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Author's Description:
Fifteen year old Trent just wanted to knock up his best friend's little sister and forget about her, but falling in love wasn't part of the plan! Things only get more complicated when Julie decides to show her new boyfriend off to her friends and Trent soon finds himself juggling romance with desire as the prettiest girls in seventh grade try to steal him away.
Size: 830 KB (158,134 words)
Genre: Romantic
Sex Contents: Some Sex
Tags: Ma/Fa, mt/ft, mt/Fa, ft/ft, Fa/ft, Consensual, Romantic, Drunk/Drugged, Heterosexual, Incest, Mother, Son, Daughter, First, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Masturbation, Petting, Sex Toys, Pregnancy, Cream Pie, Exhibitionism

Review by pj   [other reviews by pj]

Reviewed:


This will be, at time of writing, the second review for 'Babymaker'. Sterling wrote the first one and he was a little ambivalent about what he was seeing.

Not so for myself. For I've paid attention to Rachael Ross' weird stories since ASSM was actually a usenet group. To fully understand the story you have to know a little about 'Rache'. Which is just another of the pseudonyms she writes under. There are too many to mention here but I think it's safe to say that there's a different 'author personna' for every genre she addresses; in one genre, she's a horny black girl fixated on white boys, another she's a 'High School Sweetheart', another she's sort of a goth princess bent on doing every dirty deed in the Good Book.

On to the story: 'Babymaker' starts out rather slow and conventionally with the 15 year old protagonist just lately discovering his dick, so to speak, and finding that budding teen girls are just discovering it as well. With the slight difference being that the teenybopper girls he meets are more interested in him as a trophy and status symbol. He figures that's a fair swap, so he curbs his concern about what his age/grade peers might say about being with 'little kids' and goes along for the nookie they are more than willing to put out to claim him as 'Boy Friend'.

Variously, he rationalizes his social faux pas by convincing himself he's in love, or that he has to service those girls' mamas to keep seeing them. Then he realizes he has the power to impregnate and that's a heady feeling for him. I.e; makes him a man.

Rache gives us all the boilerplate stroke stuff. Not only does he end up screwing a lot of the girls' mamas, but his own as well. And, of course, gets most of them pregnant.. naturally all at the same time.

But WAIT -as they say in the 5 minute late night commercials- There's MORE!

What there is ALSO, is an actual plot that emerges several chapters in; one that like pre-cum, ever so subtly makes its way to the surface through the strokes.
You see, Trent is not just your average teen horn-dog, he thinks a lot about what he's doing and who he's doing it with. More so the further entangled he gets in the web of amazonian lust.

Now I have to address the author again. If you've read the story through Chapter 16 and you still don't get the strong sub current of self realization, I suggest you start over and skim from the beginning as I did.

Ms Ross pulls a trick on the stroker-reader and actually builds a subtle morality play without making it obvious. And she does it by the POV narrative and dialogue wording being ever so carefully selected.
And we don't know it till it's happened because of her very accurate 'ear' for conversational wordplay. She is actually in the heads of her characters.

And Babymaker is not a lone example.
If there are ten authors on here whose quality of wordsmithing approaches the masters of Victorian Erotica, Rachael Ross is certainly in that top ten.

If I were kinky enough, I'd just whack to what I fantasize Rache is thinking about at the moment, never mind the story.

Plot: 9 | Technical Quality: 10 | Appeal to Reviewer: 9

Review by Sterling   [other reviews by Sterling]

Reviewed: - (Review Updated: )


Update 10/30/2011: Rache has started writing on this again (my review played a role in getting her to start again, perhaps? Geek joke: Heisenberg shows up happily), so some of what I wrote below no longer applies. She added two more chapters, which do flow seamlessly with the others. After Chapter 9 I'm still waiting for the story to go somewhere -- but her blog promises it will.

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Written something like 10/25/2011: I feel a little uncomfortable reviewing a story by the venerable Rache, without researching her more thoroughly -- but then the purpose of a review is to let readers know whether they'd like the story, right?

Executive summary: This ought to be marked "incomplete and inactive", or have a similar note in the description. Because it feels very much like the start of a story the author abandoned; it doesn't go very far in 400K.

Trent at age 15 decides he likes the idea of impregnating girls, and starts with his best friend's 13-year-old sister. It's a hot premise (for me), and the first 200K or so is very entertaining. Great dialog, what feels like pretty realistic 13-year-olds, humor at meshing the premise with reality. We get a nice tour of sexual positions, and it's pretty hot that way.

As Trent goes about trying to impregnate girls, he finds that the sex makes him kind of love them (infatuation, really). He also can't turn down young fertile pussy, and we have fun watching him get confused about how he can "love" so many girls at once and watch him squirm trying to meet their expectations of one girlfriend at a time.

One problem is that Trent is a simple boy and the story gives no hint his character is going to change at all. After 200K it gets kind of repetitive and the plot never advances. We never even find out if he succeeded in impregnating any of the girls, let alone see the consequences. In fact, 400K of story spans something like -- what, 3 days?

It could be the start of a good if slowly developing story -- probably 4 times the length, but rache didn't get past the first phase.

Plot: N/A | Technical Quality: N/A | Appeal to Reviewer: N/A
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