Jacqueline Jillinghoff: Blog

Happy new year to all my friends at SOL. I have not been at the site much of late, since I've been busy expanding and revising one of my earler effforts. Last week, however, I was inspired to write a little flash story about a girl and her dad, which I finished this morning. It's called, for want of a better title, After the Bath, and it has just been posted.

The heat wave has passed here in the Northeast, and the air is so delightful I am spending my weekend in the nude. The thing about doing regular activities naked, even something as mundane as washing the dishes, is that I do them more deliberately, savoring the way my body feels as I go about the simplest tasks. Everything seems slightly more vivid.

I do get dressed when I leave the apartment, of course, although yesterday, I bicycled to the nature center in the city and took a couple naked walks. The trails were practically deserted--I say practically because the sudden appearance of three hikers sent me scrambling for my clothes. (Ever wonder where my character Danielle gets her exhibitionist streak?)

On the literary front, I have begun to revise and expand "Occasions of Sin." The story, about a Catholic schoolgirl discovering her sexuality, received a good response, but it ends rather too abruptly. I have been working on adding a few plot complications that will allow Cindy to experience a wider range of sexual expression--some of her own devising, some that will be imposed on her. Everything will be posted at once, when I am sure it's ready.

This morning I received a thoughtful comment on my story "Occasions of Sin," and I'd like to share it:

"A really great story, full of the perverse sex that religious or social restrictions encourage. All young people should be taught and encouraged to love as they choose, hetero or homo. There are certain instincts basic to mammalian life: eating, drinking, sleeping, sociability and sex. Fucking with any of these leads to perversity - even murder and wars."

This reader is on to something. In America, esp., it's almost impossible to have a sober, public discussion about sexual pleasure. Such attempts are invariably met with either outrage or ridicule. (A surgeon general was once laughed out of office for daring to answer a question about masturbation.) On the other hand, I wouldn't regard all of the sex in this story, or even most of it, as perverted. The adults may be hypocrites, but the kids are learning to express their sexuality in their own way, making themselves feel good in spite of the restrictions. The boy's little kink might be permanent, or it might be a temporary way of coping with the pressure he's under as a victim of bullying at school, but in either case, it's presented, I hope, in a positive light.

The final chapters of Occasions of Sin are up and done. One reader, after seeing the earlier chapters, said he wanted Cindy to find supportive hugs. Well, she has, and then some. In my stories the kids always triumph in the end.

As always, feedback is welcomed, esp. for this story, which is one of my most personal.

First off, thanks to everyone who responded so warmly to my previous blog post, Author's Apologia, which has generated more feedback than anything else I've written at SOL. It's encouraging to know so many of you support an author's choice to explore any subject matter.

Chapter 5 of Occasions of Sin, the story that started the whole brouhaha, is now up and ready for inspection. In this installment, Cindy, on her way home from her two confusing encounters at school, stops by the library to read up on sex. In the end, she satisfies more than her curiosity.