Chapter 2: Connie’s Apartment

Connie left her entrance door cracked open for Eli. When he walked in, he kicked the door shut behind him and they kissed wildly, tongues wrestling. And then it happened.

They farted at the same time.

“We make beautiful music together! Connie, I’m so hot for you, can we go straight to bed?”

“I’m sorry, that’s got to wait for a minute. You need to know more about me. Let’s sit down here in the kitchen.

“Alright, so you know about the farting. I used to have terrible problems with constipation. Shit would build up and back up inside and get to be these hard logs that were painful to force out. Sometimes I’d be stuck on the toilet crying from the pain and then have to deal with ... Anyway, the solution is (for me) to stay very well hydrated and to take in huge amounts of dietary fiber.

“After everything I went through, to have nice soft turds that come out easily, well, it gives me pleasure and satisfaction. The only downside is volume. Think of a gallon of milk in a plastic jug. I could easily fill one of those just in one, ah, sitting.

“Eli, I’m watching your face. You’re very calm, not disgusted-looking. You’re OK with this?”

“Connie, you misjudge me. For me, farts are just introductory announcements. I’m good with all of it. Pissing, pooping, anal sex, it’s all good. The only things I don’t like are the bondage or humiliation. I’m focused on good clean shitty fun.

Years ago, at random I saw a video, it was a close up of a man’s cock going in and out of a pussy while she was forcing out a big turd. From then on, I was hooked.”

“It’s so crazy. You and I are on the same page. No BDSM, no restraints, just playing with liquids and solids. You know who else is like this? My roommate, Sheila. Or, as she calls herself, ‘Shitty Sheila.’ We like the same things! When we discovered this, we HAD to become roommates.

“But she’s as frustrated as I have been, maybe more.”

“Why do you say that?”

“The first reason is that neither of us are much good at being lesbians. We’ll have fun; we’ll play together. But we just want more excitement that matches our straight orientations.

The second reason is that Sheila is, according to her, not very pretty. At least, that’s how she feels. Her breasts are a little saggy, and she’s very self-conscious about them. She thinks her ass is too big.”

“Connie, 95% of women say their asses are too big. I’ve never been able to understand it.”

“Oh, Eli, you’re adorable. In her case, though, she might have a point. You can judge for yourself when you see her. I think in order to promote domestic tranquility, I might need to share you with her.

“Anyway, between the two of us, we overwhelm the plumbing. Instead, we usually squat in the shower over a white plastic bag, and we put all the collected waste in the building’s dumpster outside. If you’ll forgive me, that’s some serious shit we’re dealing with.”

“Is there anything else you want to tell me, Connie, or can I please, finally, fuck your brains out as requested?”

“OK, sweetie, help me undress.”

“Jeez, Eli, you’re throbbing, you’re so hard. And I’m soaking wet. Help me get my ass up on the edge of the kitchen table. I hope you’re prepared for what’s coming. Just start in my pussy.”

“Oh, yeah!”

Eli pushed his way in, smoothly and firmly, although Connie’s tight vagina resisted him. It did, not her. She was halfway to coming already. She was already “man-” handling her clit, urgently, and farting.

“Get ready!” she gasped.

A couple more strokes, and then Eli stopped. He felt something warm and rounded pushing against his balls, perhaps the size of...

“Wait a minute!” he thought, excitedly.

She was pushing out the first rounded (and firmest) end of a huge turd. Already two or three inches had slipped free, still parallel to the floor and trying to push aside his ball sack. He groped at her tit and croaked out, “Go! Connie, Go!”

She bore down and several things all happened in rapid sequence. The end broke free and hit the floor with a wet plop. Pressure on his balls resumed as hot sticky shit was forced into the narrow area between his thighs and his scrotum and then falling between his feet. A new smell reached their noses, different from her farts. And it kept coming!

He thought if it had all stayed in a continuous line, she would have expelled a foot of poop, as big around as her wrist. Maybe his wrist. He was back to pumping, urgently, as the remnants dragged out of her loose hole, tearing apart as they dropped away.