Chapter 4

Life sucks. It always has and it probably always will. I sat in my second period class; a social studies course focused on the government, and couldn't help but brood. At least I was brooding with a good view. Mrs. Shelly had decided early on that she shouldn't be wearing her shirt in class. I only had to quell the protests of three students. The rest of them were too stunned to complain. A flurry of whispering broke out, but didn't last very long. I think more people were paying attention today than on the entire previous week. That should boost people's grades.

No one would remember the incident once they left the room, of course. A view of her breasts just wasn't worth any of the problems that would cause. One of the boys to my left whispered to me. "Can you believe this is happening? This is great!" I think his name was Brian. A quick scan confirmed his identity.

"So I take it you like the show?" I asked.

"I've never seen porn before. My parents keep the computer under parental lock."

"This isn't porn, it's the real thing." He had my sympathies. I knew how bad parents could be when they felt justified. Maybe I could help the kid. It would be good for my karma. Come to that, I needed to find a way to keep track of my karma. I had to start taking this whole thing more seriously. Pulling out a piece of paper, I started jotting down all the ways I had used my powers since I made my first wish. Things weren't adding up too well in my favor.

First I used my powers to avoid Peter and his gang in the hall. That was an innocent use of my abilities. After that I used my powers on Elizabeth and took advantage of her, but not too seriously. She was none the worse for the experience, as far as I knew. I don't think that was going to count much against me. I forced the senior to leave the freshman alone in the hall. That must have done something for my karma. And then there was the Bitch. Everything I did to her was totally deserved, as far as I was concerned. She had targeted me from the first day of school, and had given me nothing but shit ever since. It was time for me to give some back. But regardless of whether the Bitch counted against me or not, the whole thing with Amber probably damned me forever. Who could have guessed she would throw herself at me so completely. And damn me if I didn't accept her offer. Which brings me to another problem: my dark side.

I don't know how many people out there have similar issues. Maybe everyone does. Perhaps they are all just better at keeping their demons locked up. When I took Elizabeth, all of my demons came out. I'm not a person I can be proud of. I've known that for a long time. My demons are dark enough to make even me afraid. The violence of my dreams is astounding. But I've never lost control before; I've always kept my demons locked away. Until now. My powers gave me freedom from my inhibitions. I just didn't worry anymore.

And why should I? I could do anything I wanted, and no one could stop me. I had absolutely no fear, because no one could punish me for breaking the rules. I didn't even worry about death. If I died I would simply find a new body. And would anyone really be worse off? If I took away their fear, if I made the experience pleasurable for them, would that be wrong? But then I started to realize: eventually the thrill would fade. Can I honestly say that I would find fulfillment in that kind of existence? What would be the purpose of it all? Why would I exist, except to cause others harm. Because it was harm, even if indirectly. If I took away their freedom, then I was taking away every possibility in their future. Everything they might have been.

I struggled to find myself; to decide who I really was.

I looked at the kid next to me. His cloths were worn thin and his hair wasn't well kept. He was also borderline obese. Despite having sat next to me for the whole first quarter, I can't recall one instance of him ever asserting himself in class. He was shy, and even more so around girls. He was also picked on frequently. I was stumped. None of the powers I had could really be used to help him.

Then I hit upon an idea. I decided to play matchmaker, and set about finding him a girlfriend. It wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. I still wasn't willing to break up any relationships, so the potential candidates were limited. His girlfriend would also need to be someone who could take care of herself; someone who could handle being ridiculed. Finally I found her. She was a small girl named Bridget, and had been picked on because of her size. But she was also a black belt martial artist, and had won two local tournaments. If someone started something with her, she would definitely be the one to finish it. In the end it really didn't take that much effort. All I really did was push them to notice each other. Bridget took the first step. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised, but she was quite an exhibitionist. When she decided that she wanted Brian, there wasn't much he could do but agree.

I made sure Brian would take care of himself better. It wouldn't be fair to set Bridget up with someone who didn't even look decent. The nudge I gave them would hold for a couple of weeks, and I would have to remember to check up on them afterwards.

I arrived at lunch and took my usual seat. The shit of the day was actually pretty decent, as far as school food goes. The pizza still tasted like cardboard and the fries were still slime, but the fruit cup was fresh. I ate my strawberry and pineapple slices, then threw the rest out. Amber found me shortly after the bell rang, and sat next to me with a flourish. She saw that I had only eaten the fruit and promptly offered me her share. All this time she had said nothing, and I had barely glanced at her. When I finished eating the food, I turned to her.

I wasn't trying to callously ignore her. I had a lot on my mind, and lunch is where I usually have the time to sort it out. For one thing: what was I going to do with a slave? I decided to ask her. "What am I going to do with you, Amber?"

"Whatever you want to do with me. I'm yours, now and forever." She said, quoting from my own words.

"But what about the things you want to do?"

"That's just it! I want to do whatever you want me to! I want to make you happy. I can't describe these feelings, they're so overwhelming. I want to be controlled by you. I want to surrender myself and be yours." She sounded genuine. Again I wondered how anyone could be so willing to give up their free will. "I can see you're nervous about this. I know I'm asking a lot from you, and I'm so sorry if I'm responsible for causing you to worry. But I really need you to accept me, to accept that I belong to you."

"But what if this isn't really what you want? What if this is all a result of my powers manipulating your mind? Would it still be right for me to accept you?"

She looked at me, surprised. Then I smacked my palm against my face. She hadn't known anything about my powers. All this time she thought her actions had been her own, and she had been struggling to understand them. I was a fool to think she saw anything in me. Why would she want to give herself to such a loser? But it was her turn to surprise me. She grabbed my wrists and pulled my hands away from my face, bringing her lips forward to meet mine. I broke away suddenly, and she looked at me, waiting.