Chapter 11: It’s ridiculous to leave all the conversation to the pudding

Mindy scowled, “You’re not wearing that, turd.”

“Yeah, I am.”

“You need to dress up a bit, you don’t have to put on a monkey suit ... but at least try to look decent.”

“It’s a movie. They’ll be lucky I’ll be wearing pants. Besides I didn’t buy any dress clothes during that shopping trip, did I? Best I could do is my blue button-down.”

“You’re not wearing that it barely fits.”

“Why are you so interested in what I wear?”

“It’s a big thing.”

“It’s a horror movie about a genie, it’ll probably suck.”

“Then take her to see something else. Like that one with Kevin Kline.”

“I want to see the horror movie. That was the whole idea of trying to bum a ride to town.”

“How are you getting tickets anyway? You’re both underage.”

“You’re kidding right? Whoever is working the till won’t care how old I am, just that I have cash.”

“Alright ... So, Black Jeans and the Burgundy T?”

“No, Mindy. I’ve already got blue jeans and this shirt on. I’m good.”

“Alright, don’t blame me if you don’t get a kiss.”

“You’ll kiss me the second you don’t want to do something.”

She muttered something and headed back down to her room. I dug in my duffel for cash. I wasn’t going to run low anytime soon as long as there weren’t any more projects, but I was still hesitant to take too much.

I headed downstairs and Mindy gave me a ride to The Heights. Mindy dropped me off in front of Melissa’s house. She lived just down the road from the twins and Alex. I hopped up the walk. They had one of the those broken stone paths. I knocked on the door (shave and a haircut) and a tall man answered. He reminded me of the old joke. What does superman look like? 6’2”, Perfect hair, perfect teeth. Clark Kent? 6’2”, perfect hair, perfect teeth, but with glasses. The would-be Clark Kent spoke with a bit of spite in his voice, “You must be the West boy.” If I had to pick a direction that wouldn’t be my first choice.

“Yes, sir. I’m supposed to meet Melissa here.”

“Come in. We need to have a talk.”

“Okay?”

The would-be Clark Kent turned and led me in. The living room was the first room through the door and it was white-on-white; white carpet, white furniture, and even white drapes. He stepped through that room and into the dining room/kitchen. I followed and he pointed to a chair.

“Do you know what I do for a living?” Clean carpets?”

“I think Melissa said that you were a cop, sir.”

“Deputy. Do you know what that means?” You have an authoritarian personality and an overinflated ego?

“I suppose so?”

“You will treat my daughter with respect. You will listen to her. If you don’t, you’ll end up on my bad side ... and I do carry a service weapon.” What the fuck is this guy on about?

My other interrupted, “A pumped up meerkat seeks to put the Jaguar off balance.” Jesus Fucking Christ, it’s bad enough I have a voice in my head, but I had to get the one that spouts nothing but nonsense.

“Melissa is my friend; I’ll always treat my friends with respect.”

He nodded and I heard from the top of the back stairs, “Is the interrogation over?”

The would-be Clark shouted back, “Yes, you can come down.” I heard some clomping on the stairs and eventually Mellissa appeared. She was dressed in jeans and a navy-blue jumper. Not-Clark-Kent continued, “Unfortunately, my second youngest daughter isn’t the picture of grace.”

Melissa shot back, “You have Melody for that. Now, come on. Let’s get out of her before he starts cleaning his shotguns.” I could help with that.

She headed out to a little white car and I followed along. I hopped in the passenger side, “Your Dad seems to be a bit off.” She turned the engine and the took off.

“He likes to intimidate people. He probably couldn’t deal with you not flinching.”

“I’m just not sure why he felt the need to play that game.”

“He’s overprotective.’

“It’s fine, just a bit weird.”

It was an hour drive to the nearest city which would’ve been a small town in any other state. There were two movie theaters and only one was playing the genie film. Tickets were easily attained. A few arcade games got played. Melissa asked for popcorn and candy. I bought that along with a pair of sodas. The movie wasn’t good.

I had to cajole her into dropping me off at the grandmother’s place. I didn’t really want to deal with Not-Clark’s weirdness. Overall, it was a fun day out even if the movie sucked.

The weekend was mostly dull, but Sunday I got a phone call. GG sent Mindy to retrieve me and I had to go to the first floor to answer the phone, “Hello?”

“Hey, I was wondering if you had any idea for the twins’ birthday present?’

“Who is this?”

“Susan Falls.”

“Oh, um they have the same birthday?”

“No, they’re three days apart ... technically a year and three days, but we usually do one party. I don’t have a lot of spare cash, but I was wondering if you had any ideas about what I could do to make it good for them on a budget.” I wonder why she didn’t ask Beth?

“I have an idea, but I don’t know if it’s feasible for you.”

“I’m all ears.”

“If you have a spare room somewhere separating the two of them would probably do wonders. There was a lot of space squabbling when I slept over that time.” A vision of Susan’s breasts flashed in my brain and I tried to force the thought from my head with minimal success.

“I suppose ... We could move Scott’s bed to the basement. There is some furniture down there already, but there are a lot of boxes I’d need to move. Hey, Are you busy next Sunday?”

“Not that I’m aware of?”

“Would you consider coming over that evening and helping me move those boxes and set up the room? I can ensure you’ll enjoy the view.” Okay, even I’m not dense enough to not get that. I definitely wouldn’t mind another look.

“Sure, ma’am. I can do that.”

“Alright, be here about 7 ... Have a nice day.”

“Goodbye, ma’am.” So, I get another glance for a couple hours work. Probably be worth it.

Monday

Monday was mostly dull till practice with some decent notebook conversations and and a rougher than normal basketball game at lunch. Practice brought terrible news.

I’d just walked into the auditorium and Beth sailed some clothes at my head. I looked at it and it was a two pairs of shorts and two tank tops in red and grey.

“I’m not wearing this.”

Beth glared at me, “Jesus fucking Christ, you don’t have anything we haven’t seen before!”

“What are you on about, darling?”

“Just put on the damn uniform!”

“I told you. No skin, below my neck.”

“I bought those for you. They match the uniforms pretty closely. Just put them on.”

“Fine, But I ... I think I deserve some basic privacy.”

“You won’t have it. When we do away games or a competition, we’ll be lucky if it’s just us changing. We’ll all see each other naked. Probably other squads too. I made sure those shorts were baggy enough in that area that your dick won’t flop out the bottom or put someone’s eye with the bulge. Just whip it out already and get on with it. We’ve all seen what you’re packing.” Yeah, you made sure you got a fucking polaroid.