Chapter 2

While they were having coffee, Anne had another request for her friend:

“Gavin, I was wondering, since we’ve got to wait several weeks for my passport, do you think that you could help me brighten up my place like yours? It’s pretty much how it was when James and I moved in, and although we talked about it we never got around to changing any of the décor.”

“Well, I’ve never tried hanging wallpaper, but I’ve had a fair bit of experience with paintbrushes and rollers ... so, sure, when do you want to begin?”

“Well, since I’ve now got some idea what’s on the Internet, that seems like a good place to get some ideas, first. I’ll probably keep the big pieces of furniture like my bed and seating for now, but I don’t think some of it will fit in with a new colour scheme, do you.”

“No, you’re right ... and I noticed that you have lots of books, will you be keeping some or all those?”

“Maybe some, but not all. They are mostly all James’ and as you might have noticed, they are mostly all about religion. To be honest with you, Gavin, ever since we left Bristol and our old influences, I think James was really starting to question his beliefs: I think that I’ve always just gone along with what other people told me, which is why I’ve been so ready to try new things. So perhaps we can find somewhere that might like James’ books; I’ll give them to anyone that wants them.”

“I know that there are specialist bookshops who might take them, and there are also the university libraries. I still know a few people in education, so if you like I can make some enquiries, but what we can do today is get some large storage boxes to keep them in until you decide.” Anne looked at him and smiled warmly and laid her hand on his arm.

“You know, Gavin, it really was my lucky day when I met you, wasn’t it!”

After having the passport-size photos taken in a photo booth, half-a-dozen large plastic boxes with lids were purchased relatively cheaply and taken back to Gavin’s car. They then went back to Anne’s flat, where they walked from room to room, talking about her options and bouncing ideas off of each other. Anne then put a few things into a bag, collected her new phone and they set off back to Gavin’s.

“Can we talk about something,” she said, sounding quite serious, as the once again sat facing each other in Gavin’s sitting room.

“Sure, anything.”

“ ... Well ... this isn’t easy for me, Gavin ... I know we’ve only known each other a few days ... but, well ... I have feelings...” He sat and smiled and waited for her to continue.

“ ... But, well ... I feel like I have so much to learn. And, well ... you’ll have to be patient with me, Gavin ... but...”

“ ... I’d like that, too, Anne: I feel the same way about you!” Her whole face seemed to light up when she smiled at him.

“So tonight,” she continued, “I’d like to stay if I may ... and you don’t have to sleep on the sofa.”

“Thank you, Anne! And whatever happens from now on, we’ll take it very slowly, okay!” She nodded and smiled. It may have been merely symbolic, but as Anne sat across from Gavin, never taking her eyes off of his face, she slowly worked her wedding ring off of her left hand ring finger and slid it onto her right hand instead.

The next thing that they did that day was to get Anne used to her new phone. As Gavin had previously entered his own mobile number, he showed her how to access her contacts and how to add and delete them. James had opened a landline telephone account for the flat when they moved in, mainly in case his employers needed to contact him, but it was rarely used. That number was also added to Anne’s contacts, along with Gavin’s landline number. Once that was done, Anne practised calling Gavin’s mobile and also sending him texts. Then, at his request, Gavin used her phone’s camera to take Anne’s picture, which she then sent to his phone; and of course she insisted that she received one of him in return. They then turned their attention to the Internet.

Something that Anne really enjoyed, was the website that they found, where pictures of her rooms could be uploaded, then wall colours, etc, could be changed to try out different schemes and colour combinations. Then, if they liked certain colours, the website told them the paint names and serial numbers. They didn’t bother looking at furniture, as they decided that that was something to do in person. When they decided to take a break from looking at websites, they sat together on the sofa, where Anne now held Gavin’s hand as they talked together.

“Have you thought about where you might like to go on holiday yet, Anne?”

“No, not really! Since I’ve never been anywhere, I don’t know where to start!; but somewhere quite warm and not very crowded I think.”

“Yes, you’re probably right about the temperature, if you’re only used to British weather. Even though you have ... had ... naturally dark hair, you can still get burned by the sun quite badly, which is not just uncomfortable, it’s dangerous. It’s probably going to be at least two months from now before we go, so we can check all the average temperatures and daylight sunshine hours for various places. I’m assuming that you don’t swim, either?”

“No, and I think I’d be a bit nervous of swimming in the sea, anyway, but I hope that I can go in swimming pools.”

“We’ve got time to get you ready for that, too. Well, it all seems to be coming together nicely, doesn’t it.”

“Yes, and to be honest, it all seems to be a bit overwhelming! A year ago I thought that I was happily married and that my life was pretty much settled for years to come. And now everything seems to be turned upside down: I’ve lost a husband and gained a new boyfriend ... it’s all right to say that, isn’t it ... and my life is changing in so many ways.”

“Yes, it’s all right to say it. And your life will settle down again ... just in a different way, that’s all. My mum used to say to me: ‘Gavin, all we can do is take one step at a time and try not to fall over’. But there are so many things in life that can trip you up, so you just have to deal with them when they happen. So as much as we might want to, Anne, we can’t plan our lives to the nth degree, so there’s no point trying.

“And since we’re talking about the future, can I ask you about the past, Anne; if it’s something that makes you uncomfortable, though, just say so.”

“Of course ... what do you want to know?”

“Well, I know that you loved your husband, but from what you’ve told about your past ... how intimate were you with each other?” She was a little embarrassed, but after thinking about it for a little while, she said:

“ ... Well, we made love, of course: I don’t know if it was a lot, of course, because I don’t know what a lot is supposed to be. It was more when we were first married, because we wanted to start a family right away, but I suppose that it got less when nothing happened after a while. Is that what you mean?”

“Yes, partly: but what about the rest of the time; what about just kissing and touching, holding hands like we’re doing now, not just sex in bed, but cuddles and that sort of thing?” Anne seemed to frown.

“ ... Well, no, not really. We only really went shopping together or to church, and you don’t kiss or hold hands in those places do you. And he always kissed me good night before we went to sleep.”

“Well, I don’t know about in church, and of course in some countries there are strict laws about what you can and can’t do in public, but I’ve seen lots of couples in shops holding hands and kissing. I’m not saying that you have to, Anne, but it is allowed and I quite like doing it. If you are in a relationship you should never be afraid to show it, but whether you choose to do is up to you. But we’re still getting to know each other, Anne, and I’ll try never to do anything that you don’t want me to.” Anne seemed to be tearing up at this point.

“I’ve never even thought about those things that you’ve been saying, Gavin. I don’t blame James, but now it just seems like it’s something else that I’ve missed out on ... I know it probably shouldn’t, but it makes me sad and a bit angry, and like I’ve been cheated somehow!” Gavin sympathised, but he smiled.

“Okay, lets try and make some of those feelings go away: do you want to come over here and sit on my lap?” She didn’t exactly run, but Anne was soon sat across Gavin’s lap with her arms around his neck and his around her waist. They didn’t kiss or talk much, but he sat and held her for some time.

“Let’s not cook tonight,” Gavin said, “I like to order takeaways sometimes: do you like Chinese food?”

“ ... Never had it! But that’s rice and noodles and things, isn’t it?”

“Yes, but there’s also lots of vegetables and meat dishes ... it’s actually supposed to be quite healthy. Shall I order and then you can try a bit of everything.” When the food arrived Gavin just opened the foil containers and left them on the dining table. Anne did try everything, and as Gavin watched her facial expressions, he knew what she liked and what she wasn’t so keen on. What they didn’t eat was put into the fridge.

“Do you mind if I have a shower before it gets too late?” Anne asked.

“No, of course not. You know where everything is, don’t you?” While Anne was in the bathroom, Gavin sat on the sofa leisurely flicking through TV channels. When Anne returned she smelled of bathtime and she was dressed as she was when she’d got up that morning, the only difference was her new hairstyle.

“I might as well have a turn now,” Gavin said, handing her the TV remote control, “If you don’t want to search, there’s a TV listings magazine around here somewhere.”

After his shower, Gavin went to the kitchen to make tea, which he carried back into the sitting room. He had discarded his jeans and was now just wearing a T-shirt and his customary fitted boxer shorts. They sat with their bodies touching as they sipped their drinks; Anne had leaned forward as he slipped his arm around her waist.

“I’ve had a look and there’s a film that looks quite interesting: it starts in ten minutes.” she said.

“You’re certainly a quick learner, Anne!” She looked at him and smiled.

“We’ll see.”

At about 11:30, Anne said: “Do you mind if I go to bed now, Gavin?”

“No, it’s been a long day and we’ve done a lot: do you mind if I join you?” Anne smiled. Gavin turned off the television and the lights. While Anne used the bathroom, Gavin washed up the drinks mugs, by which time the bathroom was free.

By the time that he had brushed his teeth, Anne was lying in bed with the light still on. Gavin quickly removed his shirt and shorts and got into bed beside her.

“Oh, you don’t wear pyjamas ... James always used to!” Then she got out of bed, giggled, and just as quickly took off the rest of her clothes before getting back into bed and shuffling up close to him. Gavin stretch out his arm and she moved onto it and snuggled up even closer. Reaching out with his free arm, he turned out the bedside light.

“So, would you like me to kiss you good night, Anne?” She giggled again: “Oh, yes!”

“What shall we do today, then, Gavin?”

By now Anne was lying half covering his body, her left arm sprawled across his chest, with the fingers of that hand entwined with those on Gavin’s right hand. They hadn’t actually done anything else the previous night except cuddle and kiss a little, but spending the night naked in Gavin’s arms was the most sexually satisfying thing that she thought she’d ever done in her life.

“Well, we have a couple of things that I’d like to do: the first thing I want you to do is ring your church minister and ask him about endorsing your passport photos. I would imagine that he’ll be as surprised as I was to see your new hairstyle and your new clothes, so perhaps when you see him you’d better go alone and dress more like you used to. I don’t like lying to anyone, but perhaps it would be better to tell him that a friend offered to do your hair to cheer you up, but that they got a bit carried away and you will be growing it out again. I don’t mind finding out if you can order birth certificates for one or both of your parents. Then, if we have time, I’d like to take you swimming. I have friends who have a private pool but we’ll need to get you swimwear if you haven’t already got any. That will probably lead us to another little job that I’ll tell you about later. However, as nice as it is lying here with you like this, we really do need to get up now if we’re going to get anything done today.” Anne reluctantly climbed off of him and looking back over her shoulder with a smile, she walked naked to the bathroom.

“ ... He has an hour free at twelve o’clock, so I suppose I’d better go home and find some suitable clothes,” Anne said, after she’d finished her call to her Pastor.

“That’s okay, it will give us time to get your swimming costume sorted out first, then I’ll drop you off at the church and wait for you in the car.”

Anne hadn’t needed a swimsuit before, she never went swimming while at school and her parents had never taken her to a public beach; they were so dogged in their beliefs that they truly believed that it was sinful to show off your body even doing something as innocuous as relaxing on the sand. It was another thing that Anne never questioned.

“You may want to get something different for when we go away, but I think for now a one-piece swimming costume will be good enough,” Gavin said. They went first to the leisurewear section of a large department store, that Anne had only ever seen from a distance when she had been in there previously.

“Something like this, I think ... pick a few you like and then go and try them on.” Gavin could tell from Anne’s general demeanour that she was actually quite excited. Although she was as usual quite conservative in her choices, which he expected, she chose four swimsuits and carried them into the changing cubicle. Gavin waited while she changed into the first one. After a few minutes her head appeared at the side of the cubicle’s curtain: she looked worried.

“Can you come over here, please!” she said, quietly. As he approached the curtain, she whispered:

“I don’t think I can wear any of these ... they show things!” She opened the curtain a few inches while Gavin’s body effec­tively shielded her from view. What he saw didn’t surprise him as he’d anticipated her reaction. The problem was that Anne had never trimmed her pubic hair, as he’d found out the previous night, and the way that the swimsuit was cut meant that there was quite a lot of it that showed through the swimsuit’s leg open­ings, even though she had unsuccessfully tried to cover it up. Gavin smiled.

“I thought this would happen ... that’s the other little job that I was referring to. I bet your mother never told you about that, did she? And that’s what comes of you not having had any close female friends. With the swimwear and the brief underwear that woman wear today, it’s actually quite common for them to trim that hair or even shave it off completely. And it’s not sinful or sluttish, if that’s what you’re worried about. If you want to do something about it you have two choices: there are places where you can pay to have it done for you, but if that embarrasses you, you can do it yourself at home ... or get someone to do it for you.” Anne’s frown turned to a grin. “So just pick the swimsuit that you really want,” Gavin continued, “then we’ll sort the other thing out later.”

In the end Anne bought her swimwear and after talking about it she opted to let a beautician tackle her personal ‘grooming’ problem. When they eventually came out of the beauty salon it was time for Anne to get ready to meet her pastor. As they were driving back to Anne’s flat, which wasn’t very far from the church that she and James attended, she explained about the beautician’s treatment:

“The young woman was very nice when I explained it to her. It was a very strange feeling lying there with a stranger and with no underwear on, but you get used to it. It still feels a bit strange ‘down there’, too, now, but actually quite nice, and the beautician said that I can go back there and have it done regularly but most women do it themselves. There was something else,” Anne said, almost coyly, “ ... she asked me if I had a boyfriend and when I told that I did, she said that you’d probably notice the difference as well. I didn’t really understand that bit, but I was a bit too embarrassed to ask her what she meant: will you tell me, Gavin?” He smiled.

“Of course ... but not now; you’ve got an appointment to keep.”

When Anne arrived at the church her appearance was a mixture of old and new: she wore one of the sober, knee-length dresses that she used to wear for work over dark, opaque tights. She did now own a blue denim jacket which she wore, and of course there was that hair ... In her handbag were the passport photos and the application form.

Back at Gavin’s flat, Anne couldn’t wait to try on her new costume while he made them both a drink and a sandwich. She had a big smile on her face when she came into the sitting room.

“Oh, this is so much better, isn’t it!” she exclaimed, as she stood in front of him, modelling it. He loved the new look, with the high-cut legs and the low-cut back, and the way that the swimsuit fabric moulded itself to her shapely body, emphasising her flat belly and the roundness of her bum and boobs.

“Yes, much! Why don’t you leave it on under your clothes, now. So tell me what the minister said?” Anne sat beside him on the sofa and took a bite out of her lunch.

“Well, Pastor Robert is a very nice man and lots of people just call him ‘Robert’, which he doesn’t mind but I think is a bit disrespectful. So he asked me how I was coping after losing James and why I hadn’t been in church for a while. So I remembered what you told me and I said that I was still coming to terms with James’ passing and as he could probably tell, I was in the process of re-evaluating my life without him ... which is all true, isn’t it. He did say that my hair looked very different, but very nice. I didn’t say that thing you told me, but I said that it was about my self-esteem and that it was helping me to feel better about my life ... which again is true. Anyway, he was happy to do the passport photos and I said that I may not be in church as often from now on, but that I would stay in touch.”

As soon as they’d finished eating and Anne had put on some more clothes, they were off out again.

“So where are we going, Gavin: all you said was that it’s a private pool?”

“Yes, some old friends of mine run their own business and work all day, but they said that I can use their pool anytime. They have a couple of dogs, but you don’t have to worry about them, they’re lovely old things and very friendly once you get to know them.”

He headed off for a part of the town ... actually outside of the town ... that Anne didn’t really know, but she could tell by the houses that it must be quite expensive to live there. They pulled onto the drive of a very impressive looking house and Anne followed him to the front door and as soon as it opened two Irish Wolfhounds came loping into the hallway and started wagging their tales when they saw Gavin, who immediately began making a fuss of them. He beckoned with his head for Anne to join him. Now Anne liked dogs but she had no previous experience with some­thing so large, but this was another day for jumping into new things with both feet, so she went towards one of them and started to pet it and talk to it and the dog responded well.

“That’s Jasper,” Gavin said, “and this is Jake. I’ll just feed them while we’re here ... you don’t mind if they hang around with us for a bit afterwards they like a bit of company?”

“No, of course not, this is a lovely place and it’s their home.”

“Just give me a few minutes, then, and I’ll show you round.”

Gavin opened a large tin of dog meat which he shared between the animals, then he filled two more bowls with a dry mix and finally filled their water bowls. While Jake and Jasper were making short work of their meal, Gavin led Anne into the kitchen.

“Wow, this is bigger than my living room!” she exclaimed. The other rooms he showed her were equally as impressive.

“This is what I brought you to see,” Gavin said as he led her outside. The rear garden was long and completely shielded from observation from other houses. There was a wide patio area, then a large swimming pool at least 25 metres long, after which there was a partly cultivated, partly natural area. The dogs came out and trotted off down the garden.

“They’re well-trained: that’s where they go to do the things dogs do, even when there’s no-one else here. Well, we came here to swim—are you ready, Anne, it’s heated.”

“Okay, this is new to me, though ... what do I do?”

“We’re not overlooked here, so we can change outside.”

Anne smiled, then walked over to one of the sun-loungers on the patio and began to take off her outer clothes, which she placed with her towel and bag on the low seat. Gavin was also wearing his swim­ming shorts under his jeans.