Chapter 25: Jade

Monday, August 28, 2023

I was not in the right frame of mind to start classes. I woke up at 6 a.m. with a start when my alarm sounded. I had slept so little the last week. Even last night, I hadn’t drifted off until after 3 a.m., but I wanted to look good for my first day of school, so I dragged my butt out of bed to dress and put on my makeup. First impressions and all that.

A second glance at my phone told me I already had several messages waiting for me. The first two were from Kimmy, Kitt’s consultant and video editor.

Kimmy: your video is killing it on Kitt’s FFE page!

Kimmy: let me or Kitt know if you want to do more!

The next ones were from my mom and dad. A few from my sister, Opal, who was about to start her first day of college. She was probably complaining about her dorm roommate already. After all that apartment shopping, she decided to take a spot in the dorms and save some money because her scholarship covered it. Or maybe she needed more time with me processing the massive upheaval to our lives that had happened over the last six days.

After I caught my dad screwing a college girl in the alleyway of the bar.

My dad.

Paying a college girl—a girl my age—for sex.

I still didn’t know what to think about it. My mom did. She kicked him out. My dad was furious at me for telling her. He said I had no idea what was happening in their marriage and that it hadn’t been my place to tell my mother. She announced to the family and then to the extended family, and then to Facebook and Instagram about her husband being a prostitute-chasing philanderer.

That was what I dealt with all week, on top of experiencing the fallout from my encounter with Professor Dubois and Doctor Perez. That fallout included meetings with the university president and other leaders, pre-meeting sit-downs with my student advocate, and follow-up interviews with the university police investigating everything coming out as they dug into the matter.

Dad moved out of the house and into an apartment in Denver. He worked from home, so it didn’t matter where he lived. My parents had already hired lawyers and were ready to go to war. But the worst part of the whole affair thing was my mom calling me every six to eight hours to cry about how sorry she was that I had such a loser for a father.

I didn’t say it to my mother, but the truth was the more I talked to my parents, the more I couldn’t blame my dad as much as I wanted to. Yes, he was an asshole for cheating on my mom, and yes, he should have divorced her before becoming a pussy hound, but my mom was only having sex with him once a month, and that was on a good month.

What did she expect to happen? My dad was a horny dog. He’d always pawed at my mom, pulled her to him for a quick make-out, or called her into the bedroom for a quickie. Somewhere during their marriage, she changed, and he didn’t. I would never condone his decision to cheat, but I could forgive him.

Eventually.

But would he forgive me for telling her?

That wasn’t my only problem. Since the day Fanny and I fucked on the upper floor of the library—the day she became my witness—Velma stopped showing up for work. I called and texted her, but she didn’t answer. Friday night, I stopped by her apartment to see if she was alive, but her nasty bitch of a roommate told me Velma was fine but didn’t want to see anybody. I told her I didn’t care. I wasn’t leaving until I knew Velma was alright.

Velma didn’t come out to talk. I waited outside the apartment for an hour, texting her, but she didn’t answer. Marjorie, my boss, did not seem worried about Velma’s absence. She said Velma needed time off to prepare for the start of the semester and would be back at work next week. According to Marjorie, I could handle things alone while training Opal, whose first day at work had been the previous Wednesday.

I scrolled through my Monday morning texts. Most of them were from Fanny.

Fanny: Good morning!

Fanny: Love u! Miss u! Can’t wait to see u in class today!

Fanny: What should I wear? Which outfit do u like best?

I sighed and responded. Ever since making Fanny my witness, this was a routine thing. She constantly wanted to be in contact with me. If we weren’t together, we were texting. If we were together, she was physically touching me in some way. I was genuinely concerned about her obsession with me.

I’d spent Friday night hanging out with Hannah, and Fanny had been openly upset about it. She didn’t bug me while I was with Hannah, but she was sour the next day and showed it with a blend of trying to make me jealous and showering me with affection. We needed to have another talk about our boundaries, and soon.

Classes started at 8 a.m., giving me plenty of time to shower, dress, and get to class. My first lecture of the new semester was organic chemistry. I was the first member of the study group to arrive, but pretty soon, the rest of the group trickled in. Fanny sat next to me on one side, Hannah on the other. Fanny said hello to Hannah, and maybe I was a bit paranoid, but I thought Fanny came off noticeably cold toward our friend.

Travis, Drew, and Danny, the baseball players, all arrived together. They were rooming together this year in a house with Phillip and two other guys on the wrestling team. When Sarah arrived, she waved and sat between Drew and Danny. I’d heard rumors that she had spent a lot of time with Danny over the summer. Maybe those rumors were true.

Gretchen arrived last. Fanny and I exchanged a look. Neither of us had said anything about her shooting a scene with Kitt for his FFE page. Nor had she said anything to me, either. Fanny’s video had yet to be posted. According to Kitt, Kimmy wanted to edit it more before it went live, so Fanny was on pins and needles until the coming weekend when it would appear on Kitt’s page.

I looked around the lecture hall and spotted Velma in a corner in the back. Our eyes briefly met, and then she looked away. I sighed, turned to face the front, and then changed my mind.

“I’m sorry,” I told Fanny and Hannah, but I think I need to sit somewhere else for this lecture.”

I gathered my things, went to the back of the hall, and sat next to Velma. Fanny and Hannah both watched me with confusion. I texted them separately but sent the same message.

Me: I’ll explain later!

Velma looked me over with undisguised disdain. “What are you doing? You should be sitting with your slutty group.” Her southern drawl was more pronounced than ever. “Sorry. I meant to say your study group.”

“Very mature, Velma. I thought we were past the judgmental stuff.”

“Maybe we can move past it when you stop having lesbian sex with your friends at work.” Velma spoke loudly enough that the people closest to us turned around to stare. I glared at them.

“What are you talking about—”

“Don’t deny it. I know you and Fanny snuck off to fool around.” Velma didn’t look at me, but her face was as red as a tomato, and she fidgeted with her stylus. “You don’t have to sit by me. Just go.”

“No,” I said firmly. “I’m not leaving. You know why?”

“Why?” Velma spat.

“Because we’re friends. You can say all the mean things you want to me, but I’m still your friend. So go ahead. Get it all out.”

Velma didn’t get a chance to say anything after that because our lecture started. The professor was about eighty years old and used a microphone to speak so we could hear him. About five minutes into the lecture, I received an email from my student advocate informing me that the school had officially begun its investigation into Professor Dubois and Doctor Perez. Due to evidence from Dr. Perez’s assistant, both employees were under suspension pending the investigation. That was the good news.

The bad news was that the story would break on at least one local station later in the day, but word had already spread, and it was likely to become a national story. My name was currently unknown to reporters or other investigative journalists. However, it would eventually come out, and I should expect journalists and reporters from various news outlets to attempt to contact me for interviews. She encouraged me to retain the services of a lawyer who dealt with these types of cases.

I closed the email and focused on the lecture. I glanced at Velma, who quickly looked away, leaving me to wonder if she’d read my email over my shoulder. I didn’t care either way. I just wanted to talk to her. When the lecture ended, I grabbed her arm.

“Can we talk on our way to the next lecture together? Please?”

Velma regarded me with her patented holier-than-thou glare, and I waited for her to tell me no. To my surprise, her look melted away, and she nodded. We packed our things and left the room. We only had about ten minutes until the next class, calculus, started. Unfortunately, calculus was in the math building, about an eight-minute walk from the chemistry building.

“Where have you been?” I started right when we got outside. “Why haven’t you come to work? Or answered any of my calls and texts?”

“I’m sorry, Jade,” Velma said. “I was mad at you. And then I wasn’t. And then I saw you again, and I was. It’s been a hard week for me.”

I choked back a harsh laugh. “It’s been a hard week for you? Do you know what I’ve been through the last seven days?”

“Well, no. I—”

“Yeah, you don’t,” I interrupted, fighting hard to keep the anger out of my voice. “I caught my dad cheating on my mom. I had to deal with the campus police and the university president after what happened last week with Professor Dubois. My sister moved into the dorms. And during all this, my best friend at work disappears without telling me what the hell is going on. And I was afraid something had happened to you!”

Velma stopped walking. I didn’t realize it for about three steps until I looked back and saw her standing in place on the verge of tears. I went back to her and put my arms around her.

“What’s the matter, Velma?”

She pressed herself into me, facing buried into the crook of my neck, and sobbed. “I had sex. I lost my virginity!”

I steered her over to the nearest bench along the walkway. “What happened? Were you raped?”

She shook her head furiously. “I’m not—I don’t know if I can talk about it.”

“Was it Dan?”

She held still for several seconds, then finally nodded. “What if I’m pregnant?” She put her face into her palms. “What if I’m going to hell?”

“You’re not going to hell, Velma. Have you taken a pregnancy test? Or a Plan B pill?”

“I can’t!” She pulled away from me. “I can’t kill a baby.”

I rolled my eyes. “Plan B pills don’t end pregnancies. They prevent them. Now, do you want to tell me what happened?”

“I was just so stupid!” she began. “I got nervous that night you left work early with your friend, and I had to close up by myself. So I called Dan and asked if he’d walk me to my car. He came and was nice and sweet. He took me to his place to hang out. And we started talking. Then we were kissing. And I was...” She lowered her voice, which was already thick with shame. “I was into it a lot. Wanting some ... attention.”

“You were horny?” I asked.

Velma nodded. “And so I offered him to put it back there like I’d done with my ex-boyfriend. But we didn’t have anything to ease the pressure, so it hurt, and I asked him to stop. So he pulled out. But it was too late. He already put his seed in my...”

“Your special space?” I asked, using her preferred term for her vagina.

Velma started crying again, this time even harder. “No. My butt! I had decided I wouldn’t do that again until marriage, but I was just so stupid. I didn’t stop him. I liked how it felt. So I let him keep going. And he was pushing it in deeper, and like I said, it hurt, but there was so much pleasure, and I am going to hell, and I’m probably pregnant!”

“Pregnant?” I repeated. “You know you can’t get pregnant like that, Velma.”

I held her tight and let her cry out the rest of her tears.

When she finally stopped, I said, “But, if it will make you feel better, let’s go to the university health center. They have free pregnancy testing. At least we can find out if you are pregnant or not.”

“And I’m still on birth control!” Velma cried.

“Wait ... what?”

She nodded, fresh tears starting. “I get terrible cramping and bleeding, so my doctor put me on birth control when I was sixteen. I take it every day.”

I started to laugh; I couldn’t help it this time, and Velma stared at me in shock.

“It’s not funny, Jade!”

“You’re not pregnant.”

“What if God wants to punish me? He could make the pills not work.”

“Why would God do that?”

“To teach me a lesson.”

I sighed and searched my brain for something to say. “Is that how you think God works? Isn’t he supposed to be a loving God? Why would he do that if you messed up?”

“To teach me not to do it again.”

I rubbed Velma’s back lightly and tried to fix her hair, which now hung in strands over her face. “Velma ... look around and tell me what you see.”

Velma glanced up and took in the view for half a second before shrugging. “People going to class.”

“What else?”

“Buildings. Trees. Grass.”

“A beautiful world full of unique people. Think about how amazing our world is. Mountains, deserts, jungles, and oceans. A mind-blowing, incalculable number of animals and plants living in every possible place on earth. Think about how amazing the human body is, with so many organs and systems working in perfect order with each other. Does that seem like it would be created by a petty god who punishes people every chance he gets?”

“No,” she said sullenly.

“I don’t think so either. I see the world and all of its wonders. I see humanity with all its flaws and problems, yet capable of incredible feats. And I think, ‘Wow. God must love us and want us to be happy. If only we can get out of our way.’”

Velma wiped her eyes and nose. “Did you memorize that from a book or something?”

I shook my head. “No. But I’ve had a lot of time to think this week. And a lot of reasons to be angry at the world lately.”

“So what do I do if I’m pregnant?”

I was about to get upset but saw Velma’s face. A little smirk grew on it until it turned into a small laugh. So I laughed with her.

“There’s one more thing I need to talk to you about,” she said.

“What?”

Velma lowered her head again, but this time, I didn’t sense sadness. It was more like embarrassment. “I saw you and Hannah in the library during the summer. I saw you two ... touch each other with your mouths and hands. And kissing. I spied on you.”

“Oh,” was all I could say because I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. “How long did you watch us?”

“A while,” she said quietly. “And I’ve had a hard time not thinking about it ever since. It’s messing with my head.”

“Why?”

“I guess I had an idea of what lesbianism is. You confirmed that for me when I caught you and Fanny rutting against each other. It was gross. But then I saw you and Hannah kiss. It was so beautiful and tender. I saw so much love. I practically felt that kiss. And I don’t think any man has ever kissed me the way you two did it.”

“How do you feel about it now?” I asked, licking my lips involuntarily. When Velma turned back to me, she didn’t look me in the eyes. She looked at my mouth.

“I don’t know. I feel so many things.”

“Tell me some of them.”

“Confusion. Disgust. Anger.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Anything else?”

Velma’s face turned red. “Jealousy. Lust. Desire.”

“Velma...” I said slowly, still deciding whether or not I wanted to say what I was considering. “Do you have feelings for me?”

“What?” Velma asked. “No! Of course not! You’re a female, and so am I. That is unnatural.”

“Do you remember when I told you about Marcy being given a penis from a demon? And how she took me back there?”

“Yes. Why?”

“I didn’t tell you everything. After that happened, she gave me a copy of her gift. The power to grow my own penis. Sort of.”

Velma’s eyes widened, and her gaze went from my mouth to my crotch and back up to my eyes. “What?”

I nodded. “I have a penis. Sometimes.”

“So ... this means—this means if I were to kiss you, it wouldn’t be lesbianism. That’s amazing!” Before I could react, Velma kissed me on the mouth.

I was so caught off guard that I didn’t kiss her back. I pulled away. “Wait—what?”

Velma blinked rapidly as though she couldn’t believe what she had just done. “I guess you and me ... If you have a penis, that means you are a man. And so it’s not a sin.”

“What’s not a sin?”

“To have feelings for a man.”

About two seconds after Velma said those six words, she clamped a hand over her mouth. I had caught on right away. I surveyed her with disgust and stood up to leave.

“Wait!” Velma cried. “I didn’t mean that!”

“Didn’t mean what?” I asked. “That you think I’m a man?”

“That I have feelings...” She stopped again. A gust of wind blew her hair into her face, and Velma scrambled to get it out. I took advantage of the moment and started walking toward our next class for which we were now late. “Jade, wait!”

The walkway was mostly empty now that it was five past the hour and classes had started. A handful of people could be seen lounging on the grass, tossing a frisbee, or sipping coffee on benches while reading. A couple of them turned to look at Velma chasing me down the walkway as I sped toward the mathematics building.

“Jade!” she shouted louder. “Jade!”

“What?” I finally shouted back at her. “What do you want from me, Velma?”