Kiss My Apocalips

Author’s Notes:

There is no city of Acton, Oregon. Nor, to my knowledge, is there a “Hazy Mountain” in that state. All other place names in this story are real.

Despite movies you might have seen, there is no such thing as a “town sheriff.” That position has always been filled through a COUNTY election; and the position of Sheriff, as well as his or her jurisdiction, is akin to other county officials, such as clerks, judges, tax assessors, highway commissioners; the list goes on and on. The law-enforcement function of a town or city (including county seats) is done through a police department, and is headed by a “Chief of Police,” who is appointed by a mayor or a city council. In my little tale, I needed a colorful, independently-elected lawman in a small city environment; and so, I conjured up a sheriff. My apologies to the real Lane County Sheriff’s Department, which is in Eugene. Alas, they did not make it through the apocalypse.

Many thanks to Gordon Johnson, CoullPert, davidl150, and others who offered corrections and suggestions.

I truly thought my title was original (I was actually quite proud of it). My apologies to the rock band “Oh My God! It’s the Church.” It appears they recorded the song “Kiss My ApocaLips” in 2022. I recommend you find and listen to it online. I think it’s quite good.