I'll begin my story by stipulating that I'm the biggest whiner of all time. You'll figure that out quickly as I go along but the reason I'm writing this all down is because there isn't anyone else I can tell and I'm hoping that it will somehow make me feel better by putting it down on paper.
I just turned 43 the other day but somehow I feel much older than that. It's not that I've had more life experiences than others my age. Hell, I'd guess I've had fewer than most. It's that I could see what appeared to be a tunnel behind and ahead of me with no noticeable changes along the way. Don't get me wrong, I have many wonderful things like a wife, kids, a beautiful home and a good job. The problem is that I feel like I'm somehow all alone even if that's only in my head. I thought that having all of those things would make me happy but the reality is that if you aren't really connecting with your spouse or partner, it all feels pointless.
My wife and I originally met while signing up for classes during college freshman orientation and it's really odd, but I went from thinking that redheads didn't do much for me to being completely captivated. [I still feel that way about redheads for everyone else but my wife.] Sadly, I didn't think that I'd ever meet her again on campus given the number of students. When school started a few weeks later, I was amazed not just that we ran into each other after class, but that she apparently remembered me and acted interested in spending more time with me. We went into the student lounge of the University Center and proceeded to spend a couple of hours getting to know each other better. Before parting, she gave me her home number (she still lived at home with her parents and commuted 20 miles to school every day). I had such a strong feeling for her that I decided to call her later that evening and we ended up talking for another couple of hours. She agreed to a date that weekend and we ended up seeing a bad movie and eating pizza afterwards. Over the course of the next few weeks, we spent every available minute together and things seemed to be going great. The one issue that caused any problems was her reluctance to go beyond "second base". She told me that she had some bad experiences while growing up that caused some trust issues. Things came to a head a couple of weeks before the winter break when I told her that I loved her but that I understood that she didn't feel the same way. She responded that she did love me, but she just needed more time to feel comfortable enough to be with me that way. In retrospect, I feel guilty for pulling the same crap that boys always use to pressure girls into a physical relationship. Neither of us was a virgin, so I guess I just assumed that she didn't trust me enough to share with me what had been shared with others. We kept on dating and a week before I went back home for the break, we did make love and I felt that become closer than I'd ever been with anyone in my life. I knew then that I had found the woman with which I wanted to spend the rest of my life.
.... There is more of this story ...
True Story /