It is a fact that there are six possible reasons for sex. Perhaps it will become clearer if you substitute the word "reason" with the word "categories." So let me rephrase it: Whether you are male or female, if you engage in sex, the reason for your sex will fall into one of six possible categories. Here are the six categories:
1. Experimentation. People in this category are having sex to see what it is like. They do not know, because they have yet to experience it. Whether it is sex for the first time, or whether it is a sexually experienced person trying something unusual or different such as bondage, or perhaps a devote heterosexual having homosexual relations for the first time ... this is experimentation.
2. Sex for personal gain. This category includes people who prostitute themselves. They sell their bodies for financial reward. It also includes the secretary who gives her boss the "blow job" for a promotion. Sex for gain is simply using one's own body for a tangible and measurable reward.
3. Forced sex. Rape falls into this category. People who have sex against their will. Forced sex also includes those who are coerced against their own wills into having sex. They may be the victims of abuse or incest. That is not to say that all incest is forced, because often it is not. They may be blackmailed into having sex ... the boss who tells his secretary, either you lean over that desk right now and take it up the ass, or look for another job. Victims of drug induced sex, hypnosis against their will, or person who has sex with someone in order to protect a third party ... these all fall into this category.
4. Sex for procreation. This is the rarest reason that people have sex, yet in nature it is the prevalent reason. Sex solely to produce an offspring happens all the time, for people and animals, and sometimes for people with animals, though no one to my knowledge has ever been successful in producing a human/animal hybrid.
5. Sex for intimacy. This is the romantic entwining of one's own soul with another's. This is the intimacy of love. Giving your body to another and receiving their body in return is the most private of acts. It is the culmination of expressive love and the most rewarding of all the sex categories. The greatest love of the universe, pleasing themselves with another knowing that their partner acknowledges that this physical act is ultimate sharing one can have with another.
6. Sex for pleasure. Without a doubt, this is the most common reason people have sex. Because it doesn't just feel good, it feels fantastic. A person may experience an orgasm during the sexual act of any of the above reasons, but to have sex for the sake of orgasm, unencumbered and without reservation is by far the best of the best. Having sex for fun is simply that ... the best thing that we can do to make ourselves feel good. Not only is it better than a hot fudge sundae, but sex is something that you can do over and over again, and rarely get tired or bored of it. And unlike the hot fudge sundae, you probably won't gain any weight.
As a mental health practitioner, it is essential that when I attempt to help people who have sexually based disorders, that I can see the fundamental reason for which they initially engaged. By understanding the category, I can understand their motivations ... and then perhaps formulate a plan to help them begin their recovery.
Reviewing medical records, it was easy to find examples of patient interviews that corresponded to the aforementioned categories. But it would be just too easy for you to simply read about them, and informative articles such as this one are just too damn boring sometimes.
So why don't you see if you can properly match the patients with their diagnosis and treatment, and excerpts from the patient's interview so that it all makes sense. This is something that any armchair counselor should be able to do, but you would be surprised at the number of idiots out there giving advice who haven't got a clue in their head about how to really help. Also see if you can see how the above categories fit the individual experiences.
Here is your data:
Patient 1: John is a 36yo white male who suffers from intermittent erectile dysfunction. He has been evaluated by his family practitioner who has determined that his problem is not physiological in nature. He can only achieve erection during his wife's ovulatory period, 10 to 14 days after the beginning of menses.
Patient 2: Kathy feels unloved. She is 25 years old, has been married for 5 years, enjoys sex, and yet feels that her husband just uses her for her body.
Patient 3: Terry feels his wife doesn't understand him. He loves her, appreciates her for everything she does, and makes love to her almost every day, making sure she is physically satisfied.
Patient 4: Cindy is a 22yo female who is failing college. She is sure she knows what her problem with school is, but has been having a hard time working up the courage to come in and talk with a professional.
Patient 5: Bill is a 43 year old executive at Wilson Advertising. He thinks he has been sexually abused by his previous psychologist and wants to know if this is possible.
Patient 6: Sally Ann is a young 11 year old girl who is accompanied by her mother for an initial interview to determine if counseling is necessary.
Excerpt 1: "I'll get right to the point Dr. Sterling. I believe I was sexually molested against my will by my previous psychologist. You see, I was seeing her for counseling as part of a court order. I was found guilty of 3rd degree sexual misconduct. But I swear to you I was innocent. She said she was 18 when she was in fact just 15. How can you tell these days, I mean the girls all look older than they are. Anyway, I was seeing Ms. Tapper as part of my parole agreement. She sat across from me at her desk and then we moved to the lounge area in her office to be more comfortable. Actually it is just a couch and a chair in the corner with some big dumb looking tree or plant. She gave me a glass of lemonade and told me to enjoy it and to relax. I took a few sips, but don't like lemonade, so when she wasn't looking, I poured most of it in the planter. She sat in the chair and had me tell her about my relationship with Didi. That's the 15 year old. As I was doing so, she was tapping her pencil on the arm of the chair. She was also telling to me relax and breathe deeply and not to get upset as I told my story. Well I did what I was told. I was relaxing, telling her my story, but I was fixated on her tapping the pencil. So much so that I barely noticed when she parted her thighs and flashed her yellow panties at me. Anyways, the next thing I knew was she was standing and slinking out of her dress. I mean my eyes got big, and I got scared, and I had no idea that I had been excited ... you know what I mean, down below I was excited, but not really into it mentally. Then we did it and that was that. I didn't know what to say, except thank you Ms. Tapper, and then I left with the understanding that I would see her again in two weeks. I could barely walk after what happened, and Ms. Tapper called me a taxi and sent me home. It wasn't until after I got home that I realized that I had been hypnotized and was still so upset I could hardly stand, so much so the driver had to help me to my living room chair. You see it don't you doc? When she was tapping that pencil on the arm of the chair, all rhythmatically and all ... well she was hypnotizing me. And then telling me to relax ... isn't that part of hypnosis? I mean she peeled those clothes off in about 30 seconds and rode me like she owned me, and I was unable to resist, so I had to have been made to do it against my will. Thank god she is well over the age of 18!
Excerpt 2: "I should have never taken such a heavy class load this semester, she said. Still, I was doing okay until the third semester when I failed the trig exam. I had studied for it really hard, but I just can't seem to grasp it. I put so much time into it that my grades in my other classes started dropping down to a 3.0 average. They had been straight 'A's before. (I mentioned to her that she stated that she knew what her problem was and if so she should share that information with me) Well there was only four weeks of school left, and after that last 'F' in math, I went to talk with the professor. He suggested that I might drop the course and repeat it in the spring. I started crying and told him that I had to pass his course with a 'C' or it would delay my degree program by a whole year. You see, I knew I would have problems with math, so I postponed taking this class until the end of my program. The professor looked at me and said he understood, but his hands were tied. Desperate, I looked him in the eye and said that I would be willing to perform any extra work, that I would do anything to get a passing grade. He then asked if I was serious, would I really be willing to do ANYTHING? I told him I was serious. He then told me to prove how serious I was. You see Dr. Sterling, at this point, neither of us had said anything about sex, but we both knew exactly what we were both talking about. So I did it. I had sex with him right then and there. He told me that he expected me to come by his office every day between 3 p.m. and 5 p.m. on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays until the semester ended and be ready to do ANYTHING again and again, and my grades would reflect my 'extra work.' That was three weeks ago, and since then I've had sex with him on nine different days. And on each of those days, he had me do things I would never have done otherwise, and not just once, but on one day we did it 4 times in those couple of hours. I feel so ashamed, I haven't been able to sleep, to concentrate is impossible, and now my other 5 classes are suffering, and I'm barely keeping a C- average. What do I do?
Excerpt 3: "Dr. Sterling, I'm embarrassed to even talk about this, but I'm not sure what I should do? (At this point she began crying and it took several minutes for her to regain her composure) I got off early from work last week and came home. I was quiet because I knew the kids slept in to around noon since it is summertime. Anyways, when I got home it was quiet. I figured the kids weren't up yet, so I decided to go wake them up. I figured they had been sleeping long enough and they had chores to do, you know Ben had to cut the grass; my daughter had last night's dishes to do as they were still in the sink. So I walked upstairs and went to Ben's room first, and he wasn't in there. I figured he must have gotten up and went out to play with his friends down the street. So I walked into my daughter's bedroom, the door was open, I wasn't spying or anything, but she... (Another crying session ... at this point the daughter takes over the conversation) I didn't know mom was there and I guess she saw everything. Ben and I, well you know, we were doing it. (Mother starts to cry and get very loud in the process) Dr. Sterling, they were having sex. Sally was on her back, legs wrapped around Ben, and he was humping her like there was no tomorrow. I was shocked, and then I lost it. I mean I lost control. I grabbed him by the hair on his head and yanked him off Sally Ann, and when his penis came out of her, he started squirting everywhere, all over her chest and face and all over me too. (This excerpt could be a story by itself, and that is not the intent of the article, so what happened before and next I will leave to the reader's imagination)