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Must go down. Or so we're told. I'm definitely bipolar. I'm also frustrated by paranoia. What am I paranoid about? Putting my real life out there, even if I trust everyone (including the agency that doesn't exist) to not let the information be compromised the idea that I could gain a stalker is pretty much terrifying.
So even though I could use a supplement to my income I have taken no steps toward monitizing my work.
Well there's the fact that patreon has a policy which would not let me monetize 99% of what I've published here....
This year (well I actually started about this time last year) I wrote about 60,000 pointless words. Or in other words, I rambled on for that many words with no true story development. I haven't tossed the hot mess, but I haven't looked at it since early April. At that time I put aside the mess because it was growing like kudzu but not going anywhere. As with everything I've published here, it was a story without an ending, which I had no clue of how to end. Or IOW what was the point anyway?
What happens to dreams that have died? Sometimes they hang around like rotting corpses corrupting your life.... Other times they become shambling zombies, half alive things haunting you with your failures.
Really to me it doesn't matter much which describes dead dreams, for as far as I can tell I've murdered my dreams with malice aforethought.
All that remains is a slow descent into hell, and that's because I'm a coward who fears not succeeding in a clean end. But hell is all I can see from the charnal house of dead dreams.
I think that is a question I don't ask myself often enough. I hope that you take time today to consider that question in your life.
I've often been guilty of not being thankful for a great number of things in my life, from my health to having work. I'm still not running a budget, so I'm having trouble cash flowing the various needs in my life... GRRR! I'm doing somewhat better on that issue.
Of course I'm concerned with the various conflicts underway in the world 😞, still personally I believe that this year I have a great deal to be thankful for. I hope you do too.
I hate buying by 'mail' or the Internet if you insist. Because (especially with shoes) I always seem to get the wrong size, even if I order the size I'm wearing....
Then I have to go through the process of returning the product and hopefully getting the right size...
I was in a store the other day and they didn't have my size of shoes, they offered to have them shipped to me. But honestly unless I try on the shoes I desperately hate to buy on what at times seems like a barely educated guess.
All this because I do have a pair of shoes bought through Grainger that I do need to return....
So Friday, the 28th I got a heavy dose of fiberglass dust where I work. That would not be such a problem except I'm still feeling like my throat had ten million razor blades in it, and I'm coughing like a pack a day smoker....😧
It's also a problem for me in that I don't want to add more dust to my environment, yet I hadn't entirely won my war against the bedbugs. 😬
Since I'm using diatomaceous earth as my bedbug removal method I tend to have residual dust in my bed. But I'm a bit wary of that while I'm still coughing up fiberglass...ðŸ˜
Other than that I hope that sometime soon I'll have enough money put together to pick up an upper plate for my mouth. I'm missing so many teeth that a partial at least would be helpful. 🙂
I'm hoping to get back to writing soon, but I'm driving 100 miles a day for work, or approximately an hour each way, if the weather isn't bad...😯
All of which is a long way to say, don't expect any new stories from me, anytime soon.😔
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