Chapter 1

The world is getting smaller they say. Communications and social media have connected people from all over the globe into one big family. Well, so long as you want to be part of one big family, I suppose it is, considering that the worst fights seem to happen within them.

Still it came as a surprise when my supervisor got me on my work's radio and asked me to go down into Otterburn to speak to my ex-wife about my kids. Mostly the surprise was that my supervisor would even call. Other than the occasional request to go check out something within Kielder Forest he left me well alone as I was atypically anti-social and felt no real need for human contact these days. Most of my communications with the outer world or rather the rest of the Forestry Commission were by email where I was scrupulously accurate, possibly to the point of redundancy. Still my job suited me these days as I'd more or less given up on human contact, save only for the weekly walk to the Post Office in the small village of Otterburn to pick up any physical mail. Mind you, I'd drive in the winter, I might be hardy but living in one of the most remote places in the UK mainland meant you didn't act foolishly when you might be the only living person for twenty or so miles.

A bit of history seems in order as the story looks a tad rambling so far.

I'm David, ex-Army, ex-construction industry and ex-husband too, come to that. I'm 35, in good health, tall at 6 foot and well-muscled in the way that outdoor workers in physical jobs tend to be. Blue eyes and short dark brown hair make up the rest of the ensemble and I was once thought of as handsome, though these days what people think matters very little to me.

I'd married Gwen early in life and we'd had two daughters; Jenny approaching 15 and Laurel who was only just 14. I'd offer a description of them, but other than knowing they had dark brown hair and blue/green eyes I hadn't seen either of them in over six years. Oh, I had a few pictures of them and they were quite beautiful in my eyes, but it's a case of the map not being the territory. Initially Gwen made contact difficult after the divorce for her adultery, though had since ceased her efforts. But years of only sporadic contact had led me to the conclusion that it was my role to actually try harder to keep in touch, problem being I was so used not to. The divorce was the reason I was where I am and the reason I am who I am. Most people get over a partner cheating and eventually move on. Then again most partners cheat with a person of the opposite sex...

I'd realised things weren't going too well in my marriage. I worked long hours and I wasn't giving the family the quality time they deserved. Still it came as a shock to come home early one Valentine's day with a bunch of roses to find Gwen in bed being eaten out to her clear and loud delight by another woman. I admit I went mental, though I maintain to this day I did not get violent, despite a claim in the divorce court over custody and a restraining order placed on me which prevented me from knowingly approaching within twenty miles of my ex and her new partner. Access to the girls became nigh on impossible as Gwen refused to let my Mum and Dad visit to collect them either, at least initially. I'd gathered that things had relaxed a bit since then, though I was too far off now and simply not in the mood for company, family or otherwise.

That however was the least of my problems, Nancy, the bitch who now partnered my ex, went out of her way to embarrass and make my life miserable. She was a lesbian, yes, but also a militant feminist with it. You know the type, all men are rapists, all men do is hold women back, men are the violent sex, and women can manage perfectly well without men as science has made them redundant and so on at length. The humiliation started when the guys at work discovered the details of the divorce as posted on Facebook. The construction industry, like the Army, is a bastion of male chauvinism and politically incorrect thinking and the fact that I'd lost my wife to another woman was utterly hilarious to them and cost me the respect from my team. Respect that I needed to do the job. I can take a joke as well as the best of them, but sympathy from family or contempt at work is difficult to cope with. Nor did the local Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) community help by labelling me some sort of violent bigot and picketing my place of work. Help which caused even further strain with the management of the company. So I was getting it in the neck from above and below. The fact that I hadn't touched Nancy seems not to have made it by way of an explanation to the LGBT community. I guess she saw it as all's fair in love and war. Still the judge accepted my story that she'd actually fallen when leaping out of the bed, as the recorded injuries matched that scenario and her solicitor ran into a brick wall with my denial of touching her when I pointed out that I couldn't have as she was still alive, with reference to my army record. The judge didn't remove the restraining order though; too many verbal threats on my part and no I'm not proud of that aspect of the entire farce, but it's the only bit I feel guilty about.

Still the damage was done; I resigned and slunk off with my tail between my legs, not willing to face the world anymore. A friend got me a job as a forestry ranger in Kielder and my willingness to settle in the most remote part of it and do a good job of land management helped. Kielder Forest, by the way, is a remote National Park in north east England near the border with Scotland occupying over 250 square miles and run by the Forestry Commission. For many long winter months other than my trip into Otterburn I never saw a soul and if I didn't heal, the anger and bitterness came under control. Only my parents knew where I was and I presume one of them had told Gwen. God alone knows why, she was not someone they knew I ever wished to see again, but my kids? My personal code of honour would not let me just abandon them despite my self-imposed exile and despite the fact I hadn't seen them in over five years.

I got back to the ranger cabin which doubled as my home; it was a squat low wooden building which was designed as a showpiece of environmental policies. The roof was turfed with various plants to filter rainwater into storage butts; solar panelling for electricity and heat were stationed discreetly around the site; the toilet was a dry bed affair and did not require a flush, merely a handful of sawdust after each use and a pit with a huge amount of worms and added aeration mulched the rest into humus and the excess was taken away as active fertiliser once a year by a local biomass company. Despite this, I still had a large Calor gas tank, a wood burning boiler/range and a linked mains supply attached to the local grid and was fed by a series of wind farm towers when the wind wasn't too light or too strong, redundancy writ large to an extent. The place was also well insulated and quite roomy. Although designed as a showpiece, very few visitors actually made it this deep into the forest, most preferring to stay near the Kielder reservoir with its far greater set of facilities for sport and relaxation.

Most of my work was repairs to trails, check for soil erosion, the occasional deer cull and mink extermination and some tree management. The forestry workers took care of the bulk of the trees. Very occasionally I had to escort scientists to various test stations dotted about my area, measuring God alone knows what. Mostly I was there to make sure they didn't get lost and end up falling down a gully or exposed to the moors and the four-seasons-in-one-day weather patterns up there.

All in all I lived the life of a hermit in splendid isolation and had come to enjoy it greatly. My few contacts with people being the village postmistress and the local storekeeper where I bought a few bottles of beer and groceries each week and picked up any mail order stuff from the odd foray onto the internet.

As it was getting on for evening and the nights were closing in, I decided to drive into the village using a set of forestry trails which could carefully be negotiated by a 4 x 4 or a large truck, which was another reason I was mostly left to my own devices. Most people had more sense than to try to get so deep in the forest and possibly lost in the trees as all the trails looked the same and there were no signposts. GPS was no good either as the maps didn't show the trails.

I must be mad, I thought as the Landrover lurched from one pothole to another. What on earth could have brought me down out of my hideaway to speak to my ex-wife? Yes, the kids were important to me, but they had my email address and they sent me an e-birthday/Christmas card without fail along with a few pictures showing them to be taking after their mother in looks (thank God) but showing a distinct lack of temptation to listen to both her and Nancy's silliness with regards to the male of the species.

Finally I made it onto the A68 and then the A696 main roads and cruised down to the village to the tearooms where I'd been told Gwen would meet me.

I recognised her straight away, dark haired, shapely, slim and petite, green eyes framed by a heart-shaped face with soft full lips, yet clad in an ensemble that came right out of the butch-dyke catalogue which clearly didn't suit her at all. The terms dowdy and frumpy immediately springing to mind and they even gave the impression that she was overweight.

"Gwen," I greeted her after stepping out of the Landrover.

"Hello David, you're a hard man to find these days," she replied.

"Not nearly hard enough it seems," I said, watching her flush slightly. "Care for a coffee?"

"Yes please," she replied and followed me into the tearoom.

We waited in silence until we were served and I finally asked what she wanted.

"I need a favour. We need somewhere to hide, somewhere that we won't be found," she said.

"What the hell have you done now?" I asked bluntly as I was quite perplexed.

"Not me, Jenny," she said sighing. "She got involved with a local boy with gang connections. He attempted to ply her with drink, possibly get her on drugs and probably prostitute her. She got lucky and fell out of his car when a police patrol passed. They arrested him and got her to a hospital where they pumped her stomach."

"Bloody hell, Gwen. She was lucky, but how does this involve me?" I said.

"Well, the police investigation opened a can of worms in a local community and Ali was the local Imam's son. He's been stirring the shit with the community and we have been spat on, had threatening texts and letters in order to stop her from testifying. We'd just been moved to a safe house when someone poured petrol through the letterbox of our old home and set it alight. We'd have been dead otherwise."

"But you're in a safe house?" I asked frowning.

"So we thought, but we think someone on the force has told the Imam where we are as a brick was hurled through the window this morning. I phoned your Mum and begged her to tell me where you were but all I got was your boss's number. Then we piled onto a series of buses and came up here, hoping you'd take us in till the trial," she said quietly.

"Ok, but it's a bit basic and isolated," I replied.

Well what else could I do? These were my girls and although we'd been apart for five years I couldn't turn my back on them. Nor at the time did the factor of Nancy figure in my mind, which was odd as it really ought to have.

"Thank you, David," Gwen said gratefully.

"So where are the girls?" I asked.

"They're in the local, I'm sending a text now and they'll be here in five minutes," she replied.

Even then, the penny never dropped, my girls were fourteen and fifteen, and they would not have been allowed in a pub on their own, not unless they looked eighteen or over.

We finished our coffees and went outside and the penny dropped.

"Hi Dad," came the greeting from the girls, though it wasn't them I had eyes for.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me!" I exclaimed at the sight of Nancy next to my two girls.

"Please David, can't we be civilised?" Gwen asked.

"I don't do civilised with her. Hell I'm not supposed to be knowingly within 20 miles of her because of that restraining order!" I almost shouted.

"Told you this was a bad idea. He's a typical male and feels threatened by our sexuality," Nancy said snidely.

"I don't feel threatened by you at all any more than I feel threatened by shit on my shoes and pretty much regard you personally at the same level. What I won't do is allow you in my residence owing to your past record of antagonism toward me," I replied calmly.

"Antagonism? With all the threats you made towards me," she said archly.

"Countered by the gay mafia you set on me at work, despite never attacking you over your sexuality, the facebook 'revelations' and by the initial restraining order because I 'hit' you, a claim that was disproven making you out to be a liar."

"David, I know the pair of you have issues, but the girls are freezing here and I'd take it as a personal favour if you'd allow Nancy to stay with us too ... please David, we've nowhere else to go that we can trust," Gwen begged and both girls came forward to hold my hands too.

"Christ OK! But if she starts that male oppressor shit she's out," I groused knowing that I must have sucker tattooed on my forehead somewhere.

I opened up the Landrover which was still quite warm and the girls as well as the two women piled in. Oddly enough it was Nancy who ended up sitting in the passenger seat.

"Make sure you strap in as where we're going the concept of a road is a thing of the imagination," I said. "Also there's no mobile masts to give a signal and other than the direct connection to the internet at my home there's no way to communicate with the outside world."

They all gave a verbal acknowledgement as I got their bags into the back and started up, allowing warm air to flow around them, watching them relax and start pulling off hats and gloves as well as unbuttoning coats.

"The other problem, assuming it is a problem, is if you're a vegetarian, there's going to be a very limited choice. I make a lot of my own food from meat products I hunt, but other than basic veg I haven't a lot else," I sort of semi-apologised.

"We'll manage," came Gwen's voice over the stifled protest of Laurel and Nancy's frown. "It's not like we've much of a choice and we didn't exactly give you any notice. And yes, Laurel, I know you gave up meat. But for the moment you'll have to set aside your principles if you don't want to starve and it's not like your Dad is factory farming the meat he's supplying."

"Yes, Mum," sighed Laurel.

"You have guns in the house?" asked Nancy.

"Yes, a shotgun and a crossbow. I use them occasionally to cull the local deer herd and for pest control," I replied keeping my eyes on the road and trying not to look at her.

"Is that safe?" she asked.

"They're weapons, they aren't supposed to be safe," I replied. "But unless you accompany me on one of my tours, you won't even see them; they're locked away in a secure cabinet."

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Nancy frowning, but she clearly decided not to push things I guess. Knowing she was with a man she'd seriously antagonised in the past, who was potentially armed and who was taking her into the middle of nowhere seemed to have gotten to her.

"Another thing, I hope you thought to bring suitable outdoor clothing and boots, otherwise you'll be getting cabin fever before too long," I said.

"Your Mum told us to take along our camping and hiking stuff. I also got some walking boots for us in Newcastle before the bus set off for Otterburn," Gwen replied.

"That's good," I replied.

"Can we go out with you, Dad?" asked Jenny

"Yes, there's things to see," I replied as I put the Landrover's lights on as it was getting dark.

"What, like trees?" muttered Nancy whom I ignored.

"There are otters, deer, badgers, foxes and even a small colony of beaver that some environmentalists are monitoring. If you're lucky you'll spot the odd red squirrel too," I finished.

"Wow," said Laurel.

I turned off the A68 and headed along a small side road before stopping at a gate onto the forestry land, I unlocked it and drove through before locking it and headed off into the darkness along the trails that the loggers used.

Soon the car was bouncing merrily along, lurching slightly with each rut and throwing the occupants from side to side. I was driving carefully though so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. I did notice Nancy trying to memorise the route but with the darkness I doubted she'd be able to do that good a job as many trails were passed easily without her seeming to notice them. Finally an hour after leaving Otterburn we pulled up at the Ranger's cabin and I got out to unlock it for them. I put the lights on and asked them to remove their shoes before going in from the porch. Other than the lights from the Landrover and the light from the cabin porch it was pitch black and very cold as I took their luggage from the back of the vehicle and carried it in several stages into the porch. Then I turned off the ignition and went in, taking off my boots and slipping on an old ratty pair of slippers.

Inside it was warm as the range was still just alight and the solar panelling which heated water was currently pumping it around the cabin from the highly insulated storage unit built under the floor. Gwen, Nancy and the girls were just staring around, taking in my home which was comfortable if spartanly furnished.

"I'm surprised, it's lovely," said Gwen quietly.

"You thought I lived in a shed?" I asked, bemused at her attitude.

"No, no, I didn't know what to expect and this would have been low on my expectations."

"I'll show you your rooms. The girls will have to share," I said.

"What about Nancy?" Gwen asked.

"What about her?" I replied puzzled.

"Will she be in with me?"

"Well, yes. Unless you or her want to bunk in with me," I replied utterly deadpan.

"Fat fucking chance," Nancy muttered under her breath so low that I believe I was the only one to hear her.

"Oh, it's just that you didn't mention her," Gwen said.

"I'm trying like mad to ignore the presence of psychodyke here," I replied. "I'm doing this for you and the girls, not her."

"David, she has a name," Gwen said. "And I'd thank you not to use that ... term around the girls."

"What comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person, so no, I will not give that unspeakable psychobitch the satisfaction of using her given name," I replied stonily, paraphrasing an obscure Biblical verse.

Both the girls were clearly trying not to laugh and even Nancy didn't seem too bothered.

"Seems I really got to him lover," she finally said. "Now which room is ours macho man?"

"First on the right. Quilts, sheets, pillowcases and extra blankets are in the storage cupboards. There's plenty of storage for clothing," I replied, pointing the way. "This one's yours girls."

I led Jenny and Laurel into the other spare room which had two single beds in it and helped them get the various bedding out of the cupboards.

"You don't like Nancy at all do you, Dad?" asked Laurel.

"What's to like?" I replied with a question.

"She's always been nice to us and she makes Mum smile ... well sometimes," Jenny said.

I shrugged, not really having anything to say.

"Hasn't been like that recently," Laurel said to Jenny. "They've been fighting a lot and this was before your trouble too. It's also when Mum started wearing those awful clothes."

"You really shouldn't be talking about them in front of me," I replied quietly. "I'm hardly a sympathetic audience, although I won't tell either."

"Will you take us out with you tomorrow?" Jenny asked, changing the subject.

"If the weather's OK and your clothing is suitable, yes. If that's what you want," I replied.

"Thanks, Dad," Jenny said with a sunny smile as I left the room to prepare dinner.

It had been years since I had cooked for more than one, but I had plenty of food stored in two large chest freezers. I settled for cooking venison sausage, mash, peas, sweetcorn and thick gravy with dumplings. I was so caught up with the preparations that I didn't notice Gwen enter the kitchen until she startled me with a request.

"Any chance of a coffee, David?" she asked.

"Er ... yes. Mugs are in the top cupboard to my right and the coffee is in the jar below, milk's in the fridge, help yourself," I replied.

"Thank you for taking us in," Gwen said after she'd sorted out a mug of coffee for herself.

"I had little choice. They're my girls, now and always," I replied.

"I meant Nancy and myself really. I never thought you'd turn the girls away. We were prepared to take a chance hitching up to Edinburgh," she said.

"I don't hate you ... either of you, not now. It's been too long," I replied.

"You could have fooled me with that comment about defiling yourself by using her name," Gwen said.

"I have little reason to like her, but for the sake of the girls I'll hold my peace," I replied.

"She's ... she's not like what you think she is," Gwen blurted out.

"You have no idea what I think she is," I replied.

"I love her," Gwen said eyes downcast.

"I know, you chose her over me," I said neutrally, feeling an old ache in my heart I hadn't felt for years.

"I ... I still loved you too, but you got so angry..." she tailed off.

"She wasn't exactly accommodating of me, now was she?"

"You frightened her, she thought you were going to kill her and then she tried to keep you out of our lives," Gwen admitted.

"By wrecking my life, by driving me to leave a life behind, by lying to a judge?" I asked mildly.

"We all do stupid things when we're angry," Gwen replied.

"Yes we do. You need to ask her about Benjy," I returned.

"What about Benjy?" said Gwen, frowning over the dog I'd raised from a pup before we'd even met and had been our daughters furry, faithful companion. "He ran off looking for you we think."

Chapter 2 »