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I read this to get some slave ideas and it sure didnt disappoint. Not my cup of tea because of the brutality but you wrote the scenes well and some were pretty damn hot. Dont let the votes get you down, write what you like and people will read.
Replies: engulfdevour
I appreciate the advice.
The scenes of over-the-top brutality of women have a purpose in the story. There are multiple themes that I am going for in the story, for example, the use of Technology to encourage some of the worst aspects of human nature.
In this story's dystopian world, brutality is one of the tools used for the dehumanization of women by a tyrannical government and a totalitarian society. Some of the literary influences for the story include Aldous Huxley's "Brave New World" and Margaret Atwood's "The Handmaid's Tale".
This story is like the ultimate misogynistic fantasy. It's so wrong on so many levels and that's what makes it fun.
Replies: engulfdevour
Thanks for the comment. It made my day.
When I look at the Vote Distribution of the Scores for the story, it is U shaped. Readers either hate it or love it.
I am not sure why I am getting formatting errors in some of my chapters of "Indentured: a New Beginning".
I submit all my chapters as raw text and all that needs to be done is to cut-and-paste the text during editing. No formatting required.
I had to resubmit Chapters 1, 2, and 8 to get rid of some weird formatting.
I will be posting the answers to questions from readers, when I have the reader's permission, on this blog.
> This story has an outstanding concept! Thank you for sharing it.
I'm glad you enjoyed it. If you have any questions or suggestions, feel free to send them.
> Just a pet girl in every home and lots of pony girls on ranches.
There are going to be plenty of pet girls in this story.
I have a story that I am writing called "Taking Ownership of Belinda" that has pony girls on ranches. I have not written as many chapters for it as I have for "Indentured: a New Beginning".
> Oh, what about old fashioned wife who gets one for her
> birthday? She can't very well turn it down but she doesn't
> want a pet girl! It'd create competition for her husband's
> affection! What's she going to do with it?!
Almost all of the old fashioned wives have been enslaved due to pressures from the government and society. At the start of the story, the main character Tom had just enslaved his wife Katherine, who's slave name is Cumtunnels. Tom was one of the last few holdouts in having a wife.
I do set up competition for the affections of the main character between the various women he interacts with.
> So did I jump into the story part way? Here was me thinking how
> great it was that you wrote it that way! Now I must look for
> earlier chapters or something... unless all that will become
> apparent later on, which is a way I love writers to structure
> their stories.
It was written that way. The story does start part way in. This gives a bit of mystery of what is going on and what happened in the past. The backstory of Tom enslaving his wife because he felt betrayed by his wife when he finds out she is keeping secrets from him is revealed throughout the story.
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