How I Became Captainpig
by CaptainPig
Copyright© 2026 by CaptainPig
Humor Story: Someone asked me how I became CaptainPig. This is the answer.
Tags: True Story Humor
Someone asked me the other day how I came up with the handle CaptainPig.
The short answer is: I went to the restroom at the wrong time.
The long answer is: It was a regular meeting of the Sunday Night Beer Drinking Hot Dog Munching Dart Throwing Verbal Abuse Society. (Try saying that fast three times! Especially drunk!) Well, with a few extra attendees.
The Soldier of Fortune convention was going on and a bunch of our friends from out of town were attending. When I say out of town, I mean Rhodesia, South Africa, England, Australia and a few other places as well as other parts of the United States.
It had gotten entirely too drunk out and rowdy around the pool at the hotel, so we had invited our friends to join us for our regular Society meeting. We all adjourned to our regular watering hole which had free hot dogs on Sunday nights and a good old fashioned dart board. None of those wimpy soft point darts for us! No, Sir!
We occupied our regular tables and took over a few adjoining ones.
Many hot dogs were munched, much beer drunk and the darts and the verbal abuse were flying. In other words, a good time was being had by all except for all of the other patrons of the bar.
Someone, I think it might have been Peter (former Rhodesian SAS), asked about becoming members of the Sunday Night Beer Drinking Hot Dog Munching Dart Throwing Verbal Abuse Society. A quorum of the Society being present, a vote was taken. It was agreed nearly unanimously that they could not become full fledged members without going through the required probationary period. Our standards might have been low, but we weren’t violating them for anyone!
Then someone, it might have been either R or JB (I am not quite sure who as I was, by this time, just slightly influenced by the several beers that I had drunk) proposed that we found an auxiliary organization that they could join. This proposal was passed by acclamation.
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