Denham Forrest: Blog

I'd like to explain that my silence (on t'internet) of late has been due to hostilities. Since May, effectively a state of war has existed between myself and my (then) internet provider over the ever decreasing speed and unreliability of my internet connection.

Put succinctly, during the last few months a phenomenon known as "crosstalk" had effectively degraded the service I've been able to receive to the point that it became no longer viable. The situation was exacerbated by the fact that I'm at the end of a very, very long telephone cable here.

There was -- and has been for over a year -- a remedy for the situation though. All that was required was for my telephone line to be rerouted through a fibre-optic cabinet that had been installed in the local village last year. For some totally inexplicable reason, my service provider's staff have consistently claimed that such a rerouting was a completely impossible operation.

However, just over a month ago I was put in touch with some very nice people at Superfast Cornwall and miraculously they have arranged for that "impossible (never going to happen in your bleeding lifetime) re-routing" to take place.

We "went live" with fibre-optic Broadband about half-six (local time) this evening 17-09-2014. At just under 19mbps it's not fast by many peoples standards, but at the end of this ruddy long telephone line, it's bleeding supersonic, I can assure you. I've been running on less than 0.14mbps and for about 10 to 15% of the day of late.

It is not easy for me to have to admit that Cornwall County Council have actually done something right. Superfast Cornwall are not internet providers it's their job to get the network upgraded. It was set-up by the CCC -- using EU funding -- to bring fast broadband to the county. They have a target 95% of all intent connections within Cornwall by 2017. Good luck fella's, you've done me proud.

Jesus, I hate praising Civil Servants, it goes to their heads. But I always give praise where praise is due.

Whatever, the last few months have not been conducive for creative side on my psyche. Although I have come-up with a few ideas a couple of short stories and a short… second chapter, to Shut-Up and Drive has been proofread. I've got the basic idea for two more very short chapters (more like encounters) for that same yarn. Hopefully as my demeanour recovers over the next few days, I'll get what's ready to go, posted and the others written.

My apologies to everybody who has written to me of late; I really haven't been in the mood to correspond with anyone. Jim and Dave, sorry fella's but I have to include you in that apology.

Regards DC

Firstly, I'm back on-line (at least temporarily) even if with a very limited and somewhat unstable connection.

Secondly, I'm very pleased to be able to report, that after a very long silence I have recently received correspondence from LadyCibelle herself. All our (somewhat older) mutual friends out there will know doubt be aware of LadyC's long-standing health problems and I'm sure that they are as relieved as I am that she's finally got in touch.

Lastly, my main computer (a much loved, and greatly modified Packard Bell) kicked the proverbial bucket, last week. There comes a time (especially now that support for XP has come to an end) when I had to admit defeat and replace at least one of my machines. In consequence I'm now doing battle with a brand new computer running Windows 8.1.

My other machines will stay running XP for the time being, but eventually (if not replaced) they will go over to Linux. Whatever I'm going through the usual routine of discovering what peripherals and programs will or will not run on Microsoft's "FYJ" rip-off operating system.

What is it with Microsoft's programmers; have they never heard of the word continuity? A simple illustration (that's magnified many times throughout every new operating system Microsoft release). But for instance, why does "Printer and Faxes" in XP's control panel need to be changed to "Devices and Printers" in Windows 8? And/or "Add or Remove Programs" have to be changed to "Programs and Features".

To my mind these are unnecessary changes that do little but lengthen the time it takes new users to familiarise themselves with a different operating system. And where I come from Time is money! Is it any surprise that more and more organisations around the world are moving their computers across to versions of Linux.

I know I said that I'd still be writing while I was off-line. However I actually achieved very little on that score. I'm afraid the frustration of just one session doing verbal battle with BT's Asian help desk, is enough to put anyone off constructive thinking for several days. And I've been on the phone to the buggers virtually every other day for a good couple of months now.

I thank everyone who sent me emails about my plight. However they all arrived together and I regret that I don't think I'll be able to reply to them individually.

DC

Okay that's put that right, now what was I doing before that email from Andrew came in...?

Please note that (courtesy of BT-Openreach's strange business ethics) at the present time DC no longer has a viable Internet connection. BT's excuse appears to be that they've added so many new clients to the system that after 35 years they are no longer require DC's custom. RG

Thanks everyone for all of your kind emails. Sorry I've been adrift for a while, I have been writing honestly. However I haven't actually been completing anything. Anyway two yarns within a few days of each other, should keep some folks happy for a while.

I must tell everyone about the discovery that I made this week. For sometime now I've been trying to track down the source of the random hyphen's that mysteriously have been appearing within the text of my postings. Not only on this site but on others as well. So I've always figured that it weren't Lazeez's problem.

The source turns out to have been Microsoft Word and the fact that I use several very different computers. In fact the auto-hyphen function within Word that Microsoft set to on by default.

I reinstalled my main Internet computer a while back and overlooked (or rather completely forgot about) turning the function off. Hey presto when I load the file into Word on this computer (to cut and past it onto the site) I get a whole collection of random hyphens because the page set-up is different on this machine.

Well that's what I think has been happening anyway. Having now switched the feature off, these last two yarns do not appear to have any unwanted hyphens. Although one of them has a whole collection of my usual cock-ups. Will I get around to sorting? Well what do you think, knowing my record in the past!

Anyway I'm in the middle of a holiday in Italy at present. Well in the computer that is. I've got a married couple holidaying somewhere on the Adriatic whose holiday is about to take an interesting turn. I'd better get back to it or they might end up in the abandoned file as well. And I really do want to know how this one turns out.

DC

It's Topsy from Uncle Toms Cabin.

Thanks folks, I've been wondering about that for bleeding years.

You know as a youngster I read from my father's bookshelf. Mostly Dickens and Doyle, but there were a couple of Mark Twain's works and a few by other American authors. One book I can recall seeing the cover of though, was Uncle Toms Cabin. But for the life of me, I can't remember actually reading the tale.

Seems I must have, otherwise my mother or father must have referred to how Topsy grow'd colloquially.

Londoners' have (or used to have) a habit of coining descriptive phrases. So the words I can half recall must have been "Like Topsy, it grow'd an' grow'd!"

DC