FozzieBare: Blog

So. Let's answer some of your questions, both in general and from the new story I just posted. (if you haven't read it, it's called Midnite and Nightwatch: A superhero Story). I've replied to people seperately, but I think having the closest thing to a FozzieBare Frequently Asked Questions list possible is a good thing.

Q1: Did you really write a story featuring virtual expies of (Super Hero name redacted to protect against vengeful Comic Book Lawyers) and (Super Villainess name redacted for the same reason)?

Answer: Yes. Or at least when the muse struck, that's what it started out as. I tried to give James and Veronica their own personalities, however. I always wondered what the sex lives of superheroes were like.

Iif you've ever read the 1969 essay by science fiction author Larry Niven "Man of steel, Woman of Kleenex", where they detail the troubles that would plague that Man of Steel (DC don't sue me, I'm not rich!) would have in his amorous adventures with Lois, Lana, or Lori (they really had a think for women with the initials LL, didn't they?). You get the idea that super human sex can be both very super and very human.

As I said in the preview of the story, Super Heroes can have a different version of foreplay. I mean, what's dinner and a romantic movie to someone who patrols the street every night, looking for criminals to capture? It'd have to be something special, right? And besides, what do you get as an Anniversary gift for the woman who has (or can steal) everything already? It was a fun little musing. And I don't care that the Muse woke me up at 2:30 AM to tell their story. Well.. much anyway.

Q2: You seem to have a type in your stories. Athletic, not-so-well endowed women. What about women with larger breasts?

Answer: Oh, I like all women. I do have to admit, however, that I do wince when I see someone who's chest is too large for her body. Some guys would ogle them thinking how awesome they look. I tend to think "Oh my god, I hope she has a good support bra, or the backache must be so real by the end of the day.

But that doesn't mean that I won't have women in my stories with bodacious bozangas (how about THAT bit of alliterations). Just that bigger is not always better.

Q3: You seem to avoid "sex for sex's sake" in your story. Kinda ironic, that you're posting these stories on a site made for stories with sexual content, no?

Answer: While I think there's a place for stories that focus primarily or specifically on the sexual act, I tend to use a famous quote by Woody Allen. For all his numerous faults, this quote was pretty good. "Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."

By that I mean, the act is great, don't get me wrong. There wouldn't be a porn industry that makes 15 BILLION dollars a year if the act itself wasn't worthwhile and exciting. But I think that strong feelings can make the act itself exponentially better. But while we wait for that one true love (or many true loves).. there's nothing wrong with a little fun, or a lot of fun for that matter.

Q4: Ok, tell the truth. Your Muse didn't actually wake you up at 2-something in the morning to write a story, did it?

Answer: Some of it is true, yes. As I alluded to in previous stories, a lot of the thinking I do for my stories come during times when my brain should really be doing something else, like trying to relax to fall asleep, or while playing a video game, or..well.. anything.

I try hard not to come up with sexy details while I'm driving. Not only could it prove distracting, it would also be a bit embarassing if I have a hard-on when they asked for license and registration.

In this case, I had fallen asleep around 12:45 am, hoping to get a good few hours of sleep, or at least a few hours of GOOD sleep (I have a severe case of obstructed sleep apnea, so hours of sleep are frequently NOT good sleep).

Instead, I woke up, and I mean WIDE awake at 2:20 am. While I tried to fall back asleep, the Muse inserted the base idea for Midnite and Nightwatch into my brain. And I've never quite learned the trick of clearing my mind enough to go back to sleep on demand. So, as I laid there, and the minutes started to turn into hours, I kept running through the details. Some story details, some.. less then appropriate.

Like for example, "I wonder if all the gadget that superheroes and villains use in the comics can be considered sex toys if used as part of super hero battles treated as foreplay."

(now you know one of the major reasons I'm nicknamed Fozzie)

But, since I was OBVIOUSLY not going back to sleep any time soon, I sat down at my computer and started writing. By the time noon rolled around, I had just barely enough time to save it, write my blog post, and get the story out to my intrepid pre-readers, before I had to leave for a doctor's appointment. In a bit of irony only insomniacs like me will truly appreciate, the appointment was with a pulmonary and sleep doctor (as I said, severe sleep apnea). Sooner or later, I will get my own Darth Vader mask to wear at bed time.

Actually, I wish it was as comfortable as Darth Vader's mask. Have you ever done a sleep study? It's where they attach 50 or sixty electrodes to your body via wires, including your legs, your chest, your legs, and especially your head, then put a tight breathing mask weighing a couple pounds with all the plastic tubing leading to the CPAP machine.

Then they tell you to sleep normally.

At this point, the theme from Mission:Impossible should be playing in your head. But, I got home, am somewhat rested up (although I probably will nap more today as a result)

Q5: Why do you write all these blog posts? I mean, we're all here for the stories, aren't we? (I actually rephrased this because it was a lot more... unproductive when it was posted to me)

Answer: We're all here for the stories no doubt. I don't particularly know how many people read these, as compared to my stories, whose numbers I watch every so often, mostly in a Ralph Kramden "Hamina Hamina Hamina.." kind of way when I see how many people have read and voted on the latest chapter of FTMD, or Rogue's Rules. Kinda scary. But it's a great way to interact with one's readers. If they find my stories fun and interesting to read, they might find my blog posts discussing the stories interesting. Kinda like this one.

Final Question: When are you going to write more stories. We want More. MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR NOW!

Answer: There's part of me that cringes under the pressure, of writing high-quality chapters that will keep you fine people coming back time and time again. But it feeds my Muse, and the comments that you guys send me are a major reason I keep writing. I try my best to respond to EACH AND EVERY COMMENT you guys send me, good, bad and indifferent. Please keep it up. And remember, the opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is apathy.

To close this (already way too long) blog post out, I'll add one more line that I found funny, considering the site we are all at, about the writing process. It comes from the late great Robert Heinlein.

"Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards."

I guess I go have to wash my hands now.

Have you ever woken up at 2:30 in the morning, just 90 minutes after you fell asleep, with your muse giving you the idea of a story, and not letting you go back to sleep until you've written it more than 10 hours of work later?

You're lucky.

I know this sounds ridiculous, especially after I complained about how easy certain authors make it seem, but apparently my Muse is afraid that if I dam up the ideas She's giving me, I'll never write them., so ten hours later, I've finished a first draft. In my tired state it's probably a good thing that the pre-readers are also spell-checkers, because I am one Tired FozzieBare.


(seriously, Muse, haven't you heard of DVR, Tivo? it doesn't have to be ALL RIGHT THIS MOMENT. *sighs* My Muse is actually laughing at me in response.)

As soon as my prereaders look at the story and get it back to me, if they think it's worth posting, I'll post it.

Now, if I can just get to my doctor's appointment and back to catch up on all the sleep I missed while under the Muse's lash.

As always thank you for reading, your comments, everything.

Where our intrepid "hero" finds out it's just about time for him to make a choice. One that will change his life. Or possibly end it.

Chapter 6 of FTMD is out at the pre-readers as we speak. I probably will upload that early next week.

Things have taken a bit of a delay, as I spent the last couple days undergoing sleep studies for severe obstructive sleep apnea, where I have an episode of apnea approximately every TWO MINUTES (no joke).

A sleep study is the 21st century of equivalent of a Spanish Inquisition. They attach 60 wires to your body, all across the body and head, connected to electrodes. They combine that with three bands around your chest , and a couple pound mask covering your nose and/or your mouth, firmly pressed against your face.

Then they tell you to sleep normally.

(theme from Mission:Impossible plays).

But, hopefully things are getting better on that side.

As always, thanks for reading, and I'm writing upcoming chapters as quickly as I can.

FB

Nearly 15,000 Downloads of Free Trader's Mary Dream, 4,300 downloads this week alone. That made it my #1 viewed story of all time, after First Times, a story that has been on Stories Online for FIFTEEN YEARS. (well, FTMD has been almost as long, but of course, no one wants to read a story that was written and then quickly faded, until my Muse returned to me).

Combined with 3,000 Downloads of Rogue's Rules, and the amount of feedback I've received, both for my stories, and these blog entries.. and I decided that I had to do something special for you guys. I tried to figure out what you guys wanted that I could give you (except for the couple of you who really wish I wouldn't post blog posts everyday), without breaking my promise to keep to a strict schedule until I have a really good backlog of my two current main stories.

Then I figured it out.

If you're reading this sometime after the morning of the 22nd, you may want to check updated stories.

I cannot and WILL not guarantee regular scheduled updates of this story. Right now, Free Trader Mary's Dream and Rogue's Rules are the two main stories that I've promised folks. But I hope every now and then to provide updates to this story as well.

You guys have spent so much time and effort thanking me for writing something that keeps you guys entertained, in guessing where the story goes. It's time I gave back to you guys.

Fozzie D Bare.

Formerly known as SirFozzie

(Don't scroll past here unless you want to be spoiled)

PS: Spoiler Alert: I've written a chapter of One-on-One, another of my old stories, and will be putting it up in the queue shortly.