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I've written a lot of the first chapter. Not necessarily all of it, but a lot. That doesn't even include getting it looked over by my editors...
The reason I'm saying this is because I've just received an invitation to start night classes for Java certification, as well as two others. What nights those land on, I don't know yet. Whether I'm in as a sure thing, I don't know either. I'll post again when I know more. I'm posting this because I haven't forgotten what I've promised, but it may be delayed further while I'm in training. Not halted, but slowed down more.
The good news is that I already know how chapter two is going to go, as well as chapter three. It's getting chapter one finished the way I want it that has been hampering things.
I'll post again either tomorrow or Thursday when I know more about the classes, as well as to state where I am with chapter one.
Hope everyone is having a good spring,
TD
Additional...
I received an email confirming that I've been accepted for a webinar on May 15. That gives me time to finish as much as I can before my schedule tightens further.
I'm very close to finishing chapter one. Should have it sent off to editors by monday.
I've received a couple of emails asking when I'm going to start posting my next story. To be honest, I've been ready to start for a while, but I've let myself off the hook so-to-speak by working on drawing book covers for all of my stories. The problem I've run into is that I cannot use actual photos no matter how much I manipulate them because those photos came from the web and everything posted on the web is copywritten. I'd have to have written permission from the models and possible the photographers to use them in any capacity.
Anyway... I've also stalled in writing because of the very opening. I'm not sure where to start. I've considered starting the day after Child Magus leaves off, or give it another week in between. As ambiguous as Child Magus ended (date wise) I'm happy to start this one a week later - I even have a viable reason why (which everyone will find out once I do start writing).
The real problem is the very start - the first words. I considered starting with a dream like in Child Magus, but decided against that...
Hold on just a second. I just had a thought. Don't ask how it is I'll try to explain something like this to someone else and even in writing it I'll come up with a solution on my own.
Thanks for being my soundboard this time around! :)
TD
Oh, I should have the first chapters up in about a week, now that I have a beginning. :D
--==( Internet Access )==--
No, I don't have access at home, but being that it's tax season, and my mom has gotten her return, I've helped her find a decent laptop to play around on. This means that I'll be able to post blogs of my progress as I work on my next story, and post chapters as they're complete. :D
--==( Sibling Magus )==--
I haven't started writing chapters yet, but that's only because I've been putting together and organizing all of the details needed for this story as well as the next one. The plan is to make it a two-part finale to the Lockdown story-arch. As if the cast for Child Magus wasn't big enough, I'll be introducing more characters. At this point, there are no plans for Seth to acquire anymore Fonti though.
Some of the ideas/sub-plots I've been working on...
* The real source of the Lockdown, who's behind it, how it works, and why...
* Seth's family and their issues...
* Other factions interested in the Lockdown for different reasons...
* Oh, and spells - lots of spells...
Progress...
So far I've put together an overall outline of the major problems. I've listed primary and secondary events that should take place. I've started on a chapter outline so I'll have a rough idea of what should happen in each chapter. And I've worked up different off-stage scenes that will help me understand why some of the characters do and say what they do.
--==( Feedback )==--
Here are a few emails I've received...
Very well worked out. The biggest problem I see with magic in stories is that everything becomes either too easy for the hero, too dark with evil, or just too chaotic and pointless. You provided a natural, slow, very effective development to a positive climax. You came up with useful constraints to challenge Seth, and the overall story hangs together very well. I like the characters as well; the women are interesting individuals instead of cardboard cutouts. Finally, allowing the villain to enjoy character development is a welcome change from the cliché of pointless humiliation.
I look forward to a sequel.
Response:
Issues with Magic: I'm forced to recall the a discussion between Scrimgeour and the Prime Minister in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. The PM said, "But for heaven's sake--you're wizards! You can do magic! Surely you can sort out--well--anything!" and Scrimgeour's response was, "The trouble is, the other side can do magic too, Prime Minister."
To me, what this really means is that magic is like any tool or weapon - it is what it is. Any meaning, any persona comes from the user. A hammer can be used to either help build a house, or tear one down. It can also be used for murder. In the hands of different users, it has different purposes. Magic should be the same. And in my world, that will make the difference between how Seth uses magic and how anyone who wishes him, his girls, or anyone else harm uses it too.
Will magic make things too easy for the hero? Not likely, especially since he'll be working against others who have used magic a lot longer than him. Will the magic be "too evil?" That would depend on your definition of evil. What one person perceives as justified use, another may see as evil. Yet they both use the same spells. Will magic be too chaotic? To some degree, I hope so. Yes, I do (and I'll explain that in a sec). Will magic be pointless? Well, I hope not.
I've watched a LOT of crime shows and one thing is always constant - any gunfight, any dispute, any problem that calls for the help of the show's stars is going to be confusing, until all the details are deciphered through the evidence. Otherwise, what's the point of the show? So, yes, I hope magic is a little confusing in my stories. Otherwise, what's the point of the story if how everything works is easy enough for anyone to figure out?
Congratulations on an excellent story rewrite!
I have to say that I was quite sucked into your revised story and I think that almost all of the problems that I saw with the first draft were well resolved in the revision. It was compelling enough that I read it in one (very long) sitting.
If you don't mind a little quibbling, I will mention one or two things that I think the next story would do well to address.
1) Did bonding to Katrina lead to the repeat of the initiation ceremony? Since we have spend more narrative time with her than any of the other women, the reader would like to see more Katrina backstory, as well as resolving the ongoing plot device of Seth's increasingly worrying reaction to the binding. You have foreshadowed that this effect might end with his binding the "correct" number of fonti, but with the ending as it is, this issue is unresolved.
2) Why is Danielle rolling over and playing dead in the divorce proceedings? Isn't Texas a community property state? She has the right to at least half of the assets without fighting, not tomention that her husband was abusive. Without lifting a finger, any good divorce lawyer should be able to get her a great settlement, and even a crappy one could get her half. This has the added advantage of developing some extra outside conflict for Seth to deal with (a la the rapist boyfriend in the Protector series).
3) I'm sure that the next will be developed in the next installment, but I couldn't help but wonder why the women are staying away from Seth so successfully, when it is made clear that the longing for touch is getting stronger. Shouldn't Seth's apartment be congregation central for the girls? I can't imagine that especially Erica and her roommate would be over all the time. It would seem to be really hard for Vanessa and Sammi to stay away. Perhaps Jana, since she has issues, but not the others. I would expect to see at least the others getting a sweetheart deal from Milena to move into the apartment complex. Yet the reader is left with the impression that the girls are going on with their lives without suffering the same longing that Seth has. I would expect it to be worse for the girls than for Seth.
4) Finally, speaking of all the time, the last story doesn't resolve how Katrina is going to be able to live with Seth without getting sick. Her living there makes sense from a D/s standpoint, but the early chapters make clear that too much contact with Seth leads to draining.
Overall, a great story, although I felt like I was reading Star Trek III (where the whole movie was taking back Spock's death), as the whole story felt like an interlude before we got back to the main plot arc. Keep up the good work and I look forward to the next installment...
Response:
1) Honestly, I thought I added enough of Katrina's backstory, both from her directly when she was answering questions from Seth and Jordan, as well as in the Summary chapter (35), to not need a full scene. I thought it would have been redundant. However, Seth's concerns are still viable and not something that would vanish once he had enough fonti. And as to the "correct" number of fonti... who says Seth has reached it?
2) We're going to see more about Danielle's divorce in the next story, so I'm going to leave those questions unanswered for now.
3) Child Magus took place over a period of five days, and the stronger effects of the bonds were only noticed toward the end of the story. I may have to re-write the summary chapter to include what you're describing because, yes, they would all be drawn to Seth even unconsciously (going out for a drive, with no real destination in mind, until they are parked in front of his apartment). As for the others getting a sweetheart deal from Milena to move into the apartment complex... No. It's not a jealousy thing, but she doesn't own the apartments, she simply manages them. If one or more of the girls apply for an apartment (say Leanne and Erica) then Milena might help them get in, but she's not in a position to give anything away.
4) Clarification: Contact with Seth doesn't drain the girls. Sex does. If Seth and Katrina get into the habit of having more-than-prescribed amounts of sex, then yes, Katrina is in danger, but her simply living there, even sleeping next to him (without sex) will not hurt her. It might drive them both nuts, but it won't hurt her.
The only problem with starting any series of stories with something unusual (magic/psychics/high tech gadgetry) requires explanations of how it all works. The High-tech stuff is easy to accept, especially in movies, where it's seen and played with so viewers know what's going on, but to describe devices that haven't been invented yet is something I'm not sure I can pull off. Magic and Psychic powers tho, I can deal with because there's already a level of expectation - being that the reader won't necessarily understand all the complexities of that kind of thing and therefore all the tiniest details don't have to be explained. For continuity purposes, I have to understand it in detail, but as long as the characters know how it works then that's all that really matters in the story. Of course, the same could be said for high-tech stuff too. So, really, these first two stories were meant to introduce the main characters, allow readers to understand what kind of world they live in, and to get to know the ins and outs of that world.
Like any normal story, I saw certain goals being aimed for and achieved (New Magus: Seth has to get through his Initiation. Child Magus: Seth has to truly understand his heritage and attain enough Fonti to keep himself and everyone else safe). In those stories, the conflict was primarily internal. Seth never could have believed that anyone wanted to have sex with him under normal circumstances (it took magic for it to happen, on Jordan's part). And once he got past the idea of sex, then there was the rationalization of magic. Most people would laugh it off and think Jordan needed a visit from the guys in white with a special coat for her. However, once past the laughing-it-off stage, what then? We saw that. Seth had viable explanations for everything up until the Finale. That was his moment of acceptance. In Child Magus, Seth didn't like the idea of putting anyone in danger, not his girls, not even strangers. He fought the idea of seducing more women to himself. If anyone else had been in his position, they would have simply asked, "Where's the best place was to pick up chicks?" Once he got past that barrier, then it was other issues that he faced and overcame.
For the next story(ies), Seth will be facing external issues. He's past his issues of accepting magic and doing what he needs to to take care of himself and his girls. So, now he's getting involved in other issues, not because he's nosy or got a hero complex, but because his hand is forced.
Hi, You gave me another great story. The only thing I find disturbing is you describe just 2 days of his life. I get it, first his Initiation (2 days) then his search for fonte (2 other days) but the problem is the few weeks between these events. For those, it's just a little summary.
For the rest, it was awesome. How he got his new fonte was interesting for most part (the exception: the land lady). The best part was Cass and Katrina. It was good to see him take charge.
He is a magus with 10 fonte and a model but he still lacks confidence. It would be good if he realizes he is good looking and women find him attractive (most of his fonte were attracted to him WITHOUT his fetish). He also think he is responsible for his women so I would like him to show it and take charge more often. Don't change him too much but just give him a little ego boost.
Regarding his origin. I don't know if he is going back to his home town to find out (after he catches the 'magic stealer') but I would like to read that.
In your other story (master PC) the hero was adopted (ie the summary). I just started reading the story and the action takes place in the same University so I hope the hero is not also adopted in this serie. Either he became a magus without a heritage or his mother was knocked up by another man than his father, she was seduced by a magus and told people she was raped (because telling she cheated on her husband would make her lookk bad. If one of the parents were a magus the other one would die so I only see these 3 options. I think the latter idea would be better because it would explain why he was not loved (that's how he felt). His father would know Seth isn't his son and his mother would be reminded of a the mystake she made every time she looks at Seth.
That's just my idea on the subject. I trust you to continue this excellent story.
Response:
Story Time-Lines: In New Magus, I originally planned on three days, but it didn't work out that way, which for that story was fine. In Child Magus though, it started on a Monday morning and ended on a Friday night. Not just two days by my count. :P As for the summary of the time in between, those days were the more monotonous "Go to school, study, have sex, try to sleep (while wanting more sex)." I know, to you and me, that's not monotonous But 30+ days of the same thing would get there fast. Basically, what I'm saying is, not much happened other than what the summaries described.
Fonte Acquisitions: I'm curious why you thought Milena (the land lady) was an exception?
Seth taking Charge/Ego Boost: Changes like what you're describing are a gradual thing. For instance, in the Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter series by Laurel K. Hamilton, Anita was opposed to sex before marriage for two primary reasons: 1) She's Catholic-turned-Protestant (being an Animator is an innate thing she cannot simply turn off and the Catholic church excommunicated all members who chose to give in to their "evil powers" - she left the catholic church and became protestant and they didn't have a problem with her being an Animator). 2) Before the series started, she was engaged to be married. She had sex with her fiancé and then he changed his mind about marrying her. Eventually, she HAD to have sex on a regular basis because she gained a feeding ability from a Master Vampire (Jean-Claude) she was linked/bound to. Even then, she fought the idea, and even the power, but she eventually learned that it was inevitable. It took a long time (each book covers like 2-5 days and are considered to be spaced apart by several months). She gained the feeding power in book 12 and stopped fighting it in about book 17. Now, while I'm emulating aspects of that series, I don't plan on letting things take that long. Seth isn't as stubborn as Anita. He'll gradually gain confidence in his abilities, but that will take some external influence - which is about to hit in the next book.
Seth's Background: I have been a gamer in the past (desktop rpgs such as Dungeons and Dragons, Rifts, White Wolf, etc.) and ran a few games as GM/Storyteller/DM. One of the things I enjoyed was allowing the players to discuss a situation, coming up with ideas about why this happened or who was behind that. I usually already had an idea for the immediate issue they were discussing, but I would remember what they said and use some of their ideas later. ;) At the moment, the only thing I can say is you'll have to wait to see what Seth's background really is.
Thank you for writing this. It was a great read with no major problems. The only problem I could find was how big of a time skip the last chspter was. Would it realy take the magnus sherif so long to question a prime suspect? Other then that it was fine.
Response:
Actually, there was a reason the Sheriff took so long to get to Seth, and that will be covered in the next story.
--==( Posting Suggestions )==--
I received the following email regarding how I should post the next story...
I read your Protector series (and I think I sent you my thank you for that one, too) but wanted to say I'm enjoying the new series as well. Your blog mentions you were going to decide by the end of January whether to post the whole next book at once or post in chapters. I can see benefits to both. Posting in chapters you are likely to get more ongoing feedback which could help (a) motivate you to keep writing and (b) generate feedback to point out inconsistencies or logical gaps which you can fix to end with a better story as a result. On the down side, it may mean more work if you need to go back and make changes to previously posted chapters. Speaking for myself, I'd say you're probably better off posting in chapters - but I like reading stories in one gulp and get impatient, so chances are I'll wait until I see that "Concluded on ___" note and then read it through together.
I hope it happens quickly, though, because I enjoy your stories immensely.
I have to agree with his assessment, especially the first reason. Inversely, I hate the idea of leaving an unfinished story posted, so that'll be even more reason for me to continue writing. And, since we are past the end of January, I'll be posting in chapters, rather than trying to write it all and posting the whole story in one go.
--==( Character Bios )==--
I received another suggestion regarding the Bios, it strips out most of the info I've presented in previous blogs and looks like this...
________________________________________________________
Jordan Krumm
Character Age: 25
Model Name: Jordan Carver
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Measurements: 40-24-35 in (102-61-89 cm)
Bra/Cup Size: 32I (81I)
Height: 5' 6" (1.68 m)
Weight: 121 lb (54.89 kg)
Body Type: Slim
Eye Color: Gray Blue
Hair: Light Brown, Curly, and Mid-Back Length
Notes...
________________________________________________________
I like it because it's very simple, and since most of the details in the previous versions were more for me to maintain consistency with the characters, I'll go with this version.
What I'll do with Sibling Magus is post a "Previously on Sex Magus..." type of chapter and include the Bios. In later chapters, when someone knew is about to be introduced, I'll post their bios at the end of the chapter. I say the end because it would spoil any surprises if I posted it at the beginning. Once the entire story is posted, I'll re-post the entire story, with an Index type chapter at the end with all bios moved to that Index. I know it sounds like a lot of work, but honestly, it's the only way I'll be happy with it.
I'll soon be re-posting the summary chapter for Child Magus along with an Index Chapter. Then I'll begin work on chapters for Sibling Magus. I hope everyone has a good week. :)
TechnicDragon
--==( Child Magus Posting )==--
The last chapters for Child Magus have been sent in for posting. I received an email regarding what I meant by "last chapters". This is the end of this book, not the series. The next couple of books focus on the Lockdown mentioned earlier in Child Magus as well as other issues that have been ongoing in the background and are coming to a head.
--==( Emails )==--
There are a few emails that I received a while back but never responded to. I'd like to rectify that.
TD,
I've enjoyed your re-write of the original master PC series tremendously! I particularly enjoyed the most recent chapters since I feel like I'm finally starting to see some differences between the different women; previously, despite being a great read, the women all seemed a bit too similar/flat (in personality, not chest).
I was also looking at the comments from the previous reader (which you responded to in your blog) and I'm wondering if the "porn route" s/he's referring to the porn videos that the characters will be making? It would fit in better with her/his subsequent comment passivity. On that, I also feel the passivity and acceptance of his women being in porn is a little bit strange -- it's one thing to be resigned to letting other men eye his women since he's still insecure but it's another thing to be ok with it. Just a minor thought.
Thanks for your hard work in putting together this great piece! I'm very much looking forward to future installments!
Response:
Porn Route: You know, to be honest, I thought he meant the detail in the sex scenes I wrote for the story. Now, reading his email again, I see what you're saying.
To tell the truth, Seth isn't okay with the idea of releasing porn videos in which his girls star. And for some people, ignorance is bliss. So what if they talked about it? Seth has a job as a model and prospects for finding more work in that area. So what if he bought all the equipment and software to make the videos? He did that to cover the fact that he just had sex with Erica in the office - something her boss would never allow! So what if he makes a video or two with Jordan or Danielle, that doesn't mean it would be leaked onto the net, right?
;)
Since you don't seem to mind the commentary, I will continue to provide my observations. I have to say that I thought your latest installment flowed much nicer than the last. I enjoy that you are working in some creative uses of Seth's magic (the sun shower) and hope that Jordan loosens up a bit and starts doing more teaching in this manner. There were a couple of discordant things in this section that I would like to point out to you as a reader.
First, Venera is unfortunately named. I figure that you were naming her that because of the link to Venus, the goddess of love, but my instinctive word connection was with venereal as in the disease. The girl must hate her parents for giving her a name that would make her get teased all through Jr High! If I was her, I would go by a nickname (Nera? Venny? Enna?) or a middle name.
Second, maybe I am missing something here, but I just didn't get the whole "you won't cum in us when we are together" motif in CH 20. Unless the issue is hiding that Jana is on birth control, I fail to connect to the emotional reason for this stricture. The characters talk like this is obvious, but I have to say that it went right over my head. I guess I will have to agree with Seth that it is part of the whole "Janna has issues" theme and leave it to be resolved later. I also thought it strange that Venera was willing to do a "slam bam thank you ma'am" type of encounter after the binding and just leave Seth with no complaint. Was she not emotionally bonded to Seth? Doesn't she want to rub herself against him all night? Yet she just walked out the door like the meeting was over, scheduling an appointment at her office to come talk about Janna.
Third, Jana has essentially been offstage for the last twenty chapters, the only mention of her being when she can't come over. The scene with her makes sense if this is the second or third time that they have been together and this is the culmination of a long absence (she buys him stuff, she is hot for him and they haven't resolved the emotional issues around their relationship). This doesn't make as much sense if they have been seeing one another regularly off camera for weeks. If it has been a long time, then there is another disconnect. If this story is paralleling the Protector series, then binding turns the girls both physically and emotionally towards Seth. Yet the implication is that Janna is still having an affair with Venera while one of Seth's girls. Yes, I know that it should be the other way around, and seems like that to Venera, but the implication is that it is perfectly possible for the girls to cheat on Seth!
Fourth, in the previous chapter, we find that Seth's new "Sunwash" has just ramped his attractiveness up to the point where he has the effect on the women almost as if using a fetish, yet Janna and Venera don't seem to notice. Why? He should still be "tanned" until the catalogue is done according to Jordan.
Finally, when we see Venera's story in CH 21, it is obvious that the two girls were in a committed relationship before all this happened. How can the fetish work on Venera? I understand Jenna, since that was an initiation thing, but it won't work on Venera given the restrictions that you placed upon it early on. You seem to agree in that there is no indication of the almost irresistible horniness that comes from the fetish, but how did the binding work? Perhaps the binding function and the attraction function on the fetish are different powers?
Don't let me leave you with the impression that I didn't like what you are doing, I am truly enjoying the story so far and look forward to your next installment. If you would rather I not comment, let me know and I won't bug you anymore.
Response:
For the person who wrote this and everyone else, you don't have to apologize for writing me about something that bothers you with my stories. I don't have a problem reposting one or more chapters to correct inconsistencies (or grammar/spelling issues). Now, with that said...
First: I renamed Venera as Vanessa. Once you mentioned the phonic connection between Venera and venereal, I couldn't get it out of my head.
Second: For the moment, all I'll say about Jana's issues is that they're "ongoing". In my effort to make all of Seth's girls unique, I've created issues that some people might not have the ability to cope with (in real life). If Seth knew what was going through Jana's head at the time, he didn't share with us. And with Vanessa, yes, she felt everything you described. However, because she didn't want to cause problems with Jana, she chose to leave rather than pursue those emotions and sensations. And the appointment? Who says they'll only talk about Jana? /:)
Third: Keep in mind, those twenty chapters have only comprised two days (The story starts on a Monday, Chapter 8 starts Tuesday, and Chapter 17 starts Wednesday when Seth sees Jana and Vanessa). I also point out that Jordan has talked to Jana about what's going on. To answer your hypothetical scenarios, Seth and Jana have seen each other regularly, which is why Jana's purchase of furniture for Seth is so shocking. Seth didn't even see that coming. As for the bond, yes, it is very similar to what I described in the Protector series (trilogy). The girls are all happy being with Seth, and that includes Jana. However, Jana has issues with men and prefers women. Flat out leaving Vanessa to be with Seth would have hurt both women and Jana couldn't do that. The best she could do, to make herself happy, was to see both. Your suggestion that any of the girls could cheat on Seth isn't laughable. You're quite right. Keep in mind that the mentality of most Magi when it comes to sex and intimate relationships is very different than what we think. Besides, Seth - like Ral - would be happy for any of his girls if they found someone they truly loved and left him. Yes, it would hurt, but as long as the girl was happy (and safe), it would be worth it. I don't currently have any plans for something like that to happen, but it could.
Fourth: A very good point about Seth's tan. Yes, Jana should have noticed. Vanessa never met Seth before that scene so she wouldn't have noticed any changes. Keep in mind, I had the scene in Seth's living room in mind for days before writing it. Which brings up the chapter when he "tanned". Jordan was taking Seth to see Sammi because there was an issue with the pictures. I couldn't think of any kinds of problems short of computer issues and came up with the "Tan" issue at the last second. As soon as I finished that chapter and started work on the scene with Jana, I completely forgot how that seemingly minor change should have registered with her. I've looked into updating the chapter so Jana at least mentions Seth's tan, but the intensity of their exchange leaves all thoughts of his tan behind, even in their exchanges after Vanessa is bound to Seth.
I noticed that in your recent blog post, that your latest chapters have gone to your editors and was wondering if you had a need for any more sets of eyes? I'm currently proof reading for MCGuy101 who has also making the transition from MCStories.
Response:
I have two editors who have been diligent regarding helping with any corrections, Russ and Gray_Shadow. I also have to admit that without Gray_Shadow, some of the plot twists and changes I've made in both stories wouldn't have come about. He's a great soundboard.
I know the more eyes looking over someone's stories, the more likely they are to catch any errors, notice inconsistancies, and spot flaws (still trying to recover from the emails I got regarding certain details I went on about without actually knowing what I was doing! I'm leaving the details out only because I'm not complaining about emails but my feelings of being such a dumb@$$. ;P ). I would look for more editors, but since I only get online about once a week currently, I don't want to bog down the whole process of getting the stories/chapters posted.
As it stands, I sent off the chapters I just posted about three weeks ago. Two weeks ago, I got corrections from Russ and a message from Gray_Shadow that he was having pc problems. Last week, he sent me his thoughts on the finale for the story, and this week, after fighting to re-write that chapter, I've sent it to him again for corrections and further thoughts. I've posted the chapter anyway because even if there are any further revisions, I doubt they'll be much different. At most, it'll be a touch up on what's already there.
This doesn't change my standing rule that if anyone finds anything wrong, shoot me an email and I'll post corrections the next time I'm online.
Hello,
I must say, I've loved reading your Master PC/Magi stories so far, especially this one, though in differrent ways. I must say that this twists in the last two chapters were surprising yet not really. Dumont being a Switch was surprising, but her being a Dominant wasn't. That's not to say I didn't enjoy them, however. In fact this whole angle was a huge twist that I really enjoyed.
While I personally don't identify with Switches, I'm glad that at least the BDSM scene was represented relatively faithfully (I say relatively only because BDSM is such a broad term). What really surprised me though is Katrina being so submissive that she can't figure out that she's in an unhealthy (BDSM) relationship. Also, while I really enjoy the whole 'positive reinforcement' thing, I hope (eventually) to see Katrina get punished, because I feel that showing a proper punishment (as opposed to discipline or simple play) is important. Plus I just like reading those scenes as much as I like reading about positive reinforcement because I believe in that too.
I'm curious how this all plays out, this angle, this Book, as well as the series.
Response:
Thank you for the comments. I have to admit that I've never personally been involved in BDSM or a D/s scene before. Okay, lemme restate that... My ex had me tie her up once and we fooled around that way, but that was the stretch of it. She always told me I could do anything I wanted to with her but after hearing her stories of how her previous husband abused her, I was always too scared to go too far. Granted, if she told me to stop I would have without question. Which brings me to the one thing that bugs me about the BDSM aspects of Child Magus.
There was never a "safe" word.
I've seen plenty of TV shows that touch on D/s and read lots of material on scenes like those but with the one scene I write, there's no line drawn between Seth and his subs. Now, if I write a scene that has more to it that just kinky sex, I'll probably include such things, and do more research on scenes like that, but for the time being, I'm not going to worry too much about it.
As for punishing Katrina... It may be a while before something like that happens. Seth has a lot on his plate, and there are other things about to hit that will keep him too busy to worry about punishment (other than his own).
Good story, looking forward to seeing more updates and anxious to actually find out some information about being a magus, like the houses and more about there magic. Seth doesn't really seem to care or if he does he accepts vague answers and never asks questions. It's strange
Response:
In all honesty, up to this point, I hadn't developed much about the houses, it's all been about Seth's Initiation and building up his Fonti count to meet his needs. The next story will cover a lot more, including ...
WARNING: SPOILER
... a trainer for Seth.
--==( Feedback )==--
I'm looking forward to hearing from everyone regarding whether I should post the next story all-at-once or in sections?
Also, for the Character bios: What should I keep and what should I leave out? One reader has already responded to this, suggesting a rearrangement of information rather than cropping anything. This was his suggestion:
Jordan Krumm
_Character Information________________________________
Character Age: 25
Zodiac: Aquarius
Childhood Environment: Small Town
Birth Order: Only Child
Siblings: None
Residence: Apartment, Small (1/1) in Arlington, Texas
Vehicle: Gold, Car, Luxury
Occupation: Sales (Silk and Lace)
Social/Economic Background: Laborer/Middle Class
Hobbies: Do It Yourself
Nickname: (none)
_Model's Personal Info________________________________
Model Name: Jordan Carver
Born: January 30, 1986
Model Age: 27
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Nationality: German
_Model's Physical Stats_______________________________
Measurements: 40-24-35 in (102-61-89 cm)
Bra/Cup Size: 32I (81I)
Boobs: Enhanced
Height: 5' 6" (1.68 m)
Weight: 121 lb (54.89 kg)
Body Type: Slim
Eye Color: Gray Blue
Hair: Light Brown, Curly, and Mid-Back Length
Pubic Hair: Shaved
_Character's Sexual Aspects___________________________
Favored Position: Tit Fuck
Orgasm Response: Loud Low Moan
Pet Name for Lover: Lover
Relationship: Seth's Fonte
Sexual Orientation: Bi-Sexual
Sexual Persona: Universal Quality
Special Feature: Sheer Sexual Allure
_Sex Magus Series Specific Information________________
1st Appearance: Book I: New Magus
Seth's Fonte: Yes
Magus: No
Mark: None
Power Scale: 0
House Name: Pavonis
House Affiliation: Former Member
______________________________________________________
The same writer also suggested I post a bio ever five chapters so readers can skip them if they choose too. At the moment, I'm going to start off with a single chapter with info on all of the characters who have appeared previously along with short descriptions of how they were involved in New Magus and Child Magus. Any new characters will appear at the end of the chapter they first appear in.
TechnicDragon
Child Magus Posting
Finally, after so many months of fighting with it, I have finished chapter 30! Yeah, I know, it sounds so lame, but there's more. I've also finished the rest of Child Magus.
I'll repeat that for anyone who doesn't read things twice.
I've finished Child Magus.
Now you're asking, "Well? Where the hell is it?!?"
I've sent the last chapters to my editors. I know, I know, it's about damned time. In the mean time, I've sent in chapters 27 thru 29 for posting. They should be up soon. ;D
In the mean time, I've begun work on the Book III (title still pending). Here's the description:
"Relationships are already complicated enough, especially if you've never been in one before and are used to only worrying about yourself, but Seth is doing the best he can. On top of all the different issues he faces with each of the women he's bound to, Seth is confronted by the local Sheriff Magus about the Lockdown."
I can only hope not to run into the same kinds of problems I did with Child Magus, but I can't make any guarantees. At the moment, I've got a running outline that will guide me through the majority of the story. I should also point out that this is where things really start to deviate from my original idea of following Master PC The Protector in a parallel storyline. While it's true that New Magus was parallel to Part one of Protector and Child Magus was parallel to part two, Book III will not follow this pattern. It can't. Anyone who's read Protector will notice that part three only consists of part of a day, some new powers for Ral, and his frustrations with the Program, before getting all of his girls ready to go meet The Users. That's it! It's not much for a part, now that I look at it so analytically, so I'm going to move forward. That means, Book III will be more like a combination of parts three and four of Protector.
One other thing I've been trying to decide for a while now is whether to write Book III and post chapters as they're available or to write the whole thing and post it all at once, so it's more like publishing a book. In fact, I'd like some feedback on this idea. Let me know what you think. I'll make my decision by the end of January.
Cast of Characters
I received a suggestion on how to handle the requested cast of characters. I don't have the notes right here in front of me, but the idea was to post a "pre-chapter" with info on all recurring characters along with not only physical statistics, but short descriptions of what happened with them in the previous books. Also, when I'm about to introduce any new characters, I'll add the physical bio to the beginning of the chapter they're about to appear in. I only have one small problem with the physical bios... what to leave out!?!
The following is an example of all the information I've collected/created for each character (and most of the models in my database):
Jordan Krumm
_Inspiration__________________________________________
Based on Model: Jordan Carver
_Model's Personal Info________________________________
Born: January 30, 1986
Model Age: 27
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Nationality: German
_Model's Physical Stats_______________________________
Measurements: 40-24-35 in (102-61-89 cm)
Bra/Cup Size: 32I (81I)
Boobs: Enhanced
Height: 5' 6" (1.68 m)
Weight: 121 lb (54.89 kg)
Body Type: Slim
Eye Color: Gray Blue
Hair: Light Brown, Curly, and Mid-Back Length
Pubic Hair: Shaved
_Character Information________________________________
Name: Jordan Krumm
Character Age: 25
Zodiac: Aquarius
Childhood Environment: Small Town
Birth Order: Only Child
Siblings: None
Residence: Apartment, Small (1/1) in Arlington, Texas
Vehicle: Gold, Car, Luxury
Occupation: Sales (Silk and Lace)
Social/Economic Background: Laborer/Middle Class
Hobbies: Do It Yourself
Nickname: (none)
_Character's Sexual Aspects___________________________
Favored Position: Tit Fuck
Orgasm Response: Loud Low Moan
Pet Name for Lover: Lover
Relationship: Seth's Fonte
Sexual Orientation: Bi-Sexual
Sexual Persona: Universal Quality
Special Feature: Sheer Sexual Allure
_Sex Magus Series Specific Information________________
1st Appearance: Book I: New Magus
Seth's Fonte: Yes
Magus: No
Mark: None
Power Scale: 0
House Name: Pavonis
House Affiliation: Former Member
______________________________________________________
I left out a few of the attributes for various reasons, either because they were for men (and Jordan is a woman), because in this context they wouldn't make sense, or becasue the attributes had to do with the program (my db program, not master pc) but not the story. However, this still gives everyone an idea of what I've included. This also lacks any general notes about the the character, or a summary of what this character has done in the stories thus far. Like with my request for suggestions between posting chapters at a time or all-at-once for Book III, I'll ask what everyone thinks I should keep and what to ditch for the Character Bios.
In the mean time, it shouldn't be too long before I post the last chapters for Child Magus.
TechnicDragon
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