Chapter 17

[Cy & Leah] Late September

Friday had been an impossible day at school for Cy. His mind could not get away from thoughts about the next morning. Over and over he had decided what he was going to do, and over and over he had changed his mind.

As it turned out, Saturday afternoon was just as bad. As it drew near to dinner time, he realized that what he needed was someone to talk to, someone to tell the incredible things that had been happening to him. Dr. Waxman would certainly take the time if he asked, but she did not share his faith and her perspective was just that much different. He immediately thought of Leah. He had promised Marty to keep everything secret, but that was eating him up right then.

He thought about asking Leah to go out to eat with him, but there were two problems with that. First of all, since it would be his first date and probably hers, as well, nerves might get in the way of the serious talking he needed to do. Second, he did not want to give Leah the impression that he had a romantic interest in her. Truthfully, he was attracted to the girl, but this was not a time to initiate anything. The way she blushed when just looking at him, he guessed that she felt more than a little attraction to him. That made the date a poor idea.

He waited until after dinner before catching Leah away from the others. "Leah, I need someone to talk to. Can you keep some serious secrets?" The look of adoration that she gave back almost made him change his mind, but having committed that far, he would have hurt her by backing off. She could not speak, only nod. "Would you come to my room? We need privacy." Another blushing nod.

The individual rooms at the Tee were quite small, but there was room for a love seat along with the bed and dresser. Cy led Leah to the couch and sat beside her.

"Before I say anything, Leah, I need your honest opinion of my grandfather. Don't worry about offending me. I will tell you that my opinion of him is very low."

"I don't know what to say," Leah started out. "He's ... he's my pastor and I always thought of him ... No! That's not true. Cy, I'm sorry, but I almost hate him! You heard my story. Well, my parents will do anything for him, but have no time at all for their children."

Really working up a head of steam, Leah went on. "They treated us more like animals. Just make sure we're all caged up so we can't do anything sinful, and then don't worry about us. I can see why my brother lied to get into the army early. There! I've said it! Why did you need to know."

"My grandfather is my father. He raped his own daughter."

The color left Leah's face and she wobbled a bit where she sat. For many seconds it seemed like it was all she could do to breathe sufficiently. Little by little her color returned, then it intensified until her face was even redder than the many times when she blushed. Suddenly, meek little beaten-down Leah was on her feet, fists clenched, eyes flashing, clearly very, very angry. It was certainly not what Cy would have expected of her.

"It was all lies?" she almost screamed, making Cy glad that he had closed the door behind them. "Every time he talked about it in church? Every time he spoke to a youth rally and got all choked up and teary-eyed? It was all a lie? He raped his own daughter?"

Leah was almost vibrating with rage. At first just stunned at the unexpected display by the girl, he began to see that the anger was just a way of releasing the anguish she felt. He got up and pulled her into his arms. For a moment, she was as stiff as a board in his embrace. When she relaxed, it was more like she disintegrated. The anger changed instantly to deep, wracking sobs.

Crying females were becoming a frequent part of Cy's life recently. With Leah, he was very puzzled about how to react. He liked the girl very much and he appreciated her willingness to listen. Now, though, she was obviously very, very troubled, and he felt bad about that. While trying to help him, she had taken a psychological blow that she could not handle.

As these thoughts were racing through his mind, the situation got more serious. Leah went limp in his arms. He was just able to keep her from falling to the floor and he muscled her onto his bed. Seeing her shiver a little, he pulled the coverlet over her and tried to decide what to do.

Muriel, the housemother, was his first thought. He was reluctant to leave Leah alone, so he just stood in his doorway and called to Libby, who was watching TV in the common area. He asked Libby to get Muriel to his room and said it was urgent.

To her credit, Muriel did not give him an accusatory look when she saw Leah's condition. "I just told her what I had found out about my situation. She got real angry at first, then she collapsed," he explained.

Before he even finished his explanation, Muriel had pushed a speed dial button on her cell phone. Shortly, she was explaining the situation to someone. Cy assumed it was Dr. Waxman, and that was verified when Muriel handed him the phone.

"What set her off, Cy?" Julia asked.

"I told about - everything," he said, not wanting to get Muriel into the loop. "She got really angry and was shouting for a while. I hugged her, and she just ... fainted."

"How long has she been out?"

"Almost five minutes, now."

"OK, I'll get Ryan over there right away just to watch her until I get there. It will be about twenty minutes. Cy, you didn't do anything wrong and I doubt there is any serious problem with Leah."

By the time everything got sorted out, almost three hours had gone by. Julia spent a long time in Cy's room alone with Leah, just talking to the girl. Of course, the situation could not be hidden from the other kids and Cy and Julia worked up an explanation. The others, showing that they really were good kids, did not press, did not make any jokes, and showed genuine concern.

After Julia had taken Leah back to her own room to clean up and get ready for bed, she pulled Cy into his room to talk to him. With a sigh, she began "It seems like you are taking on the burden of being the, uh, main support for a number of women. I know that you need the support as much as they do, but...

"Cy, Leah has no support system at all right now. Sure, the people here are good to her, but she sees herself as different from the other kids and separated because of her beliefs. Well, right now, she is about ready to discard her beliefs, and I don't want see that happen in her current state.

"What I'm trying to say is that you are Leah's only anchor right now. Can you handle that?"

"Well, I really like her, and I feel responsible for telling her my news and causing this," he answered. "I'll do whatever I can."

"I need to warn you that she may fall hopelessly in love with you, if it hasn't already happened. I know you probably don't feel that way about her."

"I could tell she felt something pretty strong for me. I almost didn't tell her because of that," he admitted.

"This may be one of the strangest requests I've ever made as a doctor, but would you let her sleep with you tonight? It would be dangerous for her to be alone. Would you also make sure she gets to church with the group tomorrow. She needs to keep that connection with her faith. We can't let her react in shock and anger."

"Wow! I've never even kissed a girl besides Mom and Grandma. I..."

"I know all of that, Cy. For tonight, I'm afraid it's either your bed or a hospital bed. Hopefully, things will be a lot better by tomorrow."

"I'll do what I can to help," he said quietly.

"Just do what she needs," Julia instructed.

Julia brought Leah back to Cy's room, dressed in a very chaste nighty and a robe. Her face was again bright red, but at least this time it was a blush, not a flush of fury."

"Cy, I..." Leah started to say. In a tender, instinctive move, he put a finger over her lips and got behind her to help her off with her robe. She seemed almost like a small child as he held back the covers and she got in.

Julia said goodnight and the two of them were alone. It was still a little early, but he could see her exhaustion. He sat beside her on the bed and took her hand in his. Neither said a word and in a very few minutes, she was sleeping.

When he pulled his hand from her grasp to undress for bed, she roused a little and whimpered. After holding still for a couple more minutes, he was able to leave her and prepare for sleep.

It was strange knowing that a girl was sharing his bed, but she was dead to the world and they were not touching. His own emotional exhaustion overtook him and he joined her in sleep.

There was no way for him to tell what time it was when something woke him. It was still completely dark and he could tell that Leah had left his bed. He assumed she had just made a trip to the bathroom, but he noticed light coming through his open door, which he knew he had closed earlier.

Concerned because of her mental state, he got out of bed and headed for the door. Right at the end of the bed, his foot hit some cloth lying there. Looking closely, he could tell that it was Leah's nightgown. As he moved with even more concern, his foot felt a smaller cloth item right in the doorway. From the texture, he knew it was her panties. At that point, some unavoidable excitement joined his concern.

In the common area, looking ethereal but utterly fetching in the soft after-hours light, Leah sat naked on the edge of the hot tub, absent-mindedly moving her feet back and forth in the water. Although he did not think she looked up to see him approach, she began talking to him.

"I'm still alive. I'm not dead and in hell. I'm naked and you're looking at me. Nothing bad has happened. I guess that was another lie."

She looked up at him and cupped a hand under each of her breasts. From their time in school together, he had thought of her as without curves because of the way she dressed. Seeing her in her swimsuit the other night had destroyed that impression. Now, in the dim light, her breasts looked so appealing.

"These are ugly, disgusting, and only there to feed babies. They should be disguised so know one knows I have them and no one should ever see them. Was that a lie, too? Do you think they're ugly and disgusting, Cy?"

He knew he absolutely had to respond to her. They only problem was that his mouth did not want to work. "Th ... they're beautiful, Leah. Really b ... beautiful," he managed to stammer out.

"Did you see your mother's this morning? Were they naked when you visited them?" He had told the others that he was visiting his mother and grandmother, and they all knew the women were residents at Transformations. "I'll bet your mother's are very nice, aren't they. She is a pretty woman."

Leah's voice was soft and her speech was slow and deliberate, her tone flat and emotionless. It made Cy shiver a little to hear her. "Do they like being naked all the time, Cy? Do they like the men looking at them? Are there really boys there with the naked women?

"Do you think I could go to Transformations? I would like to be naked and have the boys look at me. I like my body. I don't think it's ugly or disgusting. I want people to look at me and tell me I'm not ugly."

It was time to say something again, and he had the same problem. "Leah, who told you your body was ugly and disgusting? I can't believe anyone would say that. You look beautiful!"

"I wish I could believe that," she said in the same flat voice. "You have to say that so the freaked-out girl doesn't get worse and do something crazy."

How could he convince her what he really thought of her body? It did not take long to think of the perfect way, but could he do it? He was used to thinking of others' needs first, and he hardly paused as he pulled off the tee shirt that he slept in. She was watching, no longer looking detached, as he lowered his shorts, having to pull the waistband way out to clear his rampant erection.

That marked the end of Leah's worrisome little monologue. He could almost see one of her brightest blushes, even in the dim light. She still had her hands cupped under her breasts and as she stared at his hardon, her fingers moved to pinch and pull on her nipples.

Not understanding where his boldness came from, he took the few steps necessary to sit beside her with his feet in the water. Perhaps some exhibitionism was as essential for him as it was for her because he did not attempt to hide the shaft angling upward from his crotch. They sat together in silence for two or three minutes, with her eyes locked on his crotch and her fingers working her nubs.

"Do you m ... masturbate?" she asked to break the silence. At his grunt of assent, she said "I learned about it from some girls at school. I don't know if it made things better or worse."

"You kinda frightened me, Leah?" he said, eager to change the subject.

"Is that why you're sticking up like that?" He had not wanted attention on his arousal, but the fact that she could tease was heartening.

"That's just the effect you have on me."

"The girls at school say guys get hard over almost anything." He could not tell if she was teasing or serious.

"So, you want to believe that you're ugly?" he retorted.

"Oh, Cy, I don't want to believe that at all," she said, and then he was again faced with tears. "What I want is for you to take me in your arms and kiss me. I want to put my hands around that and rub it. I want you to put it inside of me and make me feel the earth move like I've heard about. I want to say 'It's all a lie, so why should I be a good girl any more?' But I can't do that."

He had his hands on the tub edge with his arms straight. She used both of her arms to hug herself against his. They both just enjoyed the feeling of her softness against his arm for a while before she spoke again.

"Cy, if I promise not to think about wedding bells and all of that, can we be boyfriend and girlfriend for a while? I won't get all mushy and embarrass you, honest? I know you're not sure how you feel about me. If you think I'm a nut case, I can see why.

"Living here for a while, I've had a taste of being normal, and I like it. Isn't it normal for a sixteen-year-old girl to have a boyfriend? I don't know or trust any other boys."

"I'd like that, Leah. You know, things could get pretty crazy around me for a while."

"That's OK. I was so happy when you asked if you could talk to me tonight. No one has ever trusted me like that before. Then I went and freaked out on you. I'm so sorry, Cy!"

"Hey, it got me a chance to sleep with my new girlfriend. That makes it a good deal for me."

"Oh, you!" her playful swat at him further signaled the end of her 'attack'. At the same time, they both seemed to realize how inappropriate their current activity was and modesty returned in full force.

When he had pulled his shorts on, she had pulled on his shirt that he had offered her, and they were walking back to his room, she said "My body is screaming for me to curl up in your arms and sleep the rest of the night. The other kids are really nice, but I don't want to give them any wrong ideas. I'll be OK in my own room, now. Honest. Well, maybe a little lonely."

She had picked up her own clothes and was ready to leave when she turned to Cy and said "'Sixteen and never been kissed' is lousy. Can we take care of that?" They did.

[Leah] Late September

Between Cy and Leah, Cy and Mary, and Cy and his mother and grandmother, there was plenty of reason for blushing and embarrassment. That Sunday morning, though, the whole 'regular' crew was off to church together.

Lindsey had only had time for a brief conversation with Cy earlier in the week. She and the Schermer sisters were chatting happily with Cy and Leah as they pulled into the church lot. The light mood ended when Leah gasped at the sight of her parents standing in the church entrance, obviously waiting for her.

Her immediate reaction was to retreat back to the van. Cy, however, took her hand and told her "You're the one in control, now, Leah. There's no need to run from them."

Mark, who faithfully attended church with Lindsey, his fiance, saw Leah's upset and quickly moved up on the other side of her. Rich Krenz was soon behind her, along with Floyd Hall.

They were still a ways away from the entrance and Sarah asked "Leah, what's wrong."

"M ... my parents," was all the girl could get out.

Sarah grabbed Sonja by the hand and the sisters marched ahead right up to Norman and his wife. Sensing the sisters' plan, Mark grabbed Leah's other hand to hurry them all along.

Sticking out her hand toward the scowling Norman, Sarah said brightly "Hello! I'm Sarah Schermer and this is my sister Sonja. Is this your first time to attend one of our services. If so, we would like to welcome you."

By that time, Leah's group had caught up and was almost abreast of the parents. Both of them clearly wanted get to their daughter but Sarah had positioned herself so skillfully and was doing such a good job of glad-handing that the parents would have had to be downright rude to catch Leah before she went inside. They could not do it.

"Let's get seated," Cy said. "We'll surround you so they can't sit close."

"Don't worry. They won't come in here," Leah said. "But they'll be waiting outside afterwards."

"But it won't surprise you - you can compose yourself," Mark told her.

After the service, Leah was indeed more composed. Just before they went out the door, she stopped and said "Let me and Cy face them. I'll be fine. Hold my hand, Cy?"

She seemed to want to lead, and Cy was happy to let her be a bit ahead, seeming to pull him along by his hand. He saw a side of Leah that he would never have expected. She stopped in front of her parents with almost a stomp of her feet and assumed a very aggressive posture while still holding his hand.

"We've been over all of this before," Leah said sharply. "Why are you harassing me?"

"Harassing?" her mother snapped angrily. "You're our daughter and you've run away from home. We have a right to bring you back where you belong."

"Wrong! You have no right. The lawyers have already worked that out. You had sixteen years to make your house a home for me. You chose to make it a prison instead. I have a new home, now - a much better one."

Changing tactics, Leah's mother adopted a sneer that should have been intimidating. "I see it did not take long for you to forsake all of the righteousness you have been taught and become a slut."

Cy was about to counter that, but Leah beat him to it. "Let's see," she said sarcastically, "where was that Bible verse that said holding hands was a sin. I forget."

Norman, the elder, was apparently not up to battling at that level. He was also stunned that his always-meek daughter would actually talk back to her mother. It was something he himself never had the balls to do.

"And you!" the mother continued, addressing Cy. "You have caused Reverend Matthews so much heartache. How could you leave such a wonderful Christian home to live with such sinners?"

Refusing to look at Norman, Cy said to the woman "Your husband knows the truth about my grandfather's 'wonderful Christian home'. Perhaps someday he will find the courage to tell you the truth."

With that, Cy took the lead and pulled Leah to the side and around her parents. As they walked away, they could hear the mother hissing out "What did he mean by that, Norman?"

It had been all Cy could do to keep from telling the truth. He knew that it would get harder and harder.

[Marty] Early October

Marty was very much looking forward to the meeting, even though it was likely to be tumultuous. It had been painful to sever her long-term lawyer-client relationship with Caz Calloway, but she was even more certain now that it was the right step.

Representing Cy Matthews, and then Rachel and Naomi, had put her in a position to help Caz obtain closure without having to violate either her professional ethics or his extorted support agreement. Caz had believed, correctly, that Cy would become curious enough about his parentage to take steps to find out the truth.

Armed with the hopefully legal DNA results totally disproving Caz's paternity, legal depositions from Rachel and Naomi affirming the Reverend's rape of his daughter, and the DNA results from the illegally obtained sample from the Reverend, proving beyond a doubt that he was Cy's father, Marty entered the offices of Reverend Matthews' attorneys.

Not knowing how many people she would be meeting with, she had made four copies of everything. There were three men, and Marty could barely restrain herself from rubbing her hands in glee.

What she presented to the 'opposing' counsel was an agreement that she had carefully written up to mirror the original extortion agreement very closely, but without the few loopholes that she had found in that agreement. There was a summary of the agreement on the first page.

In exchange for her clients' (Cy's, Rachel's, and Naomi's) agreement not to press charges for statutory rape and physical and psychological abuse and to keep all of the pertinent events secret, her clients demanded several things.

First, they demanded payment to Carter Calloway of all of the money he had payed as child support plus interest plus treble damages. Caz had already decided for himself to put that money (just under three million) in trust to assure future support for Cy, Rachel, and Naomi, but that did not need to be stated.

The second demand was an immediate uncontested divorce for Naomi and alimony payments that were well above the general guidelines, just as Caz's extorted payments had been. The divorce was to stipulate absolutely no future contact initiated by Reverend Matthews.

The last demand was that Reverend Matthews immediately retire from the ministry and agree not to be involved in any Christian ministry for the rest of his life.

When she felt that the men were just finishing the summary letter describing the offer, Marty added "Of course, we cannot speak for Mr. Calloway. A separate agreement guaranteeing his secrecy would have to be obtained. There is also the matter of the Reverend's co-conspirators in the original extortion. You would have to obtain Mr. Calloway's agreement not to prosecute them, as well, and work out some guarantee of their silence on the matter."

The obvious leader of the trio gave a dramatic snort and disdainfully threw the offer summary onto the table. "Why have you wasted our time with this nonsense?" He demanded.

Marty did not answer him but looked hard at the oldest of the three men. He had a sober, stricken expression and she went with her instincts. "I assume that you replaced the attorney who resigned when he discovered the truth about the rape and the extortion," she said to the man.

"Don't say a word!" the leader snapped at the older man. Marty slid the packets of evidence to the men and two of them tore into the packets as quickly as they could while trying to appear sedate and disinterested.

"That is not a legal DNA sample from Reverend Matthews!" the leader almost shouted. "You cannot use that! You cannot even mention it without incurring a slander suit!"

Marty gave a dramatic shrug. "We would not have to use it. The boy obtained it for his own closure. The testimony of the wife and daughter will be more than enough. The only possible way for Reverend Matthews to fight the charges would be to get DNA evidence disproving his parentage. His refusal to give a sample will be seen as prima facia evidence of guilt by the public - and a jury. In fact, in a rape case, he can be forced to yield the sample.

"Oh, and imagine how eager the press would be to bribe some lab employee for copies of the results. Such things happen all of the time, you know."

"That's conspiracy!"

"You mean like that perpetrated upon young Mr. Calloway?"

"You have yet to prove that." Marty just smiled at that lame retort.

"But the girl testified that Calloway was the father!"

"And we would have ample testimony to document the kind of stress and near slavery under which the members of Reverend Matthews' family lived. What would a terrified fourteen-year-old girl do to make the rapes stop?

"That does not even mention the multiple polygraphs that the Calloway family passed with flying colors after they were deposed on the events of the night that Carter Calloway was forced to sign the agreement."

The men were finally silent. "In one week, if that agreement is not executed, my clients have instructed me to turn all of the acquired evidence over to attorneys for Mr. Calloway. At that point, a civil suit for recovery of the money will be filed, and rape, extortion, and conspiracy charges will be sought against Reverend Matthews. Do you have any questions?"

Marty waited barely ten seconds before standing and leaving the room.

[Ted] Early October

In the next management meeting, Julia lamented "Our intent was to keep the nudity away from Lindsey's Place. We, uh, aren't doing too well at that, I guess."

"Julia, it IS a crucial part of our whole program. Maybe it was unrealistic to expect that we could completely shield the kids," Paul said.

"Just another of those obvious things that I missed," Julia lamented.

"Officially, there still can't be any nudity at Lindsey's," Frank said, "for legal reasons. We all know that nothing would have the authorities on us any faster."

Muriel spoke up. "Connie is the only one of the kids with much exposure, you know. We thought that it would help her realize that the world was not how she had lived. Besides, we needed Dale to show her that not all males were like her family. The other kids know nothing about that, and there is no reason for newcomers to get any exposure. I'm sure Connie won't tell."

"Connie & Ted seem pretty attached," Julia observed.

"For Connie, Ted is just a good brother, replacing her bad ones. I think he would like more. It's rather touching to watch," Muriel said. "They're together a lot. They're affectionate, but not really romantic."

"Well, that was one of the big objectives, to create beneficial 'sibling' relationships. Muriel, just keep an eye open for any sexual activity. We probably won't interfere, but I want to know about it."

"Ted, in a couple of day, Julia is going to offer your mom the chance for you to visit her," Muriel said as she came into his room as soon as he got home from school.

His reaction was not enthusiastic. He had talked with her on the phone regularly, and every conversation had left him frustrated. It seemed like the same old themes kept getting rehashed. If there was any change, it was so gradual that he did not notice it.

"Ted, she'll be naked."

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Just talk to her, Ted. You're part of her therapy, now."

"I don't know if I can talk to her if she's ... she's naked. This is not fair, you know. I just want to get away from her, and now I have to help her."

"Ted, she will always be your mother. She has always tried to be good to you. Her problem is that she has terribly overdone it. Think how nice it would be to have a normal relationship with your mother for the rest of your life."

"As if."

"Ted, it CAN happen. You told her yourself that the Tee changes people. Be part of that change. Can you imagine how tough it is for her to be naked with you? The fact that she is doing it means a lot. Something is happening with her."

"She probably is just desperate to baby me again." With a resigned sigh, Ted got up and said "Dad would be upset if I didn't do what I could, but Muriel, I've never even seen ... I mean, I'll be so nervous I won't be able to think. She'll be able to do all her usual stuff, and I won't have a chance."

"Don't you think she'll be pretty nervous, having to be naked for the first time in front of her son?" Muriel asked.

"When she gets in her mothering mode, I doubt that she will even notice," he grumped.

"Well, I want you to come to dinner with me and Julia tonight. We want to talk about just that problem," Muriel told him. "I'll come and get you at about 6:15, OK?"

Ted realized that they were headed toward the famous 'center section', which he knew from the grapevine was all nude. That did not make him comfortable.

Uncomfortable turned to catatonic when he and Muriel stepped through the door that she had opened. There stood Julia, spectacularly naked. He stood frozen for long moments, then turned to look at Muriel, who was equally naked.

"Ted, we know what a shock it will be to try to talk to your mother when you have never been with a naked woman before. We're doing this to try to give you just a little edge." Julia explained.

She went on. "I think it is important for you to try to establish a dominant role when you meet her."

"Dominant? Me? Over Mom? You've got to be kidding."

"No, I'm very serious. We'll talk about that over dinner, OK? Oh, meet Missy."