Chapter 14

ANNA

Friday was better and worse. Fear and worry had turned into restless anticipation. I couldn't wait to see John but the hours dragged on and on. I swear I was ready to flip my desk over and set fire to the place by the time 5pm came around. As soon as I got home, I started getting ready. Shower, shave, I must've brushed my hair 300 times. I picked out my outfit a few times, before finally settling on a nice navy skirt (with panties this time, shit I still needed to get my dress clean I realized), and a bone white blouse. Stocking and heels. Then I power-fidgeted through my apartment generally making things cleaner. I made my bed and straightened my room, and I was on the stoop by 6:45. If I thought my workday went slowly, that last 15 minutes took years to pass.

When John stepped out of the cab I was already moving. I couldn't help it. I need to feel his arms around me. It was a compulsion. Luckily, he was ready and didn't drop me. I'm also lucky I didn't tear my skirt to shreds when I threw my legs around him. God he's a big man. Flashes of that pillar, and of oak trees crashed through my mind as I reveled in his scent.

I mumbled something about how happy I was to see him, carefully using Jonathon, instead of what I wanted to say. As much as I hoped for, I wasn't ready to abandon our fiction no matter how thin in case he didn't feel the same way. He corrected me immediately, and I lost it. I was so relieved and so happy my stupid eyes starting crying again. Sometimes I hate being a girl. But he set that right too, and all my stress and worry seemed to float away. I was so excited. I had no idea what we were going to do, and to be honest, didn't care. I was with John and that was enough. Almost enough. Sometime during the week, I'd finally accepted that yes, I was in love with him, and had been forever. Which led to the realization that, at some point, if I was very very lucky, I'd be able to fuck him. And as soon as I realized that, I had a hard time thinking of anything else.