Alan Goodenough was never the sort of person one would expect to join a paramilitary unit. He had not done very well in university and he could count the number of girlfriends he had lost due to ineptitude on one hand. They were all of the same opinion that Alan was a total cunt.
When he was recruited as a new member of the hush-hush organization known affectionately as "K.I.S.S." or Knickers Inspection Special Service unit, he tried not to think about the military aspects of the mission as he was adamantly opposed to wars and the military in general. The training program was not very military-minded in concept or design but it did have a very strict discipline when it came to processing violators of the anti-Knickers ilk that liked to use shock tactics to irritate the unsuspecting public. Some legal experts took issue with the fact that females were the primary targets of the inspection unit and that made it totally biased with regard to gender politics.
In a way the Knickers Enforcement Act was a piece of legislation that would most likely have never made it through the enactment process but for the unfortunate incident involving a well-known personage of the upper classes. The poor thing was caught on camera minus that required item of essential attire. It was a sudden gust of wind that placed her naked bum on display for television viewers across the entire country.
He quickly learned in training that most of the Knickers Law violators were either simply forgetful innocents or sexually liberated females in need of a "feeling free" day filled with no restraints. The hard-core Anti-Knickers bunch was for the most part expressing their independence from the covert domination of women that unscrupulous males conspired to perpetrate every single day in dozens of hidden ways in so many devious ways too numerable to mention. They were the real instigators flouting their fannies and their bums in the most serene of places.
The whole affair seemed to escalate when a very popular dance craze took hold with the school crowd that involved the blatant exposure of female private parts at key points on the dance floor. Soon the cell phones were clicking and bawdy pictures of sisters and daughters were being distributed willy-nilly everywhere two or more males congregated. It even started a whole new industry of accessories and jewelry for private parts that seemed more like a tsunami rather than a fad. Girls were raising their skirts to display their newest little bauble on buses and trains as well as closets and dark corners of the hallways. Of course it was all in violation of the Knickers Enforcement Act and the females in question were subject to fine or imprisonment or both.
Alan graduated from the training program with honors. He showed great promise in sniffing out females breaking the Knickers law with a natural ability. In fact, he was better than the canine unit that had been established for discovering breakers of the Knickers required regulations. He had become a bit dissatisfied with the procedures of detaining and processing the violators and took a new approach that strove to re-educate the females rather than incarcerate them for the crime.
Quite simply, Alan would scoop up a female anti-knickers criminal and take her to the interrogation room for questioning and positive reinforcement. His method was a bit crude but most effective. He would secure them in the old-fashioned "stocks" contraption and pin up their dresses or skirts to expose the evidence of their guilt. Then, he would make extensive photographic files for future criminal proceedings if necessary. His system would always show the offending parts and the faces of the girls in the same shots to make certain there would be no plea of "not guilty". He was famous for his use of the "rubber glove" forensics to gather DNA from both front and back of the female in question. Sometimes he made expanded examinations if the subject seemed excited about the procedure. Any female that was unwise enough to give Alan "lip" would suffer anal explorations that made them decidedly more docile when completed.
His next stage of re-education was to put the girls into humiliating adult diapers intended for persons with continence problems or advanced senior citizens. Then he would ignore their pleas for use of the rest room and cause them to dirty their wrappings like small untrained children. Most of the females got the lesson right away and pleaded to be allowed to wear proper knickers instead of the degrading trainers. Soon, he had a full audience of fellow K.I.S.S. enforcement agents both male and female closely watching his methods to gauge the reason for his high rate of success in rehabilitating the female criminals.
The hard core of anti-knickers females took longer to convert but he generally took them to private holding cells without video or voice recording devices and devoted his free time to their conversion. These special cases were careful in future to never cross the path of a K.I.S.S. agent because they knew their second time around would be even worse than the first. It was noticeable that whenever Alan came into the same room with one of them after their training was completed that they stood and kept silent until spoken to for some reason. Alan didn't allow any of the other agents to watch his methods with the difficult cases for obvious reasons but he did parade them in front of the others from time to time and had them raise their skirts to show their full compliance with the new laws.
He enjoyed working on the real anti-knickers bunch, but his best efforts were often with the category of knickers criminal that was of the "forgetful" innocent variety. One such female was Mary Mason, a girl of only eighteen years of age and a supposed person of good breeding and doting parents. She had been sniffed out by him personally on a train in the center of the city looking beautiful and innocent to all intents and purposes. He had an assistant hold her immobile whilst he raised her skirt in the rear and showed witnesses the fact she had no undies at all.
Poor Mary was mortified remembering that she had taken them off to remove a spot of toothpaste that had fallen on them in the bathroom just before she got dressed. She was allowing them to dry upstairs and ran out of the house to make it to the train so she would be on time.
Of course, it was too late now because she had been nicked by Agent Alan of K.I.S.S. and had to go through rehabilitation or face a court date that would expose her and her family to humiliation and inconvenience as well as a hefty fine to boot.