Chapter 1: The Assignment

Connie and Eli were part of a large law firm in a large city. They were both 26 years old and had been hired as junior associates directly after completing law school and passing the state’s bar exam.

First-year junior associates were expected to put in up to 65-hours of work in a week. These hours were almost exclusively spent behind the scenes doing research, checking business records, drafting legal documents, reviewing contracts, all kinds of non-glamorous drudge work.

Eli had been working on Jaundice v. Jaundice for two weeks when Connie was assigned to the same case. They were expected to be wholly applied to this lawsuit for at least three months, the details of which are of absolutely no importance to any normal human being.

A drab little room on the seventh floor of the older office building was their environment for their ten- to twelve-hour days. The only part of this room that was at all helpful to them (besides the necessary computers and records they were assigned to review) was its privacy and quiet, and one blessed operable window. On a typical day, they had an open box on the table between them which they would take and put back files from.

Besides each other, their only interactions with the others in the building or the firm were via teleconferencing software (similar to Zoom).

When they met in that little room, Eli and Connie spent only a brief time on introductions. At 26, both were attractive, healthy, and single. The idea of having a social life was impossible to imagine for either of them, considering the workload. Like many of their peers, the only outlet for them was a porn addiction.

Neither of them had much experience with the opposite sex. And, by this point in their lives they had watched so much porn that they had drifted into fetishism.

Connie had become fascinated with butt sex, and from there into farting. In her assignment prior to Eli, she was working from home and free to indulge her quirk. She mostly avoided meat and certain vegetables and took in near-excessive amounts of dietary fiber. As a result, her emissions were fairly innocuous, and she enjoyed the feeling of relief from gas pressures.

Put simply, her farts were “not so bad” for others, and enjoyable to her. And then, her big soft poops were in the same way relief and also fun.

But then, she unexpectedly had to return to work, in person, at arm’s length to Eli, before she had a chance to cut back on her dietary program. Two hours into their first day together, it started.

“(Brappp.) Oh, excuse me.”

“No problem.”

“(Brappp.) Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“(Brappp.) Sorry.”

“Tell you what. I’ll stipulate to accepting your apology and assume that it’s being given. It happens; it’s fine. Let’s just move on.”

Then there were about 20 more audible and 8 inaudible farts in the next ten minutes.

Eli pushed away from his keyboard and sighed.

“I am so very sorry Eli, I was working from home before today, where if I wasn’t well, I offended no one.”