Chapter 1: Not What I Was Expecting.

Jan (pronounced “yawn”), a new Second Lieutenant, was ushered into the office of his new commanding officer, Lt. Colonel Barbara Flint. She looked at him coolly, appraisingly, as the door clicked shut behind him. He stood at attention, not sure what to do or say.

Finally, she spoke. “Stand at ease, Lt. Elson.” She smiled, but the expression didn’t reach her eyes. Col. Flint stood and came around her desk, offering him a firm handshake, then parked her backside on the front edge of her steel desk.

“I’ll be brief, since I am very busy since my last aide left. You’re going to be my new aide, since you are a recent college graduate and it’s recorded that you have computer skills. I have none. So I will depend on you for that part of my obligations. Questions?”

He shook his head.

“Your name is weird. No, don’t explain, I don’t care. You’re either Elson, or Lieutenant, from now on. I expect exact performance, starting at 0800, ending at 1700. If you are late or leave early, you will receive discipline. If I need you after 1700, and I am satisfied with your work, I will allow compensatory time off-duty. But I expect you to have lunch at your desk, and very minimal breaks or absences. You will be responsible for making sure there is fresh coffee available every day until 1500 hours. There is one small latrine for just these two offices which we share, I expect you to keep it clean and tidy. Any more questions?”

[Military time format: HHMM since midnight, 0800 is 8:00 a.m., 1330 is 1:30 p.m., 1500 is 3:00 p.m., 1700 is 5 p.m. The “latrine” is a normal toilet and sink bathroom.]

“When do I start, Colonel?”

“Now, Elson, go to your desk.”

He left quickly and tried to make sense of the piles of paperwork in front of him. The phone rang.

“Col. Flint’s office, may I tell her who’s calling?”

“Who is this?”

“I’m Lt. Elson, ma’am, I just started.”

“Where is Lt. Dan?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know, ma’am, do you want to speak with the Colonel?”

“Yes, sorry, Elson, I’m Warrant Officer Tillman, put me through please.”

He heard some harsh words from inside, then the phone being banged down.

The intercom buzzed.

“If she calls back, take a message! <click>”

At the end of the day, he wished the Colonel a pleasant evening. She merely grunted without looking up from her desk.

Good News and Bad News.

Along with being a new Second Lieutenant, Jan was also newly married to Heather, his college sweetheart. They had moved together to be near his first duty station, Camp Permian Basin in west Texas. They were in their apartment in the nearby city of San Angelo, still full of unopened moving boxes.

“I have good news, husband, can I go first?”

“Please.”

“I have a job at the Medical Center. [Heather had her BSN (bachelor’s degree) and was licensed as a Registered Nurse (RN).] The pay is decent, and the benefits are good. Plus, the schedule is reasonable, except if they have some kind of disaster and then it’s all hands, like at most places.

“But you don’t look so happy, tell me what happened today.”

“I am surprised, and not in a good way. The commanding officer is named Barbara Flint, she’s a light, I mean, Lieutenant Colonel. I think this arrangement is unusual, but there’s nobody with the authority to question it. She is set up with an assistant, an adjutant, and that person is me, starting today.

“Instead of being a leader, over a company or a squad, I’m going to be working as her gopher. As in, go for this, go for that. I even have to make her coffee.

“She’s about as warm as an arctic wolf, and not half as cuddly. I get the impression I might be stuck here for a long time, doing shit work, and having no chance for advancement, for promotion.”

“That’s terrible! So what does she look like?”

“Her face is OK, I guess, under the permanent scowl that she wears. I’m guessing she might be mixed race, part white and part black. Her skin color is kind of darker, and her black hair is kind of wild and extra curly.

“Army uniforms don’t show much, you know. But I think she is breast-less, completely flat. She does have a big ass. Come to think of it, she’s a human pyramid.

“Heather, I am not attracted. She’s just icky.

“What sucks is, I have to spend a lot of time with her every day, and she’s already being a bitch to me. At least YOUR job is good.”

“Let’s forget about Flint, then. Why don’t we have dinner, and then we can play nurse’s favorite patient, OK?”