Chapter 5: Adulthood

♂♂Monday. October 22nd.

For two months, I stayed with Kendryck’s family. I’ve had no contact with my dad, despite Killian and Charlie urging me to talk to him. They would convince me to open my own bank account to store my tips and get a credit card. I looked for an apartment with Kendryck, searching for the cheapest and safest option in Pontiac. We were able to find one in downtown
called the ‘Phoenix Plaza’ for an affordable price. Thankfully, they allowed dogs. With Kendryck working at White Castle and earning a decent paycheck every week, we got our money together for the down payment.

I waited until last minute to return to my dad’s house to retrieve more of my stuff. By then, we’d already started setting up the apartment, getting new furniture with the help of Kendryck’s parents. But there were two things I wanted to get from the house that I forgot to grab the night: my computer and my piano.

The piano was Mom’s. She was a niche musician up until she had the twins. Her name was locally since she’s been on the radio a few times. She’s been on TV, worked with massive artists, and performed at a bar called ‘The Phoenix Den’ every week. Mom started teaching me how to play the piano when I was five. When she died, Dad gave me her piano as remembrance. On the computer are some of her unreleased music I didn’t want to lose.

I sat in the driving for ten minutes before going inside. My dad’s F-150 was in the driveway. There’s still a key to the house on my chain, I go inside without a problem. It’s a Monday, my brothers are at school, Alma is at the library working, and Dad should’ve been in court or his office. But he’s home.

Once I came inside, he emerges from the kitchen. “Vehren,” he exhales, “you’re home.”

“This isn’t my home anymore, remember?” I tilt my head and walk forwards. “I’m just here to get my stuff.”

He watches me walk pass. “We should talk.”

“About what?” I whip around. “You not accepting me because I’m homosexual?! That’s the real reason you kicked me out, not the weed.”

“I’m doing what’s best for our spirits. I won’t allow demons in my house.”

“So you think I’m a demon?”

“I think there’s a demon attached to your spirit. You believe it’s nature, but it’s not. It’s against God.”

“God made me this way.”

“He would never do that.”

I squint my eyes. “Yet here I am. I didn’t wake up one day and decide to love men, Dad. I’ve always been attracted to boys, as mean and ignorant as they are. I find them beautiful, way more than girls. I can’t help that.”

“You can. Through God, you can get rid of your desires.”

“You mean suppress them? I heard that wasn’t healthy either.” I shake my head. “I’m done talking about it. Kendryck and I got an apartment downtown. You won’t have to see me or my demons again.” I head to the kitchen.

“That’s not what I want.”

“That’s what you got.”

“Vehren...” I disappear down the stairs. In the basement, I zip up my computer and piano in their bags and wrap them on each shoulder. I go back upstairs finding Dad sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. I don’t even look in his direction, just open the door and leave for good.

After I start the loud engine, my face scrunches up and tears flow down my cheeks. I try to hold in my cries, but the feelings of abandonment had returned. I let out a horrible holler of pain and punch the steering wheel. “FUCK YOU!” I scream, wiping the tears away. A few breaths later, I back out of the long driveway.

I was relieved to move in with Kendryck. The first night, we celebrated with drinks and weed. I played a few songs on the keyboard, metal music turned into ballads. My voice carries each note well. I have a good control over my vocals and breath. We watched scary movies for the rest of the night. The next day, we both had to work.

Sunday. November 4th.

Kendryck and I wouldn’t share another day off until Sunday. Most of the day, we slept in our rooms from sheer exhaustion. Around three in the afternoon, I finally woke up from my slumber. Lucci is curled in a ball asleep by my side. My room was bland at the moment, I almost didn’t recognize where I was. In the living room, Kendryck ate a bowl of cereal, munching Lucky Charms as she watches ‘Jersey Shore’ on MTV.

I sit next to him with a pack of cigarettes, gluing my eyes to the screen. “We should hit up the strip club tonight.” Kendryck suddenly said.

“Dude, you know I’m gay.” I pop one into my mouth and light the end.

“So what? You don’t think women are attractive at all?”

I shrug, blowing out smoke. “Occasionally.”