smile, slightly bitter.

“Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that I’m surprised that you’re sitting down with me.”

Adam sighed, rubbing at his face tiredly. Part of him knew that he was mostly delaying things. Adam wasn’t the greatest fan of his mother, but in light of what he had recently learnt he also didn’t want to bug her — not if she didn’t want him around.

“Yeah. I get that. I’ll go if you want me to.”

Erin cocked her head, studying her son for a long moment. She hesitated, then looked down at the wine glass.

“No. It’s fine. Is ... everything alright?”

It was Adam’s turn to study her now. She wasn’t making eye contact with him. Adam couldn’t remember the last time that his mother had inquired about his wellbeing. The thought of actually confiding in her was laughable though.

“No, not really. I’ll get over it though.”

Erin took an another drink of wine, then idly swirled the red liquid around in her glass.

“ ... I daresay you get that from me.”

“What?”

Erin sighed. She finished off her wine and put the glass down on the table, folding her arms across her belly in a way that accentuated her chest.

“Pushing your feelings down. Burying things.”

“If I did, it must be genetic. I don’t recall you ever teaching me anything.”

Erin blinked again, her head rocking back slightly. She looked down again, this time studying the table.

“No, I suppose not. Not purposefully, anyway.”

Erin rubbed at her arm. Something caught Adam’s eye and he frowned. There was the beginnings of a bruise on his mother’s upper arm. It looked like ... fingerprints. Like someone had gripped her arm tight in their fist. Erin glanced up, saw where her son was looking, and then tugged the sleeve of her dress down a little further to cover it.

Adam stared. In his family it was usual to ignore things like that. Pretend to not see it. Certainly never to talk about it. Adam was so tired of it, especially now. He’d had enough of secrets to last him a lifetime. Adam nodded towards his mother’s arm.

“That looks painful.”

Erin looked at her son in surprise, her eyes wide. Adam shifted uncomfortably at the look in his mother’s eyes.

“What?”

Erin glanced down once again.

“Nothing really. It’s just ... that might be the first time you’ve said anything about ... that.”

Adam leant back in his chair, looking at the ceiling for a moment.

“Yeah. I guess it is. Sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?”

“Well, it’s not something you should really ignore, is it?”

Erin looked at her son for a long moment. Her lips twitched slightly as though she might smile ... but her face remained smooth. Mostly expressionless, as was her want.

“Look at you. You’ve certainly flourished out here, haven’t you.”

“Don’t change the subject, mom. I’m serious. I never should have ... pretended not to see things.”

Erin did smile then, a bitter expression. It wasn’t directed at Adam though.

“Adam, you are still a teenager. A child. It isn’t your job to insert yourself into issues like that. It’s easier to change the subject. Some things are too difficult to address.”

Adam rested his head on his hand as he looked at his mother. Thinking. Emily hadn’t told him everything about the situation at home — just some unpleasant highlights. What did his mother really have? It was hard for Adam to think of her that way, but she was hardly on old woman. Barely into her forties. She was lovely — he’d always known that. Her figure was easily that of a woman decades younger than she actually was. Emily got all her looks from their mother. But what did she actually have to show for her life so far?

His mother had never studied as far as Adam knew. She’d left high school early without graduating — left way too early now that Emily had pointed out how old their mother had been when his sister had been born. What did she have? Only what her husband allowed her to have.

“Dad’s got you locked down pretty tight, doesn’t he.”

Erin flinched. Her eyes flickered up to her son’s face. She frowned for a moment, opening her mouth ... but then she seemed to sag.

“ ... something like that. Yes.”

Adam indicated his mother’s arm. A slow burn of anger was growing within him, fuelled by all the frustrations he had been dealt lately.

“Does that happen often?”

Erin pulled the sleeve of her dress further down.

“No. Not often. He — he was upset about something today.”

Adam grimaced bitterly.

“That ... might have been my fault.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I stepped in when I came across dad harassing a girl. Although, I didn’t do that much. She was kind of letting him have it when I arrived.”

Erin closed her eyes for a moment, sighing deeply.

“I ... see. That would do it. Even if you didn’t do anything, that you were there to see it ... it would explain much about his anger.”

Adam saw the resigned and defeated look in his mother’s eyes. She seemed to be aging right before him, shrinking into herself.

“You don’t seem that surprised to hear about what he was doing.”

Erin looked away from her son. She raised a hand languidly into the air. A waitress appeared as if by magic and topped up his mother’s glass without needing any verbal direction. Adam wandered at just how much his mother was tipping to get that kind of service. Erin studied her full glass like it was fascinating to her.

“No. No, I’m not surprised, Adam.”

Adam was silent for a moment, watching his mother drink. He raised his own hand. Perhaps because he was sitting with his mother, the same waitress appeared promptly. Adam asked for a bourbon and was soon handed a glass of the amber liquid. He tapped his glass to his mother’s. She eyed him as he took a drink.

“Adam, don’t you have somewhere better to be?”

Adam put his half empty glass down, eyeing it somewhat ruefully. He enjoyed the taste, but it would be an expensive habit to take up considering how much it now took him to get tipsy. He did have places to be. People he should see to ... but he really didn’t want to deal with any of it. Not tonight.

“No, not really, mom. Besides, we’ve never done this — have we?”

Erin took another drink from her glass.

“No, we haven’t. What brought this on?”

Adam finished off his glass. His mother raised one elegant eyebrow as he ordered another of the same, but she didn’t comment.

“I’ve been learning a lot of family secrets lately. They just keep coming.”

“ ... oh?”

Adam took another drink, savouring the pleasant burn in his mouth.

“Yeah. Honestly, I feel a little stupid in retrospect. Like I’ve been really oblivious about everything.””

Erin took a drink as well, once again studying the contents of her glass. She sounded a bit hesitant as she spoke.

“Do you ... want to talk about something in particular?”

“Maybe. Not right now, though.”

“ ... I see.”

They drank in silence for a few moments. They both took turns studying the other, glancing away whenever one of them looked up. It was a slightly awkward, but Adam didn’t get the impression that his mother was unhappy with his presence.

Adam took the opportunity to send a quick text message to Holly. It felt like he was copping out, but at least he wasn’t entirely lying.

‘Hey, ran into my mom. Something up. I’ll tell you later, not sure how long I’ll be. Sorry.’

Holly’s reply came back almost immediately.

‘Hope everything is okay. Kendra is ready to charge off after you, but I’ll keep her here. Talk soon, okay?’

Adam was about to reply — he felt guilty about what they must be thinking — but he was distracted by a new arrival.

“Well, this is a strange pairing. Mom, Adam — didn’t think I’d find you here together.”

Adam and his mother jumped slightly. They hadn’t heard anyone approach. Adam glanced up and saw his sister, Emily, standing with her hands on her hips. She had a challenging look upon her face.

Erin nodded at her daughter.

“Emily.”

Adam sighed inwardly at seeing his sister. She was standing over them like she had discovered something untoward. He didn’t need this — although sparring with his sister would be the perfect distraction from all that was weighing on his mind.

Emily’s mouth dropped open in surprise as Adam used his leg to hook a chair, pulling it out for her. Erin’s eyes also widened at his act. Emily laughed uncertainly, off-balance, as Adam gestured for her to join them.

“What, really?”

Adam nodded again towards the chair, then picked up his glass and took another sip.

“Sit. Order a drink if you want. Don’t just stand there looming.”

Emily’s eyes flickered between Adam and their mother. She slid into the seat, unsure of what to do with the unexpected invitation. She ordered a drink, receiving the same quick service. Emily gave them both a broad smile, even if it looked a little forced to Adam. Her tone slid back into being caustic.

“So what’s the occasion? Did someone die? Is this a wake? Mood seems to fit that.”

Adam rolled his eyes. Their mother looked as uncertain as Emily. This might be the first time they had ever all voluntarily sat down together. Adam didn’t feel like having to listen to her being snarky though. And he was tired of it all. Tired of secrets.

Adam interrupted his sister as she spoke to their mother.

“She’s fucking Todd, you know. Pretty much from the first day here.”

Emily spluttered into her drink, spilling some onto the table. She stared at Adam, her eyes wide. His sister then gritted her teeth.

“You little bastard...”

Erin, apart from a slight widening of her eyes, didn’t seem to react to the news. She raised an eyebrow at her daughter.

“You could certainly do better, Emily.”

Adam grinned, amused at their mother’s understated reaction. He wondered if she had already known.

“Yeah, although that’s underplaying it, Mom. There goes a guy who’s punching well above his weight.”

Erin tried to hide a smile in her wine glass, but Adam noticed.

“What?”

“I’ve never heard you compliment your sister before, that’s all.”

Adam looked blankly at his mother. Then he glanced to his side at Emily. His sister’s face was screwed up in embarrassment, her cheeks pink. Adam initially thought it was from being exposed, but then he realised that wasn’t the cause of her blush.

Suddenly uncomfortable himself, Adam waved his hand dismissively.

“Yeah, I don’t know what came over me. In fact — hey! Watch it!”

Emily had tried to elbow Adam in the ribs, her cheeks flushing a darker shade of red. Adam easily leant out of the way. Erin raised her hand for a second, then let it drop — a wry half-smile on her lips. When Adam asked her what was so amusing, she hesitated a moment before answering.

“It’s nothing. Well, I was about to admonish the two of you. Tell you not to fight in public ... but I don’t really have the right to start parenting now.”

Emily stared at her mother, hesitating herself. She rubbed at her arm, muttering uncomfortably.

“You don’t have to — gah! Don’t stress about every little thing, mom. All of us suck. Don’t make a big deal about it.”

Erin looked taken aback, but nodded hesitantly — seeming to actually take some comfort in the admission. Adam grinned at his mother, not bothering to dispute his sister’s claim. In fact, it amused him.

“Hey, little miss perfect just admitted that she sucked. Wish I had recorded that one.”

Emily swore under her breath and took a half-hearted swing at the back of her brother’s head. Adam ducked smoothly, still grinning. Emily was about to try again when they both heard something that made them stop in their tracks. Their mother had laughed. Only once, but with genuine good humour — not the feigned laugh that they were familiar with in social settings. Erin raised her hand to call the waitress back.

“Adam, another of the same? Emily, do you want a refill?”

Adam and Emily exchanged a wordless glance. The three of them sat and drank together as the night wore on. It wasn’t all easy or pleasant. Emily still tended to be caustic in her words. But it was easily the nicest interaction that Adam could ever remember having with his mother and sister. They were all on their fourth round when Erin stood up, swaying very gently from the alcohol.

“I’m afraid it’s time for me to head back. It’s getting late.”

Adam looked up at his mother. She seemed ... softer than he had ever seen her before. Some of the perpetual tension that she always carried within her had lessened.