Can attractions truly be uncontrollable? I was adamant they couldn't but then again, I'd never seen anyone like Keira.
Size: 181 KB (32,552 words)
Genre: Erotica
Sex Contents: Much Sex
Tags: Ma/ft, Romantic, Heterosexual, Fiction
Review by Belinda LaPage [other reviews by Belinda LaPage]
Reviewed:
Sebastian is a quiet, creative type; 25-yo, rides a cool motorbike, kind of the black-sheep of his family in a not-very-rebellious way. Keira is young, vivacious, funny and very pretty in an unconventional kind of way.
Their eyes meet across a crowded room and they both instantly know that they must be together. This, people, is a love story.
Have I forgotten anything? Oh yeah, that's right: Kiera's FOURTEEN! Yep, a slim, sexy, innocent, curious, post-pubescent virgin. Have mercy!
I started this story late in the evening and only got through the first chapter before I realised if I kept reading, then I would have to finish all 13 chapters. I felt so strongly about it, I sent a note to @Renpret to thank him (?) for that one chapter.
My next reading opportunity was only 30 mins and I got up to Ch.05. Once again: so good I wrote to the author. And yet there was still no sex. Just beautiful prose, plot and characters.
Those are the build-up chapters and they are beautifully written and absorbing. After that it gets sexy and stays that way right through to the end. And when I say sexy, I mean REALLY sexy. Very explicit, very sensual, very visual and visceral.
Probably the cleverest thing about this story is that it captures TWO fantasies: the adult male who wants to relive the lustful roller-coaster of infatuation from their teenage years through the lens of maturity; the other is those women whose first time was a disappointment (I hear dat!) and wish they could have shared that special time with someone loving and patient who would tend their needs.
There's something here for readers of both sexes. The primary narrator is Sebastian (first person), but there are long passages of 3rd person narrative from Keira's POV that explore her feelings and emotions. Sadly I think all of the sex was from Sebastian's POV.
PLOT: 10 (Amazing) - A nice set up for the purpose of exploring a long and repeated loving liason between a minor and an adult without being really creepy.
The plot got a little lost after the first sex scene. Chapters 1-10 worked progressively towards the predictable (but lovely) goal of the story, revealing the characters and challenges at a nice pace. The remaining chapters were more and more super-charged hot sex (which is good!) but they didn't progress the plot.
This story could have been three chapters shorter and still every bit as good (or even better). That said, I saw no crimes worthy of deducting a mark.
TECHNICAL: 10 (Amazing) - Spelling, grammar, sentence and paragraph structure are very clean. Renpret apologises for the shifting POV in his bio, but he uses it to good effect to give both sides of the romance, making sure to only perform the switches at chapter and section breaks.
There was one section in the middle where the perspective shifts felt a bit too rapid, with one shift to Keira's mother that pulled me out of the story altogether. Once again, an incredible use of language and style and nothing worthy of a deduction.
APPEAL TO ME: 9 (Great) - Really great story that I loved. Sexy loving characters that I loved. Super hot, steamy, slow sex that I loved.
The only things I didn't like are purely personal to me, but that's what this category is about. So sue me. The almost obsessive attention to food, Keira's clothes and naming of parts of genitalia kept getting in the way of my total immersion in the story. The term "crown" for "cock head" is not one I have heard before, but it featured over 20 times in the last two chapters - about the same as each of "cock" and "shaft", but I didn't notice those. "Crown" felt repeated because it was unfamiliar to me.
I don't think this type of critique is any help to authors because it is so personal and arbitrary, but I could have enjoyed it more and feel I owe it to the author to explain why this truly exceptional story did not appeal to me as a 10.
VERDICT: 10 (Most Amazing) - It IS amazing. I notice Renpret has a lot more stories that cannot be published on SOL because of age restrictions. They are now on my reading list.
