Anne N. Mouse: Blog

I've stated before that I'm dyslexic...
It negatively effects my work, such that all of my life I've been unable to advance beyond manual labor.
Unfortunately even manual labor seems to be beyond my ability. At least the job I'm currently working seems beyond my ability. I can't at all seem to meet either time, or quality (error free) work.
Thus I don't know how much longer I'll be working at my current job. I honestly feel utterly depressed about my lack of ability to do anything useful.

I was recently gifted a laptop with mint loaded on it. I haven't taken time to explore the OS in part because I've been working at least one ten hour day every week since. A couple of weeks I got to 55 hours of work for the week. The money is 'nice', but the hours are killing me, or at least any chance that I'll get much more written than this blog.

Or repetitive motion injury. My employer says to report injuries... But they're very displeased by me reporting a RMI...
Go figure.

This morning when I opened my ancient laptop (10 years old at least) I received an unwelcome message from windows. It seems that I can't upgrade to win 11 and so have a year to replace my current machine.
I've been doing my best to get enough money together to replace one of my cars, as I am putting at least 2,000 miles a month on them just for work.
I do want to replace my current laptop and I suppose I will start shopping for a used tough book. I know that I don't want one that dies because it came apart due to the dust in my current home.
I had purchased a new laptop in 2000, but it literally broke in two pieces within about a year. I might be able to set up a laptop and not move it, but no guarantees on that exist.
Other than that, I'm back to not writing, because I have been somewhat unable to get my current laptop to boot in the time I allow in the morning to get ready for work. Evenings, I'm usually exhausted from rather physical labor. Still I do hope to get a fairly long (for me) novel finished this year. If I do I'll explore how to make it available through bookappy.

Or, I don't want to...
More realistically I don't know what I want to do... at least I'm pretty sure what I want to do is impossible. Or so it seems to me.
Why am I writing about the way I've not been, not had discipline, etc?
I'm reading Lumpy's country roads and find I'm pretty much the inverse of any sort of following the teaching of shaolin or any other method of good living....
When I look at myself in that sort of light, it is easy to wonder how I've managed not to shoot my toes off, because I certainly don't aim much further than that and even then I rarely avoid the pits of despond which line both sides (and the middle) of my path through life thus far.
Or iow life is miserable and I expect hell if there's an after life.