Chapter 35: The New Guy

† Tuesday, November 7, 2028 (Election Day).

Not yet old enough to vote, the three youngest in the house were ignoring the presidential election. Their elders had all cast ballots by mail, and they were mostly agreed on the issues and candidates of the election.

Six year old Matilda Heidi Kaiser was standing in the kitchen with her arms folded, glowering at her older sister. Feeling the tension between them, Dennis was trying to make himself small and quiet, silently chewing his breakfast cereal.

“You’re telling me your boyfriend lives here now? He’s going to be my new brother or something?”

“No, Tilda, not at all. He’s our temporary house guest for several months until he can go off to college. That’s it.”

“That is NOT it. Look at him eating my favorite cereal!”

Dennis paused with his spoon halfway between the bowl and his mouth.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Tilda. I will buy more of this cereal for you. I’ll get some more milk, too. Hey, can I tell you a secret?”

Warily, Tilda walked over and put her ear close for Dennis to whisper.

“I saw they have strawberry milk at the store I go to. Can I buy you some of that?”

Tilda’s eyes widened, and she whispered back politely, “Yes, please.”

Louder, “OK, you can stay. Just keep your clothes on. I’m going blind from all these naked people around here.”

“I promise.”

Just then, Julie walked into the kitchen.

“Promise what?”

“I promised to keep my clothes on.”

“Sette will be disappointed.”

“No, I mean, clothes on while Tilda’s around.”

“Well, yeah, that’s the house rule. But some of us aren’t very careful,” Julie said, eyeing Sette. Sette glared back, knowing that Julie was actually the “nudiest” of all the adults.

“I’m leaving in five minutes; you guys need to be ready with your school stuff.”

“On our way home, we’re going to stop for groceries; do we need anything that’s not on the list?” asked Cosette.

“Just ask your partner there. I never realized until now how much food a teenage boy could pack away in a day. And Nate’s birthday is coming up, so we need cake flour, powdered sugar, and a bottle of vanilla extract. And a little squirty thing of colored icing for Tilda to put writing on the top.”

That last bit, as intended, put the little girl into orbit with excitement. Her worries about adding Dennis to the household were all gone now.

A few nights later, Sette and Dennis were working side by side at matching desks in her bedroom.

“God, I hate calculus. It just seems like a hazing ritual without any practical use for most people.”

“I know, Dennis. I’m not really disagreeing, although I can think of people, like engineers, who do use calculus often. I run into the same kind of issue with literature where both authors and their audience understand Latin. At least, bits of Latin.”

“I promise you, my love, if they try and fit both Latin and calculus into my tiny little brain, then my head will surely explode.”

“Dennis, I will accept as my personal responsibility to make sure that you get enough head. We’re due for a break, why don’t you take off those pants for me?”

“Maybe I should learn some Latin so I can properly worship you, my Goddess of Love. Venus, I guess.”