Hallo-mean

“At least we won’t have any of Tana’s weird food. My family went nuts when I married her twenty-five years ago. They thought I shouldn’t marry an immigrant from South America. Even worse, Tana was a young woman from an indigenous tribe from the Amazon jungle in eastern Colombia. Only my grandmother supported the marriage.

“An American oil company wanted to drill in her tribe’s homeland. They made an arrangement with the Tikuna tribe. In order to drill in tribal areas, the company agreed to help with the tribe’s overpopulation problems by finding a new home for many of their young members. They pressured the US government to grant Tana’s family and other families permission to immigrate.

“Mi Abuela thought she’d make a good wife for me and helped us be alone together. My grandmother wasn’t shy about our relationship. Tana was beautiful and curvy and loved sex. I think she coached Tana on how to please me in bed. I spoke Spanish well enough, and Tana had lived in the US long enough to get along in life as a new Permanent Legal Resident.

“Tana was very traditional, both in her view of marriage roles and her view of proper family life. I would come home from work, and she had the apartment cleaned and dinner prepared. As soon as we finished with dinner and an hour or two of television, she would drag me to bed for sex—even during her period.

“Even so, she spent a lot of time with her family and with other families that had come with her to the US.

“Then she had Annie and David, and the children became her entire focus. Our sex life waned, and after the kids were both enrolled in school, she completed her own education and went to work. Once they were adults and moved out, she had no further use for me, and we separated. I never expected to become so sexually deprived considering how our marriage began.

“For now, it’s just me and my right hand. But not tonight; I’m tired from getting up and down to answer the door and handing out candy. I saw a lot of MILFs behind their little kids—many wore in skimpy costumes in the warm evening. Do you know what I SHOULD have done? Give candy to the MILFs too, with my name and number written on the packaging. Yeah, trick-or-treat!”