Preface

The scene could have been something out of a superhero comic book or a parody of one. In Cheval Jaune’s dôjô, three gi-clad entities stood looking at a Tu’ull AI’s avatar – a four-foot high hologram of an animated bucket full of nuts and bolts. The avatar represented the AI R’Stbkt, now known to humans as ‘Rust Bucket’ or often ‘Rusty.’ Two figures resembling raccoons stood on either side of a five-foot-four-inch, human beauty with long red-gold hair. All four were battle survivors.

Strictly speaking, the Tu’ulls B’Nov – human name Boris, and F’Tale – human name Natasha – had not ‘fought’ in the battle to rescue the crippled ship Tu’ullat 10655, and neither had the human Shellie, aka Fannie –named Pa’Sonn by the Tu’ull. The two Tu’ull and the human woman had been aboard R’Stbkt’s ship when a Sa’arm missile traversed its length, killing several of a rescue party, injuring Shellie, and damaging R’Stbkt’s mobile escape vessel. The subsequent extraction of the wounded and damaged individuals bonded the four. Shellie had named the battle comrades, ‘asshole buddies.’

The close association of Tu’ull and human youngsters of the Harrad experimental colony, and subsequently that of the four asshole buddies, yielded unexpected by-products – discoveries. Some activities, born of combat, were not only tolerated, but the Tu’ull youngsters actually excelled in target shooting, wrestling, jiu-jitsu, and other ‘sports’, just so long as the purpose was competition and not harm. So here were the three sweating and one analyzing on the tatami mats in a simulated bamboo-walled dôjô.

Caleb, the ship’s ‘brain’, was listening in while they discussed the challenges of keeping secrets from the Darjee and Darjee-influenced humans.

<The Darjee will freak out if they learn Caleb is a brainship; even more if they discover that Tu’ull and humans are working face-to-face in partnerships,> Rust Bucket’s mastery of idiomatic English was growing. <And Tu’ull physically competing...?!>

<You are so right,> Shellie agreed, <but I’m really afraid of what humans might do if they figure out Caleb. There’s enough variation that some warped brain trust – like DECO – might try to capture him and take him apart for the technology. If Caleb is to have freedom to operate, we need to figure out a way to keep his secret.>

<I believe it is called a ‘beard’,> Rust Bucket told them. <Caleb needs one.>

<Old Rusty reads a lot,> Shellie told Boris and Natasha. <Back when even sane people thought same-sex relationships were wrong and probably evil, homosexuals had to pretend they weren’t. They called it ‘staying in the closet.’ To protect themselves, they would pretend to date – associate with – friends of the opposite gender. Those friends were called ‘beards.’>

<Yes, indeed,> Caleb injected, <and I’m in need of more than one beard. Shellie! You are now my first officer. You’re already the ship’s voice when we enter a system, so that would be natural. Understand, among humans in Darjee-influenced areas, you may be the beard, but the assignment is real, beginning now. Marcie still heads security, Shellie, but your security assignment is now secondary.>

<Natasha! You and Boris will be my beards if we meet up with any Confederacy species other than Darjee or Tu’ull,> Caleb instructed. <After you use the sleep trainer, Rust Bucket can make sure you are conversant with all necessary protocols. I’ll modify our IFF transponders so that outsiders will think we are Tu’ullat 10655.>

<Friend R’Stbkt? If friend Shellie agrees, may I also address you as ‘Rusty’? That name seems to fit.> Caleb requested and explained. Upon receiving their joint agreement, he continued, <Rusty, presenting as R’Stbkt, you will represent to all as the supervising AI. It will be the truth because while Cheval Jaune is my body, you know far more than me about running a ship. I need you to teach and support me.>

<Of course, friend Caleb,> Rusty agreed. <And we too, are battle buddies and someday likely asshole buddies.>