Looking Back At Ways To Improve
By now you have been having and partaking of sex for several years so I would like you to look on this as Sexology 301, NOT an Intro to sex but ways to improve the relations you have with your partner be she wife, girlfriend or significant other. (Hopefully not all three at the same time!)
My name is NOT Don Juan and it certainly isn't Casanova but I have learned a few things over the years that I wish to share. As I can't share them with my sons (Did you ever get that look? It starts with a smirk, then the eyes saying, "Sure Dad, just what are YOU going to be able to teach ME?") I decided I would put them into book form to share with you.
This is not a BRAG book either as I have made every mistake that a male can make with a female. Going fast when I should take my time, taking my time when I should go fast and so on. Being more concerned about pleasing ME instead of my partner. However... Over the years I have learned and it is this insight that I am trying to pass on to you.
Among the things I'm NOT, I'm not hung like John Holmes or Long Dong Silver. From reading some of these stories the average length of a male cock these days is 14 inches! When truly aroused I am just shy of half that length. With that six and a half inches I have been able to please two people however, Me and the Female I was with! I figure that's all that's important. 85 percent of the feelings and nerve ending in a female vagina are concentrated in the first three to four inches. It is this area that ALL of us stimulate to bring her to orgasm. Ramming into and through the cervix and into the womb is a painful experience so I've been told (You Ladies know more about that than I do!) and I frankly am NOT into pain. It comes down simply to how well you can use your instrument! You give a master musician a beat up fiddle and he/she can still make beautiful music with it. Give some doofus a Stradivarius and all you get is squeeks and sour notes. The question now is simple, are YOU a master musician when the instrument to be 'played' is your Lady?? I'm not a master but I am a highly talented Journeyman!
I like females. It doesn't matter, blondes, brunettes or redheads and now that I'm older, those that USED to be blondes, brunettes and redheads! Tall ones, short ones and medium sized ones, it doesn't really matter. I only have one requirement regarding height, their legs MUST be long enough to reach the ground. I dated a blonde once whose legs didn't quite reach and she just kinda bobbed along. You couldn't take her outside if there was a stiff breeze blowing unless you had her on a leash to keep her from blowing away.
One thing I have noticed about height, she can be taller than you or much, much shorter but laying on your side propped up on an elbow short or tall most females are the same height as you are!
I am a retired Sheriff and from time to time I will make "Observations" in here. As a Law Enforcement Officer (LEO) we are trained not just to LOOK but to SEE. Many people observe things but take no notice of them until it is pointed out by someone else. I commented to a friend of mine once, "Larry, your face looks completely naked now, I'm so used to seeing you with a mustache." He said I was the first person who had noted the change, others had looked at him and knew something was different but could not quite pick it out.
Along those same lines we have all noticed female breasts, some are much larger than others but have you noticed the LOCATION? The only thing constant about the location of a females breast is that it is somewhere on the rib cage! Some are quite high seeming to start from the shoulders while other start nearly at the diaphragm, some are very wide apart while others are jammed together so there is very little room between them.
I am basically a Leg and Ass man myself. I LOVE a pair of well constructed, slinky legs topped by a fine, tight ass. A pair of tits on the other hand (and YES, I look just like anyone else!) regardless of how fine are basically just a well constructed milk carton! Granted, some of those cartons are better constructed than others and they do feel SO nice as you massage and play with them they don't beat a nice pair of legs. The legs are the stairway to heaven!
Sexual congress (don't you like that word? I like it better than coitus!) between a male and a female can be broken into three types, Fucking, Screwing and Making Love and YES they are each different and distinct and each have their place. There are times when you just want to "get it on!", be animalistic, wild, energetic and just rip off a good piece of ass. There are times when you are feeling like taking your time, being playful and wanting to laugh, cuddle, stroke and play as the mood hits you. There are other times when you feel sweet, gentle and very romantic and want a long, slow, meaningful time of sharing, of making Love. They are ALL great if your partner is in the same mood! There is nothing worse than one being in the mood for one thing and the other partner is in the mood for something different. It makes it bad for both of you. Another reason you need to talk and communicate between yourselves! Let your partner KNOW what you are in the mood for. SHARE your feelings and desires. Guys, be willing to compromise once in a while to do as SHE wants, it will make it MUCH easier for her to do the same thing later. To postpone her desires for what YOU want. There's also nothing wrong with combining two of them either, being sweet, gentle and romantic while laughing, cuddling and stroking to your heart's content. Personally I like to combine those two as often as possible, it just makes it all better.
Try something different. Instead of giving her a John Wayne kiss, overpowering, demanding and insistant kiss her like a woman. Kiss her softly, gently. Flick your tongue softly against her lips ASKING to be allowed in rather than battering your way inside her mouth. When permission is given, enter slowly and gently. I was sitting on the arm of my sofa with my arms around a female waist. She was standing between my legs but we were not touching. I slowly leaned over and kissed her that way and had to hold her up. She CLIMAXED!! I have only done it ONCE but I have tried to repeat the experience on many, many occasions.
Just as we broke down sexual congress into three types there are also three phases. Foreplay, Doing the deed and the Afterglow as I call them. EACH is very important. Foreplay consists of more than a pat on the ass and 'Yo, bitch, spread'em!'. Many of us don't think about it but TIME is important also. Don't really try to make Love with your partner is you don't have at least an hour to share. Foreplay sets the mood for what is to come (no pun intended!). Soft, gentle kisses, stroking and fondling to set the mood. As many of you know already MOOD is VERY important with females. Females are much more Tactile than males and need a lot of stroking and touching. It is important to them to FEEL desired and wanted, not just to be told. TELLING them is important but you need to do MORE than just that. You need to SHOW them in all manner of LITTLE ways that their feelings and needs are important to you. Start this hours ahead of time. There is nothing wrong with stopping on the way home from work to get her flowers just because! Remember to pull her chair out for her when sitting down for dinner and opening the door for her both in the house and at the car. Getting a beer for yourself some evening ask if she wants one also or better, a glass of wine. These are little things but they're very important! Going into the kitchen where she is make a slight detour and give her a hug from behind. Just a hug and maybe a gentle kiss on the neck and then go on about what you were doing. Little things to let her KNOW she is loved and appreciated. This helps to set her mind towards how important she is to you, how much you care for her and will later help set her mood towards the bedroom. Even if it is not an evening when you can have sex so what, show her she matters to you even when you won't be together in bed. In fact, that is the BEST time!
Some females like slow and gentle, some like it more rough however one thing I have found is very simple. You can go from being gentle to being rough but you can't go from being rough to slow and gentle! Regardless of who your partner is, start out slow and gentle and move up as you read her responses. She will let you know by body signs if not in words what she wants. That's why communication is so important. Talk with each other while you are doing what you are doing. How can you make it better for her? What does she want from you? More pressure? Less pressure? Different spot? Longer foreplay? WHAT??? TALK to each other and find out. Make it GREAT for BOTH of you! For most of us guys it's easy, we want to fuck and cum! HOW we do that is another thing, I myself, like to raise my partner as high on the emotional scale as I can before she tips over. She carries me along with her as she climbs this ladder higher and higher which only makes it better for ME as well.
.... There is more of this story ...