Jacqueline Jillinghoff: Blog

This morning I received a thoughtful comment on my story "Occasions of Sin," and I'd like to share it:

"A really great story, full of the perverse sex that religious or social restrictions encourage. All young people should be taught and encouraged to love as they choose, hetero or homo. There are certain instincts basic to mammalian life: eating, drinking, sleeping, sociability and sex. Fucking with any of these leads to perversity - even murder and wars."

This reader is on to something. In America, esp., it's almost impossible to have a sober, public discussion about sexual pleasure. Such attempts are invariably met with either outrage or ridicule. (A surgeon general was once laughed out of office for daring to answer a question about masturbation.) On the other hand, I wouldn't regard all of the sex in this story, or even most of it, as perverted. The adults may be hypocrites, but the kids are learning to express their sexuality in their own way, making themselves feel good in spite of the restrictions. The boy's little kink might be permanent, or it might be a temporary way of coping with the pressure he's under as a victim of bullying at school, but in either case, it's presented, I hope, in a positive light.

The final chapters of Occasions of Sin are up and done. One reader, after seeing the earlier chapters, said he wanted Cindy to find supportive hugs. Well, she has, and then some. In my stories the kids always triumph in the end.

As always, feedback is welcomed, esp. for this story, which is one of my most personal.

First off, thanks to everyone who responded so warmly to my previous blog post, Author's Apologia, which has generated more feedback than anything else I've written at SOL. It's encouraging to know so many of you support an author's choice to explore any subject matter.

Chapter 5 of Occasions of Sin, the story that started the whole brouhaha, is now up and ready for inspection. In this installment, Cindy, on her way home from her two confusing encounters at school, stops by the library to read up on sex. In the end, she satisfies more than her curiosity.

I want to take a moment to thank everyone who has responded so warmly to "Occasions of Sin."

Yesterday, however, I received feedback from a reader who was not so receptive. In fact, he was offended by what he saw as my insensitivity toward victims of sexual abuse by priests. He said he gave the story a low rating, and ended with a plea: "Please consider employing other methods of writing that doesn't offend a particular group or

religion."

I'm not quite sure just what the reader found so insensitive: the fact that I was writing about abuse, or the fact that, in the story, the victim manages to enjoy herself. If the former, then I would say that any topic is legitimate grist for a story, and it is part of a writer's job to shine a spotlight on the darker corners of our existence. If the latter, then I would say that perhaps not all victims regard themselves as such, and this is, after all, erotica. I have always believed sex should be fun, if only for the girl. For this reason, I have never written about an unequivocal instance of rape.

All writers mine their pasts, and a rich vein of my past is the experience of Catholic school. "Occasions of Sin," like much of my other work at SOL, refashions my memories with an erotic twist -- and if that means depicting members of my former faith as sexual beings, even as sexual predators, then so be it. It's the best I can do.

I also can't be the only writer in the world who thinks girls in school uniforms are hot.

To paraphrase Scott Fitzgerald, my material might not be to your liking, but, my God!, it is my material, and all I have to deal with.

Chapter 3 of Occasions of Sin has been posted. So far, Cindy has only had herself to play with. Now she finds a partner--or, more accurately, he finds her. This is as far as I've gotten with this story. Chapter 4 is only in the imaging stage, so it might be a while.

Response so far has been positive, and I've received more comments than usual. Thanks to all everyone who has sent feedback.

And by the way, after enabling comments for a short time, at a reader's suggestion, I've decided to go back to my old policy of not allowing them. Sorry, but I don't like people scribbling on my prose, and that's what it feels like to have comments appear in the body of a story.