Kiss My Apocalips - Cover

Kiss My Apocalips

Copyright© 2023 by blacknight99

Chapter 9: Rocko the Brave

Science Fiction Sex Story: Chapter 9: Rocko the Brave - The story of Jacob Jones and the end of the world

Caution: This Science Fiction Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa   Consensual   Drunk/Drugged   Romantic   Heterosexual   Fiction   War   Science Fiction   Post Apocalypse   DomSub   Harem  

Starting at this point on in our tale, it’s going to be difficult to describe Doriana. From the moment she came into our lives, she had always been a complicated personality. After a while, you might think you’d get to know a person; her needs and desires, her goals and fears and feelings about life. Following this particular interaction, I thought I’d made a bit of a breakthrough toward these insights, but I was mistaken. I don’t think I’ve ever encountered a person so passionate about so many different things. At times, she was as close as anyone I’ve ever met to someone who personified the definition of “sex slave.” But that was only one side of this remarkably multi-faceted woman.

After Wanda drove off, I took the knapsack that she’d delivered into the bunker and started unpacking the things inside. Glancing toward my recently-fucked companion, I asked: “Do you intend to get dressed again?”

But she simply blushed and responded: “Do you want me to?”

The question threw me. “Do you think you should be naked during our little war?”

She flushed even darker. “I’ll do whatever you want.”

I walked back to her and gave her a hug, then held her at arm’s length. “I’m afraid I’d be too distracted to do my job safely and efficiently.”

“Then I’ll get dressed.”

“And I need you to be safe and efficient, too, Doriana! Can you do that for me?”

“I’ll do anything for you, Jacob. I love you.”

I put my right palm against her left cheek, and she closed her eyes and snuggled into it, shuddering slightly. “I love you, too,” I responded. “But now, I need you, Doriana. I need your skill and your expertise to get us through this ordeal. Can you still do that?”

“Anything, Jacob.”

I let her go, and she surprised me by leaning forward and arching up onto her toes to kiss me softly on the lips. Then, she turned and started picking up her clothing.

In the knapsack were two plastic wrapped sandwiches and two cans of soda. I found and turned on one of the tablet computers. This was one of the new ones, and it was about the size and thickness of a piece of stiff cardboard; but it was actually a tough piece of touch-activated plasticized glass with microcircuit tech throughout. I tapped the center of the screen and it lit up with the message “Host will join meeting in:” and there was a countdown clock that was just passing the eleven-minute mark.

I heard another golf cart in the distance, but somewhere in front of us. Looking out in the downhill direction from the bunker, I could see one of the Sallys stop a vehicle next to the open front gate. She got out and tossed all the weapons they’d abandoned when they first drove up to the compound into the back of the cart; then she climbed aboard and drove back up the hill as the gate slowly swung closed. I wondered silently if we’d ever have the chance to open it again.

Doriana was beside me, leaning heavily into me, and she sighed contentedly, as if she was exactly where she wanted to be. “Are the drones all prepped?” I asked her.

“Yes, Jacob.”

“Okay, listen,” I told her earnestly. “I love you, too. But if you really want to please me, you won’t turn into some fawning teenager with a crush so huge that she can’t function. Understand?”

She gave me a laugh that was part giggle. “Yes, Jacob. Of course. The drones are all ready to go. What do you want me to do with them?”

The comment made me reassess. “Tell you what,” I said levelly. “Launch them all on a pre-programmed flight. Once around the mountaintop, return and land.”

She stopped laughing but maintained the smile. “I only have three controllers. I’ll launch the three largest ones.” And she turned and left the bunker. I watched her fiddle with them for a moment; then I went to fetch the folding chair we had used during our little tryst. There was a second chair, as well; and I put them near each other, looking out our long observation window. Finally, I set up one of the slim tablets so we could watch it, and I started unwrapping the two sandwiches. The drones spun up in their distinctive whining buzz, one after the other, and soared into the sky.

“Jacob! You just launch dose drones of yours?” Dmitri’s voice barked over the walkie talkie.

Truth be told, Doriana had completed her task in a fraction of the time I thought it would take. “Yes. We’re just testing the programming,” I answered.

“You give me heart attack!” the man complained. “You gots to tell me before you do someting like dat. What you think if I do something like DIS without telling you?” And one of the guns in our bunker fired off a shot down the hillside. I almost jumped out of my skin.

“Alright! Alright!” I barked. “Point taken! I’m sorry I didn’t warn everybody! The drones are going to make one circuit around the farm and return to land.”

“Okey Bedokey! We have conference call in just a few minutes.”

“We’ve got our tablet. We’re ready when you are,” I responded and set the comm device down as Doriana walked back in and sat in one of the chairs.

“Wow, that rifle is loud in the confined space,” she commented. “Maybe we should get some sound suppressors to wear if these things are going to be going off a lot tomorrow.”

I handed her one of the sandwiches and a soda. “Keep your strength up,” I told her. “You’re eating for two.”

She dutifully took a bite. “I wish I was having your baby,” she told me wistfully. “Back in that other quantum timeline, or whatever you call it, I’m giving my husband the child he wanted. But here, now, with you ... I wish it was yours.”

“It’s ours,” I told her definitively. “It takes a village. He or she will be the first child in OUR village, and I can’t wait to meet the little tyke.”

She sighed. “Wow. You say the right thing most of the time. You’re making me want you again.”

“Most of the time?”

“Well, you are a man, after all.”

The tablet suddenly lit up, showing two rows of three square images: six video scenes. As is usually the case in video conference calls, somebody in each scene seemed to be leaning forward, adjusting the camera angle. I did the same, so that the two of us were centered in our frame. Dmitri and my teacher, Mr. G, were in the first image, and they were obviously in the long command room in the lodge. The second video box contained Juanita, Sadie and the prof, apparently in one of the big conference rooms in the upper floor of the barn. Hannah and Wanda were in the last image in the top row, and they were seated in one of the golf carts on the barn’s main floor. In the bottom row, Doriana and I were first, then the sheriff and the two Sallys in another bunker, and finally Mrs. G and Sofia in the lodge’s big kitchen.

“We gots lots to discuss,” Dmitri told us.

“First,” Juanita interrupted, “we need to thank Sadie for hooking up this secure Bluetooth communications network. It’s completely impregnable by outside forces, and the perfect setup for us. We’ll get everyone extra charging devices that should keep us all up and running for a few days, if necessary. We also have enough headsets to keep us all in constant communication, once we’ve activated the ICS function of the link she designed for us.” Sadie smiled shyly next to her. “And now, lover, what’s first on the Hit Parade?”

“I do not know dis parade of which you speak,” her new fiancée told us. “But my source of information inside evil doctor’s ranks has flew the coop.”

“You going to tell us who he is?” the Sally on the left asked.

“No point keeping secrets anymore,” he answered. “It Sanchez, one of de two chief pilots. Both aircraft, dey stop at Reserve Army base in south part of Oregon. In Mathkalam ... uh...”

“Klamath Falls,” Mr. G interjected.

“Yes. Dat what I said. Him and his copilot, Schutte, dey stay and fuel up aircrafts while others go find trucks on de base. But Sanchez and Schutte, dey not want any part of dis fight, so dey fly off and leave everybody else dare. Dey sabotage other Valor by stealing parts; so, de bad guys, dey not have any working aircraft no more.”

“Ah, Jason Schutte,” Sally-on-the-left said dreamily. “I’m very glad he’s on our side. He’s a very...”

“Attentive lover,” Sally-on-the-right said, an identical look on her face.

“TMI!” Sofia interjected.

“So, no more Valors,” Juanita summed it up.

“What’s a Valor?” Wanda asked.

“The advanced model of the V-280, built by Bell Textron,” Sadie said. “Took the place of the Army’s Black Hawk in the mid-30’s. A tilt-rotor craft that can carry twenty fully-equipped troops, with a combat range of 800 nautical miles.”

“She read an article once,” Sofia guessed.

“SO,” Dmitri took charge of the conversation again. “Mister Teacher here says takes five or six hours to drive truck from dare to here. I don’t tink dey start attack until dey recon dis place in daytime, but we gots to be ready. Everybody stays where dey are now. Barn control room identify targets and operate bomber drones. Mr. Teacher and me, we fire our weapons from here. Peoples in bunkers reload automatic computer-rifles and provide close-in defense. We gots four XM7’s dat we brought wit us. We distribute one for each bunker, along with five twenty-round mags of six-point-eight millimeter ammo. Yes? Jacob, I try come around later, we squeeze off a round or two. No? Just for practice, you and me. Sally, she can teach sheriff, if he needs it.”

“What about the Pilatus?” Juanita asked.

“Dat little airplane pretty neat stuff for rookie pilot like me,” Dmitri answered. “It got us here, but it was never meant for doing anyting like fighting. I tought maybe I use for recon, yes? But Mr. Teacher right, I tink. It gonna rain soon. Plane no good for nuttin’ in bad wedder. I stay here and fight with our new friends.”

“What’s the P.O.D., chief?” Sally-on-the-right asked. “Give us the R.O.E.”

“Yes,” Wanda interjected. “And give it to us in E.N.G.L.I.S.H.”

“The Plan Of the Day,” Juanita said smiling, “is that everybody stays right where they are for the duration of this engagement. We know they’re coming, but we don’t know when they’ll be here. We’ll get SOME notice from our sensors before any attack, but possibly not enough time to get all of us from the lodge to our fighting positions. So, we maintain battle stations. The Sallys can stay in the north bunker for now; but they have to reach their battle stations in the east and west bunkers in two minutes. Hannah and Wanda will use the golf carts to get everything distributed to the people who need it. That includes food, which will be prepared in the kitchen by Sofia and Mrs. Gonzales.”

“Thanks for the great sandwiches, ladies!” I chimed in, and everyone added their voices to the compliment.

“Our logistics team will also take sleeping bags to our bunker buddies, along with extra batteries, ammo for the primary weapons, plus anything else you might need.

“The Rules Of Engagement,” Juanita continued, “are that we hope to do all the shooting from our command centers. We are going to do everything in our power to discourage our former fellows-in-arms without actual casualties; but we’ll use lethal force immediately if we think our lives are in imminent danger. Consider yourselves Weapons-Free with handheld munitions if you see your target and you’re being fired upon; but remain in cover as much as possible. No unnecessary risks.”

“One udder little info piece,” Dmitri commented. “Evil Doctor Hyphen is with dis group dat comes for us.”

“What?!” the professor exclaimed. “Barrington-Smythe is with them? I find that hard to believe! I’ve always considered the man a wretched coward!”

“It makes perfect sense,” Sadie interjected. “We’ve more-or-less taken away his reason for existence in this universe. We’ve made revenge his primary goal in life.”

“Plus, he needs to keep providing some sort of incentive for his troops,” Juanita added. “We don’t really know what that is yet, but it must be something pretty compelling to lead his entire military contingent against a civilian target inside the United States.”

“We find out dat soon enough,” Dmitri said. “As for now, you peoples in de bunkers, you our best line defense. We want give you everyting you need. What tings you want most? We have Hannah and Wanda bring more clothes, bedrolls, food. What else?”

“Sound suppressors,” Doriana chimed in.

“Most excellent suggestion,” Dmitri commented. “What else?”

“Toilet paper,” I thought out loud.

“Even better suggestion.”

“Don’t worry, you guys,” Wanda interrupted. “Hannah and I will take care of you. If the golf carts start running low on charge, we’ll use the black pickup.”

“I be around soon to de bunkers and show how to reload stationary guns,” Dmitri concluded. “Juanita and Sofia have a few new toys for you to play wit, too. We have anodder conference call at dinnertime. I know we make good fighting force. I very proud to serve wit you. For now, stay alert. Goodbye.”

And the screen of the tablet went blank.

The drones returned shortly thereafter, and Doriana and I busied ourselves with plugging in new batteries, while putting the old ones into their chargers. My companion was uncommonly silent during this chore, and I questioned her if anything was wrong.

“I ... I’d like to go talk to Dmitri about something. Would you mind holding down this fort while I do it, please?”

“About what?”

“Can I tell you after I get back?” she asked shyly. “I’ll do whatever you tell me, of course. And I’ll never keep secrets from you. But if I tell you now, you won’t let me do what I think needs to be done.”

I stepped back a pace and studied her. “Wow. I’ve never known you to be so mysterious.” I considered her request for a long moment. “Let me think about it. I’ll give you my answer in an hour.”

But I didn’t have to. As I predicted, Dmitri showed up himself for a visit, just as he said he was planning. He was riding in the passenger-side of a golf cart being driven by Hannah; but one look at our newest “family member” let me know that she, too, had something serious on her mind. Even the normally-happy-go-lucky Russian wore a slightly sour, overly-thoughtful expression that I guessed wasn’t directly connected to our current military tactics problem.

“Dimitri,” Doriana blurted as soon as the cart’s electric motor chugged into silence, “I’d like to talk to you about something!”

“Um ... Doriana...” I tried to interject.

Our new friend held up his hands in mock surrender. “Enough! Please! You only want to say what udders already have! All you lady women people please keep quiet and let us men people talk for five minutes! You can stay and listen. If you still want to yell at poor Dmitri after dat, you free to do it. Deal?”

“What the hell is this all about?” I asked everyone, exasperated.

The man climbed out of the cart and strode into the bunker, slapping me on the shoulder and motioning me to follow as he passed. He pointed to one of the two folding chairs, and I sat, waiting as he plopped himself into the other one. He regarded me thoughtfully.

“Jacob, my friend, I gots to know! How you manage to find five, FIVE, beautiful women dat love you so much? It took me my whole entire life just to find ONE! And she all I can handle! I ain’t never gonna look at no udder one as long as I live! Swear to God! But dese womens of yours, dey worry about you wit all de love a woman can give a man! Dey not jealous. Dey just in love.”

“What in God’s name are you talking about?” I asked.

“Every one of dem, dey come to me and say same ting! Dey tink I come here, take over operation to protect farm! And it not my place! Dis YOUR farm, dey tell me! Farm belong to Jacob, dey say! I should be in bunker and YOU should be in command post! But Jacob, my friend, I swear on stack of bible books, me and Juanita and Sally, we come here to try save and protect Professor Doctor Sarah Greenflow! SHE de one who say we gots to protect everybody in dis farm! DAT why we try make military operation! Dat just someting we know how to do! You understand, my friend?”

I looked toward the doorway leading into the bunker where both Hannah and Doriana stood listening, and I glared at the woman I’d made love to a half hour earlier. “THIS is what you wanted to say to him?” I asked pointedly.

Just a few moments before, she had been shy and submissive, but she returned my gaze firmly. “Jacob, you aren’t even out of high school, and you’re the smartest man I’ve ever met! And the bravest! YOU should be in charge! Always! We all need to follow YOU!”

I sighed and nodded. “Okay, I think I understand now. If you two lady women people would please keep quiet and let us men people talk, I’ll use my superior judgment to make a decision.” They each had the good grace to smile at my joke. I turned back to my new Russian friend. “Dmitri, what is it you want to do when this is all over?”

The question clearly caught him off guard. He shifted and shrugged. “Military all I ever do. Juanita, she wants us to get small farm. Raise chickens and make babies. If dat what makes her happy, den I suppose I do dat.”

I nodded. “Okay then, I would like to hire you as a mercenary group; you and your Warrior Women. You run this military campaign, and if you are successful, I will pay you half of the livestock on this farm. That’s one female calf, one filly, four sheep, three pigs and a whole bunch of chickens. I’ll also have Doriana and Hannah help you set everything up. There are literally hundreds of abandoned small farms all around Acton; so, if you pick one of those, you’ll be close enough to drop in and visit from time to time. Do we have a deal?”

For a moment, I didn’t know what he was doing. He was laughing. “Warrior Women,” he chortled. “I like dat.” He stood and extended his right hand. I stood, as well, and we shook. “You de boss. We gots deal. Me and de Warrior Women, we protect you. Den, I hang up my gun and become farmer-man. Me and Juanita, we raise chickens and pigs and sheep and make babies. Now, let me show you how to reload computerized gun.” He reached into his back pocket, pulled out a magazine full of ammunition and strode over to the nearest gun emplacement.

But before I could follow him, someone grabbed my right elbow and spun me around. And just like that, I was in Hannah’s arms, which snaked around my neck as she pressed those massive breasts into my chest and assaulted my mouth with eager, soft lips. Realizing surrender was my only sane option, I reached around her, pulled her more tightly into myself, and allowed my hands to explore her back. However, it took me the better part of a full minute to determine that she had no intention of ever breaking the kiss; so, I gently took her by the shoulders and pushed her far enough away from me to force our lips apart. We were both struggling for breath, and her eyes were having trouble focusing for a moment before they locked onto my own.

“That was ... masterful,” she whispered. “I ... I need to give myself to you! I need to make you understand that I am yours! That I belong to you!”

I smiled at her raw urgency. “I hope that very soon, we can give ourselves to each other,” I told her softly. “But this isn’t really the time.”

She stepped back away from me, looked down at her shuffling feet, and blushed. The sight of her was enough to make me laugh, but I somehow held it back and turned toward the staring man at the mounted rifle.

“Holy fuck, Jacob!” he said quietly. “How de hell you do dat? Women, dey can’t control selves around you!”

“Trust me when I tell you that before the apocalypse, girls didn’t want to have anything to do with me!” I confided.

Doriana barked a laugh. “High school girls! All they can think about are cliques and phones and football players. They have no idea what to do around a REAL man! And they need a little experience before they can recognize one!”

“Enough!” I laughed. “Let’s get on with our lessons!”

But changing the magazines in the big rifles was ridiculously simple, and even I could achieve the task after a couple tries. Doriana, of course, was an expert almost immediately. Afterwards, the two women huddled for a little private conference for a moment, so Dmitri pulled me to one side for a little confidential talk of his own.

“I put you two in de south bunker for reason,” he conferred. He pointed downhill toward the main gate. “Tings more likely to happen here den in other sectors. Especially if it rains, we may not be able to see clearly. You might have to make decisions for everybody. If some of de fighters wants to switch sides, dey come to gate; want in. If dat happen, we ask you what you want to do. You have to make call, yes?”

I nodded. The idea had never occurred to me, but it sure made sense. “I’ll need a good pair of binoculars,” I told him.

“You gets lots more den just dat. We putting together big bunch supplies for you to use here. Wanda drive it here soon.”

I nodded. The girls had finished their little powwow, so we said our goodbyes and watched them drive off toward the next bunker. I drew Doriana in for a gentle hug, which she gratefully returned, and I asked if she was satisfied with how the conversation had gone. She only nodded and snuggled into me more fervently.

“If you ever have any worries or opinions, then you have to let me know,” I told her seriously. After she again nodded her consent, I told her about what Dmitri had told me concerning fighters coming to the gate, and what we’d be expected to do.

“I don’t think we should let ANYONE in,” she told me after a long moment’s thought. “Or, if we do let them in, we should hold them in the grassy area between the fence and farm, where we can keep an eye on them.”

I smiled patiently at that. “They’d be sitting ducks. Their former allies would know them as traitors and shoot them.”

She seemed to deflate. Twice, she appeared ready to offer further advice, but both times she thought better of the suggestion. Finally, she sighed heavily. “I never even thought of that aspect of this fight.”

“Same here,” I replied. “Give it some consideration. When the time comes, I’ll value your input.”

About an hour later, Wanda showed up in a golf cart laden with supplies that we carried into the concrete enclosure, stacking five boxes in a pile on the floor centered in front of the main door. She announced that she and Sofia would be joining us for dinner that evening; then she gave me a hug, accompanied by a long, sensuous kiss, and she left us.

Unpacking was an hour-long treat, and it revealed winter coats, which was good, because the temperature had been falling steadily throughout the day. There was a small heater, which gave off a faint orangish glow when we plugged it in. In addition to that, there was a box of chemical hand warmers, gloves, arctic pants that went over what we already wore and woolen socks. There were two sets of binoculars, two sets of night vision goggles, and a short, fat telescope on a mini-tripod. In yet another box, we found a low air mattress with a thermal cover, plus a double sleeping bag, pillows and extra blankets. One box contained power food, like jerky, granola bars and trail mix; plus, bottles of water and caffeinated sodas. A small ammo can was full of magazines for the emplaced guns.

And, as promised, there was an automatic assault weapon with extra magazines. The thing had an attached scope along the top of the barrel, and what I assumed to be a sound suppressor at the business-end. Doriana pointed out the little “mode” lever that switched from “Safe” to “Semi-Auto” to “Auto.” In fully automatic, she said, you could hold the trigger down and deplete the whole 20-round magazine in only a few seconds. I decided I wouldn’t be trying it. The thing was obviously capable of delivering quite enough death without that little extra feature.

The surprise-of-the-day was a box that Wanda had handed me separately. She and Sofia had come up with the plan, she told us, and our new military tacticians agreed. The computer printers in the lodge had spit our six hundred copies of a full-page message that they wanted Doriana and me to deliver via our drones. We had to dig back into our instruction manuals to find out if it was even possible; but, believe it or not, there actually was an “Air Drop” feature programmed into the things. It was still going to take a bit of strategizing before we could actually complete such a mission, especially if it was raining. I mean, it was entirely possible that we’d be delivering great big, sodden globs of paper mache instead of leaflets.

The flier was replete with little smiley-face and flower emojis to instill an overall feeling of peace and harmony; and if you knew how she thought, it had “Wanda” written all over it.

“Welcome to Hazy Mountain!” it read in a big, bold font that had fancy serifs. “We’re glad you’ve decided to come and visit us! There are several members of our group who are trained in military tactics and techniques, and they are more than prepared to fight. However, most of us who live here are women who have never sanctioned violence, and who have lived our lives seeking peace and cooperation. We have prevailed (as women so often do) in our attempt to convince our counterparts to welcome you as friends.”

A second paragraph concluded in an even bolder print: “Please walk up our driveway to the main gate and show the cameras mounted there that you are unarmed. Even if your military overlords refuse our offer, we are prepared to receive you individually in the name of amity, goodwill and harmony. We look forward to meeting you.”

“Holy shit!” Doriana said quietly. “I can’t believe Juanita and Dmitri okayed this idea!”

We found out later that Mrs. Gonzales was the one who had really pressed this project. It turns out that she’s a pretty compelling lady, and she had gone to Dmitri personally with the idea. I do believe he was more afraid of offending her than any other person on the mountain. I think it underscored where the real power in the world lies.

After getting everything packed away, I devoted all my time to the problem of the “airdrop” release from the drones. I even went so far as to launch one with a couple of those paper fliers in its cargo hold to see if the programmable function even worked. It did, though the pieces of paper caught the wind and flew off down the mountain somewhere. I hadn’t solved the little problem of water contamination; but I had a few ideas.

By the time I’d finished with that project, Doriana had our little “home” for the night all prepared. Keep in mind that the bunker was entirely open to the air. There was a doorway set into the center of the structure on the uphill side, but there was no actual door. Also, there was a long, twelve-inch opening that ran the entire length of the bunker, from one end to the other, in the downhill-side wall. Despite the openness, the space still felt cramped. The ceiling was six-and-a-half feet above the floor. I know this because I stand six-three, and the roof was a scant three inches from the crown of my head. I had to duck to go through the doorway.

There had been no sunshine at all that day, and the gloom only intensified later. About six o’clock, darkness seemed to wrap itself around us suddenly. We saw the headlights of one of the golf carts approaching along the level gravel pathway that connected our bunker to the one in the west, and when it stopped, Wanda and Sofia got out and brought in a box containing a hot meal. The four of us huddled beneath two large blankets, and we sat close to the little heater, which seemed to glow much brighter in the darkness, as we ate bowls of beef stew and corn muffins. We talked about the events that had led us to this point in our lives and wished the other girls were with us to share in our storytelling.

Our messengers also brought along earpiece headphones, which constituted the promised “intercommunications” system that would allow us all to stay in touch in whatever action we might see the next day. They also provided some degree of noise suppression.

There was another teleconference with the tablet, during which Sadie gave us a quick lesson in the new comm devices. She’d set them up in an interesting way. Instead of being like the walkie-talkies, where only one person could transmit at a time, any number of people could speak concurrently with this system. However, you had to press a button on the side of one earpiece before your voice could be heard. I liked it.

There was no further news about the group heading our way, and Mrs. G voiced the opinion that they might not show up at all. Several of us added our hopes that was the case, but I don’t think anyone actually believed it. The conference ended, and Doriana and I plugged all of our various devices into their charging units for the night. Sofia and I were sharing a blanket, and we cuddled closer in an effort to overcome the effects of the cold and damp air, as did the other two sharing the other blanket. We just sat in silence, staring into the glow of the little heater.

“What’s that sound?” Wanda asked softly.

And Sofia and I answered at the same time: “It’s raining.”

Okay, I haven’t really described Oregon rain to you yet; and for a very good reason. There are about a dozen different types of it, and you can never really be sure which brand of the stuff you’re going to be faced with. I have witnessed periods of several days when the precipitation literally never stopped; but at the end of it all, the amount in the rain gauge registered less than half an inch. I’ve seen other times when we got two or three inches per day, day after day, for a solid week. I’ve seen the sun come out and shine brightly three or four times in an hour, with heavy rain in-between those periods. Thunderstorms in these mountains are extremely rare – and you may only see one or two in the average year. But they DO happen, and they can be real toad-stranglers when you get one. You just can’t tell. But I’m here to tell you: it DOES rain in Oregon.

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