Of late, I have gotten into the habit of suddenly sitting back, in the midst of work, gazing out of the window and thinking of her. Sigh! I am a 35 year old man and I have a terrific job. Ihave a good team to work with and I enjoy my work tremendously. A lot of travel is involved, which I actually consider a perk, as I just love meeting people and interacting with them. But when it comes to making those reports... gosh! I get really lazy and have to literally force myself to finish them. Our offices are located on the seventh floor of the office complex and I have a fantastic view of a part of the city from my cabin's picture window. It really is very soothing to be sitting up here and seeing the hustle and bustle of city life and the traffic far below from this height without the sound effects. Sometimes I feel like God, watching it.
She would giggle every time I told her that. She would make all sorts of excuses to come up to my office and then stand gazing out from the window with a faraway look on her face. She is crazy about the beach. Everytime we talked about a get-away-from-it-all, she would immediately wish it were around 11 am in the morning on a deserted beach, with room service... or was that beach service?? Sigh. Music, some cold drinks, a lot of talk, gazing at each other...
I always thought I am the sort of guy who is not sentimental or who ever sits back and remembers with nostalgia, little things about a person - like a gesture, a mannerism or even snatches of conversation. Work has usually occupied most of my time and attention, so much so that I have tended to take most things for granted. Now I feel rather older, definitely wiser and mellower. All in the space of a year. Perhaps missing someone desperately brings out these latent qualities.
When we parted, she and I, I practically threw myself into my work with a vengeance. I often stayed over at office where I have a really comfortable couch. I kept this up for eight months. Things have sort of established themselves and I have been elevated twice in my job. My boss is a close friend of mine and I have a lot of women trying to establish contact all the time. I enjoy perfect physical health. I am considered athletic, sexy and handsome and very attractive to women. I have dated off and on, but never really got serious over anyone, until she came into my life, when I literally fell for her like a ton of bricks.
I miss her. So much. Funny, I don't miss my folks as much, with whom I have lived most of my life. I now live in the apartment where she and I lived after we got married to each other. I visit my folks about twice a month and my mother tries to probe. She is very fond of my wife. In fact, they got along fantastically from the moment they met. It was one of those wonderfully rare instances whe my mother took to someone so well. She often said she was destined for me. And so, after a torrid six-month courtship, we married quietly.
Life was great. We were so compatible, it was crazy. Not that we agreed on everything, but it was fun to agree to disagree. And then, there was always the making up. I guess we both looked forward to it. I remember this one time when she was relating an incident and it came to arguing about whose side would we take, if it came to that. Well, we differed. And then, without warning she just sprang up from the floor where she was lounging and fell on me. I was sitting on the sofa with a glass of juice in my hand... and just when she went for me I had it resting on my tummy. It spilled all over us... I dropped the glass and she grabbed my hand, and slowly began licking my fingers off. It was such an erotic moment.
We had some lovely saxophone music in the background. She stretched her leg out... and switched the light off with her foot. She had this little smile on her face. Our room was bathed in a sort of twilight glow... that time of day when natural light makes everything look romantic. Except that right now, we were both bathed in the glow of lust, rather than romance. While she was withdrawing her foot from the light switch, I put my hand on the underside of her knee... and she held that pose.
She has a beautiful body and wonderful skin. She loves to be caressed. Right now she was in a long sleeveless teeshirt with tags that tied at the shoulders and a pair of panties. My eyes ran across the shape of her leg, with my fingers following suit. As my palm cupped her crotch, I heard a quick intake of breath. Her eyes were half closed. She stopped, with my thumb in her mouth. Then removed it and taking my hand, put it on her breast. I slowly drew her closer, and gently tugged at the tag on one shoulder, which fell off, revealing her now aroused breast with her erect nipple. Mesmerised, I bent my head forward and took her nipple in my mouth. I flicked at it with my tongue, with the nipple inside my mouth. Her lips parted. With my other hand, I moved her panty aside and began to stroke her. She raised her hands and ran them through her long hair.
The sight of her had me aroused and I wanted her. Lowering her hands, she slipped her fingers into the waistband of my shorts and pulled it down in one quick motion. My cock sprang up. She pushed my hand away from her pussy and straddled me, and taking me in her hand, slowly slipped the head of my cock into her, really slowly. As I moved into her warm silky pussy, she took my head in her hands and drew my mouth to her breast. Seduction is a very erotic thing. It takes you steadily and irrevocably to a point of no return, especially when its someone you are crazy about. I was no exception. As I suckled at her breast, my hand fondling the other breast, she began to move, beginning to ride my cock. Our breathing quickened. While neither of us wanted to hasten the process of reaching orgasm, we were very excited.
Her hands gripped my head, and I knew she was getting close. Suddenly she struggled and disengaged herself from my cock, which came out with a 'pop'. She grabbed me and kissed my mouth and turning around beckoned me to enter her from behind, doggy style. I lifted her on to the sofa, so that she was comfortably on all fours, kneeling, giving me the right leverage to play with her breasts. Holding her by the waist, I teased her with my cock along the crack of her ass. I was crazy about her ass. Beautifully shaped and supple. I reached around to feel her clitoris and was excited to see that she was very very wet. Of its own volition, the head of my cock was twitching, and I entered her warm pussy, smoothly and slickly. I stayed that way for a moment, savoring the feeling, before beginning to fuck her. I bent forward slightly so that one of my hands could fondle her breasts while the other could rub her clit. She loved this combination of being fucked while her clit was rubbed. I increased the tempo and I could sense by her moans that she would be peaking very soon. This aroused me more and, ramming at her, we exploded on each other, and spent, just stayed that way for what seemed like a long time, but in fact, was only a few seconds. My cock slipped out of her, dripping with our juices. She turned around, and sat with a thud on the sofa. Her face was rosy and had a sated expression. I was about to ask her if she was thirsty when she put a finger on my lips and took my limp cock in her hand. She caressed it. Then, when it began to show signs of life, took it in her mouth and began to gently suck it. She looked up at my face, and I immediately wanted her again. She took my hand and guided it to her pussy. It was still very wet, with our cum. I pressed my hand down on her shoulder, indicating that I wanted to lie on the sofa, so that she could lie on me, while we did the 69. Quickly, she climbed on to me, spreading her legs over my face, so that I could lick her. She was licking the underside of my cock, all the way from my balls to the tip of the head, and when she got there, she took the head in her mouth, sucking it firmly, like a lollypop. She was playing with my balls, alternately caressing and squeezing them gently.
Soon she was taking the entire length of my cock into her mouth and mouth fucking me. I realized I was thrusting up in reaction. I held her cunt lips open and began to finger fuck her, with slow deep strokes as I flicked my tongue across her clit. I sucked on it. I could feel her shudder. Then I felt the rush of my cum through my cock. She sensed it too and got off my face, sliding off my body, so that I could look down and watch myself spurt, on to her face and breasts. I cum rather a lot, as she enjoyed telling me often. When I was done, I remembered that she had not cum yet, and got up, smiling, to take her face in my hands and kiss her deeply. Then I sat her on the sofa, spread her legs, while I knelt on the floor and started licking her. I licked her inner thighs. She loved that.
She has the sort of cunt lips that hang out prominently. Her clit is rather small and the hood juts out just a little when she's aroused. But she gets so wet, so very wet. And I just loved that because it turned me on no end. I put her thighs to rest on my shoulders and starting fucking her with my tongue, while massaging her clit with my thumb. I looked up at her and saw her rolling her nipples between her thumbs and forefingers. She was smiling. I slipped a finger, then two into her soaking cunt and smiled back at her. She indicated that I should tongue her clit and so I did just that. I could see her writhing as I continued to finger fuck her and sucked her clit at the same time... suddenly she was there, cumming with long shudders. She grabbed my head and held it there. We were both ready to hold each other close now. We walked through to our bedroom and lay on the cool sheet, drifting off to sleep...
Phew, that was a vivid memory!! I think the issue with us is pride. And it has certainly come before this fall in our lives. I wonder often, these days, why we separated. Time brings a lot of things into perspective, dulls a lot of pain. It was one of those mornings when everything goes wrong, or seems to, just because we are late for work. Things would have probably been better if we had both kept our heads. But these flashes of wisdom only come when its too late. What with one thing and the other, we slammed the doors on each other. I do not know what she is doing now. She left a note which just said she was leaving. I was too proud at the time to go and fetch her and I am sure she is too proud to get in touch. Sometimes I am guilty that I did not once bother to contact her, but I console myself weakly that neither did she. After she left, I made sure that I was out of town most of the time, maybe to justify how busy I was. I don't know. Most of the things we do at these times are rather illogical though we do them all the same.
I remember how she believed in telling me she loved me, often. Suddenly she would catch my hand in the middle of a conversation and say 'I love you' in a warm tone. I always grinned when she said that, but now I realized how it subconsciously mattered a lot. She believed in the theory of 'if you love someone show it' I have teased her a lot about it. But she always took it sportingly. Funny how I was never suspicious of her wide circle of male friends, now that I think of it. Even now, I don't wonder who she is with.
She makes me secure in her love, as I am sure she loves me, just as I love her. Maybe we needed some time and space apart. I have felt miserable at times. Chauvinistically, when I miss my breakfast being made, my clothes being taken care of, her face at the table and her kiss before I left to work... I often wondered how she managed to get ready within half an hour of my departure from home and leave for work, looking chic and smart and above all, practically always in a great mood.
I remember one day I had left for work, but remembering something at the gate, had gone back into the apartment. When I entered the bedroom, I was wondering what she was doing, and hearing the sounds from the open bathroom, had casually looked in. The sight of her standing under the shower with her face raised to the stream of water had aroused me instantly. She was unaware of being watched because of the sound of the water. Even as I noticed the water flowing down her lovely body, I dropped my briefcase on the bed and slipped off my shoes and socks. I quickly undid my tie, shirt and vest. My belt and trousers followed. By now, as I continued to watch her lathering her body with soap, humming softly under her breath, my cock was erect and throbbing. Completely nude now, I silently padded across to the shower and slipped my arms around her. Shocked, she shrieked and struggled. I held her close and firm and bending her slightly forward, shoved my cock into her. She had stopped struggling. She must have realized who it was and I could hear her giggling almost silently. I thrust in and out of her as if in a hurry to cum. I heard her moaning as she thrust back. This heightened my senses and going like a piston, I was ready to shoot into her. She must have felt the urgency too, as, in tune with me, she began to rub her clit, orgasming with me as I burst into her. I kept up the movement until my cock became too soft. I gripped her body until we calmed. She grabbed a towel and stepped out, while I stood there, feeling the water flow over me. I felt terrific.
When I emerged from the bathroom, I was a little surprised that she was already dressed to leave. We didn't exchange a single word. Just smiled at each other. The whole thing had taken just half an hour. It was wonderful. We locked up and left.
She has a really sunny disposition. The ability to take everything cool. The funny part is she would argue for hours about something which did not concern her directly and then turn right around to justify the whole thing. She had an explanation, an answer for everything, and usually cheerfully. She had her faults, of course. But then, who doesn't? They seemed quite negligible compared to the tolerant attitude she had towards everything that really mattered.
She does not work at the same place any more. I think I ought to find out where she is. I have now come to the conclusion that when two people love each other, pride has to be buried somewhere deep and far away. It does not matter who makes the first move, as long as it is made. That's all that matters.
Back to the present. It is time to leave work. I feel much more positive after all that thinking. Tomorrow's another day and I will start looking for her. I have to meet some old friends today.
Chapter 2: To The End
I am driving out to the restaurant where I am meeting my friends. This place has a lot of memories for me. It is where I introduced her to these same friends. And if I know them as well as I think I do, they would have booked the same table! They have tried to get me to discuss my separation, but it didn't get them anywhere because I've played dumb and deaf about it.
Maybe because I have not wanted to hear about what she is doing now - you see - the wives of two of these friends are pretty close pals of hers. I don't really have to do any serious searching to find her. All I've got to do is call one of them up and ask. They'd be only too eager to tell me more than I want to hear. But I wont do that. In some perverted - yeah, perverted - way, I feel I have to do it all myself. Very uncharacteristic, but that's the way it is. Sometimes I am childishly stubborn. I guess that's the way I am!
Right enough, as the doorman opens the door, I can see them from where I am standing - an expectant look on their faces. But dinner goes quite normally and I am surprised to find myself heaving a sign of relief as I drive myself back home to the apartment.
There is a sort of bridge on the way, where she loved to stop and gaze at the still waters. I had slowed down and realized I had stopped. I often seem to get into these 'memory-lane' routes these days, don't I? Maybe in my own way, I am trying reach the point of wanting to reach out for her. There was this time when we were holding each other and standing by the bridge. Not much traffic passes this way as it is almost private - and it only leads to a residential area eventually. We chose that area to be away from the noise of the city. Not that it was that far... but it gave the nice illusion of being isolated.
She was wearing a red tank top with nothing on underneath and a black and white wrap-around skirt. I would often tease her about her penchant for wrap-around clothes, and she would smugly inform me that all I had to do was tug once... to get close! I smiled at the memory. It must be all that wine. I remembered the way I had run my hands up her legs under her skirt... she had seriously told me that she was very horny and wanted to be taken right there on the bridge, under the stars.
And I had done just that. Gently parted her skirt. If anyone actually came by, it would look I was just hugging my sweetheart from behind, which was in fact what I was doing. I was amazed to find she had no panties on. This excited me instantly and I couldn't wait to get inside her. Smiling herself, she turned around and helped me undo my trousers quickly, put her hand in to free my cock and stroked it firmly. Then she looked at me and winked and turning around, casually bent forward, resting her elbows on the side of the bridge. I guided the tip of my cock to her pussy, rubbing the head against her wetness. I entered her slowly and buried my cock in her completely. She reached around for my hands and I cupped her breasts under her top. Her nipples were quite hard. She wiggled her ass and flexed her muscles around my cock. It was heavenly. Suddenly I wanted to fuck her hard. Lowering one hand, I felt for her clit and started a slow circular motion there. Then I withdrew from her almost fully and thrust in, in one smooth stroke. I repeated this a few times, and could sense that she was enjoying it very much. Now I had to increase my speed. I couldn't stop. I began thrusting into her faster. I could hear her begin to moan deeply. Her hands were now gripping the sides of the railing. And her body began to twitch slightly. I knew she was going to cum. This excited me too, and frantically ramming into her, I felt the rush in my cock as I started cumming myself. That was stupendous! When we recovered from our heady feeling a few seconds later, we became conscious of our surroundings.
The realization of what we had just done struck us both simultaneously as very funny and we began to laugh until tears streamed off our faces. I was holding her tight and she had her head thrown back against my chest. Perhaps if I were to be asked to recount some of my happiest moments, this would be one of them. Well, we gradually calmed down. My cock had slipped out of her and was dripping. She didn't have much to do to adjust her clothing, I thought, smiling. I zipped up and not bothering to tuck my shirt in, hugged her again. We decided to go home. We were both feeling very euphoric. I cant really imagine enjoying sex with anyone else as I did with her.
I started my car and drove down the short distance to my apartment, feeling rather lonely especially after re-living those memories. Back then, soon after we reached home, she had launched into this idea of wanting to start a kind of home for the homeless. She was big on taking up causes. She enjoyed putting in whatever free time she had in orphanages, even regularly contributing to some of them in her own way. I always thought that she would be very good if she did start something on her own because she has the dedication and energy. She tends to concentrate on whatever is on her mind at that point of time and gets very serious about it. I cant recall a time when I associated the words dull or boring with her. Which is what attracted her to me in the first place.
Ah! The first time we met! It was at a friend's party. She was animatedly arguing with my friend's very pregnant wife who was sitting with an amused look on her face and making obligingly correct noises from time to time, when I arrived. I was introduced to her. She nodded to me, broke off her conversation with my friend's wife and walked off. I was a bit lost. She was back in the next five minutes carrying a tray of drinks, which she offered me. Then she sat next to me on the settee and dazzling me with a smile, came over the heavy socialite asking all the right questions. I was quite dazed by the time she was through. Just as I was leaving she asked me if anyone had thought to mention that I looked better than a movie star. Completely embarrassed now, I managed to say something appropriate. I had a bike back then. She waved me away, saying that she had to turn in early as she had a big day ahead of her. She was staying over at my friend's place.
I had not been taken over by storm like this by a woman before. I was almost in shock as I rode back home. I went to bed in a trance. I think I dreamed of her. I woke up to the memory of her smiling face. You bet I was smitten!! It was barely 6.30 am, an hour I hardly knew existed. I had to see her. I did a record 'getting-ready' act and was out at my friend's place by 7.15 am.
As I walked up their drive wondering what I could say to her, I saw her, all dressed and ready, sitting on the lawn, scribbling away in her diary. She sensed my presence, looked at me, said an absent-minded hi-there and continued to write. This dampened me somewhat. I couldn't decide whether to just go ahead and meet my friend or talk to her anyway. She made my decision for me telling me not to bother talking to her as she was busy for at least another 10 minutes. She said I could drop her off at work if I liked. Which is what I ended up doing, after fidgeting around while she finished her stuff. She gathered her things, put them into a crazy looking bag and we left together. She worked with an advertising firm. She got off my bike, humming, as we reached her office complex and with a 'bye' breezed off. I made a dignified departure.