Chapter 5: Mad Cows

The dojo was closed the day when Trinity and Lacey tried to approach the door carrying their gear bags. Trinity pushed on the door and it opened for her, allowing them into the darkened lobby. She turned and bolted the door before leading her friend into the training room. This area was well-lit and they found the two partners heavily engaged in a serious sparring session.

“Jesus!” Lacey exclaimed after watching the two attack each other furiously for a minute. “You actually pay to have these two beat the shit out of you?”

“Yeah, pretty much,” the other girl replied succinctly.

“And ... she gets ... every ... pennies worth!” Hector called out with a winded voice as he saluted them and then ducked just in time to avoid having his head kicked from his shoulders. By silent agreement the match ended and the two partners touched gloves before turning the face the newcomers.

Dominic smiled brightly as he approached. “Ahh! Loco! It is so good to finally make your acquaintance,” he greeted as he held his arms wide and pecked each of her cheeks demurely. “I am by far your biggest fan!”

Lacey blushed at his words. “Um ... that’s a bit over the top coming from a legend like you, Mes ... um Dominic.”

“Hah! Rule numero uno!” Hector admonished waving a finger. “No trying to suck up to the sensei—thinking he will go easier on you!”

“I didn’t...” she tried protesting.

“Don’t worry Lace,” Trinity assured her. “I’ve never once felt like either of these guys has gone easy on me.”

“Quite right!” Dom said turning away. “We have a reputation to uphold with the ladies!” he giggled as he stepped over to the wall. They followed him. “Don’t just stand there! Stretch! Warm up!” he ordered. Trinity immediately began her warm-up routine which took her about ten minutes. Lacey had her own routine which she completed in about the same time. Hector and Dom watched them closely. When the girls were finished, they stood before the instructors, shaking their arms to keep them loose.

“Alright, let’s get started then,” Dom clapped his hands and both girls turned towards their bags. “No! We will not be sparing today!”

Trinity turned on him with a bewildered expression.

“What?” he mocked her with his Israeli accent. “You are the one who say, ‘Ooh Dom, you gotta take it easy on her at first,’ he added scornfully. “I cannot bruise her face because she has to stay pretty for work. I can’t bruise her body ‘cause she has to be able to work ... blah, blah, blah.”

Trinity’s nostrils flared as she glared at him embarrassed.

“So, today I am gonna show you a part of MMA where you both suck really badly!”

Lacey turned to stare at her friend with anguish on her face.

“He is talking about the way you both stomp around the octagon like drunken cows!” Hector added with a cherubic grin.

“Fuck you!” Trinity burst angrily.

“Eww. The little girl is mad at us! Should we be scared?” he aped at her, drawing another string of curses. “Worry not lassees ... um lassettes ... lasses?” he frowned over the confusing term and then broke out in a smile. “For Dom and Hector can teach even clods like you ... how to dance!” he ended his dialogue with a pirouette and jazz hands. Dom waved his jazz hands in concert.

Trinity slumped resignedly. “I know you’re going somewhere with this Dom. And I know it’s gonna hurt. Let’s just get on with it already.”

“Patience, child,” he said soothingly. “First, I need to convince you that what I say is the truth; that you do in fact move like a drunken clod-cow.” He stood easily before her. “Come little clod-cow, take a couple of jabs at me!”

“Dance like a butterfly — sting like a bee!” Hector sang as he circled the three of them slowly. “Cassius Clay ... the Greatest! Now that man knew how to dance!”

‘Oh boy, this is gonna go wrong fast,’ Trinity cringed and then settled easily into her combat pose. She began bouncing on her heels as she studied Dominic for any clue as to what he was thinking or planning. As usual, there was nothing. ‘Here goes... ‘ she struck out with a blinding speed chop that even caught Lacey by surprise. But for all her speed she never came close to landing the hit, before she found herself tumbling through the air to land hard on her left shoulder. Dom had kicked her feet out from under her without even moving his hands to defend himself.

“Ow!” she groaned and she mechanically rolled to her feet and resumed her pose. “That hurt,” she grumbled.

“Clod-cow!” he yelled at her disgustedly. “Again!”

She acted instinctively trying to out-guess his kick as she sprang into the air and swept her toes at his face. Again, her world tilted dramatically and the air exploded out of her lungs as she crashed down onto the mat. She was slower to her feet this time but still resumed her stance.

Dominic sniffed disdainfully and turned towards Lacey. “Now you! Loco clod-cow,” he giggled suddenly, “Come mad-cow, hit me! Kick me! Slap me like the little girl you are!” He stood idly before her while she nervously assumed her stance. With a sharp cry, she lunged forward and promptly flipped completely over in mid-air before landing on her chest with a woosh of air.

“Oh, God!” she gasped.

“Get up!” Hector screamed at her. “The instant you go down — mad-cow, you get back to your feet. Never expose yourself to vulnerability.”

She rolled back to her feet shaking her head to clear it. “Fuck me!” she exclaimed.

“Again!” Dom yelled, standing before her like a statue. Once again, she launched her attack and barely managed to avoid his sweeping leg as it lashed out like a whip. Still, his foot struck hers and she landed badly before catching herself.

“Very good!” he congratulated her. “What did we learn?” he asked them both.

“That I suck at dancing!” Trinity growled, rubbing her shoulder.

“Yes! You both suck at dancing. So tonight, we begin to unlearn and maybe relearn. We shall see. Hector!” He called out. “Bind them!”

The Guatemalan fighter stepped forward with two green silk sashes. He turned Trinity roughly and pulled her arms behind her back.

“What the fuck? Over?” she breathed curiously as her hands were bound tightly behind her back.

A moment later Lacey stood beside her similarly bound.

“Now,” Dom said jovially, “You dance with each other. One point for every kick that brings your opponent down. Begin!”

And so, the two girls turned to each other and began sparring with just their feet. At first, they sidestepped and blocked as they tried to topple one another. Occasionally they wound up colliding and giggled as they tried to get one up on each other.

“Oh, come on!” Dominic cried. “You’re not stomping on grapes, dammit. Fight!”

Lacey scored the first point when she hooked Trinity’s legs and sent her backward on her rump.

“Ow bitch!” she stormed as she rolled back to her feet. She feigned two stomps and then swept Lacey’s feet from beneath her.

“Fuck! You Cow!” the redhead snarled as she clambered back to her stance.

They spent almost a full minute kicking and stomping furiously at one another.

“I may be a cow but I ain’t no heifer!” Trinity growled as she stepped between the other girl’s feet and bumped into her with a full body check that sent Lacey falling backward. Even as she fell the red-haired girl twisted her legs around Trinity’s, causing her to topple over as well.

They scrambled to untangle themselves as Hector and Dominic howled with laughter.

“Enough! On your feet! Make peace.” Dom called waiting for the two panting girls to get back on their feet. “What did we learn?”

Trinity was bent over sucking air as she shook her head. “That ... was hard.”

“No ... balance!” Lacey gasped. As she arched her back in place of windmilling.

“Ah Ha!” Dominic grinned. “We might just be able to unlearn yet. Why was it so hard to maintain balance?”

Both girls looked at each other and drooped their heads, “Center of gravity,” they called out together.

“Yes! You rely too much on your arms when you stomp around like clods. You use your arms because your center of gravity is fucked up!” he lectured as he paced before them. “Hector, unbind them.”

“This is the key to why Crippler kicks the living hell out of her opponents,” he continued as the girls rubbed their wrists. “Show me where you think your center is,” he challenged.

Both immediately touched their belly buttons.

“Wrong!” He shouted. Then he approached them. He poked Trinity sharply in the abdomen three inches above her navel. “Yours is here,” he said sternly and then poked Lacey in her xiphoid process. “And yours is there.”

He stepped back and grabbed his balls. “Mine is here.”

Trinity knew better than to laugh or even hint at it. Lacey did not and the Israeli fighter looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

“You think I jest, mad cow?” he taunted. “Come, knock me over.” He stood before her in a neutral stance. “Come on now, I won’t fight back, I promise,” he encouraged her when he saw her hesitation.

“Rule numero dos,” Hector intoned. “Always do as your sensei directs.”

Lacey sighed with resignation and stepped forward. She placed her hands before her and rocked on the balls of her feet.

“That’s it,” Dom nodded. “Give me a shove. Push me over. Try to topple...”

She cried out and launched herself into him, pushing with all her strength against his solid chest. She might as well have shoved a cement truck. She gasped as she bounced back and then tried to push him with just her body weight. He didn’t budge. “How?” she gasped. “How the fuck...?” Then she straightened with resolve. “Please teach me how you do that.”

“That is what we are doing, child,” he replied softly before turning to his partner. “Hector!”

“Si, Sensei!” the Latino barked back.

“You are Trinity, go show us how you kick.”

They watched as the gay man sauntered over to one of the hanging bags. With every step, he seemed to grow lighter on his feet and he seemed to bounce softly as he squared off with the bag. When he kicked it there was a solid smack! and the bag jerked away from him. He steadied it with a hand.

“Now you are Loco,” Dom called out. “Kick the bag.”

Again, Hector seemed to change his posture in some indiscernible manner as he danced around preparing for his attack. He lept up about a foot and delivered another solid kick that made Trinity grimace as she remembered catching a similar blow from the redhead. The bag shuddered once again.