Looking Back At Ways To Improve

Introduction

By now you have been having and partaking of sex for several years so I would like you to look on this as Sexology 301, NOT an Intro to sex but ways to improve the relations you have with your partner be she wife, girlfriend or significant other. (Hopefully not all three at the same time!)

My name is NOT Don Juan and it certainly isn't Casanova but I have learned a few things over the years that I wish to share. As I can't share them with my sons (Did you ever get that look? It starts with a smirk, then the eyes saying, "Sure Dad, just what are YOU going to be able to teach ME?") I decided I would put them into book form to share with you.

This is not a BRAG book either as I have made every mistake that a male can make with a female. Going fast when I should take my time, taking my time when I should go fast and so on. Being more concerned about pleasing ME instead of my partner. However... Over the years I have learned and it is this insight that I am trying to pass on to you.

Among the things I'm NOT, I'm not hung like John Holmes or Long Dong Silver. From reading some of these stories the average length of a male cock these days is 14 inches! When truly aroused I am just shy of half that length. With that six and a half inches I have been able to please two people however, Me and the Female I was with! I figure that's all that's important. 85 percent of the feelings and nerve ending in a female vagina are concentrated in the first three to four inches. It is this area that ALL of us stimulate to bring her to orgasm. Ramming into and through the cervix and into the womb is a painful experience so I've been told (You Ladies know more about that than I do!) and I frankly am NOT into pain. It comes down simply to how well you can use your instrument! You give a master musician a beat up fiddle and he/she can still make beautiful music with it. Give some doofus a Stradivarius and all you get is squeeks and sour notes. The question now is simple, are YOU a master musician when the instrument to be 'played' is your Lady?? I'm not a master but I am a highly talented Journeyman!

Chapter One

I like females. It doesn't matter, blondes, brunettes or redheads and now that I'm older, those that USED to be blondes, brunettes and redheads! Tall ones, short ones and medium sized ones, it doesn't really matter. I only have one requirement regarding height, their legs MUST be long enough to reach the ground. I dated a blonde once whose legs didn't quite reach and she just kinda bobbed along. You couldn't take her outside if there was a stiff breeze blowing unless you had her on a leash to keep her from blowing away.

One thing I have noticed about height, she can be taller than you or much, much shorter but laying on your side propped up on an elbow short or tall most females are the same height as you are!

I am a retired Sheriff and from time to time I will make "Observations" in here. As a Law Enforcement Officer (LEO) we are trained not just to LOOK but to SEE. Many people observe things but take no notice of them until it is pointed out by someone else. I commented to a friend of mine once, "Larry, your face looks completely naked now, I'm so used to seeing you with a mustache." He said I was the first person who had noted the change, others had looked at him and knew something was different but could not quite pick it out.

Along those same lines we have all noticed female breasts, some are much larger than others but have you noticed the LOCATION? The only thing constant about the location of a females breast is that it is somewhere on the rib cage! Some are quite high seeming to start from the shoulders while other start nearly at the diaphragm, some are very wide apart while others are jammed together so there is very little room between them.

I am basically a Leg and Ass man myself. I LOVE a pair of well constructed, slinky legs topped by a fine, tight ass. A pair of tits on the other hand (and YES, I look just like anyone else!) regardless of how fine are basically just a well constructed milk carton! Granted, some of those cartons are better constructed than others and they do feel SO nice as you massage and play with them they don't beat a nice pair of legs. The legs are the stairway to heaven!

Sexual congress (don't you like that word? I like it better than coitus!) between a male and a female can be broken into three types, Fucking, Screwing and Making Love and YES they are each different and distinct and each have their place. There are times when you just want to "get it on!", be animalistic, wild, energetic and just rip off a good piece of ass. There are times when you are feeling like taking your time, being playful and wanting to laugh, cuddle, stroke and play as the mood hits you. There are other times when you feel sweet, gentle and very romantic and want a long, slow, meaningful time of sharing, of making Love. They are ALL great if your partner is in the same mood! There is nothing worse than one being in the mood for one thing and the other partner is in the mood for something different. It makes it bad for both of you. Another reason you need to talk and communicate between yourselves! Let your partner KNOW what you are in the mood for. SHARE your feelings and desires. Guys, be willing to compromise once in a while to do as SHE wants, it will make it MUCH easier for her to do the same thing later. To postpone her desires for what YOU want. There's also nothing wrong with combining two of them either, being sweet, gentle and romantic while laughing, cuddling and stroking to your heart's content. Personally I like to combine those two as often as possible, it just makes it all better.

Try something different. Instead of giving her a John Wayne kiss, overpowering, demanding and insistant kiss her like a woman. Kiss her softly, gently. Flick your tongue softly against her lips ASKING to be allowed in rather than battering your way inside her mouth. When permission is given, enter slowly and gently. I was sitting on the arm of my sofa with my arms around a female waist. She was standing between my legs but we were not touching. I slowly leaned over and kissed her that way and had to hold her up. She CLIMAXED!! I have only done it ONCE but I have tried to repeat the experience on many, many occasions.

Just as we broke down sexual congress into three types there are also three phases. Foreplay, Doing the deed and the Afterglow as I call them. EACH is very important. Foreplay consists of more than a pat on the ass and 'Yo, bitch, spread'em!'. Many of us don't think about it but TIME is important also. Don't really try to make Love with your partner is you don't have at least an hour to share. Foreplay sets the mood for what is to come (no pun intended!). Soft, gentle kisses, stroking and fondling to set the mood. As many of you know already MOOD is VERY important with females. Females are much more Tactile than males and need a lot of stroking and touching. It is important to them to FEEL desired and wanted, not just to be told. TELLING them is important but you need to do MORE than just that. You need to SHOW them in all manner of LITTLE ways that their feelings and needs are important to you. Start this hours ahead of time. There is nothing wrong with stopping on the way home from work to get her flowers just because! Remember to pull her chair out for her when sitting down for dinner and opening the door for her both in the house and at the car. Getting a beer for yourself some evening ask if she wants one also or better, a glass of wine. These are little things but they're very important! Going into the kitchen where she is make a slight detour and give her a hug from behind. Just a hug and maybe a gentle kiss on the neck and then go on about what you were doing. Little things to let her KNOW she is loved and appreciated. This helps to set her mind towards how important she is to you, how much you care for her and will later help set her mood towards the bedroom. Even if it is not an evening when you can have sex so what, show her she matters to you even when you won't be together in bed. In fact, that is the BEST time!

Some females like slow and gentle, some like it more rough however one thing I have found is very simple. You can go from being gentle to being rough but you can't go from being rough to slow and gentle! Regardless of who your partner is, start out slow and gentle and move up as you read her responses. She will let you know by body signs if not in words what she wants. That's why communication is so important. Talk with each other while you are doing what you are doing. How can you make it better for her? What does she want from you? More pressure? Less pressure? Different spot? Longer foreplay? WHAT??? TALK to each other and find out. Make it GREAT for BOTH of you! For most of us guys it's easy, we want to fuck and cum! HOW we do that is another thing, I myself, like to raise my partner as high on the emotional scale as I can before she tips over. She carries me along with her as she climbs this ladder higher and higher which only makes it better for ME as well.

One of the best forms of Foreplay I know is to go down on her and I LOVE to eat pussy! (At the current time I have a beard [trimmed short, no more than 2 inches] and a mustache. There is NOTHING like eating a female when you have these. The hair helps to stimulate the female and you can smell her spicy odor on them until you wash them!!) The clitoris has a bunch of names but the one I like best is 'the little man in the boat'. One of my goals (which I have yet to attain!) is to DROWN that little man. I figure if I keep knocking him out of the boat enough times he will get so tired he can't climb back in! So far I haven't succeeded but I sure have enjoyed trying. Did you ever play Motorboat while trying to knock him out of the boat? Remember when we were kids you would make the motorboat sound by relaxing your lips and blowing through them, making them flutter? Do the same thing on her clit! That little man will dive overboard on his own!! To me one of the most satisfying things in the world is to kiss, caress and stimulate a female with my mouth and tongue until she climaxes. To think that I was able to bring her off that way, to stimulate her, to satisfy her so much that she pours her female juices all over my face, tongue and mouth is a very heady feeling that I enjoy. If you are listening carefully to what her body tells you, you can heighten the experience even more. Just before she gets her cookies, MOVE to another spot! Hold her off from finishing. Move down and lick out her vagina and gather all the juicy dew that she has made. Swill it around on your tongue and savor the flavor. Lick the inner lips of the labia but stay AWAY from the clit. Let her level off just a little before you do it again. Each time you do this you take her higher and higher, instead of just climbing a hill you are taking her to the Alps! Instead of just having an orgasm, she will have an ORGASM!! Isn't that what you want her to have, the best sex you can possibly provide her with?

Strange as this is going to sound oral sex does not give much physical pleasure to the one giving it. Then why do we do it? Because of the MENTAL pleasure we get from it! To KNOW that I can cause her such mind blowing pleasure just by the use of my mouth and tongue is enough to bring me to the edge of orgasm myself! It's also a power trip! YOU control her climaxes with your tongue. I spoke of bringing her to the edge and moving earlier, that's a form of control. YOU have the power to decide WHEN she climaxes. YOU have to power to decide just how intense it will be. YOU! If you ask, truthfully I think that females will tell you the same thing. They derive MENTAL pleasure from going down on their lovers, not physical pleasure. In fact it can be painful to take a big, long cock all the way down but they do it because of the mental pleasure it brings them, the control, (THEY are in control of YOUR orgasm, the intensity of your orgasm with their mouths! Just like you do when you go down on HER.) knowing that they are causing YOU such pleasure.

I heard a joke that I want to pass on. Seems like Adam and Eve had been walking in the Garden of Eden and ate an apple. Later Adam runs into God who asks him what he's been doing. "Lord, Eve and I ate an apple and we've been making love all afternoon." "Where is she now?" asked God. "She's down at the stream cleaning up," Adam answered. God slaps his forehead and mutters, "Oh, NO! Now all the fish will smell like pussy!"

All my life I've heard jokes about the fishy smell of a female's vagina. All I can say is that you should find females who keep themselves clean! I have NEVER met a clean female who had a 'fishy' smelling vagina and by clean I don't mean she just stepped out of the shower, only that she bathes on a regular schedule. Musky, spicy, an aroma that is very stimulating, that's all it's own but not smelly. In fact if one of the perfume companies REALLY wanted to corner the market they would come out with a new scent and call it PUSSY! Having the spicy, intoxicating, musky aroma of a female in heat.

After the two of you have had a rip-roaring climax (hopefully) it is NOT the time to hop off, roll over and go to sleep!! Now it is cuddle time. Snuggle up beside your Lady, pull her top leg over your's and slowly, gently stroke her from neck to knee. Share the warm feeling, the afterglow of what you have just done. (Time to get scientific. Researchers have hooked males and females up to monitors and watched the reactions during sex. A male takes 30 to 60 seconds for heart rate and other bodily functions to recover from sex while a female drifts slowly back down taking 10 to 15 minutes or more! THIS is the AFTERGLOW I was speaking of. The warm, snuggly feeling she has AFTER she has had a good orgasm.) Now is the time to give her a zillion little nibbly kisses all over her body. To touch, to laugh, to giggle like kids, to enjoy the sharing you have been doing. It is also the time to find out how you can make it better for her. NOT a critique of what you just did, a report card if you will but what you can do to heighten the experience even more for her. Nibble on her neck instead of her ear? On her ear instead of her neck? Just think about it. Everyone loved the Model T Fords, they were a cheap, reliable means of transportation but the car companies kept improving them until we have the vehicles of today. Safer, more comfortable, climate controled, faster with amenities our grandfathers never even imagined! The same is true of making love, you can ALWAYS do it better if you only knew what areas to improve on! This is also the time to renew your love for each other, the reason you are a couple now instead of two singles, the reason you put up with all the responsibilities and crap that happens in a marriage. Sharing this closeness is VERY important and is something we (We meaning MALES, most Females would LOVE to have this happen more often!) forget to do more often than not.

Turn Ons

One of my favorite turn-ons is one that many females eliminate now due to the current swim suit styles. There is just something highly erotic to me about that little line of hair that some females have that runs from their navel down to the muff of their pussy. Now however they shave it all away! LEAVE IT! Let it lead the watcher's eye right down to your beautiful, wet, hot pussy, right where you want his/her eye! So many of you shave all the hair away except for a delta wedge at the top that looks like a broadhead arrow point. The line of hair down to it would then form the 'shaft' for the arrowhead! A DEFINATE arrow pointing the way to heaven!!

Another one you have no control over. Some females have dimples just above their butts. They are just above the ass itself and right at the hip line. Again, there is just something very erotic about those dimples to me.

I was reading something the other day that gave me pause. It said that "A MOTHER NURSING HER CHILD IS NOT EVEN REMOTELY SEXY". I just wonder what planet that person was from! It might not be sexy in the same manner of a nude body or a shapely butt being wiggled but it is one of the most sensual sights I know of and even better if it is your own child that is nursing! I used to watch my wife nurse our two sons and I fell in love with her all over again each time! She would have an expression on her face as she would be watching OUR child nurse at HER bosom that was beyond lovely. She would hold me in awe just watching her while she performed the most basic of womanly tasks, feeding her child.

Speaking of children, I am very glad that the female attention span is so limited! NO!! I am NOT putting down females, just the opposite. Were it not for a short attention span how do you explain the fact that they EVER let us men approach them after going through the PAIN of child birth?? Put up with all that pain and then let us approach them with a hardon in hand? It HAS to be a short attention span!! Thankfully they DO!

While sitting around talking one day one of the girls in the group asked what we looked at first when looking at a female. The premise was a female was ahead of us, what do we look at first? My question was simple, Is she coming towards me or walking away? I think my answer shocked them. Walking away I look at the ass first and then down the legs. Coming towards me I look at the mouth first! THAT I had to explain and when I did they all agreed they could see where I was coming from. Is she Mona Lisa? A bit of a smile on her face or is she frowning? Some people walk around with a frown or scowl on their faces and don't even realize it. She could be the most beautiful woman in the world but with a frown or scowl on her lips I'm not interested. I will look else where for more pleasant scenery. Ladies, I realize you are NOT out to pick up everyone you see walking by BUT remember the saying about First Impressions. Make an effort to present yourself in the best possible light. Save your large radiant smiles for the person who is important to you but keep a small one on your lips for everyone else. You will be surprised how many people will unconsciously return your smile and keep doing it for others. Smiles are contagious, infect EVERYONE with them!

I said something about female fashion in here. I don't like pantyhose! Give me a female in stockings and a garter belt (what the English call a suspender belt). There is just something highly erotic about a female standing before you wearing nothing but stockings and a garter belt that lights my fuse! The way the belt at the top, the straps on the sides and the stockings at the bottom just frame and emphasis the muff and vagina is one of the most erotic things going. Others must agree as Frederick's and Victoria's sell a LOT of them.

Chapter Two

I have found out something about myself that I will pass along as it might help some of you. When I am with my partner I like to have her go down on my until I climax. It is not selfishness on my part but rather the other way around. I have found that if I haven't been with her for a while I climax fast and under normal (whatever normal is!!) conditions, as I am no longer a spring chicken!, it takes a while for me to recover. However if I have climaxed then I can go down on her and eat her through several orgasms and recover in a reasonable time. The second time around I last MUCH longer and can get her off more than once if she is multiorgasmic.

Being older now I have found that the recovery time takes longer than it did 20 years ago. In our teens and early 20s it took no time at all for us young males to recover, now it's a different story which brings up another point. Young Girls! They are gorgeous with their fine, young, tight bodies but they remind me of something. Did you ever go to the fair and buy some cotton candy? You bite into it and there is nothing there! Young girls are like that, beautiful to look at but no substance to them. They haven't lived long enough to have any life experiences to talk about so what is the topic of conversation while you are recovering? "What flavor bubblegum do you chew, Darling??"

While they may be beautiful to look at, eye candy, so what? Most of them have no idea of what to do with the fine looking body they have or how to use it and only lay there and grunt! I like a Woman! Someone who has been around for a while and is interesting, can hold up her end of a conversation as well as a relationship and can interest me in things I've never tried or done before. While I would never go rock climbing now it is still something that I find interesting. I have always wanted to go hang gliding. LOTS of things I am interested in at least from a conversational level that someone who has done them can tell me about. The best piece of ass I ever had was from an older female (She was in her mid 30s while I was in my early 20s at the time.) who had a very nice body but a plain face. She wasn't ugly, just rather plain so she played Avis, she worked harder. She had taken the time to learn what a male wanted out of a partner and made sure that she did her part in the relationship. She had also taken the time to really LEARN how to use her body and she nearly screwed my brains out! She could use muscles inside herself that I didn't know women HAD! She could grip, squeeze, massage and manipulate my dick on the inside and NEVER move on the outside.

I was always of the opinion that men got the short end of the stick when it came to sex anyway! The human male is at his sexual peak during his late teens and early twenties. His body is still going through many changes, he is trying to adapt to that. The hormonal changes that are going on, the emotional changes as well as the last of his physical growth changes which brings on even MORE awkwardness. All these changes going on, he is so screwed up mentally and physically he isn't sure which end is up and THAT is the time he is at his sexual peak! Females on the other hand reach this stage in their mid to late thirties, after they are fully mature both in body and mind so they can enjoy it more. Tell me something isn't wrong here!!

Using that as a guideline all the sexually mature females should be training all the young males on the proper use and handling of their bodies and how to PROPERLY care for and sexually please a female.

AND another thing is climaxes! A female can have as many as she wants, 20, 30, 40, as many as her partner can cause while a healthy male can have 4 to 6 in a 24 hour period. Talk about getting gyped!! There is NO equality in the sexes, women win hands down!

The Ladies

Female clothing has always fascinated me. The idea that a couple of yards of cloth can be cut, sewn and fixed in such a way to make you Ladies look so fantastic. The sheer TORTURE you go through just to look nice for us males. For many, many years thin strips of cloth called Bandeaus were wrapped around the breasts to give them some support. Finally in the mid-1800s some half-baked genius decided he could make lots of money by designing and manufacturing the Over the Shoulder Boulder Holders we know of today. Not having to wear one himself HE didn't worry about how to fasten them so stuck the closures in the back where it was handy for the MAKER. Who cared how much trouble it caused the WEARER! So for over a hundred years females fastened their bras, THEN turned them around and struggled into the shoulder straps before 'fluffing' their breasts to make sure they were properly seated. It has only been recently (last 20 years or so) that the front opening bra FINALLY came on the market. I will be the FIRST to admit that I have trouble opening them. I've had MUCH more practice opening the rear hooks than the front and can do it with one hand. The front closure bras take both hands, one to hold it and the second to open it. Need to practice more I guess.

Ladies dresses are another thing (You Ladies know what I'm talking about!). They (the designer and manufacturer) make the dress very attractive so you will be even more beautiful than you already are and then place a zipper in it that you have to either be a contortionist to open and close or have help!

When will the field of Ergonomics be applied to simple clothing and do away with useless items of apparel? It seems that a little studying should show MANY ways to improve clothing yet still be very fashionable and attractive and possibly comfortable! But NO, we are stuck with things that were used hundreds of years ago simply because no one has the guts to change them! Ties were originally used to protect the clothing when a person dined (They didn't have dry cleaning then or color fast clothes). When the neck scarf got soiled you turned it over and then later you swapped ends! Even today men's shirts and coats are worn left over right. This dates back to when even in 'polite' society men armed themselves with at least a dagger and needed to be able to get to it. The three or four buttons on the sleeves of men's coats are mere decoration now, they used to be sewn all around the cuff and were used to prevent the soldiers from wiping their noses on their uniform sleeves! Now they are just ONE more thing to snag, tear off and add to the expense of garments. I'm sure that there are just as many outdated and outmoded things in female fashion.

Ladies if you REALLY want to have a sexy walk it isn't necessary to use a lot of artificial hip action. Pretend you have been stopped by an LEO and are taking a sobriety test. Simply walk an imaginary straight line. One foot in front of the other in a normal pace. This produces a natural rolling of the hips that is VERY Sexy. As a retired cop who has administered hundreds of field sobriety tests I can tell you that is the sexiest walk you can do. It is NOT artificial, it is NOT put-on or exaggerated. It is natural and will make a man drool in a heart beat. If you want to add to it a bit then pretend that the imaginary line is an inch wide and with the left foot step to the right of the line, with the right foot to the left of the line. This increases the swing just a bit and adds to the natural sway. If you don't believe me set up your video camera and practice by walking away from it, then replay it and view the 'action' for yourself.

I made love to a female once and after it was all over with she commented, "that was nice". Not ONCE during the entire time did she make a single sound, moan or utterance. I nearly died trying to get a reaction out of her if just a yawn from boredom! The moral of the story? SAY something!!

To become a doctor a person goes to school for four years of Pre-Med training, then Medical school, Internship and then Residency before he/she is a Doctor. After all he/she has studied about anatomy, disease and maladies of the human body the first question they ask you when you go to see them is, "What seems to be the problem?". YOU know your body better than anyone else. YOU know what feels good and what doesn't. Let your partner know so that he can make it feel all the better for the both of you.

I asked a partner once how I could make it better for her and she ranted on about "Why do guys always want report cards on their love making?". She seemed shocked when I told her I was not interested in a report card, I was interested in learning how to please her more. I am not the only one who is interested in making it better for my partner, TALK to your's and let him know what pleases you and what doesn't.

If you want to do something that will literally drive him out of his skull the next time you are going down on him, hum! The deeper you have him the better but the humming, just like your moans and groans, sets up a vibration in your throat and mouth that can be felt by anything that is in there, like his hard cock. I can tell you from experience that it feels GREAT!!!

Another thing is keep eye contact! It may sound funny but there is something about maintaining eye contact while being taken into a warm, wet, willing mouth that is EXTREMELY erotic. The eyes seem to draw you in even deeper than the mouth does which only heightens the sensation! It works both ways also, it should heighten your enjoyment as you can see each change of expression as your administrations cause him pleasure. As he nears orgasm you can watch each change that he is going through. While it is extremely difficult to do I try to maintain eye contact with my partner when I am going down on her for the same reason. You might want to try it also guys.

Speaking of eating and being eaten, it is amazing to me the number of females, some in their mid-50s who have been going down on male appendages since they were in their late teens and still do NOT know how to give a good blow-job! A good blow-job starts NOT with taking his appendage into your mouth but by LICKING it! Lick the head, the shaft, the scrotum, ALL of it. Back up to the head lick all over it especially the part just below the head before you slowly take it into your mouth. TEASE him and make him anticipate what you are going to do to him (it also makes his cock slick and easier to take into your mouth!). As you close your lips around the head and slowly draw it inside your mouth run your tongue all over and around it. Keep doing this as long as you can before using your tongue to press him against the roof of your mouth. As you do collapse the sides of your cheeks so they make contact as well and suck. This allows you to touch all parts of his penis at the same time and INCREASES the feelings that you are giving him. As you bob your head up and down run your tongue around when enough has been withdrawn for you to do so. The more tongue action on his cock the better as you suck up and down on it. Regardless of all the stories we read not all females can or like to deep-throat a cock. The major reason for this is because of the uvula. When the cock comes into contact with this soft hangy down part at the rear of the mouth it causes the gag reflex to kick in. One way around this is to do it upside down! Lay on your back with your head over the side of the bed and slowly draw him inside. This also straightens out the normal curve of the mouth and throat so it is more in a straight line. Gravity will cause the uvula to puddle up at what is now the bottom of your mouth and allow easier entry without the normal gag reflex. It will NOT defeat all of the reflex but most of it. Also as the natural tendency of a male penis is to be pointed up it will now be against your tongue all the way to the back of your throat and down. With him as deep into your mouth and/or throat as you can take him is the time to HUM as I told you earlier. All the mouthing, sucking and tonguing PLUS the humming will have him dropping his load in no time. Swallowing is up to you, I like it when my lady swallows but not all females like the taste and if you are one of them then spit it into some tissues and go on with enjoying yourself.