Reviewed:
Full disclosure: Mike has been a collaborative writing partner and a good friend for years, so I am naturally biased toward his writing as positive.
He has thrown better stories than I may ever write in the garbage because he didn't think they were good enough to publish. Several of my most popular stories are actually ones he began and gave me to publish/illustrate for him.
This one is what I consider to be a classic. short story about a submissive couple that meets a dominant couple. There are some great lines here "if we were going to charge you for our services, you wouldn't have been able to afford us" is geniuis confidence distilled.
Even though the submissive wife has little experience there is never a doubt that the experienced older couple immediately recognized the classic signs of a submissive because Mike painted them in subtle ways like Bob Ross paints trees in the background.
You don't notice them because it's the lake and the mountains are the show, but the trees (little details) make the scene more vibrant and authentic.
Unlike many of my stories that get over the top, Mike doesn't need a lot of sex to happen to get the power exchange and the dynamic developling before your eyes right. I call it "Softcore". It's not that it's not thrilling, it's just that it hits in a relatable "Yes, this is a slice of life moment in these people's lives".
Grammatically/technically nearly flawless. I can never write without introducing a ton of errors but Mike's stuff is usually nearly perfect in the first draft.
My one gripe is that by the time Mike wraps up, I always fall in love with the characters he creates and want to hear more.
He uses a sort of minimalism in creating the personalities that strangely create more depth than me. I tend to try to write complex characters with idiosynracies and habits. It's precisely that Mike does not is that they often seem more reltable because it's easier to visualize them.
Dialogue is one area we disagree upon. In my own (real world) I ask why a lot. If you tell me something, it's like begging the question. I usually continue dialogue with forward momentum after someone makes a statement that surprises me.
In this story, there are times I wished to know the context of the expectations of the older couple. However, what I really liked is that on the times the submissive asks for clarification, it seemed like the older dominant would call her out
"Are you interested in doing this or telling me why you shouldn't" and he funnels her communication in a way that a good dominant would. He does not shut down communication or silence her. He just channels it so that she knows she cannot just ramble or top from the bottom. He is going to answer but in his own way and his own time - but first she must respond in a way that is pleasing.
This simple act may seem silly unless you''ve ever been in this situation when a new subbie is nervous. The calming but assertive way that the experienced dominant sets the rules of engagement early are authentic to me.
If you are looking for "He put this dick in that hole and I said mmmmm" stroker story this is not that. It's a nice slice of what BDSM brings to the table. Sex is more of a byproduct or side effect of the relationship.
I enjoyed it.
I haven't heard from Mike in several months and I hope that he is okay. He may have started up on some other site that appreciates the softcore imagery he paints.