When an ex-boyfriend tries to dump Mike's friend Dana in the most humiliating way possible, he reacts as any guy would about the girl he loves (even if she doesn't know about it). Can she figure out how he feels, and does she feel the same way?
Size: 39 KB (7,640 words)
Genre: Erotica
Sex Contents: Much Sex
Tags: mt/ft, Teenagers, Romantic, First
Review by Marius-6 [other reviews by Marius-6]
Reviewed:
Enjoyable short story well written, portraying True Love; believable, if sadly uncommon today. The girl next door, pretty and popular, and her longtime friend who thought he was out of her league, despite their friendship since they were children.
For a short story there are a number of interesting characters, besides the MC and his lady love. Strong female character, yet she is balanced, she is an extrovert, but not a narcissist. Nor is she constantly seeking to be the center of attention, but a believably popular character. She is willing to go after what she wants.
The MC is no milktoast. He is somewhat introverted, but willing to be social, and again a believable character. I attended high school in the late 70's/early 80's; but in many ways the "world" portrayed is foreign to me. I have the impression the story is set in the Midwest of the USA (nothing I can site). Class rings as a significant token is not something I can relate to; other than in "old" movies and books.
Yet, I met people, married couples, while I was in the US Army who had come from such places (and were still happily married). So, I find this story believable (if just). The sex scene is well written, like the rest of the story, and it conveys information about the characters. It cemented in my mind that the female character is the "stronger" personality in the couple, in a healthy way. Few couples are truly equals. The MC is no less a "Man" for his woman being stronger, but not domineering. He too demonstrates initiative at key times.
Believable characters because they are not flawless; although I feel that at times, we "see" things through the MC's "rose tinted glasses" (just my perception) {a Feature, not a bug}. The sex scene is passionate, a bit erotic, but not over the top. It contributes to character development (or perhaps to just Showing character aspects that we otherwise would not have seen). Both characters are virgins, yet taking into account strong emotions, and a lifelong relationship, it is believable.
I was browsing the "Lost Stories" section of the Forum and someone was looking for this story, but couldn't remember the name of the story, nor the author. Someone posted the link, and I am glad to have found this little gem. At 7.46 when I read it, I think it is underrated. I hope others read this story, and maybe give it a "little love" so that it comes to the attention of even more readers. This is a story that deserves to be read and remembered.
Plot: 8 is a high rating for me in a short story. Usually, I would rate a short story plot from 4 to 6, unless there is an interesting plot. This takes the "Girl Next Door" trope, does it well, and adds a bit more; quite a bit for so short a story.
Technical: 9 I didn't notice any errors.
Appeal: 9 While in many ways I have difficulty relating to this story, I found it sweet and uplifting, yet believable too.
