Chapter 31: The After-Action Report

“So, you had fun?”

“What a ... question? It was wonderful! It stung, though, and I was surprised.”

“I should have asked your gynecologist to snip the stupid thing. Sorry, Sette.”

“Yeah. You’re a bad stepmother.”

“The hell? I’m a great mother. That’s what Julie says.”

“You’re better than MY mother, Sylvie, but that’s not much of a compliment. My mother couldn’t talk to me about menstruation. I had to ask my father to explain things. Oh, I miss him so much!”

Theo held Pam’s hand in consolation.

“He passed?” asked Nate.

“No, but with Alzheimer’s, he’ll be gone soon. He doesn’t even recognize me anymore.”

“Oh, that’s so sad. I’m sorry, Pam.”

“Thank you. Anyway, it sounds like Sette enjoyed herself. Better than my first time. I was surprised at how ignorant the guy was, and I had an iron hymen.”

Pam shuddered at the memory.

“That sounds horrible. Was the next time more enjoyable?”

“It was, Julie. The next guy had been coached by his parents and was very thoughtful. I enjoyed myself so much that (later on) I gave him my ass as a reward.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I found a copy of Penthouse Forum, and then I wanted to do everything that I read about in there. For me, it was like a textbook. Very helpful.”

“Oh, wow.”

“Yeah. We had so much fun together. But I dumped him a year later. He was cheating on me.”

“That’s bad. What happened?”

“I found a greeting card with an X-rated inscription. From a guy, Julie.”

“That’s not good. Men are pigs!”

“What?” exclaimed Theo.

“Sorry. Not you; you’re great, my unofficial husband. It’s getting late, we should get to bed. Sette, you have school in the morning.”

“Yeah, at ten-thirty.”

“I know, it’s college, not high school. But you should go and be on time.”

“Yes, mother.”

“Julie’s right, Sette.”

“Yes, mother. Alright, I’m going. Jeez, I’ve got stereophonic mothers. Good night, moms and dads.”

“Nate, wake up; it’s time for bed.”

“I’m awake, Pam, just resting my eyes.”

“Bullshit. I’ve seen you pull that before.”

“Yes, dear.”