Chapter 22: Marriages

Years pass, and Diane and Larry plan to transfer together to university in another state to complete their final two years of studies for their bachelor’s degrees.

One day, Larry comes home unexpectedly and catches his mother in bed and intertwined with her long-time friend Caroline.

Arlene’s anti-homosexual hypocrisy is revealed by her lesbian relationship with Caroline. As a consequence, Arlene’s age-based objections to Larry marrying Diane are put aside.

Once everyone has calmed down, it becomes clear that Caroline and Arlene are headed for marriage as well.

A double ceremony is arranged. As part of showing family unity, Diane and Larry are up on the podium as Maid of Honor and Best Man for Caroline as they wait for Arlene to proceed up the aisle to them. Diane notices before anyone else the happy wetness in her fiancé’s eyes. Larry has just seen that his mother was being escorted up by his father and his wife (Archie and Stina).

After Arlene and Caroline are pronounced “married for life” and they kiss, then everyone resets their positions on the podium. Diane and Larry are in the center flanked by his parents, her parents (Holly and Mark), Evie, Barry, Stina, and Caroline.

After Diane and Larry are pronounced “husband and wife” and have their kiss, the podium group and the guests move to the attached reception hall. The two happy couples are congratulated by Betsy and George (Barry’s parents) and Hera along with the other guests.

Being lawyers, Diane’s parents have added to the guest list some colleagues and professional contacts. Then there are Caroline’s guests, and friends of Arlene, and Archie, who received “my kid is getting married, there’s food, RSVP” invitations as well. (The wording might have been a bit more formal.)

Diane and Larry were therefore surprised how many people were attending.

Later Barry discovers Evie weeping, the bodice of her formal dress wet with her tears. “Why haven’t you even PROPOSED to ME? DON’T YOU LOVE ME?”

Barry is horrified. “We’re getting married TODAY, honey.” He rushes off to find Arlene. “Please, I need to borrow your engagement ring!” After that’s been relocated to Evie’s finger, he interrupts the reception.

“Please stay, there’s another marriage today!” Fortunately the officiant was still around (staying to inhale the free food and drinks), and the ceremony proceeded very quickly.

“Barry, we need to go get a marriage license, and then I want our OWN wedding and reception. And that will take planning, so people who aren’t here today can attend. Oh, hell, I wish Daddy was still here to see me married.

“But first, let’s honeymoon with Hera and the other two couples. Diane took me aside and gave me a wedding present, it’s $9,500 from her and Larry. He said it’s from his lawsuit money and you have to keep it, so I accepted on your behalf.”

Much kissing followed. Hera wandered by, feeling uncomfortable in her ill-fitting gown. “Get a room, you two. Hey, I know just the place.” More laughter. “Let’s go home so I can take off this lumpy satin tent thing I’m wearing.”