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Author's Description:
Novel length story about Michael Dane, set in today's world, will include fantasy, technology, sex, love, loss, commitment and redemption themes.
Size: 714 KB (132,315 words)
Genre: Action/Adventure
Sex Contents: Much Sex
Tags: Ma/Fa, mt/Fa, Fa/Fa, ft/ft, Fa/ft, Consensual, Mind Control, Magic, Lesbian, BiSexual, Heterosexual, Fiction, Science Fiction, Paranormal, Rough, Light Bond, Group Sex, Orgy, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Masturbation, Sex Toys, Squirting, Exhibitionism, Voyeurism, Size, Body Modification

Review by The Black Knight   [other reviews by The Black Knight]

Reviewed:


This is another story I'm conflicted over. At times, Vjax displays flashes of brilliance in this story; the literary flourishes of his descriptive prose can be amazing. Unfortunately, there are also tell-tale signs that his depth of talent is offset by a paucity of skill. This is something that is overcome rather more readily than the opposite situation, however.

Technically, the story was a mess. The author claims that, with the recent acquisition of an editor, the sequel will be of higher quality, and hopefully not only is that true, but this story will also be edited. Unfortunately in it's current form, the volume of typographical errors, the inconsistent use of tenses, the dreadful grammar, and the lapses in continuity made the story less than it could have been.

On characterization, the story is rather schizophrenic: the 'heroes' are almost all terribly well realized, developed, and consistent. On the 'villains' however, it falls into the old trap of creating largely one-dimensional cutouts who are so flawed it's rather amazing they've survived as long as they have. There are many shades of gray that will serve just as well as black, and authors should keep this in mind when creating villains. Villains, after all, should really be the most interesting part of the story.

The story itself is classic fantasy epic; several cliche elements are folded together, and enough mystery remains at the end of Book 1 that perhaps it can somehow find a fair degree of originality. The story, while not clearly original, makes up for that in intensity. The reader will find many of the 'heroes' interesting, if not fascinating, and be carried along by the plot and by the curiosity about all the secrets left unanswered through so much of the story.

As for stroke, I chose not to rate that, as this clearly isn't intended to be a stroke story. Much of the sexual content is quite good, but it does make up a fairly minor part of the story.

In summary, someone looking for pure stroke or someone looking for publishing-quality writing should look elsewhere. Anyone looking for a workmanlike epic fantasy which may just turn out to be the first story from one of the next decade's really good writers might be more interested in giving it a try, although I would still recommend giving it a couple months (or however long it takes until the story is completely re-edited) before reading it.

For the record: I actually deducted a point from the 'Appeal' rating due to the poor quality. I actually really liked the story.

Plot: 9 | Technical Quality: 5 | Appeal to Reviewer: 8
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