Tales from an Ex-Brat — a series by Jack Green

Many, many, years ago I had the privilege of being taken on as an Aircraft Apprentice in the Royal Air Force. The three years training at RAF Halton probably made me what I am today. I have applied for compensation but so far no dice -- and no money. When the RAF was formed in 1918 Hugh Trenchard, who had been appointed Chief of the Air Staff, realised there was a shortage of specialist ground crew to cope with the accelerating advances in new technologies. In 1920 he set up the Aircraft Apprentice Scheme at No. 1 School of Technical Training at RAF Halton in Buckinghamshire. Apprenticeships were offered to boys aged between 15 and 17 and a half and the RAF assumed legal guardianship of the boys. The regime at Halton was strict and harsh, but never brutal. Parents had to give formal permission if their son wanted to smoke, and the consumption alcohol was forbidden. In the UK anyone over the age of 18 is permitted to buy and consune alcohol, and the majority of apprentices reached the legal age well before leaving Halton, but being caught in a pub, or smelling of drink when arriving back at camp, and it was a spell in the cells whatever your age. After graduation, or 'Pass Out' as known to apprentices, the recently released inmates of Halton went on to fill the senior NCO ranks of the aircraft trades; airframe fitters, engine fitters, armament fitters, instrument fitters, and electrical fitters. Apprentices were contemptuously known as 'Trenchard's Brats' at first, but this pejorative label was turned into a badge of honour, and now apprentices are proud to be called 'Brats. I left the RAF a long time since so now I am an ex- Brat, hence the title of the series. It is estimated well over 30% of apprentices achieved commissioned rank, while over 100 individuals attained Air rank, that is Air Commodore and above. Needless to say I wasn't among one of the 100, nor indeed the 30%. As you read my tales you will understand why.

1 The Last Trump

This short tale recounts my foray into the music scene, which likewise was short. It is a true story and only the names have been changed to protect the guilty. Per ardua ad astra.
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Tags: True Story, Humor, Military
Downloads: 3046 | Votes: 170 | Score: 6.39
Size: 6KB | 1,150 words | Posted:

2 No Fire Without Smoke

A cautionary story concerning the dangers of passive smoking.
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Sex Contents: No Sex | Genre: True Story
Tags: True Story, Humor, Military
Downloads: 2468 | Votes: 127 | Score: 6.32
Size: 13KB | 2,434 words | Posted:

3 Smoke Gets in Your Eyes but Gets Rid of Flies

It is true smoking can damage your health, but a cloud of tobacco smoke can sometimes be a Godsend. The joys, or otherwise, of camping are also highlighted in this little tale.
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Sex Contents: No Sex | Genre: True Story
Tags: True Story, Humor, Military
Downloads: 2408 | Votes: 115 | Score: 6.23
Size: 10KB | 1,873 words | Posted:

4 Love's Labour Lost

Another blast from the past. Names have been changed to protect the guilty, and the embarrassed. This tale warns of the perils of overindulging in the good things of life, which may lead to under indulgence in other pleasurable activities. Moreover, although you should not look a gift horse in the mouth one should always be wary of leaping before looking.
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Sex Contents: Minimal Sex | Genre: True Story
Tags: Ma/ft, Consensual, Heterosexual, True Story, Humor, Military
Downloads: 2552 | Votes: 84 | Score: 6.41
Size: 21KB | 4,030 words | Posted:

5 Gone With the Wind

The training at RAF Halton was not anything like that of the SAS,or the Para's,nor the Royal Marines;we were training to be responsible engineers not mean lean killers. Even so Halton attempted to forge a similar esprit de corps, professionalism, and raison d'être in the apprentices who passed through the establishment as was held in those elite units. For good or bad the methods employed sixty years ago have now gone with the wind.
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Tags: True Story, Humor, Military
Downloads: 2893 | Votes: 149 | Score: 6.45
Size: 7KB | 1,282 words | Posted:

6 Play Up! Play Up! and Play the Game!

'The important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle, the essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well.' Baron de Coubertin, founder of the International Olympic Committee. This tale examines this concept from the viewpoint of someone who seldom triumphed but always struggled.
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Tags: True Story, Humor, Sports, Military
Downloads: 1987 | Votes: 90 | Score: 6.36
Size: 13KB | 2,565 words | Posted:

7 Fantasy Island

This is not the Fantasy Island of TV fame. There are no vertically challenged characters, or enigmatic gentlemen in white linen suits, although there are planes. This Fantasy Island is merely another excerpt from not so much Tom Brown's Schooldays but rather Jack Green's Fooldays. The events take place after my graduation from RAF Halton, when I joined the Real Air Force in Germany. Nothing was ever the same again; for the RAF, for Germany, but especially for me.
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Tags: True Story, Humor, Military
Downloads: 2356 | Votes: 112 | Score: 6.33
Size: 26KB | 4,970 words | Posted:

8 Driving Mister Dozy

I didn't learn to drive until leaving the RAF. I was in the TA(Territorial Army) when I learned but don't think I was driving tanks or APCs or Landrovrers. The TA paid for my lessons with a civvy driving school and I learned in a bog standard Austin 1100. This true story recounts the first and last time i drove a truck, although I did become a Yellow Van Man
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Tags: True Story, Humor, Workplace
Downloads: 1695 | Votes: 129 | Score: 6.45
Size: 5KB | 1,113 words | Posted:
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