People expected things from Jason.

His parents expected him to get good grades, not just good, but over the top, anything less was unacceptable. His teachers had come to expect quality work from him, his coaches expected him to perform to his fullest.

He had been pushed from every direction to excell and perform at a level that kept the pressure on Jason all the time.

He was intelligent enough to understand, they were looking out for his future. He felt that if he fell below those standards he would be paying the rest of his life.

At fifteen he saw his life ahead as being far off, a struggle that he had just begun. Self awareness had settled over him.

He was not allowed to date, any activity that would take from his more important activites simply was not tolerated. His time was scheduled and alloted and dating was not a constructive activity. It was frivilous and time consuming, his time was better spend studying.

Jason was on the student council, he was vice president of the Sophmore class, his goal was the to be President of the Student Council. He was already well known for his activities in Football, Baseball, Wrestling and Boxing. He had no desire to play Basketball.

At thirteen he had learned about masturbation from an older cousin. He didn't actively participate in self gratification, he would not admit that he engaged in such a sinful activity. If his parents found out, they would tell him it was not conductive to his goals.

Jason began to have questions and doubts about where he was headed. He didn't understand why, his entire life had been planned out, without his input or thoughts. He understood that his potential for doing good and creating a life for himself was his and guidance was required, but he had begun to doubt and mistrust what he was told from those that claimed they had his best interest at heart.

Jason observed other students, there were several other's in his position, all vying for the top spot, all fighting it out to be in the number one position.

His cousin gave him a bit of advice that kind of changed his outlook on life.

"Jason, cuz, you need to get high, chill out, get off the brain drain and get laid. Your so uptight your shitting bb's"

Jason had laughed, he knew he could not do any of those things, just as his cousin knew he could not. He was the kid all the aunts told his cousins they should be more like. It didn't earn him any brownie points.

Jason would stand by the science lab which sat next to the parking lot, seprated by a chain link fence. He would watch the slacker students in the parking lot. He had began watching, just to see what the attraction was to be out in the parking lot. They didn't do anything, they just stood out there, or sat on their cars, or sat in their cars. He thought they were just out there slacking off, smoking, sneaking sips from bags they passed around. Then one day he got a whiff of sweet, pungent smoke. They were passing the home rolled cigarette around amongest them.

Every day as soon as school let out, he would go to his spot and watch them. He had friends, they were goal oriented and talked of nothing but attaining those goals. He sometimes wondered if there was something more in life as he stood watching the shop guys with the girls he had been warned against, he could hear his mother's voice in his head, "Girls who don't respect themselves, and girls who are loose have lots of boyfriends, but they are not the kind of girl a boy marries or brings home to meet a boys parents."

He had heard stories about the girls out there in there in the parking lot, they were the girls who got invited to the parties, which were the talk of the school, in hushed undertones, wouldn't want the adults to find out now would we. They were the girls who wore the tight dresses, the tight bell bottom hip huggers and no bras, they were the girls that had differnt colored hair every week and experimented with make-up.

Jason knew a secret. It had taken him weeks to figure it out. He had watched his friends, he had watched his parents and their freinds, he had watched his teachers, his coaches. The one thing that he noticed was that they didn't laugh. They tried but they didn't know how, they didn't laugh like those out in the parking lot laughed.

There was a girl he kind of knew, she was the sister of one of the guys he played football with. She hung out in the parking lot after school and he thought he might be able to talk to her without causing the world to go spinning out of control. He just wanted to know what it was that enabled them to laugh so freely, he knew the weed probably had something to do with it, but he thought it might be something else. The music they listened to perhaps.

Jason was not allowed to listen to it, it was the devil's music, full of bad thoughts and negative ideas. But he liked to listen when the kids in the parking lot turned their radios to one station and listened to the FM stations.

He had heard a song, several times, by a group called the Doors, it was "People Are Strange" and he had gone to the record store to find it. He played it in secret on the phonograph he used to study his French with.

Jason discovered another wold besides the one those around him had limited him to. He needed to know. There could not be good without evil, dark with out light. There had to be another side he was not being allowed to see.

Erin looked an awful lot like Marsha Brady, one show he was allowed to watch. Except she would be Marsha's evil twin sister, the bad one. He had heard the rumors, she got caught with two boys in her living room, they weren't studying. Sex was as big a mystery as why she would be with two boys. How could a girl be with two boys?

She wore dark glasses all the time, she was slender and favored short dresses or tight worn jeans, with decals and patches on them, her long blond hair hung straight down, parted in the middle. She was a senior and she didn't seem to care. About anything. He decided that just talking to her would have to suffice, he was just to curious, he needed to know certain things and he didn't want to be lied to.

He caught her in the hallway, when she was alone, just after school let out.

"Erin, can I talk to you?" he asked her.

She turned, spinning on one sandaled foot, she reached up to pull her sunglasses down.

"Hey, Jason, Mr. Straight, fly like an arrow." she said in a deep voice and then laughed.

Jason smiled as he walked up, he was a little nervous, he felt like he was stepping over a line somehow. Entering forbinned territory.

"Do you have a couple of minutes?" he asked her.

"Hey I got all the time in the world ace. What's up?" she asked.

He wondered if she was under the influence right now.

"Can we sit down?"

"Sounds cool. You sure you can afford to be seen with me? You might tarnish that golden rep you got." she said giggling.

Jason saw her face lit up when she giggled. He didn't like the way she kept looking him over, pulling her shades down to look at him.

They sat. Erin threw her hair back as she sat. Jason eased down onto the bench, he looked around, now nervous someone might see them.

Was her reputation so bad, that he couldn't even talk to her without worrying about what the gossips would say about them.

Jason set his books down.

He didn't know where to start.

"Do you have goals?" he asked her.

"Goals, you mean like do I think about the future?" she asked.

"Well, yeah, do you think beyond High School?" he asked her.

"Not really, this is my last year and college isn't my scene. I guess I'll probably get married, find me a guy like you, only older, someone that's got it all figuered out." she laughed and slapped his knee.

He looked down, it was the very first time a girl had touched him. He felt a tingle go up his leg as she slid her hand up the top of his thigh.

"Yeah, see that's just it, I don't have it all figuered out. I don't have a clue. People tell me how I'm supposed to act, what to study, when to study, where to go, who to talk to." he said looking down at her hand.

"I guess I'm one of the don't talk to's, right?' she asked smiling.

Jason nodded his head slowly. Her hand had moved up higher and rested there, she was squeezing his thigh with her long fingers. He saw the rings on her fingers. She seemed to like silver. He noticed the skull head ring.

"Like you wouldn't believe." he said.

"I'm one of the, boys won't marry her kind, she's just a tramp." she said echoing his mother's words.

He nodded his head again.

"Jason, what do you want?" she asked her giggling tone now gone.

He breath was coming faster, he would die if he told her.

She moved closer, he could smell her perfume, a heavy musky scent. She removed her hand from his thigh and moved it up to rest on his shoulder, she squeezed again, then her hand slid along to the back of his neck, she pulled the short hairs there, making his skin pop up in goose pimples.

"I don't know what I want, I just know I feel like I'm missing out on the mystery and everyone else knows the answer. I feel like I'm being pulled in two different directions." he said.

Her other hand came over to replace her left hand on his thigh, her right played with is short hair.

"Do you ever have fun Jason?" she asked softly.

"Sure, I have fun." he said looking down her body, she sat with her legs spread, she had on a blouse and could swear she was not wearing a bra, her nipples were pushing out against the fabric.

He felt a trickle of sweat roll down his temple, down his cheek and drop of his jaw.

"I mean do you have the type of fun that just wears you out, fun that continues on without you, even when you don't think you can continue. Have you ever just let go?" she asked him.

His brow furrowed, he thought about the type of fun he had, and they type of fun she was talking about.

"No." he said simply.

Erin stood up and offered him her hand.

"All you have to do is take my hand Jason and you could find yourself in a whole heap of trouble. Would you like to find out what kind?" she asked him.

Jason took her hand and she pulled him up.

She pushed her sunglasses up onto her nose.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

"Where do you think?" she asked smiling.

"I don't know." he admitted.

"Jason, your blind aren't you, your so dedicated to the pursuit of a future, you don't see your present. Do you think your invisible? We see you watching us in the parking lot." she said as if sharing a secret.

"Who's us?" he asked a shot of coldness entering his blood.

"There's more than one of us out there Jason, we don't get that stoned." she said leading out of the school.

He followed her, going out into the parking lot with her. She led him over to a small Volkeswagon Beetle Bug. The car was bright yellow, he knew it was hers. She was always going around town with a bunch of girls.

Now it was to late, the long hairs saw him, they were instantly suspicious.

"Sit." she said opening the passanger side door to her car.

He saw her go around, she was dancing as she went around the front of the car, she danced over to a tall skinny kid with a bad case of acne. Jason knew him by sight, but not his name, he didn't think the guy was in school, but hung out with the high schoolers.

He and Erin talked, he passed her something, their hands touching, she waved to several other similiar looking girls sitting on the hood of GTO, they were smoking, they two had sunglasses on.

Erin climbed into the drivers side. She leaned back.

"You can shut the door, Jesus Jason don't you have any free will?' she asked.

Jason pulled the door shut and entered her world. She started the car.

"I think we need to be alone for the first time?" she said grinning slyly at him.

"First time?" he asked her.

"Jason, everthing you do with me, will be the first time, won't it?" she asked flipping on the radio.

"Okay, yeah, sure, but where are we going, I have..." he started to say.

"Jason can you handle being in trouble?" she asked.

"What kind of trouble?"

"Jason any trouble means your not complying to the set of rules you are given. If going off with me for one afternoon it against the rules, will you be in trouble." she asked.

"Big time." he said somberly.

"Can you handle it?" she asked him.

"I guess so." he said a little unsure, he wanted to run.

"You guess so. Take a stand, yes or no." she told him.

Jason nodded his head "Yes" he said.

"See you just made your own decision. You are straying from the path you were given to take." she put the little car in gear and waved at the other's standing around, leaning to look in the window.

Jason could already hear the rumors flying. He and Erin went off together, think they're going to her place. What the hell is he doing with her.

Erin was singing in time with the radio.

"...I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I'm a midnight toker...I get my luv'n on the run..." she sang and looked over at him.

His mind was going all over the place. His parents would find out and ground him for the rest of his life. People would be able to see it on his face, he was going to ruin his life and get in so much trouble. Would he lie, would he have to make up a story to save his ass. At least he didn't have sports, it was between seasons, if he missed a practice...

"Do you feel it?" she asked her long blond hair whipping around her face.

Jason shook his head. "What, the wind?" he asked her.

"No stupid, freedom. Don't you see, there are no adults here, no one to tell you how to be. Even if it's for just a little while, your free, no one knows your with me, they won't be able to locate you. You are off the sensors Jason." she said patting his knee.

"Yeah but what about when we land?" he asked her feeling that tingle again, like spiders crawling up his nerve endings to his groin.

"Have you ever toked?" she asked him looking over the rim of her sunglasses.

"What's that?" he asked her.

"Lord, okay I see your a fucking virgin all the way around." she said shaking her head.

Jason blushed at the word, hearing it was one thing, to hear a girl say it...

"Erin, where are we going?" he asked her noticing they were leaving town.

"Up, Up and away...in my beautiful balloon." she said smiling again.

Jason was getting concerned, he wasn't this stupid, sure it had been exciting at first but now dread set in. This could be a joke, that guy she was talking to, she could have been setting him up. Maybe Erin was taking him out to get him alone, then the strange guy would show up and they would do something horrible to him. He didn't really know Erin except what he had heard and the he was the sister of an acquaintance. Maybe when she stopped the car he could jump out and run. But they were miles from town now.

"Scared?" she asked him.

"A little." he said not admitting he was scared out of his wits.

"Good it means you have some feeling. You know I didn't think you had it in you, I really thought you would tell me to turn around. Are you sure you want to do this?" she asked smiling.

"Erin, I don't know, I don't know what's going on." he said confused by her actions and her talk.

"Innocense and incense, I think your so fucked up on rules and regulations, of being the good boy, you really don't know do you Jason? Your just so fucking smart your ignorant of the way things really are. You've never had your eyes opened. Well honey get ready to be blinded by reality." she said and screamed.

"Oh God." Jason moaned slumping in the car seat.

Chapter 2

"Oh I'm sure you'll see God before I let you go. You are going to be in so much trouble Jason, but you know what?" she asked pulling the small car up under a tree.

"What?" he groaned.

"You will never, ever forget today, not if you live to be a hundred." she said.

She shut the car off and removed her sunglasses she threw them on the dashboard.

"Come on little boy, time to find out what you're made of!" she yelled. She turned up the radio, then exited the car.

Jason got out, they were out in the middle of nowhere, in a thick of trees and grass, there was no one around, just them. Jason shoved his hands in his pockets and looked around.

Erin grabbed his arm and pulled him along. She flopped on the ground and dug in her purse, she pulled out a baggie and a little white pack, she pulled a paper from the pack and then began to do something.

"Sit down stupid, watch this." she said motioning him down.

He noticed she had blue eyes. He sat and watched her as she got into a comfortable position, she placed the green crumble leaves in the paper, then she began to roll it up, she licked around the edge and showed him the joint.

"This is a joint, you toke it, you fly, do you want fly little boy?" she asked laughing at him. She was enjoying his discomfort.

Erin produced a lighter and began to light it, she sucked a couple of times, her cheeks hollowing, then she inhaled with a hiss, then hit it again, she inhaled with a hiss again. She held it in and passed the joint to him.

He took it in thumb and forefinger.

"Go on." she grunted, trying to hold the smoke in deeply.

He took a tentative puff, and let it go he passed the joint to her.

"Shit, what a pussy." she said exhaling the acrid smoke.

She took the joint, she sucked at it, watching him, she crooked a finger at him, he moved closer.

Erin grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him to her, she pressed her lips over his and poked him in the ribs, he inhaled and then began to cough as she pulled away.

He covered his mouth. He was coughing hard, his throat scratchy and tickly.

Erin laughed then hit the joint again, she pulled him to her and once more blew the smoke into his lungs.