Chapter 2

One by one, she had confided to her Council members that she had looked at a book. As she had hoped, there was no great shock -- she'd told them what she planned to do before they selected her. Then she revealed she'd looked at more than one. In fact she'd looked at all of them. She gave permission for the Council members to spread the word, and soon all the sisters knew that their Mother Superior had looked at the books.

Julie avoided Sister Catherine as much as possible. Even though Julie now wore the cross and the ring, she could never forget the palpable sense of authority that came from the older woman's eyes. And their gaze always fed her doubts as to whether she was doing the right thing.

Among the books, some had tidbits that would be helpful in building boats. The encyclopedia had entries for various parts of boats and kinds of boats. Sister Grace was the most adept woodworker. After appropriate formalities marking the gravity of the step, she invited Sister Grace into her private audience room and produced three books with their short passages related to boat building. Sister Grace studied them and took notes and sketches while Sister Julie looked on, never letting the books out of her presence.

First they created a boxy tub that floated. Then they created an elongated box, then one with sloping sides and a gradually sloping front. At last they had a little boat that seemed seaworthy. They hadn't been able to make oarlocks, so they had to paddle instead of row. One sister paddled on the left side, the other on the right. They could paddle it around the island and could go away from shore for a considerable ways. It leaked, but by use of a large clam shell they could bail the boat out faster than the water came in. This was the responsibility for the third person in the boat. A cooking pot also would have worked, but the shell was good enough and the pots were precious.

After much prayer and counsel, Julie was ready to order an expedition. Some of the sisters were strongly opposed, none more than Sister Catherine, but after they had stated their objections once they were obedient and said no more.

The question arose of who should go with the expedition.

Julie wanted to go. Others thought this was unwise -- suppose she were lost at sea? But she wasn't irreplaceable. The same drive that had made the Council choose her made her want to go, not sit back and let others report on what they had found.

For her companions Julie chose Sister Frances and Sister Lisa. They were close to Julie in age, so they had been novices together and she felt she really knew them. They were also strong paddlers, and they believed in Julie's plan. But she didn't share any of her knowledge about how to make babies -- that would be for another trip, if at all.

So with most of the sisters seeing them off -- Julie made attendance optional -- the three of them set out shortly after dawn one morning. Julie took a turn with a paddle now and then so Frances and Lisa could rest. Otherwise she bailed the boat as needed but mostly rested. They had been paddling for what seemed a very long time, and as noon approached the receding shape of Our Lady was still much larger than the growing shape of Our Savior. Julie ordered them to turn back.

There followed more days of paddling practice, and this time Julie participated seriously. Some of the older sisters muttered about the insult to the dignity of the office of Mother Superiority, but Julie ignored them. Along with building up their strength the three of them sought more efficient methods so each paddle stroke would move the boat farther. Grace watched from the shore and consulted the books in Julie's presence now and then and they thought it was a little better. In preparation for this second attempt, Julie made sure that they were traveling with a full moon, so they could still see their destination after dark.

When they were ready, they set off once more, this time leaving before dawn. They paddled hard. When Julie took over a paddle they kept moving at a decent pace. By late afternoon they decided they were definitely closer to Our Savior than to Our Lady. On they went, aiming for the moonlit shape of the island. The moon was on its downward arc when they finally were within easy paddling distance. There were no obvious signs of habitation, but then it was the middle of the night. They rested to regain strength, and then paddled in to the nearest beach. They all noted how momentous it was to step onto another island. They bathed in the sea to get the worst of the sweat off, then rested and waited for the dawn.

Julie had repeatedly wondered how they would be received. She briefly worried that they would be attacked. Surely if the men still followed the teachings of the Church this would not happen, but assuming the boat to Our Savior no longer came, who knew what changes that might bring to the island? Decent men could descend into savagery; this she knew from her forbidden books. If the men were merely hostile, they should at least be able to make an escape.

Pulling the boat well up onto the beach, the three changed from their work habits into nicer ceremonial habits and began walking along the beach to their right. Before long they spied a man at some distance, and then another. They waved but weren't noticed at first. When one man did see them, he waved back, and only after peering carefully did he decide they were unfamiliar. At that, both men ran away at top speed. The three women kept walking.

Soon they were met by a dozen men walking towards them, some holding long sticks, a few balancing rocks in their hands. They all had beards.

At hailing distance, Julie called out, "Hello! I am the Mother Superior from Our Lady."

"Hello! I am Brother James. Why are you here?" He spoke with a funny accent. The men who were carrying weapons considered briefly and dropped them, one by one.

"Our boat stopped coming ten years ago. Do you have an annual boat? Does it still come?"

"No," said James, but the others stopped him from saying more. "We should consult with the abbot."

The men turned around and a couple ran ahead, while the others uneasily led the way and the women followed just as uneasily ten paces behind.

As they left the beach and climbed the path to the settlement, Julie was surprised at how much it resembled their own. It made sense, though. If the Church had laid out the settlements over a hundred years before, at the same time, they would have little reason to choose a different plan for men as opposed to women.

When they were in the central square, twenty men faced them. One of many with gray hair and beard had a cross on a chain and a ring, and announced himself as the abbot. He did not look at all friendly. "You say you are the Mother Superior. Where is your cross and ring?"

"We thought we might perish on the journey, and felt those blessed objects should remain safe."

That seemed to satisfy the abbot. "Come inside," he said, and entered the building that was analogous to the Mother Superior's residence. Only two of his fellows joined them, so it was three men and three women who sat in the receiving room.

The abbot bowed his head. "May the Lord God guide us as we meet today."

"Amen," said Julie and the others.

"So, Mother Superior, do you have a set of rules to follow like I do?"

"Yes, I do."

"Do those rules allow you to cross to this island?"

"No."

"Do they, like mine, specifically forbid leaving your island?"

"Yes."

"Then, might I ask, why are you here, in direct violation of instructions from the Church?"

"Our boat stopped coming. The one that has a new little girl each year. You get a similar visit?"

"We did, until ten years ago."

"Right. We realized that without any new girls arriving, we would die off. We thought it was worth being flexible and breaking the one rule to try to save the community."

"And how would visiting us do that?"

"I wasn't sure, but I thought we could exchange ideas." On a sudden whim, she said, "And hey, I thought maybe our little girls were being delivered here by mistake."

The other four suppressed smiles, but the abbot remained stone-faced.

"Or," she continued. "Perhaps the Church ran into difficulties and had time to give you instructions but hadn't had time to get the word to us."

He nodded thoughtfully.

"Could we discuss this privately?" Julie asked. "As Abbot to Mother Superior? With God as our constant companion and guide, of course."

"That is acceptable," said the abbot.

The two of them withdrew into the private audience room.

The abbot sat on his chair and Julie on the couch.

"So," she said. "How have things been going here since the boat stopped coming? Has there been any impetus for change?"

"Some have spoken of it, but through prayer I have remained steadfastly opposed."

"So, if nothing else happens, you will age and die off."

"Yes. I believe the Church is testing us. If not the Church, God Himself."

"Um, do you have a library of books? Books you aren't supposed to read?"

"Do you?" he asked cagily.

"Yes. The Mother Superior's private collection. But I decided that this was an emergency so I have read some of mine."

The abbot looked at her with wide eyes. "I feel certain that was an error. You're awfully young to be a Mother Superior, aren't you? Or do you on Our Lady no longer honor age, either?"

"I was astonished to be chosen, I assure you. They said it was because they felt our changed circumstances required new ideas."

"I feel certain you have made a series of errors here."

Julie sighed. "Let me just get some basic information here. You have no idea why the boat stopped coming?"

The abbot shook his head.

"You have no idea how to get off this island or get more help?"

He shook his head again.

"And you have no idea how to get any more little boys?"

He shook his head once more.

Julie thought. No new options presented themselves. She hadn't been planning this, but it had been a long, grueling journey. Why wait?

"Do you have any idea how to make more little boys?"

He furrowed his brow and looked at her. Evidently the men's Book of Innocence and the Abbot's Book said no more about how to make children than hers had.

She rose and beckoned him to stand. She stood fairly close to him and offered her hand. After a brief hesitation, he took it, and she raised her other to sandwich his.

He wasn't a pleasant person. But his voice was deep. He was taller than her and muscular. She could just ask him simply if he would give her some sperm, but she wasn't at all sure what he'd say, and she felt strangely ill at ease. She knew from the books what he had in his pants. Sperm came out of it. But she felt strangely emotional about the whole matter.

"There is ... I know from the books that there is a way to make more little boys ... It's kind of surprising, and may seem sinful ... But surely children are also blessed."

The abbot was looking uncomfortable.

"It requires that we not be modest." She released his hand, then quickly lifted her habit over her head so she stood before him in just her worn bra and ragged underpants. What the heck was she doing? She was having trouble keeping a prayerful attitude. Yet ... Surely she had to be naked to get his sperm into the right place?

He stared at her, eyes bugged out. His eyes played up and down between her breasts and her crotch. She pulled her underpants down to her knees -- she couldn't stay covered and get the sperm into her.

"You're ... You're an abomination!"

She realized he had no idea what women looked like.

"No, not at all! All women are like this. It's the biggest difference between us. To make a new boy, you ... You need to remove your pants," she said.

Slowly he did, eyes fixed on her crotch, whispering "abomination."

Julie was astonished. What the heck was that? It must be his penis! But it looked nothing like the penises in the book. This one was stiff and huge and stuck straight out. The books had spoken about insertion. And ... That kind of penis would need no threading like a rope into a hole. That kind of penis could press itself into a vagina! But it was so big ... Yet somehow insertion was the only means of transfer she could think of right then.

She sat on the edge of the couch, legs spread wide, and held her lips open. "And you ... Your penis goes..." She was both excited and terrified, seeing the size of the thing that the books said was supposed to be inserted into her.

But the abbot seemed to get the idea without being told. His eyes glued to her vaginal opening, he lowered himself onto her, aiming his huge, sinful organ at her dirty, sinful place. She felt the tip touch her opening, then in a flash of motion his hands were on her thighs, holding her legs apart, and she felt the huge thing press into her. At first it didn't go, then it did, and down between her legs there was a sharp pain -- but it never occurred to her to push him away. Then he pulled it halfway out, then pushed it in again, as if he couldn't make up his mind whether to be in or out. But seconds later he gasped and held still briefly, then his huge penis slid out of her as quickly as it had gone in.

Julie tried to collect herself. "So, if you did that and released some fluid, then --"

"Oh, I did," groaned the abbot.

"How did you know to do that?"

"Just happened," he said. Suddenly he seemed to take in his surroundings.

So did Julie. She was sitting mostly naked on a couch, underpants around her ankles, her legs wide apart so her sinful part was not just visible but displayed and emphasized. The abbot's crotch was exposed, his large penis shrinking.

"What did you do to me?" he asked.

"Nothing! I ... It's about making boys..." She pulled up her undergarment, leapt up and grabbed her habit, putting it on quickly.

"You must be the devil. Tempting me to carnal sin! Go back to your island at once and never come back!" By now his trousers were on, and he looked like an abbot.

Julie was confused. It certainly had felt sinful, powerful -- almost like she was possessed.

The abbot flung the door open and ushered her out.

The two men and two women waiting in the outer room rose and looked at them expectantly. Julie strode outside and the others followed.

"See them to their boat!" commanded the abbot to a pair of men outside.

As they headed down towards the beach, Julie's mind spun. The plan wouldn't work unless they could get some of the men to give them sperm. To a knot of young men standing nearby she called, "Watch out for us! We'll be back! At night! Secretly!"

"Ummm," said one of the men. The abbot's instructions hadn't said to keep them from talking.

Lisa and Frances looked at her, perplexed, as they hurried down the beach.

With the men watching, they got back into their boat. Soon they were a hundred yards offshore, paddling for home.

"Ummm, Julie -- Reverend Mother, permission to speak freely?" said Frances.

"Of course," said Julie, waving her hand.

"We're exhausted, right? We could really use some more water. I know they ordered us to leave, but, do we have to? He didn't say he'd kill us or anything, right?"

Julie realized she was making complete sense. Her own judgment had been thrown off by the intense experience with the abbot. "You're right, of course. We should replenish our water and get some food."

"Why did he want us to leave so fast?"

"I'll explain later."

Under Julie's direction, they paddled parallel to shore away from the men's settlement until they passed around a narrow spit of land. On the far side was a cove with a much smaller beach. They landed.

Julie looked carefully at the foliage bordering the beach and was delighted to see a face looking out at her. For her plan she needed contact with men. She suspected the abbot would decree that the men should have nothing to do with them, and of course they would obey. It was vital she make some connections before he made an announcement.

She took three hollow coconut shells that they had drained of water on the way over and casually walked towards where the head had been.

"Anyone there?" she said. "We need some more water for the trip back."

The head reappeared, and then a young man approached. His hair and beard were black, and he was much more appealing than the abbot.

"You are -- a woman?"

"Yes," she said, smiling. "From Our Lady."

"What ... What are you doing here?"

"I can explain that later. But here's the situation. We're leaving soon, but we're going to come back again, over and over, and we need to meet with some of you men. We already met the abbot, and he maybe doesn't like that idea." That was an understatement. "So the main message, to spread to any of the men you think might be interested, is that they should be on the lookout for us to arrive at night. We want to talk."

"OK," said the young man.

"What's your name?"

"Brother Luke."

"Pleased to meet you. I am the M -- I am Sister Julie. Can I ask you some questions confidentially -- you promise not to tell anyone else?"

"Sure." He smiled and looked over his shoulder.

"If ... If some of the men disobey his orders and he finds out, will he punish you very severely?" She didn't want that on her conscience.

"Mostly the brothers get seclusion. One guy was lashed in public when I was a novice."

"What did he do?"

"I think he actually spat in the abbot's face."

Julie smiled. Fraternizing secretly with women should rank considerably below that on the punishment scale.

Her mind kept working over the possibilities. She was very aware of Luke's maleness. Like the abbot, his very presence was different from that of any woman. It threw her thinking slightly off kilter. What the women needed was sperm. They could paddle back, then make another trip over, but why not seize the day?

"Say, if you can help us replenish our water, we'll leave. But if we came back after dark ... Is there some place we could pull in secretly? To meet you?"

"If you go that way for a while," he said, pointing to his right, "there's a cove just before the rock pile. I ... I could be there."

"Great! And if you can find one or two others that would be even better."

"OK."

"So, can you help us get water right now?" She held out the hollow coconuts.

"Sure ... the spring is some distance from here, but I should return within an hour."

"Good."

And with that he was off.

The three young women rested in the shade at the edge of the beach, awaiting his return.

They replayed the morning's events. Julie decided she was too embarrassed to admit what had happened in the abbot's private sitting room, so she left out that part. After a brief pause, she said, "What did you two think of the men?"

"Excuse me?"

"You've never seen men before, right? Never even seen a picture. How did they strike you?"

"They sure look different, with all that hair on their faces. But in a lots of ways they seemed like people, just like us," said Sister Frances.

"Did they make you feel funny, somehow? Like beyond being a curiosity?"

"Ummm, yes," said Sister Lisa. "But I don't quite know how."

"Did they make you feel perhaps a little more excited? Your heart beating a little faster?"

"Yes, Reverend Mother," said Frances. "I wondered if it was sinful. It didn't feel entirely consistent with a prayerful attitude."

Julie smiled to herself and reviewed her plan. Three babies wouldn't be too much. And she knew that they weren't all guaranteed to have babies from one dose of sperm -- maybe one of them wouldn't.

"Can I tell the two of you my secret plan for saving Our Lady? You really mustn't tell another soul."

"Of course, Reverend Mother," said Frances. Lisa nodded.

"Just call me Julie for now, OK? For this conversation? Just Julie, like old times?"

"OK, Julie," said Frances. Lisa nodded again.

Julie proceeded to explain how babies actually grew inside women's bodies, and that they could produce new little girls themselves, even if the boat never came. the two sisters listened, incredulous. However, she explained, it did require men. When it came time for describing the actual sperm transfer, Julie was now armed with the information she had been lacking a few hours earlier.

"The penis becomes hard, much like a finger -- a big finger. That allows it to penetrate a woman's vagina. The man moves it in and out and after a few seconds the sperm comes out of the tip. When he removes his penis, the sperm stays behind."

"So ... One of the sisters will be chosen to be subjected to this?"

"Since we haven't received any little girls in so long, I think we should try to make several babies. I will ask for volunteers from among those who are suitable."

After a brief pause, Frances said, "So, after we've got the volunteers, three of them will have to make another trip over here before long."

"Actually, I'm going to volunteer, and thought I'd see if I can get some sperm on this trip. Brother Luke told me of a place where we could meet tonight." She felt a tingling between her legs.

"Would you like us to volunteer?"

"I think that is entirely up to you. It is a big decision. Apparently pregnancy can be uncomfortable."

"What makes someone a good candidate?"

"Being between the ages of 18 and 30, a strong paddler, and committed to not letting Our Lady die out."

Frances and Lisa both smiled. They were obviously both ideal candidates.

They became aware of someone approaching. It was Luke, bearing not just the replenished coconuts but some bananas and dried fish. They thanked him. Julie asked if he thought he could get a total of three men to meet them that night. He said he thought so. They reloaded their boat and set off, paddling in the direction of Our Lady, but very slowly.

"How do we get the men to do it?" said Frances.

"I get the impression they tend to be willing."

"Will he know what to do exactly?"

"No, probably not. You've got to remember that these men have no idea what a woman looks like between her legs. They've never seen anyone without a penis down there."

"That is so strange."

"I think it's best if you lie on your back without any undergarments in the way and spread your legs. The man lies down on top of you."

Lisa shuddered. "Reverend Mother, it ... it sounds sinful."

"I understand your concern. It seems to have that potential. Yet -- there is no other way to produce children. So if it is sinful, it is a necessary sin. If you don't want to Lisa, you don't have to. If your own conscience is not right with it, you mustn't. I noticed you shuddered."

"I didn't shudder because it sounded terrible," said Lisa, smiling slightly. "Reverend Mother, perhaps you remember the sin I have confessed to you more than once -- the sin of my hand between my legs when not needed for cleaning?"

"Yes, I remember."

"And it's a temptation because it, um, feels good?"

Julie smiled. "The Mother Superior has no idea what you're talking about. But Julie knows exactly what you're talking about." She felt a little shiver.

"Do you think it feels good because ... because that's where things happen to make a baby?"

Julie hadn't put that together before, but it made perfect sense. "Probably, yes."

They lingered on the shore until late afternoon, then began paddling towards Our Lady very slowly.

Luke's heart pounded with excitement. Nothing new ever happened on Our Savior -- until today! To finally meet a woman! Until today they had just existed in theory and held no interest. Another kind of person -- big deal. But these actual women -- very much like them in some ways, but different in others. She talked funny -- her "o" sounds were weird. Did all women talk like that? And her shape -- those bulges on her chest. She was just so ... so interesting! And now she wanted him to meet her again that night.

Of course he should ask his superior brother James before doing something so far outside of their daily routine, but he would probably say no. Better to do penance later if he was discovered. But he probably wouldn't be.

He rushed to make prayers on time, and all through the hour-long service his mind was even farther from humble contemplation than usual. She wanted two more brothers, if he could get them. He wanted to please this sister Julie, though he wasn't sure why. But also, for something this new and exciting, he wanted to be able to have friends to talk about it with. Who could he get? Not somebody devout, or timid, or in with the older brothers, or looking to advance in the order. Somebody who could keep quiet -- that was the biggest thing.

After prayers he caught up with his friend Jacob. The other young man said at once, "Did you see the women? When they came right up into the settlement? Three of them? It was so strange --"

"I missed that, but --"

Jacob kept right on, explaining the exciting morning's happenings.

"Right, right, but I've got something even better! I was walking along the shore 'contemplating' and saw this boat with three women in it -- must have been the same ones! But one of them came and talked to me! So I helped her get more water and food before they go back to Our Lady."

"Amazing!"

"But that's not the only thing. They're going to hang around and want to meet me again tonight."

"Jesus!"

"And here's the thing. They want me to bring another couple men. Do you want to go?"

"Um, sure!"

"I didn't bring it up with brother James..."

"Of course not!"

"Who else could we get? Michael maybe?" After he said it he remembered that he liked Michael more than Jacob did.

"No, not him. David! what about David?"

David was lots of fun, it was true. "Yeah, but I don't think David could keep quiet. No one can know about this, ever. What about ... George?"

"George? I guess ... He can be so clueless, though."

"Yeah, but he's a good guy. And if you tell him to keep quiet, he'll keep quiet."

"Yeah, true, he's good that way. What do you supposed they want to do?"

"She said they want to talk. Probably to find out about our lives. I sure want to find out about theirs!"

George agreed to be part of the plan.

They all knew exactly how to arrange it. After evening prayers, after they were in their cells, after Brother James's bed check, then they could sneak out. He always checked at the same time, an hour or so after they were supposed to be asleep, and then he himself was a heavy sleeper.

After the sun's light had vanished, they turned the boat and paddled back towards the island, retracing their afternoon's symbolic progress much more quickly. They skirted the island to the left. Before long they spotted the pile of rocks and pulled in to shore on the near side of it. It was a secluded cove, with only ten feet or so of sand between the water's edge and the start of the thick vegetation.

No one was there. They paddled out and explored beyond the pile of rocks, but there was no similar formation nearby. It had to be the right spot, so they pulled the boat up out of the water and settled down to wait.

Finally they heard rustling among the plants, and then Brother Luke and two others emerged on the beach.

"Thanks for coming," Julie said.

"Umm, sure," said Luke.

There was a brief but awkward silence.

"I'm Julie. This is Lisa and this is Frances."

"Oh, yeah," said Luke. "This is George, and this is Jacob."

Jacob was a little taller and thin, with thick hair and beard, dark but the color hard to make out in the moonlight. George had a bit of extra fat on him, and thinner hair of some lighter shade.

"So you're women!" said George. "What are those bulges on your chest?"

"Um, they're called breasts," said Julie.

"What are things like over on Our Lady?"

"Um, it's laid out pretty much like here. We spend most of our days praying, some chores like growing potatoes and rice, and catching fish ... Same for you, pretty much?"

"Yeah," said Luke.

"But say, is there a place near here that's level and hidden from view?"

The men looked at each other. Luke said, "Not really. This is a pretty rocky part of the island."

"But you're pretty sure no one else will see us here?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I guess the beach here will do."

"What do you mean?"

Julie swallowed. What she was asking was so strange... "What I'm going to ask of the three of you may seem really strange. It might even seem sinful. Are you terribly afraid of sinning?"

The men looked back and forth and smiled. "Not us. I'm afraid we've all done plenty of sinning and plenty of penance."